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S.P.A.M.

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Description

Spectre-level Professional Asari Mercenaries

 

An elite group dedicated to those dedicated to playing the dedicatedly most awesome aliens, the Assari.

  • If your meleegasm can conquer herds of enemies and earn kill streak medals,

  • If your thirst and longing for biotic bubbles causes you to purchase lavender soap for the bluish purple bubbles created by washing your filthy hands (bonus points if you make a 6-6 biotic explosion sound whenever one pops)

  • If you have ever secretly painted your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, dog, or all the above with blue body paint while they were asleep because that's the only way you could love them more

  • If you would rather kiss calamari than eat it

 

Then this just might be the bad ass, ripping and tearing, constantly swearing, volus eye level staring, biotic boom boom sharing group for you!

 

We raise SPAM.  We deliver SPAM.  We spread the awesomeness of SPAM faster than herpesyphilaids in a Catholic school.

 

All SPAM, all day.  We don't need nothing else!

 

Join today!

 

PS.  Do you have Instagram?

Information

Propriétaire: Jack Crapper and 69 others

Créé: 27-mai 15

Membres: 30

Membres récents

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  • Spread SPAM like wildfire and venereal diseases, but in the good way!

    par Jack Crapper and 69 others mai 28 2015 01:41

    Thank you for joining, folks!

     

    Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to spread SPAM as far as the brown eye can see.  There are those who dismiss the fact that the Assari are the brest (cue Karate Kid music) around, much like the foolish Turian Councilor dismissed the existence of the Rippaz.  We are here to share, educate, and devirginize those poor fools who don't know what it is truly like to embrace muthafrakkin eternity.

     

    I have posted this before, long ago, but the glorious, voluptuous learning curves of the Assari remind me of that music hologram single by the popular Citadel hip hop artist, Sparky Sparks, "Are You Down With DOT?"

     

    Are you down with DOT?

    Yeah, you know me!

    Are you down with DOT?

    Yeah, you know me!

     

    Girrrl, I'm feeling your biotic drift

    You so fine, it's giving me increased Lift

    Need a Tantalus AC for this heated situation

    Unless you're coool with my excessive penetration

     

    B I O T I C

    You're stacked so phat, like my DOT!

    B I O T I C

    Don't Reave me without dat Power Amp 3

     

    That was the song that played at my wedding.  My wife cosplayed as the Assari, Ereba, and I cosplayed as the poetic Krogan, Charr.  She truly was my blue rose of Illium that day.

     

    If only the Quing of cosplay, Cassandra Saturn, could have attended....

    (Plus) 26 Commentaires


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