70 réponses à ce sujet

[Wicked 702]

I wrote my bit. I agree with you to a point. Just trying to get a dialogue going....

[Nhadalie]

That's awful. I can understand the situation a bit too closely for comfort, personally. Because I've been in a similar situation before as she has.



Yes, these things happen. Yes, people are terrible towards other people. And yes, anyone who knew about her situation should have done something to help her. Unfortunately, people prefer to stay out of those situations for the most part. As someone who was bullied for a lot of my life, I never had anyone really try to stop it. I occasionally had "friends" who would ask me if I was alright. But I was never honest with them about it, and none of them cared enough to look further into it.



My point is, if any of you sees someone being bullied constantly, please please talk to them at least. Or tell off the people who are bullying them. Do something! When someone is in that situation, they honestly feel like there is something wrong with them, and that is why people treat them that way. Unless someone takes the time to show them otherwise, or to end the bullying, the cycle will continue. Not all of these people will commit suicide or attempt it. But.. They need someone who can support them, and tell them that it isn't their fault. Someone in that situation can open up if given time again, and they can learn to trust people again as well. If that person is especially quiet, it's all the more reason to try to get through to them. I would know, I was one of them until I went to highschool.(I was lucky enough to go to a highschool mostly free of people I had known in middle school.)

[smecky-kitteh]

I agree godak. I almost commited suicide because because of feeling isolated and I'm sure it doesn't help to get **** on every day on top of that. Poor girl. Thinking of these stories just leaves me dissapionted in humanity. =/

[the_one_54321]

randumb vanguard wrote...

the_one_54321 wrote...

randumb vanguard wrote...
I don't want to seem like a bad person... do you guys understand my viewpoint?

I understand and completely disagree. A legacy of learning, reform, and offered condolences is not at all a bad thing. Perhaps people don't need to be getting their hearts broken over it, but brushing it off your shoulders is an equally inapropriate response.

If I may ask, what is it that makes it innapropriate? I am geniunley confused as to why it is bad...

It is callous and self serving. Especially in the context of the death of a person who felt there was nothing left in life worth living for. Think of it like saying "you were right, people don't care." 

[Statulos]

Suicide is the easy solution. I have been there, I have been harassed by my schoolmates, I did not have nice teenager years yet I am here. And some of them lost some teeth too...



Shame on teachers? Shame on PARENTS! It´s not a teacher´s job to prevent this; a teacher is there to help people learning.

[Wicked 702]

the_one_54321 wrote...

It is callous and self serving. Especially in the context of the death of a person who felt there was nothing left in life worth living for. Think of it like saying "you were right, people don't care." 

But she's already dead, I didn't know her, and I FEEL no direct connection. Not everyone feels something about EVERYONE else. That's an unrealistic expectation. It neither serves the self nor is callous.

I can LOGICALLY agree that it sucks, is sad, and should not happen but I FEEL nothing due to the lack of direct connection. I don't think that's wrong.

[Wicked 702]

Statulos wrote...

I am here. And some of them lost some teeth too...

I advocated this policy on page 1. I'm with you....

[Feraele]

Well..I feel for the people who succumb to this behaviour from others. I'm sorry they feel they have no other avenue.

I put up with bullying in school, for a time,  and in my day, it was kind of ignored. So..either you put up with it..or you stood up on your hind legs and fought back.

I fought back. I fought back every time. They finally left me alone.

Modifié par Feraele, 31 mars 2010 - 01:44 .

[HookersandBlow]

First of all what is a froshmen.  Second, never quote Fox news.  Third, this is one of many cases which could have been prevented but was neglected instead.  Virginia Tech, didn't that kid make a damn video showcasing his unstable condition?  If anything it is a duty of the parents to recognize their child's instability and help them in any way possible.

[the_one_54321]

Wicked 702 wrote...
I can LOGICALLY agree that it sucks, is sad, and should not happen

And that's plenty.

randumb vanguard wrote...
what is wrong with that? Not being self-serving doesn't help anyone...
It only matters if you serve others as well...

This serves others because spreading the information and inspiring others to mourn will help to prevent it from happening again/as often.

[Starlight]

Godak wrote...

Lucy_Glitter wrote...

I pray that she now sees how many people care for her.

While I do not condone the taking of a life...I think it has less to do with "No one loves me!" and more to do with a feeling of isolation. Who do I turn to? What do I say?

Again, not every teenager is comfortable asking for help, and fewer still understand how to deal with bullies.

That's just what I thought when I'm studying in secondary school. I have got bullied and those who don't stay silent. I have no friends to talk to. I don't know how to seek help and express my desperation to my family. I feel isolated and alone. I almost take that step - luckily, I'm a coward and I'm afraid of death. The situation continues until high school, I have been distributed to different class and separate from those bullies. I can finally have peace.

I feel sorry for what has occured on her and her decision to take that step. May she rest in pease.

[the_one_54321]

randumb vanguard wrote...
Inever realized how common suicidal thoughts were and how many people are willing to admit it...

Hence the purpose of expressing your disapproval of the behavior that leads to this. It means something.

[Lucy Glitter]

Godak wrote...

Lucy_Glitter wrote...

I pray that she now sees how many people care for her.

While I do not condone the taking of a life...I think it has less to do with "No one loves me!" and more to do with a feeling of isolation. Who do I turn to? What do I say?

Again, not every teenager is comfortable asking for help, and fewer still understand how to deal with bullies.

I mean no offence here bit I do take that comment personally as I have gone through bullying all my school life and have depression myself. 

Isolation in such a situation goes hand in hand with what I said. I worked in an after care for a long time, I've seen many children suffer from bullying. A lot of them absorb what these bullies say to them, they no longer think people like them... someone who commits suicide is ultimately acting on a selfish need to get away from everything, they don't think about others. Someone who does such an act, can feel a number of things, but a disconnection from others is a big one on that list. 

So no, I don't believe it's a, "No one loves me!" but rather a, "Will no one help me? Does no one care?" I take offence at you presuming that I not nothing about such things.

Modifié par Lucy_Glitter, 31 mars 2010 - 02:39 .

[Godak]

Lucy_Glitter wrote...

So no, I don't believe it's a, "No one loves me!" but rather a, "Will no one help me? Does no one care?" I take offence at you presuming that I not nothing about such things.

I'm not trying to say that "You are wrong! You have no idea what you're feeling! Bad you!" or anything like that. I was just trying to get across my perspective. Let me explain.

From my experience (a cousin and a very good friend say that they both contemplated suicide), and both explained that they did not feel like they could explain to their parents how they were feeling, etc. Now, I do not know about my cousin for sure. I know that she has dabbled in cutting, etc, but I was on the other side of the country while it was happening, so I only got the story from her after some time had past.

On the other hand, my friend says that he was bullied in school, and felt pushed into the "wrong" crowd (drugs/heavy drinking/etc.) for some semblance of belonging. We did not attend the same school, but I still visited with him fairly often. He admits that suicide would have been a completely selfish actions, but he also explained that he did not feel comfortable going to his parents and laying out all his emotions. Yes, it's justification for irrational and radical behavior, but I don't think suicide can ever be rational. To this day, he still battles with his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He has moved out of state, and I haven't seen him in a while. I don't know if he has overcome his suicidal thoughts, or if they're still there, in the back of his head...

Anyways, what I'm getting at is...You're right. I was wrong to presume that I somehow knew more than you. I apologise profusely, and I feel terrible.

[Rive Caedo]

randumb vanguard wrote...

Inever realized how common suicidal thoughts were and how many people are willing to admit it...

This may be a skewed demographic, you realize?

[TrueWindoze]

gotta be tough in this cold world. yahurd. lol.

[Lucy Glitter]

Godak wrote...

Lucy_Glitter wrote...

So no, I don't believe it's a, "No one loves me!" but rather a, "Will no one help me? Does no one care?" I take offence at you presuming that I not nothing about such things.

I'm not trying to say that "You are wrong! You have no idea what you're feeling! Bad you!" or anything like that. I was just trying to get across my perspective. Let me explain.

From my experience (a cousin and a very good friend say that they both contemplated suicide), and both explained that they did not feel like they could explain to their parents how they were feeling, etc. Now, I do not know about my cousin for sure. I know that she has dabbled in cutting, etc, but I was on the other side of the country while it was happening, so I only got the story from her after some time had past.

On the other hand, my friend says that he was bullied in school, and felt pushed into the "wrong" crowd (drugs/heavy drinking/etc.) for some semblance of belonging. We did not attend the same school, but I still visited with him fairly often. He admits that suicide would have been a completely selfish actions, but he also explained that he did not feel comfortable going to his parents and laying out all his emotions. Yes, it's justification for irrational and radical behavior, but I don't think suicide can ever be rational. To this day, he still battles with his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He has moved out of state, and I haven't seen him in a while. I don't know if he has overcome his suicidal thoughts, or if they're still there, in the back of his head...

Anyways, what I'm getting at is...You're right. I was wrong to presume that I somehow knew more than you. I apologise profusely, and I feel terrible.

I feel for you. Your friend went down a skewed path, and the fact he didn't share it with his parents is very sad. I suppose all you can do is hope that he is happier. It's also really hard sometimes to talk to people who are going through such things because it really brings you down as well. I also hope your cousin is better now.

I got a little sensitive. I should be the one apologising. I am sorry. Hug?

[Maria Caliban]

Wicked 702 wrote...

Yes, it is sad. But we, as a society, have decided that using physical responses to stand up for yourself is unacceptable. I happen to have a different opinion on the subject. I wonder what would have happened if the girl had told someone close to her and they trained her to put the "bully" in some sort of restraining move and force them to tap out. Bet the teasing would stop then, don't you?

As there were nine of them, some of whom were male, I'd suggest your solution would end with her getting beat up and then suspended from school.

After all, if someone is verbally harassing you and you put them in a 'restraning move,' that means you've attacked them.

[jeffreykm]

I had a classmate who hung herself in middle school. One of the saddest days of my life, now that I look back. She was only 14. Left a note, but the parents never released it (or the reason why).



She was so very nice to me and quite pretty. Her name was Kelsey.

[RobbertDewulf]

I'd probably kill the bullies instead of myself, quite sad story btw.

[Angband21]

Many years ago, I pulled my son from a school because of bullying. We (wife and I) went to the principal with our concerns, and were handed a pile of BS. The bullying continued, I pulled my son and homeschooled him for 5 years. He went back for his senior year of High School and has done fine since. Intervention by the parents and a refusal to be brushed off by school officials is crucial, and yes, listen and talk .... even if the child doesn't want to talk, find a way to engage with him and don't worry about being "to intrusive" in his/her life. It might save going to a funeral.

[Super_Cat]

I wonder why people refer to suicide as the easy way out?



I find it easier to struggle through, because putting up with the bullsh** of this life is so much easier then upsetting my friends and family.