Anyway Thought'd I'd lighten the mood.
Posted much earlier.
*Random ME crossover*
*Shepard and Tali kissing*
HK47: Disgusted Statement: I simply cannot understand the meatbag passion for rubbing their mucus covered lips together.
HK47: Statement: It makes me want to kill something more than usual....which is saying quite alot.
Zaeed: Your goddamn right! I hate all this sappy sh*t!
Grunt: I love killing stuff!
Grunt: Hey I've got an idea!
Zaeed: Do tell.....
*2 days later on Tuchanka*
*Grunt, Zaeed, and HK47 riding in the firewalker*
*listening to "Highway to Hell"*
Zaeed: Now this is goddamn fun!
Grunt: I AM ENTERTAINED!!!!!
HK47: Statement: This is satisfactory.
*they continue slaughtering Blood pack mercs*
The Official Migrant Fleet of Tali'Zorah fans
Débuté par
gkillerrin
, avril 06 2010 05:11
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#202652
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:27
Azint
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How is Conrad a villain?NuclearBuddha wrote...
I gotta ask, Darth. Why is Udina a villain?
#202653
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:27
Dark_Helmet
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- Members
- 593 messages
Because......I needed an extra villain!NuclearBuddha wrote...
I gotta ask, Darth. Why is Udina a villain?
And politicians make Superb villains!!!!!!!!!
#202654
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:27
cannedcream
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Azint wrote...
I know, right?cannedcream wrote...
Just one night were I don't end up on TV Tropes. Just one.
Goddammit, Azint. . .
#202655
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:28
Lividity Jones
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Azint wrote...
How is Conrad a villain?NuclearBuddha wrote...
I gotta ask, Darth. Why is Udina a villain?
More of an ankle-biter than a real villain.
That oaf just doesn't know when to quit.
#202656
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:28
Dark_Helmet
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- Members
- 593 messages
Don't you know?Azint wrote...
How is Conrad a villain?NuclearBuddha wrote...
I gotta ask, Darth. Why is Udina a villain?
Conrad Verner is the Shadow Broker/TIM/and that douche who took the last muffin all rolled into one!
And he's the Adoring Fan of ME.
That automatically makes him evil.
Modifié par Dark_Helmet, 23 juin 2010 - 07:29 .
#202657
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:29
Kira Shepard
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I'm back with more of the tale of Zaeed Massani and the Quarian Merc.
xxx
What Shepard and the quarian? Damn lucky bastard that guy, even if he don’t know it. Takes a lotta trust for one of them to show their faces to anyone else. Hope to hell he doesn’t screw it up.
Common knowledge that a lot of people in this galaxy don’t think much of the quarians. They label them scavengers and thieves, or prettied up vorcha.
Not me.
Never under stood the racial stigma myself. Yeah, they’re ancestors created the geth. Yeah, the geth attacked Eden Prime or whatever three hundred years after the fact, but it seems stupid to me to punish an entire race for the mistakes of their ancestors.
I for one have nothing but respect for the quarian people as a whole. They’re survivalists and damn good ones too. Sure there’s a scumbag here and there but point me to a race that doesn’t have a few of them.
Actually this takes me back…
Picked up a mission about fifteen-sixteen years back maybe? I’d had jesse for a few years at least and Vido had already left me for dead. Anyway doesn’t matter. Someone wanted this turian merc dead or alive. Something about how he spat in a primarch’s daughter’s face or something I dunno. Guy was offering me double my usual fee if I bring him in alive so they could teach the poor bastard some manners first.
My usual fee is considerable.
So I traced him all over the systems, finally cornered him on Illium. And right as I walked in the room to finish him off, he falls over dead. Knife in the back, and guess who’s holding the hilt?
A quarian merc. I know, not what you’d expect; not many quarians get into that kind of work, what with there immune systems and all. Most of em stay out of a fight if possible and failing that they run the hell away.
Heh. Not this biitch.
I tell you, I was pissed as all get out after losing my mark, and then the quarian just looks up at me, winks and says. “Better luck next time Bosh’tet.” Damn near lost it right there chased after her as she ran for the balcony, got hold of her arm just as she reached the door; big mistake on my part.
See most people think that just because of the immune system, quarians can’t fight worth shiit. Most people don’t know that a single well aimed kick can break a man’s ribs like there were made of glass.
She leveled me with this drop kick; knocked me about halfway across the room, broke four of my ribs. ‘Course I pull my pistol ready to continue the fight but she’s nowhere to be found. I figured she was knocked over the railing when she flipped off me. Fell to her death.
“Good riddance.” I thought through my clenched teeth as I took a holo of the mark and dragged myself out of there. I spend about a day longer on Illium, patching myself up. Next thing I know, I’m paying my shuttle fare off world and before I’m even out of the system; Bam! Shuttle’s attacked by the Suns.
Story of my goddamn life.
So they dock with the shuttle, blow out the standard “Try to run and we’ll blow you to bits.” dialogue over the comm. Civilians are panicking, got a baby crying somewhere in the back and my ribs still hurt like hell.
Goddamn batarians.
I draw my rifle and advance to the doorway. As soon as the door opens, two batarians fall over dead. Before they even know what’s going on I’ve boarded their ship and I’m killing mercs left and fight. My loss of the target’s forgotten as I take down one batarian after another. I’m in my element. This is what I live for.
I take a riflebutt to the back. Probably from a rookie, head’s a far better target, still throws my off my rhythm though. Never saw the turian coming. I turn around, Jesse in hand, ready to tear the scales off the bastard, when his brains explode all over me.
Sniper.
As per standard when you’re dealing with an unknown sniper you take immediate cover, keep your head down, and start looking for a shooter. I figure one of the mercs was an incompetent bastard who took out one of his own while trying to get at me. Shot sounded like one of those newer model rifles, m96 maybe a 97 if I was having a bad day, which I was.
Anyway from my cover I see two more mercs looking for me and checking their dead for credits. Scumbags. Back in my day, we buried our dead or sent em to the void with what was theirs. We didn’t take creds off their still smoking corpses. I’m about to raise my rifle out of cover and fire blind at em; draw their attention. When I hear another shot from the sniper. Slug flew through the chest of one merc, right over my arm and ricocheted off the uneven bulkhead to hit the other. Never seen a shot like it before or since. So at this point I know two things, whoever the shooter is isn’t one of the Suns and whoever the hell he is he’s a damn good shot.
I’m just about to pull back out of cover and take my chances when the cold barrel of a gun is pressed against my skull.
It’s Vido all over again.
“Bang!” The shooter shouts, damn near making me jump outta my skin. And then I hear this laugh. Sounded about half mechanical, half feminine with this accent that I’d recognize anywhere. “Just kidding.” I hear her laugh as the barrel moves back.
I was on my feet in seconds; my rifle pointed right between the breasts of that exact same quarian **** who stole my mark. She had what looked like a m90’s series sniper on her shoulders but the model seems a bit different from the ones I’d been hearing about lately. Her face plate was a dark red, matching her hood. And even though I couldn’t see it, I knew that she was smirking at me in that infuriating way that women do.
“You.” I half snarled at her, digging my gun deeper into her chest plate. She was wearing armor, also dark red, beyond a thicker envirosuit and shields you don’t see many quarians in heavy armor. “The hell’re you doing here?”
“Easy big boy.” She winked at me before indicating the sounds of the Suns who were heading our way. “Let’s finish these idiots before we try killing each other.”
And I shiit you not, I took my eye off her for one second to look where she was pointing and the biitch just vanished.
I will say this much though, the woman was a goddamn monster with a rifle. Every kill I made in that fight she matched point of point. I don’t doubt for a minute that if it weren’t for the fact that she had to reload after every shot, she could’ve taken every merc in there and won. Hands down.
We cleared about half the room like that before the ship lurched and groaned.
xxx
What Shepard and the quarian? Damn lucky bastard that guy, even if he don’t know it. Takes a lotta trust for one of them to show their faces to anyone else. Hope to hell he doesn’t screw it up.
Common knowledge that a lot of people in this galaxy don’t think much of the quarians. They label them scavengers and thieves, or prettied up vorcha.
Not me.
Never under stood the racial stigma myself. Yeah, they’re ancestors created the geth. Yeah, the geth attacked Eden Prime or whatever three hundred years after the fact, but it seems stupid to me to punish an entire race for the mistakes of their ancestors.
I for one have nothing but respect for the quarian people as a whole. They’re survivalists and damn good ones too. Sure there’s a scumbag here and there but point me to a race that doesn’t have a few of them.
Actually this takes me back…
Picked up a mission about fifteen-sixteen years back maybe? I’d had jesse for a few years at least and Vido had already left me for dead. Anyway doesn’t matter. Someone wanted this turian merc dead or alive. Something about how he spat in a primarch’s daughter’s face or something I dunno. Guy was offering me double my usual fee if I bring him in alive so they could teach the poor bastard some manners first.
My usual fee is considerable.
So I traced him all over the systems, finally cornered him on Illium. And right as I walked in the room to finish him off, he falls over dead. Knife in the back, and guess who’s holding the hilt?
A quarian merc. I know, not what you’d expect; not many quarians get into that kind of work, what with there immune systems and all. Most of em stay out of a fight if possible and failing that they run the hell away.
Heh. Not this biitch.
I tell you, I was pissed as all get out after losing my mark, and then the quarian just looks up at me, winks and says. “Better luck next time Bosh’tet.” Damn near lost it right there chased after her as she ran for the balcony, got hold of her arm just as she reached the door; big mistake on my part.
See most people think that just because of the immune system, quarians can’t fight worth shiit. Most people don’t know that a single well aimed kick can break a man’s ribs like there were made of glass.
She leveled me with this drop kick; knocked me about halfway across the room, broke four of my ribs. ‘Course I pull my pistol ready to continue the fight but she’s nowhere to be found. I figured she was knocked over the railing when she flipped off me. Fell to her death.
“Good riddance.” I thought through my clenched teeth as I took a holo of the mark and dragged myself out of there. I spend about a day longer on Illium, patching myself up. Next thing I know, I’m paying my shuttle fare off world and before I’m even out of the system; Bam! Shuttle’s attacked by the Suns.
Story of my goddamn life.
So they dock with the shuttle, blow out the standard “Try to run and we’ll blow you to bits.” dialogue over the comm. Civilians are panicking, got a baby crying somewhere in the back and my ribs still hurt like hell.
Goddamn batarians.
I draw my rifle and advance to the doorway. As soon as the door opens, two batarians fall over dead. Before they even know what’s going on I’ve boarded their ship and I’m killing mercs left and fight. My loss of the target’s forgotten as I take down one batarian after another. I’m in my element. This is what I live for.
I take a riflebutt to the back. Probably from a rookie, head’s a far better target, still throws my off my rhythm though. Never saw the turian coming. I turn around, Jesse in hand, ready to tear the scales off the bastard, when his brains explode all over me.
Sniper.
As per standard when you’re dealing with an unknown sniper you take immediate cover, keep your head down, and start looking for a shooter. I figure one of the mercs was an incompetent bastard who took out one of his own while trying to get at me. Shot sounded like one of those newer model rifles, m96 maybe a 97 if I was having a bad day, which I was.
Anyway from my cover I see two more mercs looking for me and checking their dead for credits. Scumbags. Back in my day, we buried our dead or sent em to the void with what was theirs. We didn’t take creds off their still smoking corpses. I’m about to raise my rifle out of cover and fire blind at em; draw their attention. When I hear another shot from the sniper. Slug flew through the chest of one merc, right over my arm and ricocheted off the uneven bulkhead to hit the other. Never seen a shot like it before or since. So at this point I know two things, whoever the shooter is isn’t one of the Suns and whoever the hell he is he’s a damn good shot.
I’m just about to pull back out of cover and take my chances when the cold barrel of a gun is pressed against my skull.
It’s Vido all over again.
“Bang!” The shooter shouts, damn near making me jump outta my skin. And then I hear this laugh. Sounded about half mechanical, half feminine with this accent that I’d recognize anywhere. “Just kidding.” I hear her laugh as the barrel moves back.
I was on my feet in seconds; my rifle pointed right between the breasts of that exact same quarian **** who stole my mark. She had what looked like a m90’s series sniper on her shoulders but the model seems a bit different from the ones I’d been hearing about lately. Her face plate was a dark red, matching her hood. And even though I couldn’t see it, I knew that she was smirking at me in that infuriating way that women do.
“You.” I half snarled at her, digging my gun deeper into her chest plate. She was wearing armor, also dark red, beyond a thicker envirosuit and shields you don’t see many quarians in heavy armor. “The hell’re you doing here?”
“Easy big boy.” She winked at me before indicating the sounds of the Suns who were heading our way. “Let’s finish these idiots before we try killing each other.”
And I shiit you not, I took my eye off her for one second to look where she was pointing and the biitch just vanished.
I will say this much though, the woman was a goddamn monster with a rifle. Every kill I made in that fight she matched point of point. I don’t doubt for a minute that if it weren’t for the fact that she had to reload after every shot, she could’ve taken every merc in there and won. Hands down.
We cleared about half the room like that before the ship lurched and groaned.
Modifié par Kira Shepard, 23 juin 2010 - 07:33 .
#202658
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:29
Azint
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- Members
- 14 520 messages
Two websites I contribute often are TV Tropes and 4chan. Would you prefer I endorse the latter?cannedcream wrote...
Azint wrote...
I know, right?cannedcream wrote...
Just one night were I don't end up on TV Tropes. Just one.
Goddammit, Azint. . .
#202659
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:30
Dark_Helmet
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- Members
- 593 messages
Does anyone else support the idea of a competent villain in ME3?
Because I'd be a little depressed if I was the only one.
Because I'd be a little depressed if I was the only one.
#202660
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:30
Thundertactics
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- 2 176 messages
Dang, almost a hundred pages since my last post, I'm impressed!
#202661
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:30
NuclearBuddha
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- 16 935 messages
Sovereign and Saren were about as competent as I'm comfortable with.Dark_Helmet wrote...
Does anyone else support the idea of a competent villain in ME3?
Because I'd be a little depressed if I was the only one.
#202662
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:30
cannedcream
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- Members
- 9 043 messages
Dark_Helmet wrote...
Don't you know?Azint wrote...
How is Conrad a villain?NuclearBuddha wrote...
I gotta ask, Darth. Why is Udina a villain?
Conrad Verner is the Shadow Broker/TIM/and that douche who took the last muffin all rolled into one!
And he's the Adoring Fan of ME.
That automatically makes him evil.
Well he would be the last person anyone would expect. For anything. Ever.
#202663
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:31
Dark_Helmet
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- Members
- 593 messages
Where's the Volus and the Elcor?Thundertactics wrote...
Dang, almost a hundred pages since my last post, I'm impressed!
#202664
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:31
NuclearBuddha
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- Members
- 16 935 messages
Udina had the right idea RE: Saren and the geth. Send in the fleet.Lividity Jones wrote...
More of an ankle-biter than a real villain.
That oaf just doesn't know when to quit.
He's a jerk, not a bad guy. Hell, he's like the human Zaal'Korris.
#202665
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:31
Azint
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- Members
- 14 520 messages
By the Maker! By the Maker! By the Maker! It's the First Human Spectre, and he's standing right here! Next to me!Dark_Helmet wrote...
Don't you know?Azint wrote...
How is Conrad a villain?NuclearBuddha wrote...
I gotta ask, Darth. Why is Udina a villain?
Conrad Verner is the Shadow Broker/TIM/and that douche who took the last muffin all rolled into one!
And he's the Adoring Fan of ME.
That automatically makes him evil.
Now we must find an appropriate substitue for Dive Rock.
#202666
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:32
NuclearBuddha
-
- Members
- 16 935 messages
Who cares!Dark_Helmet wrote...
*healthy Tali snip*
Where's the Volus and the Elcor?
#202667
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:32
cannedcream
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- Members
- 9 043 messages
Azint wrote...
Two websites I contribute often are TV Tropes and 4chan. Would you prefer I endorse the latter?
. . . Comment begrudgingly retracted.
#202668
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:32
Thundertactics
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- Members
- 2 176 messages
They were grinded down by the Collectors to produce colour for Tali.Dark_Helmet wrote...
Where's the Volus and the Elcor?
#202669
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:32
Azint
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- Members
- 14 520 messages
You mean a villain who succeeds with their plot? I would prefer a victory for ourselves, acutally.Dark_Helmet wrote...
Does anyone else support the idea of a competent villain in ME3?
Because I'd be a little depressed if I was the only one.
#202670
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:32
RedTracer7
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- Members
- 3 847 messages
NuclearBuddha wrote...
Udina had the right idea RE: Saren and the geth. Send in the fleet.Lividity Jones wrote...
More of an ankle-biter than a real villain.
That oaf just doesn't know when to quit.
He's a jerk, not a bad guy. Hell, he's like the human Zaal'Korris.
Thank-you! I swear I debated this veyr issue with someone here, sometime ago.
Woot.
#202671
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:33
cannedcream
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- Members
- 9 043 messages
NuclearBuddha wrote...
Who cares!Dark_Helmet wrote...
*healthy Tali snip*
Where's the Volus and the Elcor?
That is the correct answer to that question.
#202672
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:33
Dark_Helmet
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- Members
- 593 messages
He also made the Reapers.cannedcream wrote...
Dark_Helmet wrote...
Don't you know?Azint wrote...
How is Conrad a villain?NuclearBuddha wrote...
I gotta ask, Darth. Why is Udina a villain?
Conrad Verner is the Shadow Broker/TIM/and that douche who took the last muffin all rolled into one!
And he's the Adoring Fan of ME.
That automatically makes him evil.
Well he would be the last person anyone would expect. For anything. Ever.
*final showdown in ME3*
Shepard: I'm going to stop you who ever the hell you are!
Conrad Verner: Oh but you do know me Shepard. You do know me *spins in chair to face Shepard*
Shepard:...You've got to be f*cking kidding me.
Tali: I for one didn't see this coming.
Liara: *from Illium* Shadowbrokershadowbroker......*thinks for a minute* waaaait...the Shadow Broker is...is.....
OH F*CK NOOOOO!!!!!!!
#202673
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:33
NuclearBuddha
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- 16 935 messages
You only added the last two paragraphs this time, right?Kira Shepard wrote...
#202674
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:34
Kira Shepard
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- Members
- 1 720 messages
added to the opening a little too.NuclearBuddha wrote...
You only added the last two paragraphs this time, right?Kira Shepard wrote...
#202675
Posté 23 juin 2010 - 07:34
NuclearBuddha
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- 16 935 messages
Hey Darth, you know what I support (sometimes)? Competent spelling.
