258292 réponses à ce sujet

[Lividity Jones]

RiptideX1090 wrote...

On the one hand... you don't want to do the same thing Tali had going... it feels like you're copying... on the other hand, there is potential for exposition.

Better idea. Dead parents. Instead, use boyfriend.

Elaboration: Have Xen's parents be dead. A part of her motivation could be to make their memorie's proud. Ancestor Worship, that kind of thing. In their place for expostion, maybe you have another young quarian, a male, who has a thing for Xen, but her being a teenager, she's completely oblivious. It's a non serious thing, they're just kind of like passing friends, which is as good as it gets for Daro. There's some chemistry there, but it's very slight, minute, just beginning to take some form. Daro goes off on Pilgrimage, comes back a broken, insane mess, and she ends up pushing away the one good thing she has left. Again, opposite to Tali, who would wanted to end up with Shepard and ends up coming out to him, Daro ends up pushing that away as a result of trauma. It adds a whole new level of tragedy to the affair.

Just an idea.

Riptide, you're a ****ing genius.

I wouldn't have thought of that.

This guy who has carried a flame for her for as long as he can remember sees her return as this completely different woman. She is cold and distant where she was once only misunderstood and shunned. He expreses concern. She obliterates him.

Painful layers upon layers...

[Lividity Jones]

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Also, Jones, how would you like some custom art for you project? Curteousy of moi?

That... Wow...

I haven't even put anything on the page and you want to do artwork?

I would be ecstatic.

[TTTX]

I have found infomation about Tali.

http://social.biowar...904/polls/7169/

[Thundertactics]

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

On the one hand... you don't want to do the same thing Tali had going... it feels like you're copying... on the other hand, there is potential for exposition.

Better idea. Dead parents. Instead, use boyfriend.

Elaboration: Have Xen's parents be dead. A part of her motivation could be to make their memorie's proud. Ancestor Worship, that kind of thing. In their place for expostion, maybe you have another young quarian, a male, who has a thing for Xen, but her being a teenager, she's completely oblivious. It's a non serious thing, they're just kind of like passing friends, which is as good as it gets for Daro. There's some chemistry there, but it's very slight, minute, just beginning to take some form. Daro goes off on Pilgrimage, comes back a broken, insane mess, and she ends up pushing away the one good thing she has left. Again, opposite to Tali, who would wanted to end up with Shepard and ends up coming out to him, Daro ends up pushing that away as a result of trauma. It adds a whole new level of tragedy to the affair.

Just an idea.

Riptide, you're a ****ing genius.

I wouldn't have thought of that.

This guy who has carried a flame for her for as long as he can remember sees her return as this completely different woman. She is cold and distant where she was once only misunderstood and shunned. He expreses concern. She obliterates him.

Painful layers upon layers...

Screw it, if you manage to implement these ideas properly (and I have no doubt in your ability Liv) this would the the best fanfic I'd ever read.

Xen's theme song:

Riptide's suggested "Becoming Insane" from my earlier "Vicious Delicious" album suggestion.

[Lividity Jones]

Thundertactics wrote...

Screw it, if you manage to implement these ideas properly (and I have no doubt in your ability Liv) this would the the best fanfic I'd ever read.

Xen's theme song:

Riptide's suggested "Becoming Insane" from my earlier "Vicious Delicious" album suggestion.

We even have a theme!

God, I am pumped for this.

[Thelacan]

G'day Tali-thread, Thunder, TTTX, Mr. Jones and Riptide.

[RiptideX1090]

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

On the one hand... you don't want to do the same thing Tali had going... it feels like you're copying... on the other hand, there is potential for exposition.

Better idea. Dead parents. Instead, use boyfriend.

Elaboration: Have Xen's parents be dead. A part of her motivation could be to make their memorie's proud. Ancestor Worship, that kind of thing. In their place for expostion, maybe you have another young quarian, a male, who has a thing for Xen, but her being a teenager, she's completely oblivious. It's a non serious thing, they're just kind of like passing friends, which is as good as it gets for Daro. There's some chemistry there, but it's very slight, minute, just beginning to take some form. Daro goes off on Pilgrimage, comes back a broken, insane mess, and she ends up pushing away the one good thing she has left. Again, opposite to Tali, who would wanted to end up with Shepard and ends up coming out to him, Daro ends up pushing that away as a result of trauma. It adds a whole new level of tragedy to the affair.

Just an idea.

Riptide, you're a ****ing genius.

I wouldn't have thought of that.

This guy who has carried a flame for her for as long as he can remember sees her return as this completely different woman. She is cold and distant where she was once only misunderstood and shunned. He expreses concern. She obliterates him.

Painful layers upon layers...

I try. Normally I wouldn't be doing so well, but having someone to bounce ideas off of does something to really send me off the rails. Ever see House? It's like that. It's one reason I love doing these Round Robins with Buddha and Azint. I constantly get to play off of new information.

And yeah. It's made a million times worse knowing what she could have become if she had been able to open up like Shepard did to Tali, but that betrayal has utterly crushed her. She's alone, in every sense of the word, where before it was the world around her that didn't accept her, now it's she who does not accept the world. If you REALLY wanted to take it up to eleven, you could even have her thinking of said person through the starvation and the beatings, him being the only person she's even remotely close to, and over time, you could slowly tear that down, her insanity and paranoia sending her so far over the edge that she's litterally the one doing it to herself. A lonely mind left to rot, and by the time it's freed, will already be dead. It's cruel, it's horrible, it's terrifying, because it's not just the things around her pulling herself down, it's her too, as a result of how ****ed up the world is. She eventually spreads this ruination to others, and que her possible role in 3 as the one who wants to use Rael's tech. You could do some twisted things with introspection.

[TTTX]

Thelacan wrote...

G'day Tali-thread, Thunder, TTTX, Mr. Jones and Riptide.

Thelacan always a pleasure.

[RiptideX1090]

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Also, Jones, how would you like some custom art for you project? Curteousy of moi?

That... Wow...

I haven't even put anything on the page and you want to do artwork?

I would be ecstatic.

Nothing TOO fancy, but something to set the mood. Don't know how long it would take. I could get something out fast, but the quality would suffer. I could spend a day or two though, and do something with similar quality to my "The Pilgrimage" painting. I'd gladly do it.

[RiptideX1090]

Lividity Jones wrote...

Thundertactics wrote...

Screw it, if you manage to implement these ideas properly (and I have no doubt in your ability Liv) this would the the best fanfic I'd ever read.

Xen's theme song:

Riptide's suggested "Becoming Insane" from my earlier "Vicious Delicious" album suggestion.

We even have a theme!

God, I am pumped for this.

Little hand says it's time to rock and roll.

Bring the noise.

[Thelacan]

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

On the one hand... you don't want to do the same thing Tali had going... it feels like you're copying... on the other hand, there is potential for exposition.

Better idea. Dead parents. Instead, use boyfriend.

Elaboration: Have Xen's parents be dead. A part of her motivation could be to make their memorie's proud. Ancestor Worship, that kind of thing. In their place for expostion, maybe you have another young quarian, a male, who has a thing for Xen, but her being a teenager, she's completely oblivious. It's a non serious thing, they're just kind of like passing friends, which is as good as it gets for Daro. There's some chemistry there, but it's very slight, minute, just beginning to take some form. Daro goes off on Pilgrimage, comes back a broken, insane mess, and she ends up pushing away the one good thing she has left. Again, opposite to Tali, who would wanted to end up with Shepard and ends up coming out to him, Daro ends up pushing that away as a result of trauma. It adds a whole new level of tragedy to the affair.

Just an idea.

Riptide, you're a ****ing genius.

I wouldn't have thought of that.

This guy who has carried a flame for her for as long as he can remember sees her return as this completely different woman. She is cold and distant where she was once only misunderstood and shunned. He expreses concern. She obliterates him.

Painful layers upon layers...

He truly is genious. And her parents being dead is like a solid choice.

But just a few thoughts came to my mind as I checked the last pages. How 'bout having Xen going little bit rebel against her parents? If performing surgery on childhood toys was frowned upon by Tali, how would her parents react?

[Lividity Jones]

RiptideX1090 wrote...

I try. Normally I wouldn't be doing so well, but having someone to bounce ideas off of does something to really send me off the rails. Ever see House? It's like that. It's one reason I love doing these Round Robins with Buddha and Azint. I constantly get to play off of new information.

And yeah. It's made a million times worse knowing what she could have become if she had been able to open up like Shepard did to Tali, but that betrayal has utterly crushed her. She's alone, in every sense of the word, where before it was the world around her that didn't accept her, now it's she who does not accept the world. If you REALLY wanted to take it up to eleven, you could even have her thinking of said person through the starvation and the beatings, him being the only person she's even remotely close to, and over time, you could slowly tear that down, her insanity and paranoia sending her so far over the edge that she's litterally the one doing it to herself. A lonely mind left to rot, and by the time it's freed, will already be dead. It's cruel, it's horrible, it's terrifying, because it's not just the things around her pulling herself down, it's her too, as a result of how ****ed up the world is. She eventually spreads this ruination to others, and que her possible role in 3 as the one who wants to use Rael's tech. You could do some twisted things with introspection.

My God...

I am taking this to eleven. I want to go as far and as deep as I can.

What would do that? What would convince her that the one thing she has been holding on to is lost to her?

[RiptideX1090]

Thelacan wrote...

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

On the one hand... you don't want to do the same thing Tali had going... it feels like you're copying... on the other hand, there is potential for exposition.

Better idea. Dead parents. Instead, use boyfriend.

Elaboration: Have Xen's parents be dead. A part of her motivation could be to make their memorie's proud. Ancestor Worship, that kind of thing. In their place for expostion, maybe you have another young quarian, a male, who has a thing for Xen, but her being a teenager, she's completely oblivious. It's a non serious thing, they're just kind of like passing friends, which is as good as it gets for Daro. There's some chemistry there, but it's very slight, minute, just beginning to take some form. Daro goes off on Pilgrimage, comes back a broken, insane mess, and she ends up pushing away the one good thing she has left. Again, opposite to Tali, who would wanted to end up with Shepard and ends up coming out to him, Daro ends up pushing that away as a result of trauma. It adds a whole new level of tragedy to the affair.

Just an idea.

Riptide, you're a ****ing genius.

I wouldn't have thought of that.

This guy who has carried a flame for her for as long as he can remember sees her return as this completely different woman. She is cold and distant where she was once only misunderstood and shunned. He expreses concern. She obliterates him.

Painful layers upon layers...

He truly is genious. And her parents being dead is like a solid choice.

But just a few thoughts came to my mind as I checked the last pages. How 'bout having Xen going little bit rebel against her parents? If performing surgery on childhood toys was frowned upon by Tali, how would her parents react?

Well, assuming Xen grew up on a lab ship, she may have been trying to emulate her parents to be closer to them. Where other children draw pictures for their parents or make things in arts and crafts, Xen was happily playing with her toys, wanting to be like her mommy amd daddy, wanting to make them proud.

Then they die.

[Thundertactics]

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Well, assuming Xen grew up on a lab ship, she may have been trying to emulate her parents to be closer to them. Where other children draw pictures for their parents or make things in arts and crafts, Xen was happily playing with her toys, wanting to be like her mommy amd daddy, wanting to make them proud.

Then they die.

Damn, this is heavy.
And then Tali goes on scolding her for trying to live up to her parents, doesn't she know what Daro's been through?
Biiiiitch.

Okay, this is scary, I'm starting to like Daro more than Tali...

[Thelacan]

Hm. labship is valid, but I would prefer to see her going rebel against her parents. Maybe her parents were techs, not scientists, and get upset when Daro doesn't take interest in the tech. This would also add to the fact, that she never were in good terms with her parents, having no one she could trust, until the pilgrimage.



And the only one person, she can trust, betrays her.

[TTTX]

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Thelacan wrote...

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

On the one hand... you don't want to do the same thing Tali had going... it feels like you're copying... on the other hand, there is potential for exposition.

Better idea. Dead parents. Instead, use boyfriend.

Elaboration: Have Xen's parents be dead. A part of her motivation could be to make their memorie's proud. Ancestor Worship, that kind of thing. In their place for expostion, maybe you have another young quarian, a male, who has a thing for Xen, but her being a teenager, she's completely oblivious. It's a non serious thing, they're just kind of like passing friends, which is as good as it gets for Daro. There's some chemistry there, but it's very slight, minute, just beginning to take some form. Daro goes off on Pilgrimage, comes back a broken, insane mess, and she ends up pushing away the one good thing she has left. Again, opposite to Tali, who would wanted to end up with Shepard and ends up coming out to him, Daro ends up pushing that away as a result of trauma. It adds a whole new level of tragedy to the affair.

Just an idea.

Riptide, you're a ****ing genius.

I wouldn't have thought of that.

This guy who has carried a flame for her for as long as he can remember sees her return as this completely different woman. She is cold and distant where she was once only misunderstood and shunned. He expreses concern. She obliterates him.

Painful layers upon layers...

He truly is genious. And her parents being dead is like a solid choice.

But just a few thoughts came to my mind as I checked the last pages. How 'bout having Xen going little bit rebel against her parents? If performing surgery on childhood toys was frowned upon by Tali, how would her parents react?

Well, assuming Xen grew up on a lab ship, she may have been trying to emulate her parents to be closer to them. Where other children draw pictures for their parents or make things in arts and crafts, Xen was happily playing with her toys, wanting to be like her mommy amd daddy, wanting to make them proud.

Then they die.

ikke underlidt hun er skør = transladstion: no wonder she's crazy

[RiptideX1090]

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

I try. Normally I wouldn't be doing so well, but having someone to bounce ideas off of does something to really send me off the rails. Ever see House? It's like that. It's one reason I love doing these Round Robins with Buddha and Azint. I constantly get to play off of new information.

And yeah. It's made a million times worse knowing what she could have become if she had been able to open up like Shepard did to Tali, but that betrayal has utterly crushed her. She's alone, in every sense of the word, where before it was the world around her that didn't accept her, now it's she who does not accept the world. If you REALLY wanted to take it up to eleven, you could even have her thinking of said person through the starvation and the beatings, him being the only person she's even remotely close to, and over time, you could slowly tear that down, her insanity and paranoia sending her so far over the edge that she's litterally the one doing it to herself. A lonely mind left to rot, and by the time it's freed, will already be dead. It's cruel, it's horrible, it's terrifying, because it's not just the things around her pulling herself down, it's her too, as a result of how ****ed up the world is. She eventually spreads this ruination to others, and que her possible role in 3 as the one who wants to use Rael's tech. You could do some twisted things with introspection.

My God...

I am taking this to eleven. I want to go as far and as deep as I can.

What would do that? What would convince her that the one thing she has been holding on to is lost to her?

Several options.

One, a sense of abandonment. The more time her torture goes on, and her one bright light at the end of the tunnel never arrives, maybe she'll feel like he's given up on her, like everyone else has, that he never cared at all, just like the rest of her people. Her relationship is very fragile, compounded by her unstable personality.

Another way of doing it would be self doubt. Months of torture, of being degraded, of people beating you and telling you you're nothing, maybe it's insecurity. Maybe she feels like she can't be good enough for him, or for anyone, as she's been pushed to the side her whole life, and that trying will only get her hurt again, like how she got into this mess. She pushes him away because she isn't just scared of him hurting her, she's scared of her hurting him. She doesn't want to hurt someone else the way she's been hurt. Paranoia will do that to you.

[Thelacan]

Thundertactics wrote...
*snip*

Okay, this is scary, I'm starting to like Daro more than Tali...

Even Rip isn't that perverted.

[Lividity Jones]

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Also, Jones, how would you like some custom art for you project? Curteousy of moi?

That... Wow...

I haven't even put anything on the page and you want to do artwork?

I would be ecstatic.

Nothing TOO fancy, but something to set the mood. Don't know how long it would take. I could get something out fast, but the quality would suffer. I could spend a day or two though, and do something with similar quality to my "The Pilgrimage" painting. I'd gladly do it.

Honestly, if anything we have done has inspired you, I say go for it.

You are the artist. Take whatever time and detail you feel is necessary.

[RiptideX1090]

Thelacan wrote...

Hm. labship is valid, but I would prefer to see her going rebel against her parents. Maybe her parents were techs, not scientists, and get upset when Daro doesn't take interest in the tech. This would also add to the fact, that she never were in good terms with her parents, having no one she could trust, until the pilgrimage.

And the only one person, she can trust, betrays her.

Better off with having wanting to be like her parents, with her caring about them, them being the only thing she cares about, and losing them. Her obsessive, though innocent, desire to be loved and respected by her parents transfers into her wanting to be loved in respected by anyone, someone, and with them gone, she strives for that on pilgrimage, until she gets broken, where it really goes off on a tangeant, and she becomes obssessed with trying to make her entire species love her by raining vengeance down on their enemies and reclaiming the homeworld.

[Lividity Jones]

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Several options.

One, a sense of abandonment. The more time her torture goes on, and her one bright light at the end of the tunnel never arrives, maybe she'll feel like he's given up on her, like everyone else has, that he never cared at all, just like the rest of her people. Her relationship is very fragile, compounded by her unstable personality.

Another way of doing it would be self doubt. Months of torture, of being degraded, of people beating you and telling you you're nothing, maybe it's insecurity. Maybe she feels like she can't be good enough for him, or for anyone, as she's been pushed to the side her whole life, and that trying will only get her hurt again, like how she got into this mess. She pushes him away because she isn't just scared of him hurting her, she's scared of her hurting him. She doesn't want to hurt someone else the way she's been hurt. Paranoia will do that to you.

Something about that second option... It's so sad.

It's the worst kind of madness, eating away at your soul.

This is incredible.

If I can get a tenth of this through to the audience on the page, I will be the happiest man alive.

[RiptideX1090]

Thelacan wrote...

Thundertactics wrote...
*snip*

Okay, this is scary, I'm starting to like Daro more than Tali...

Even Rip isn't that perverted.

I can't has both?

[RiptideX1090]

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Several options.

One, a sense of abandonment. The more time her torture goes on, and her one bright light at the end of the tunnel never arrives, maybe she'll feel like he's given up on her, like everyone else has, that he never cared at all, just like the rest of her people. Her relationship is very fragile, compounded by her unstable personality.

Another way of doing it would be self doubt. Months of torture, of being degraded, of people beating you and telling you you're nothing, maybe it's insecurity. Maybe she feels like she can't be good enough for him, or for anyone, as she's been pushed to the side her whole life, and that trying will only get her hurt again, like how she got into this mess. She pushes him away because she isn't just scared of him hurting her, she's scared of her hurting him. She doesn't want to hurt someone else the way she's been hurt. Paranoia will do that to you.

Something about that second option... It's so sad.

It's the worst kind of madness, eating away at your soul.

This is incredible.

If I can get a tenth of this through to the audience on the page, I will be the happiest man alive.

Oh, you will. I'm making sure of it.

[Thelacan]

RiptideX1090 wrote...


Better off with having wanting to be like her parents, with her caring about them, them being the only thing she cares about, and losing them. Her obsessive, though innocent, desire to be loved and respected by her parents transfers into her wanting to be loved in respected by anyone, someone, and with them gone, she strives for that on pilgrimage, until she gets broken, where it really goes off on a tangeant, and she becomes obssessed with trying to make her entire species love her by raining vengeance down on their enemies and reclaiming the homeworld.

Ah, good point. My idea would have propably just driven her to suicidal revenge.
I feel like a lesser mind caught in the wind from the brainstorming, of two Greater minds.

[TTTX]

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Thelacan wrote...

Thundertactics wrote...
*snip*

Okay, this is scary, I'm starting to like Daro more than Tali...

Even Rip isn't that perverted.

I can't have both?

Tali would be jelasus and does not like to share.

fixed