258292 réponses à ce sujet

[RobotNixon]

RedTracer7 wrote...

Runescapeguy9 wrote...

Just_mike wrote...

Tali?

There's a reason this isn't in my album...
Can't quite remember it...

Grey Hair + Taunt Cheeks = She looks too old.

Runescapeguy using a hint of sarcasm?

[solazz]

NCLanceman wrote...
Awww. I get here just in time to see it's apparently been a bad night. I suppose I can try turning things around by telling a joke i've wanted to get off my chest, by way of shortfic. Before I start, I just want to tell you the moral of the story: War Hero Shepard's have just as traumatic a military service as everyone else.
*ficsnip*

:lol:
I just finished replaying ME1 a couple days ago, too, making it just a bit funnier.

[cannedcream]

NuclearBuddha wrote...

cannedcream wrote...
Shepard is in some hardcore denial. Can't say that I blame him.

They always deny it up until the unspeakable evidence that finally drives them mad.  That's just the way it goes.

Wouldn't you?
Shepard is about to witness something that should defy the very nature of the universe. Can't say I'd fare much better.

[RiptideX1090]

Runescapeguy9 wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Buddha. Cream. Everyone. Thanks for your patience and support. Jones and I are reaching consensus, and you all have been great. Thank you for your time and for putting up with us. I apologize again, I don't make a habit of doing this sort of thing.

I never understood what you asked for. The approval to continue?
If so, you've got mine.

That...

General opinion. Advice from other authors. We just wanted some opinions on it is all.

[Homebound]

cannedcream wrote...

NuclearBuddha wrote...
Teaser:

When morning forced night into temporary retreat there was no sign of whatever lurking presence had haunted the hallway outside my door. In fact, the wan sunlight illuminated only a greater degree of squalor than was revealed the night previous by Lt. Alenko’s lamp. Though I had not noticed it before retiring, the floorboards were strown with fragments of soil , doubtless signifying the absence of adequate cleaning staff. The soil seemed rather more moist than it should have been, had it been tracked in by our shoes, nor was it arranged in any manner suggestive of footprints. The only order to be discerned in its scatter was a perhaps-imagined trail of shuddersome sinuousness traced through it. In any event, it must have come from our party, for the bits of soil were only left as far down the corridor as my door.

Thank you, Nuke. <3

Shepard is in some hardcore denial. Can't say that I blame him.

Holy crap Im not sure if you did it on purpose but the last part was creepy as hell.

[NuclearBuddha]

Just_mike wrote...
thats pretty intense actually, if your eyes are quick enough, you notice the Japanese guy with his arm behind his back and a gun to his head..

Sigh.

[RedTracer7]

Just_mike wrote...


thats pretty intense actually, if your eyes are quick enough, you notice the Japanese guy with his arm behind his back and a gun to his head..

He was a suspected North Vietnamese.  Street Justice.

Modifié par RedTracer7, 28 juin 2010 - 06:55 .

[RiptideX1090]

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Buddha. Cream. Everyone. Thanks for your patience and support. Jones and I are reaching consensus, and you all have been great. Thank you for your time and for putting up with us. I apologize again, I don't make a habit of doing this sort of thing.

Agreed.

Thank you, really.

It's easy to lose sight of your goal. You put so much of yourself into one thing and you start to question why you're doing it.

I can't thank you guys enough for the support.

Well said.

We really do appreciate it.

[Homebound]

cannedcream wrote...

NuclearBuddha wrote...

cannedcream wrote...
Shepard is in some hardcore denial. Can't say that I blame him.

They always deny it up until the unspeakable evidence that finally drives them mad.  That's just the way it goes.

Wouldn't you?
Shepard is about to witness something that should defy the very nature of the universe. Can't say I'd fare much better.

I think I could take it. Just give me a swiss army Wrench, a stransmogrifier and a copy of the king in yellow.

[RobotNixon]

RedTracer7 wrote...

Just_mike wrote...


thats pretty intense actually, if your eyes are quick enough, you notice the Japanese guy with his arm behind his back and a gun to his head..

He was a suspected North Vietnamese SPY.  Street Justice.

It was justified homicide.

Even the UN agreed.

Modifié par RobotNixon, 28 juin 2010 - 06:56 .

[Homebound]

NuclearBuddha wrote...

Just_mike wrote...
thats pretty intense actually, if your eyes are quick enough, you notice the Japanese guy with his arm behind his back and a gun to his head..

Sigh.

For some reason I got the impression that the images were WW2.

[cannedcream]

Lividity Jones wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...

Buddha. Cream. Everyone. Thanks for your patience and support. Jones and I are reaching consensus, and you all have been great. Thank you for your time and for putting up with us. I apologize again, I don't make a habit of doing this sort of thing.

Agreed.

Thank you, really.

It's easy to lose sight of your goal. You put so much of yourself into one thing and you start to question why you're doing it.

I can't thank you guys enough for the support.

Hey, we all need a little encouragement every now and again. Luckily you guys have us to give it.
We're all pretty much awesome. All the time.

[RedTracer7]

RobotNixon wrote...

RedTracer7 wrote...

Just_mike wrote...


thats pretty intense actually, if your eyes are quick enough, you notice the Japanese guy with his arm behind his back and a gun to his head..

He was a suspected North Vietnamese SPY.  Street Justice.

It was justified homicide.

Even the UN agreed.

It's war.  **** happens.

[NuclearBuddha]

RiptideX1090 wrote...
General opinion. Advice from other authors. We just wanted some opinions on it is all.

You've got a verb-tense disagreement in the bottom quarter of Ch1.  In general, I'm interested for more.  I will note that the prevalence of bitch and whore will tend to devalue those words, forcing escalation that might not serve as well as moderation.

However!  Ch2 was nicely paced in that there was actually a moment of kindness to break the monotony of mistreatment.

[RobotNixon]

Runescapeguy, your writing is magnificent.

No lie. It's a shame you feel that way, but I'm not sure why you would.

Modifié par RobotNixon, 28 juin 2010 - 06:58 .

[NuclearBuddha]

RobotNixon wrote...

RedTracer7 wrote...
He was a suspected North Vietnamese SPY.  Street Justice.

It was justified homicide.

Even the UN agreed.

The guy holding the gun died in America.  He owned a pizza parlor or something.  The photographer never intended the picture to vilify him.

[khevan]

Hey Rip...

I read thru both chapters, and I have to say that I really enjoyed them both.  If it were up to me, I'd really like for you both to continue the story.

It's still early enough in the story that it's hard to say anything about how it affected her, and made her into what she is now, so I'd really like to see more of her story.

[Homebound]

The sad part is, I picked the Cain for this mission and only had 80% by the time I got to the core.

[RobotNixon]

Runescapeguy9 wrote...

RobotNixon wrote...

Runescapeguy, your writing is magnificent.

No lie. It's a shame you feel that way, but I'm not sure why you would.

You've never even seen it...

You underestimate my ability to lurk.

I caught it just before you took it down, I even commented on how I liked it and why you should continue.

[Homebound]

Runescapeguy9 wrote...

RobotNixon wrote...
Runescapeguy using a hint of sarcasm?

No...I really can't remember why I didn't add it...

That...
General opinion. Advice from other authors. We just wanted some opinions on it is all.

Well, I'd help but my writing is complete trash. You've got my support.

Can I see ur writing plox?

[RobotNixon]

NuclearBuddha wrote...

RobotNixon wrote...

RedTracer7 wrote...
He was a suspected North Vietnamese SPY.  Street Justice.

It was justified homicide.

Even the UN agreed.

The guy holding the gun died in America.  He owned a pizza parlor or something.
The photographer never intended the picture to vilify him.

That man is a damn hero in my book.

[RiptideX1090]

NuclearBuddha wrote...

RiptideX1090 wrote...
General opinion. Advice from other authors. We just wanted some opinions on it is all.

You've got a verb-tense disagreement in the bottom quarter of Ch1.  In general, I'm interested for more.  I will note that the prevalence of bitch and whore will tend to devalue those words, forcing escalation that might not serve as well as moderation.

However!  Ch2 was nicely paced in that there was actually a moment of kindness to break the monotony of mistreatment.

Setting the mood. Making it clear people don't really view her as a person. Important for later.

Indeed. Transition. Flowing from one end of the spectrum to another. Dichotomy. Allows for contrast later.

Thanks for the heads up about Chapter 1.