I suppose Im just too innocent at heart having trouble comming up with a situation that would lend itself to the emotional scarring you both are implying without killing or very nearly killing her. Ah, there is the rubRiptideX1090 wrote...
nickFury wrote...
of course how can it be, we know she has to survive, so it cant be qite drifting bad. She could get close to someone and something equally as bad happens in front of her or something along those lines I suppose.RiptideX1090 wrote...
nickFury wrote...
you guys are hyping up the darkness too much if you keep it up it may not have the impact you think it will.Lividity Jones wrote...
RiptideX1090 wrote...
For now...
I'm worried about later. I KNOW it's going to get ripped to shreds at some point...
Yeah...
We aren't going to very popular by the time this is over.
We just want to be prepared, and for others to be as well. That's all.
You really don't have an inkling...
*sigh*
The Official Migrant Fleet of Tali'Zorah fans
#211726
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:25
#211727
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:25
#211728
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:25
Thundertactics wrote...
Ouch, this may end up being the truth, the only reason Drifting had such an impact on me was because it was so unexpected, with a proper build-up in-story. By now, I've imagined every conceivable horror Daro could endure while still ending up becoming a living, breathing, and intelligent admiral. The onl thing that could put me off are some damn good OCs. Regardless, you're writing a high-grade fanfic on my #2 favorite ME character, so I love it. (Also,writing all this on my cellphone makes my thumb hurtnickFury wrote...
you guys are hyping up the darkness too much if you keep it up it may not have the impact you think it will.)
Even if people get the general idea of it, we've added enough twists and such that there will still be impact.
We don't care if people feel bad about what happens to her, much as we worry about it. All we care about is if people feel something as to WHY it's happening to her. THATS where the emotion comes into play.
It's just that what happens is so unpleasant... we worry a bit. That's all.
#211729
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:27
#211730
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:29
Runescapeguy9 wrote...
RiptideX1090 wrote...
I do believe that one was part of a much larger series though. Did you save all of them?I did.I wouldn't mind hacking into that suit.
Lol...
*Tali is clicking away at her console in Engineering, alone. Suddenly, with a yelp, she jumps into the air.*
Tali: What the!?
*Tali checks her waist line for a faulty wire in her suit, finding none, she turns to go back to work, suddenly she jumps again, this time falling back onto the floor, flailing around as her body convulses with pleasure. Working desperately on her omni tool between panting, Tali runs a self diagnostic on her suit, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with it*
-elsewhere-
EDI: Shepard, The Reaper Black Box Viruses' were not designed to be used in this manner.
Shepard: Yeah, yeah, quiet down EDI. *stares at monitor showing engineering*
EDI: I don't think the Illusive Man had hacking into Chief Zorah's nerve stimulators in mind when designing the Normandy's cyberwarfare suites.
Shepard: The Illusive Man never got pounced by a quarian who proceeded to shatter his pelvis over the course of several hours...
EDI: You know she's going to get you back for this, right?
Shepard: It'll be so worth it.
I can't believe you saved them all.
LOL.
#211731
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:29
Lividity Jones wrote...
Someone With Mass wrote...
Zed is dead, baby. Zed is dead.
Tali: Who's ship is this?
Shepard: It's a cruiser, baby.
Admiral Hackett: When we were captured by the batarians, they'd take away anything we had. Then your father remember his omni-tool that was passed on to him by his father, which was passed on by his grandfather. And he thought that this was your birthright, and he wasn't going to let some slimy blinks get a hold of it. He figured the only place he could hide it, was his ass. For three years he had that thing up his ass. Every day. Up his ass. Then he died of all the torture, but before that, he passed it on to me. I sat with this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for two more years, until we were rescued. And now it's yours.
*Twenty years later*
Shepard: Where is it?!
Tali: Where's what, honey?
Shepard: My father's omni-tool! I can't leave without it!
Tali: I don't remember anything about a omni-tool that wasn't mine.
Shepard: Of course you wouldn't, I never told you about it.
Tali: Oh, wait. Now I remember. There's one in the slot in your hardsuit.
Shepard: Yes! Thank you so much, darling. I don't know what I could've done without you.
I like my version better than the movie's. And mostly because I don't remember so much about that particular scene.
Modifié par Someone With Mass, 29 juin 2010 - 10:32 .
#211732
Guest_Runescapeguy9_*
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:30
Guest_Runescapeguy9_*
I save nearly every post from here and tzf.RiptideX1090 wrote...
I can't believe you saved them all.
LOL.
#211733
Guest_michaelrsa_*
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:30
Guest_michaelrsa_*
Legion stood in the AI Core, running simulations and exchanging data
with EDI at pace that would require an organic to speak at a rate
several thousand magnitudes greater than their hardware could perform.
As fellow AI, EDI and Legion were the only ones who truly understood
each other. Among the organic crew the only individual who attempted to
have the same understanding was Commander Shepard, who would frequently
converse with the mobile platform.
Interrupting this moment
was the sudden arrival of the Commander, shifting the priority of
several hundred run-times to detection and analysis of organic audio and
physical communication. "Greetings, Shepard-Commander," said Legion.
"We assume that the recovery efforts of the SR-1 were satisfactory."
Several run-times took note that the Commander's hands were behind his
back, along with his shift in posture, it suggested he was hiding
something behind him.
"Yes, they were, I managed to recover
several dog tags as well as my old N7 helmet and parts of the suit." He
stated while looking over the relic soldered onto Legion's torso. The
mention of said helmet and fragments returned an unexpected and
incomprehensible stream of data from one of the platform's programs.
Ignoring this data, Legion began focusing on the next and entirely
unexpected part of Shepard's dialogue. "Have you ever heard of the
Wizard of Oz, Legion?" This question generated a tremendous amount of
activity between the platform's most advanced programs designed for
organic communication. Realizing they had no record of such a thing the
query was passed onto EDI who provided the relevant data.
"No," replied Legion. "We pasted the query onto EDI, but we have no
prior knowledge of it." Shifting his weight slightly John began to delve
into the story. "The Wizard of Oz is the story of a young girl who is
transported to the land of Oz when her house is carried away by a
tornado." The platform ignored the logical fallacies of the story
knowing that they were common throughout all organic tales.
"Along the way this girl, Dorothy, meets a cowardly Lion, a brainless
scarecrow and a tin man looking for a heart." Legion took note of the
emphasize on the man of tin and archived the data as Shepard continued.
"Anyway, these three characters all accompany Dorothy on her journey to
the wizard of Oz to ask for the quality they lack."
"After
defeating a wicked witch and returning to the wizard it is revealed that
he is not a wizard at all, but simply a very clever inventor." This
story was beginning to tax the geth's hardware, they were having a very
difficult time understanding why the Commander was telling them this.
"The wizard then revealed that each of the three had the qualities they
were searching for all along. They had all used the trait they thought
they lacked in helping Dorothy to get back home."
"To remind
them of this the wizard gave the lion a medal of courage, the scarecrow
a brain made of bran, pins and needles and the tin man was given a
heart." At which point the object behind Shepard's back was revealed to
be a small, red, heart shaped object cut from a hard suit. "I cut this
from a section of my shoulder plate I recovered. I want you to have it
Legion. You might not have been searching for a heart like the tin man
was but you proved beyond a doubt that you care about us." he said. "You
could have left us all to die in the collector base when you were in
the tubes, but you came through for us."
Legion stood quiet,
all run-times trying to come to a consensus on what to do when from
within the very depth of their code an order was given that overrode all
others. "Thank you, Shepard-Commander." they said, all in perfect
unison. Just then, Tali came in over Shepard's personal radio requesting
him to come to bed. Realizing how tired he really was, the commander
finished by thanking Legion again and giving him a quick goodbye.
As the door to the AI room closed behind him, John could swear he heard
the sound of a blowtorch.
#211734
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:32
Runescapeguy9 wrote...
I save nearly every post from here and tzf.RiptideX1090 wrote...
I can't believe you saved them all.
LOL.
That's kind of creepy...
You even have the ones about Xen?
#211735
Guest_Runescapeguy9_*
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:33
Guest_Runescapeguy9_*
I said nearly. Not all.RiptideX1090 wrote...
That's kind of creepy...
You even have the ones about Xen?
#211736
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:34
Runescapeguy9 wrote...
I save nearly every post from here and tzf.RiptideX1090 wrote...
I can't believe you saved them all.
LOL.
Ya, but you're mentally ill.
#211737
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:34
Runescapeguy9 wrote...
I said nearly. Not all.RiptideX1090 wrote...
That's kind of creepy...
You even have the ones about Xen?
Right.
Close enough.
#211738
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:34
So basically, the general idea is to make people understand (not necessarily forgive) Xen and give her a dark past, and give the faint of heart a fair warning ahead? (Darkness for the sake of progression, not as the main "theme" of story)RiptideX1090 wrote...
#211739
Guest_Runescapeguy9_*
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:35
Guest_Runescapeguy9_*
Not sure where you got this from. I'll take it into consideration.epoch_ wrote...
Ya, but you're mentally ill.
#211740
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:35
that's a very good story.michaelrsa wrote...
Hey guys, I just wrote this quick fanfic about Legion and Shep. It's got a little Tali/Shep at the end but mostly just a daw converstion between Legion and Shep. I'll probably also post it again when Kiki gets on.
Legion stood in the AI Core, running simulations and exchanging data
with EDI at pace that would require an organic to speak at a rate
several thousand magnitudes greater than their hardware could perform.
As fellow AI, EDI and Legion were the only ones who truly understood
each other. Among the organic crew the only individual who attempted to
have the same understanding was Commander Shepard, who would frequently
converse with the mobile platform.
Interrupting this moment
was the sudden arrival of the Commander, shifting the priority of
several hundred run-times to detection and analysis of organic audio and
physical communication. "Greetings, Shepard-Commander," said Legion.
"We assume that the recovery efforts of the SR-1 were satisfactory."
Several run-times took note that the Commander's hands were behind his
back, along with his shift in posture, it suggested he was hiding
something behind him.
"Yes, they were, I managed to recover
several dog tags as well as my old N7 helmet and parts of the suit." He
stated while looking over the relic soldered onto Legion's torso. The
mention of said helmet and fragments returned an unexpected and
incomprehensible stream of data from one of the platform's programs.
Ignoring this data, Legion began focusing on the next and entirely
unexpected part of Shepard's dialogue. "Have you ever heard of the
Wizard of Oz, Legion?" This question generated a tremendous amount of
activity between the platform's most advanced programs designed for
organic communication. Realizing they had no record of such a thing the
query was passed onto EDI who provided the relevant data.
"No," replied Legion. "We pasted the query onto EDI, but we have no
prior knowledge of it." Shifting his weight slightly John began to delve
into the story. "The Wizard of Oz is the story of a young girl who is
transported to the land of Oz when her house is carried away by a
tornado." The platform ignored the logical fallacies of the story
knowing that they were common throughout all organic tales.
"Along the way this girl, Dorothy, meets a cowardly Lion, a brainless
scarecrow and a tin man looking for a heart." Legion took note of the
emphasize on the man of tin and archived the data as Shepard continued.
"Anyway, these three characters all accompany Dorothy on her journey to
the wizard of Oz to ask for the quality they lack."
"After
defeating a wicked witch and returning to the wizard it is revealed that
he is not a wizard at all, but simply a very clever inventor." This
story was beginning to tax the geth's hardware, they were having a very
difficult time understanding why the Commander was telling them this.
"The wizard then revealed that each of the three had the qualities they
were searching for all along. They had all used the trait they thought
they lacked in helping Dorothy to get back home."
"To remind
them of this the wizard gave the lion a medal of courage, the scarecrow
a brain made of bran, pins and needles and the tin man was given a
heart." At which point the object behind Shepard's back was revealed to
be a small, red, heart shaped object cut from a hard suit. "I cut this
from a section of my shoulder plate I recovered. I want you to have it
Legion. You might not have been searching for a heart like the tin man
was but you proved beyond a doubt that you care about us." he said. "You
could have left us all to die in the collector base when you were in
the tubes, but you came through for us."
Legion stood quiet,
all run-times trying to come to a consensus on what to do when from
within the very depth of their code an order was given that overrode all
others. "Thank you, Shepard-Commander." they said, all in perfect
unison. Just then, Tali came in over Shepard's personal radio requesting
him to come to bed. Realizing how tired he really was, the commander
finished by thanking Legion again and giving him a quick goodbye.
As the door to the AI room closed behind him, John could swear he heard
the sound of a blowtorch.
Kikia will like it with out of doubt.
#211741
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:36
#211742
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:37
Runescapeguy9 wrote...
Not sure where you got this from. I'll take it into consideration.epoch_ wrote...
Ya, but you're mentally ill.
Did you just try to deny that you have a condition?
#211743
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:37
QFTmichaelrsa wrote...
*snip*
You might not have been searching for a heart like the tin man
was but you proved beyond a doubt that you care about us." he said. "You
could have left us all to die in the collector base when you were in
the tubes, but you came through for us."
Legion stood quiet,
all run-times trying to come to a consensus on what to do when from
within the very depth of their code an order was given that overrode all
others. "Thank you, Shepard-Commander." they said, all in perfect
unison. Just then, Tali came in over Shepard's personal radio requesting
him to come to bed. Realizing how tired he really was, the commander
finished by thanking Legion again and giving him a quick goodbye.
As the door to the AI room closed behind him, John could swear he heard
the sound of a blowtorch.[/i]
#211744
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:38
Thundertactics wrote...
So basically, the general idea is to make people understand (not necessarily forgive) Xen and give her a dark past, and give the faint of heart a fair warning ahead? (Darkness for the sake of progression, not as the main "theme" of story)
In a way.
We aren't trying to convince anyone that Xen's ideas are right, we're just trying to point out that she is doing it for the right reasons.
Han'Gerrel says that she is very passionate about defending the Fleet and her people. We are just exploring that and her extreme views.
She's Renegade turned up to eleven.
Modifié par Lividity Jones, 29 juin 2010 - 10:38 .
#211745
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:38
creepy is the word I feel a chil comming down my spineRiptideX1090 wrote...
Runescapeguy9 wrote...
I save nearly every post from here and tzf.RiptideX1090 wrote...
I can't believe you saved them all.
LOL.
That's kind of creepy...
You even have the ones about Xen?
#211746
Guest_Runescapeguy9_*
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:38
Guest_Runescapeguy9_*
No. Didn't confirm it either. This isn't about Tali, please return the topic.epoch_ wrote...
Did you just try to deny that you have a condition?
#211747
Guest_michaelrsa_*
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:40
Guest_michaelrsa_*
RiptideX1090 wrote...
DAMN Michael... that was bloody brilliant.
Coming from you that means a lot. I also put up a snippet of one I previously worked on a day ago that was about the quarians, the environmental damage they, just like any other species caused to their world, the geth rebellion and the geth's role as care takers.
Do you want to see it?
#211748
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:40
#211749
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:40
Thundertactics wrote...
So basically, the general idea is to make people understand (not necessarily forgive) Xen and give her a dark past, and give the faint of heart a fair warning ahead? (Darkness for the sake of progression, not as the main "theme" of story)RiptideX1090 wrote...
Sort of...
We want people to realize that Xen was at some point, not such a terrible person. A loner, maybe, but she loved her parents, and she was loyal to the people she did care about, and she has ALWAYS loved her people and wants them to be safe, regardless of how the general quarian treated her in her youth. Then some things happen, bad things, HORRIBLE things. We wanted to make what happens to her horrific, but that's just a plot device. It's WHY it's happening, and what it DOES to her head and her heart that matter, and how it turns her into a monster.
Our goal is, if you have to shoot Xen in 3, you'll do it, because it's the right thing to do, but after reading our story, you'll understand why she did it, understand why she NEEDED to do it, and you'll look down at ther broken mask with a bullet smoldering inside, and you'll regret that it had to end this way for her.
THATS what we're trying to do.
#211750
Posté 29 juin 2010 - 10:41
michaelrsa wrote...
*Legion Fic Snip*
Nice one!




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