The Grand Galactic Inquisitor's visit continues.
***
The Grand Galactic Inquisitor, forced to bend halfway over to fit through the narrow corridors of the Normandy's flight section, twisted his head left and right. "This is a nice ship." He shoved his finger at Shepard's face. "Do not reply to me!"
Shepard slapped the Inquistor's hand away. "If you're going to stay on my ship while we find out where you're supposed to be, you have to follow my orders. And my first order is that you quit violating my personal space."
"Pretend I am not doing that! Pretend I am not here!"
Joker whistled from the cockpit, turning about in his chair. "Oh, boy, Commander, he's a beaut. Is this our special friend?"
Shepard rested his fists on his hips. Suddenly he felt very tired right now. "It's only temporary. After we find where he's supposed to go, we can get on with the mission."
"Fair enough," Joker said. "But, ah, do you know his final resting place, great leader?"
Smartass. But Joker was right - Shepard hadn't remembered to ask. "Where do you need to go?" Shepard asked the Inquisitor.
"The Grand Galactic Inquisitor goes everywhere!" the Inquisitor said. "Does everything! He knows all that transpires!"
"So he doesn't know anything useful at all," Joker said. "Hey, EDI, I think we finally found you a date."
A blue, holographic orb floating atop a stalk manifested on Joker's left console. "AIs do not go on dates, Mr. Moreau."
"You're right. I'd rather date my hand than the computer I use it with."
Taking the Inquisitor to engineering via the elevator was irritating. The Inquisitor's obnoxiously huge body towered over him, like he was a fishing line waiting to pluck Shepard up. Even when they reached their destination, the Inquisitor was forced to duck low until they moved past Tali's workstation to the Normandy's core. Now the Inquisitor could stand at his full height on the balcony, and he began studying the core, his eye light sweeping over its surface.
"Now," Shepard said, "Stay here and don't go anywhere. If you need anything, call for Tali. She's down the walkway."
"I require nothing!" the Inquisitor said. "Ignore my needs!"
Good enough. Shepard turned and began walking away.
"Wait." Shepard turned around. "Do you have a glass of water? Do not filter it!"
Shepard could feel his brow avalanching into cold rage. "What else? This is the only time I'm getting you anything."
"Do not get me anything!" the Inquisitor said, brandishing his strange hand. "Forget my previous request for it will interfere with my observation! I forgot to mention that." His eye light changed color again to green. "Forget I said anything!"
Shepard turned around and stormed away from the core, ignoring Tali's concerned look. Please, God, just help him drop this idiot off somewhere so he can get on with his life...
---
Entering his cabin, Shepard sighed and slid into his chair. This "guest" was unbearable. He'd better not cause any trouble, or-
Shepard's terminal beeped, indicating a new message. Shepard tapped a button to bring it up. It read:
Subject: Do not reply to this message!
Body: I am judging your private messaging system. Pretend you have never gotten this message!
P.S.. I would like a blanket. It is very cold in here.
P.P.S. Do not give me one! Ignore me!
Shepard looked at his hand and imagining his fingers squeezing a space hamster until it popped.
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