171 réponses à ce sujet

[cmessaz]

Sarah1281 wrote...

cmessaz wrote...

LMAO I think this is now the most educational thread in this forum! So perhaps Eamon truly can't count.

I blame residual effects of the poison. He seems to be under the impressio that a mabari is less loyal than everyone else in your party, after all despite the fact that you have an Orlesian and an assassin following you around, to say nothing of the others.

That was freaking funny! "Um, your dog can't decide the fate of Ferelden."

[Sarah1281]

cmessaz wrote...

Sarah1281 wrote...

cmessaz wrote...

LMAO I think this is now the most educational thread in this forum! So perhaps Eamon truly can't count.

I blame residual effects of the poison. He seems to be under the impressio that a mabari is less loyal than everyone else in your party, after all despite the fact that you have an Orlesian and an assassin following you around, to say nothing of the others.

That was freaking funny! "Um, your dog can't decide the fate of Ferelden."

"Your talking statue, on the other hand, is perfectly qualified!"

[KnightofPhoenix]

Sergeant Krylo (that was his name?) has a genuis level intellect.

Mercenary bands with stupid names will never be intimidating.

Saying "sorry about the mess" to an inn keeper is all he needs to forget about the pile of corpses you just left behind.

Apparently, only the "evil" Tevinter Imperium managed to be civilised in that screwed up continent.

I am convinced that the lady of the forest was able to tame werelwoves because no matter what you do to a man and whatever curse you throw at him, he will always be **** whiped.

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 14 avril 2010 - 03:24 .

[cmessaz]

Lol, I REALLY hate Arl Eamon.

Knight: LMAO I love how you spread cheer all over the forum! Seriously! Keep it up.

Modifié par cmessaz, 14 avril 2010 - 03:25 .

[Thalorin1919]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Sergeant Krylo (that was his name?) has a genuis level intellect.

Mercenary bands with stupid names will never be intimidating.

Saying "sorry about the mess" to an inn keeper is all he needs to forget about the pile of corpses you just left behind.

Apparently, only the "evil" Tevinter Imperium managed to be civilised in that screwed up continent.

I am convinced that the lady of the forest was able to tame werelwoves because no matter what you do to a man and whatever curse you throw at him, he will always be **** whiped.

Haha, those are the best. Especially kicking those ones in the brothel out.

"We're the White Falcons, the baddest, meanest, and loudest mercenary band from the Free Marches!"

I can just imagine my Warden rolling his eyes and just telling them to get out.

[CalJones]

We're the Crimson Oars, we'll rip out your eyes and ****** in your skull!



Unless you intimidate them and then they run off with their tails between their legs, so to speak.



Oh and it's Sgt Kylon, btw... who is awesome.

[KnightofPhoenix]

I guess it's up to me to keep this thread alive...Clear! *shock*

Reading books is actually useful. Gives you experience.

In addition, just owning the book without reading it, gives you experience.

Also, books in Ferelden are magically sumarised into one paragraph for our benefit.

And yet there is not one library in that country...

Lyrium infection is potentially sexually transmittable.

[Sarah1281]

If you pick up book, you magically know everything that's in it.



Fratricide can be fun.



Swords that glow are not at all disturbing and just mean that they're twice as awesome.



Being a Grey Warden is a reasonable alternative to using protection.

[Atomic Space Vixen]

Speaking of lack of libraries...



Anyone literate in Ferelden is apparently homeschooled.



Most building entrances work on the roadrunner/coyote principle. The doors are painted on, but those who are allowed in can still use them, making them roadrunners. You, my friend, are a coyote.



This may explain the lack of children. They are behind the painted on doors being homeschooled.



Some locks are too complicated for even the best thief to pick. For some reason, not everyone chooses to buy from that locksmith.



Water, when enough is present, forms an impenetrable barrier that keeps you from walking through it. Except in rain form.



Before the invention of stairs, nobody in Ferelden could ever climb anything. Now they can climb stairs, but have no idea how to transfer that ability to other objects.



Combine the water barrier effect with the inability to climb without stairs, nobody knows who invented boats, why they invented them, or how so many empty ones were able to be placed in the water. Nobody living can use a boat. There have been shipwrecks, but those just confuse people even more.



Dead people, however, can use boats. Nobody wants to try it though because living people just shoot flaming arrows at you so you'll never reach your destination.



Not that it matters, because even if you did, you'd still be dead.

[Skadi_the_Evil_Elf]

Activating blood magic in a chantry right in front of three templars has no consequences.



Ferelden bars do not sell alcohol or snacks, but weapons, poison, bombs, and traps.



It is possible to have passionate sex in full plate armor. Helmet included.



Bartenders are the best source of world shaking revelations and insights.



The Couslands are seriously kinky.



For all the talk of cheese, I'm yet to see a single cow. Thus, I've learned Ferelden makes cheese from something other than a cow's milk.



High Dragon's don't attack you unless you blow a really loud horn in their ear while they are sleeping.



Darkspawn are drawn to the siren call of pumpkin fields.



No matter how fast or far you try to run, ol Tegrin will find you.

[KnightofPhoenix]

Atomic Space Vixen wrote...

Dead people, however, can use boats. Nobody wants to try it though because living people just shoot flaming arrows at you so you'll never reach your destination.

Peasants demonstrate excellent archery skills when doing that, but are useless in every other situation.

[KnightofPhoenix]

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

For all the talk of cheese, I'm yet to see a single cow. Thus, I've learned Ferelden makes cheese from something other than a cow's milk.

I remember seeing dead cows.

I think the ground spawns dead cows that peasants proceed to milk quickly.

[Skadi_the_Evil_Elf]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

For all the talk of cheese, I'm yet to see a single cow. Thus, I've learned Ferelden makes cheese from something other than a cow's milk.

I remember seeing dead cows.

I think the ground spawns dead cows that peasants proceed to milk quickly.

Ahh, yes. So, Ferelden milk comes from dead cows. That explains much.

Another thing I've learned: Despite being the second most powerful family in all of Ferelden, the total worth of the contents of the Cousland family vault would barely fetch you a soverign in Ostagar. or anywhere else.

[Sarah1281]

Combine the water barrier effect with the inability to climb without stairs, nobody knows who invented boats, why they invented them, or how so many empty ones were able to be placed in the water. Nobody living can use a boat. There have been shipwrecks, but those just confuse people even more.

Correction: Kester is the only man alive who knows how to use a boat and Greagoir made him teach Carroll when Uldred rebelled.

[eucatastrophe]

Jumping is not possible

[Nuclear]

Never trust your mother.



Rouges are the sex maniacs of Thedas.



My dog is the smartest and sanest being in all of Ferelden. Second is Schmooples the nug.



Giving an indestructable pet bird to a homicidal avian hating golem is always a good idea.

[Atomic Space Vixen]

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

For all the talk of cheese,
I'm yet to see a single cow. Thus, I've learned Ferelden makes cheese
from something other than a cow's milk.

Why do you think they keep elves trapped in the alienages?

[Hechicera]

If (thanks to a certain DLC) you show up in town to defend yourself on charges of killing your half-brother even while wearing all of his armor and using his sword and shield, no one will comment in this or think it is suspicious in the least.



Sometimes "polishing a sword" is just polishing a sword.

[Elhanan]

When selecting unique gifts for your friends, occasionally send your dog....

No matter how many times you have heard the same tale, always pretend it is the first....

Even if the Swamp Witch of your heart states emphatically that she does not care about future romantic entanglements, beware getting entwined....

Simply being nice to folks will often be mistaken as romantic interest especially by those seeking romantic interests.....

Campfires are considered romantic, even when the campground is brimming with activity....

Male noble clothing oft makes for some stunning evening wear for the ladies....

Beware merchants giving your usual discount....

Modifié par Elhanan, 19 avril 2010 - 08:19 .

[Atomic Space Vixen]

Some demons have the good taste to die in a nice, tidy little sack form.

[DamnedEyez]

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

No matter how fast or far you try to run, ol Tegrin will find you.

Tegrin is stuck in an infinite loop...


Edit: and..

Large fallen creatures saturate the ground with so much blood, it will continue to bleed in pools no matter how long you've been away, long after the body has disappeared.

Modifié par DamnedEyez, 21 avril 2010 - 08:13 .

[KnightofPhoenix]

Tegrin can set up shop in darkspawn infested areas. And he doesn't need bodyguards to do so.

No one has ever slipped and fell in those lava fountains in Orzammar.

The kings of orzammar think it's a good idea to have a dragon in their room.