tmp7704 wrote...
LadyDamodred wrote...
You're not apologizing for your action in that case. It's more that you are feeling sympathy that he is hurting. We use the term "sorry" to express sympathy when others are in pain, and that's tied to apologizing, even if it isn't the same thing. Like mother used the term, she's sympathizing with what she was feeling, but she wasn't sorry for makign her feel that way.
You can also consider it an apology for my action causing him hurt as its side-effect. Or, to view it from another angle, for putting something else over the prospect of causing him hurt. I use "apology" in the sense: "an expression of regret at having caused trouble for someone" which does appear to be one of official definitions of the term. "to acknowledge one's mistake" is another, but both are valid.
*nods* I think sometimes discussions like this really do boil down to word usage. If I'm going to apologize for something, I'm apologizing for something that I did wrong. I was the one at fault, my actions had consequences, and I regret both my action and the consequences.
There are times I have done things that I do not regret that have hurt people I cared about. I'm sorry they're hurt, but I in no way regret my choice and I''m not about to apologize for it.