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[GothamLord]

DrSpoonbender wrote...

What a tease, you stopped at a particularly juicy moment.
I suppose All good things for those who wait.

Yeah,  Aint I a stinker for doing that on purpose?   

You really hooked me with the beginning of your first chapter. I am eagerly waiting to unravel all the mysteries you have cooked up. Again, good job.

Thank you.  I shall attempt to knock out some more between tonight and tomorrow while I am off work.  

[GothamLord]

Kelly’s eyes narrowed slightly as her uncle’s tone. Favorite niece? Where the hell did he get off? Less than a week ago she was being drug away by Collectors and shoved into pods onboard their base. If Shepard hadn’t arrived when he did, she likely wouldn’t be here right now having this conversation. She would have been liquefied down into some protein like paste and tube feed into that thing, that abomination creature. A human style Reaper. Where was his love and compassion then? This was only the second time she’d contacted him like this since the Omega 4 mission had succeeded. It seemed to him like what had happened to her was irrelevant the minute she stepped back onboard the Normandy. Was she not worth even so much as a true sympathic, "How are you doing?"

She placed a hand on her temple as she felt a sharp pain start to twitch behind her right eye. She already had an eidetic memory, it was one of the key assets she brought with her as a Cerberus operative, but the time in the Collector ship had somehow enhanced what skill she had before several times over. She could certainly grasp the experiences that Thane described of now when he would drift back into memories. Her anger was triggering it like an outside stimuli source for him. 
 


She awoke with a start. The tight enclosed space of the pod surrounded her lower torso so as she could barely move her legs with the way the device was built. Looking around franticly from the thick glass she tried to determine where she was. Organic protrusions seemed to mix with the hive like metallic superstructure she could see. From the data on the Collector ship interior from before she could easily conclude they were still somewhere with the Collectors. Across from her through the glass were several other pods. Two of them appeared to be open and empty. A third had a man inside. He wasn’t from the Normandy but he was most certainly human, most likely a kidnapped colonist.  If she could wake him up, maybe she could talk to him and figure out more of where they were and what was going on. She pounded her fist a couple times on the thick glass dome of the pod. Unsure how much sound really would get though. Then the shape lunged into view causing her to scream slightly in terror. Her heart nearly exploded in her chest with fright as a Scion was suddenly there snarling through the glass at her.  It trailed its gnarly husk hand across the glass, its claws screeching on it like nails across a chalkboard. She pressed herself back as far as she could into the pod as it just seemed to eye her for a moment.  
 

Suddenly Kelly snapped back to her spot on the bridge of the Normandy. The Illusive Man’s voice breaking through to her again and vaulting her back into reality with a hard jolt.

Kelly?

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and she was covered in sweat. She braced herself with both hands on the railing as she attempted to control her breathing.  

Kelly??

Kelly shook her head trying to clear the memory from it.

I…I’m alright. Just tired.

Modifié par GothamLord, 18 mai 2010 - 12:59 .

[Shepard Lives]

GothamLord wrote...
-snip-

Hmmm. I was a tad surprised because of the presence of a lone Scion. The hell was it doing  there? (Maybe Kelly was hallucinating?)

Oh and like I've already written in a gazillion threads, I'm almost entirely sure Kelly does not have eidetic memory. That's like saying that, when Thane reminisces something in front of Shepard, the Commander actually sees Thane's face from various angles with trippy lighting. 'Course I could be wrong, because Kelly's kind of memory hasn't been denied or confirmed by anyone, but for now I'll consider her ability something that you created, not the BW writers . Okay?

Also I found Kelly's reaction to TIM's approach slightly too harsh for her, it seemed like you took over and started voicing your thoughts instead of Kelly's.

Other than that, nice chapter (can we consider it a chapter? or is it some sort of interlude?). I appreciated the way you described  her flashback sequence. Keep up the good work!

[GothamLord]

shepard_lives wrote...
Hmmm. I was a tad surprised because of the presence of a lone Scion. The hell was it doing  there? (Maybe Kelly was hallucinating?)

Seeing as its just a random snip of a much larger memory, you'll just have to wait and see what else is going on. 

Oh and like I've already written in a gazillion threads, I'm almost entirely sure Kelly does not have eidetic memory. That's like saying that, when Thane reminisces something in front of Shepard, the Commander actually sees Thane's face from various angles with trippy lighting. 'Course I could be wrong, because Kelly's kind of memory hasn't been denied or confirmed by anyone, but for now I'll consider her ability something that you created, not the BW writers . Okay?

Totally up to you how you want to see it.  I enjoy the concept of her having had eidetic memory in the first place.  Makes her more interesting. And as you said since its not something confirmed or denied by BW its all fair game just like the rest of her backhistory I'm doing here. 

Also I found Kelly's reaction to TIM's approach slightly too harsh for her, it seemed like you took over and started voicing your thoughts instead of Kelly's.

Other than that, nice chapter (can we consider it a chapter? or is it some sort of interlude?). I appreciated the way you described  her flashback sequence. Keep up the good work!

Well this is draft 1  or probably atleast 3 before *I* actually start to consider it anywhere close to finalize. Plot is set but scripting and everything else is under construction for the most part.   It probably did seem a bit harsh but I'll end up going back to expand on it.   This of course is one of the reasons I'm letting people see it while its still a work in progress to get feedback and of course its generally Kelly related to its fun to share.   As for Chaper length... up in the air.  Probably end the chapter when I end this scene.

Modifié par GothamLord, 18 mai 2010 - 01:27 .

[Yana Montana]

You rock, Gotham! Keep up a good work. :-D

[Yana Montana]

This is trully exciting!
Our own expansion pack to Ms Chambers character. LOL.

Modifié par Yana Montana, 18 mai 2010 - 02:09 .

[Pwnisher]

Nice work on the story so far GothamLord! Keep up the good work!

Now I must report to my superior.



Lord Vader will be most pleased.

[PillarBiter]

Thought I'd post it here too.

Modifié par MrCry0, 19 mai 2010 - 03:56 .

[Shadowscythe85]

I finally got around to finishing ME2 with the Kelly as my LI. I must say that she is probably the most normal crew member considering all the others got issues. I got so angry seeing her dragged into the elevator by the Collectors and not being able to stop them, I marched like Sherman through the South to get her back.
I hope they bring her back for ME3, hopefully not as the spy that many have been saying. Considering if you blow up the base,  Miranda more of less quits Cerberus and everyone agrees with your choice, so I don't think any of the crew are still sided with them including Kelly.

oh, and here's a pic of my Shep with Kelly (and I don't know what's up w/Shep's eyes)

[GothamLord]

Well I dont know about *everybody* but my theory with her as a spy doesnt mean shes going to betray Shepard. Her original purpose there may have been a spy, but saving her from the base is grounds to have her loyal to Shepard now, just like everyone else.





Also I will try and get some more of the fic posted tonight. I got called in for OT last night so it kinda' cramped my ability to really sit down and write anything.

[DrSpoonbender]

Shadowscythe85 wrote...

I finally got around to finishing ME2 with the Kelly as my LI. I must say that she is probably the most normal crew member considering all the others got issues. I got so angry seeing her dragged into the elevator by the Collectors and not being able to stop them, I marched like Sherman through the South to get her back.
I hope they bring her back for ME3, hopefully not as the spy that many have been saying. Considering if you blow up the base,  Miranda more of less quits Cerberus and everyone agrees with your choice, so I don't think any of the crew are still sided with them including Kelly.

Rescuing my crew (ergo Kelly) was one of most satisfying moments of the game. I really felt heroic by going into danger and saving them (this feeling was accentuated by the fact that they could die and be written out of the game). The gratitude crew felt after the completion of the mission and visiting them made me smile ear to ear. It was a little troubling speaking to Kelly, because while deeply thankful for her rescue she seemed deeply effected by the experience. 
 
The fact that you can lose Kelly (and the other members of the crew) in ME2 only adds to her value if you include her in ME3. Since ME3 will be the conclusion of the trilogy they will want players’ decisions and personal investments in the characters to pay off. I can’t see how Bioware can allow a player to romance a character and go through the trouble of rescuing them without providing a significant payoff at the end.    Those trials that we go through in order to get the story that we want is what will make this game memorable.


I am grateful to the fact that I can read GothamLords story while I wait for this to come to fruition.

Modifié par DrSpoonbender, 19 mai 2010 - 10:52 .

[Shepard Lives]

DrSpoonbender wrote...
Rescuing my crew (ergo Kelly) was one of most satisfying moments of the game. I really felt heroic by going into danger and saving them (this feeling was accentuated by the fact that they could die and be written out of the game). The gratitude crew felt after the completion of the mission and visiting them made me smile ear to ear. It was a little troubling speaking to Kelly, because while deeply thankful for her rescue she seemed deeply effected by the experience. 
 
The fact that you can lose Kelly (and the other members of the crew) in ME2 only adds to her value if you include her in ME3. Since ME3 will be the conclusion of the trilogy they will want players’ decisions and personal investments in the characters to pay off. I can’t see how Bioware can allow a player to romance a character and go through the trouble of rescuing them without providing a significant payoff at the end.  Those trials that we go through in order to get the story that we want is what will make this game memorable.


I am grateful to the fact that I can read GothamLords story while I wait for this to come to fruition.

Actually, on my first playthrough I got her killed. It was the most horrifying thing I have ever had to endure in a video game. Makes my Shep a great tragic hero though, and all the more determined to annihilate the god damn space squids that caused her to die.

Although, I did reload to make a second happy fairytale ending where I saved my beloved Kelly and all of the squad.

[GothamLord]

Mass Effect: Spy Game
Chapter 1  Part 3



While I cant begin to admit that I understand what you experienced on the Collector Ship, I do know that it couldn’t have been easy. If you feel that you’re unable to continue with this assignment I can have you pulled…

Kelly coughed as she cut him off.

No….

Her  voice was forceful, as she tilted her back up enough to look to the screen. She knew he wouldn’t like be stopped in the middle of one of his lectures but she didn’t care. If he pushed the issue, she’d play the niece card. But the most imporant fact was Shepard. She wouldn’t leave him. She cared to much for him. Plus she knew he cared for her. He wouldn’t just let her leave and certainly wouldn’t just let someone come in and replace her either with some lame explanation. She straighted herself up and wiped off her forehead.

I can do my job.  I don’t need to be extracted. I don’t need to be replaced. I don’t need to babysat. You know just as well as I do that he wouldn’t go for that either. I’ll do my job, just like I always do.  

Kelly was still a bit shaken from the sudden intense flashback but  she wasn’t going to let herself be swayed.  The Illusive Man took another drag from the cigarrete in his hands before he continued.

Kelly I have no doubt of your abilities. You’ve been one of the best agents this organization has had. If I didn’t have confidence in you I wouldn’t have placed you there in the first place.  The Omega 4 mission however is done.  After everything that’s happened you have every right to want to move on. 

She turned her attention to the purpose of the call, ignoring the statement . She wasn’t going anywhere.  Shepard had come for her. Not just the mission but to save their lives. That wasn’t something that she was going to soon forget.

I’ll forward you the current reports.  Also it appears Miss Goto still has Okuda’s graybox and has not destroyed it.  I haven’t heard anything to indicate either her or Shepard have attempted to truly look over the information inside.

She tapped a few buttons on the display as it started the transfer of files.

We’re currently making arangements for that.  The Alliance Intelligence Agency is going to be loosing a few staff members here shortly. We’ve paid off the families and set them up new secure lodgings in the Terminus.  Alliance reports are going to declare them as traitors with ties back to Batarian supporters for Jath’Amon.  Any information that would be found in the graybox will be labeled now as falsified terrorist intel. Keiji will be classified as nothing more than an casuality of an AIA member killed when he discovered the truth and tried to stop them.
 
He took a drink from the glass beside him, as he started to receive the files.

We’ve also taken the liberty of raiding Mister Hock’s estate before any authorities were notified.  If Miss Goto hears anything about Keiji, you can let her know that having him buried now as an Alliance patriot is a bonus for all the art left behind helping to fund Cerberus in its continued  pursuit of protecting humanity.

Kelly paused for a moment as she listened. She tilted her head slightly as the thought ran through her head. 

What about Shepard and Kasumi if they actually look through the graybox and actually see whats there? The terrorist reports might be good for the local news stations but they'll know better. 

The Illusive Man sat the drink back down in the holder on the chair 

Well if you think he can handle the truth... 








 

Modifié par GothamLord, 21 mai 2010 - 09:07 .

[DrSpoonbender]

Ah...another yummy morsel to bide our time on.



I am really excited by what you have cooked up so far. Kelly Chambers isn't the innocent assistant Shepard believes her to be, but why? It seems that your story has many mysteries it intends to unravel. Good work.

[Shepard Lives]

Oooooooh, the graybox

I am very curious about the way your story will unravel, Gotham, keep up the good work.

[GothamLord]

Thanks guys. Part 4 should bedone shortly and probably finish out the chapter. I need sleep though first.

[Homebound]

MrCry0 wrote...

Thought I'd post it here too.

[GothamLord]

In the meantime however...   Hehehehe

I have a teaser for another one of the side stories I am working on to be involved with Kelly's     So for your enjoyment...


Sins of Matris

She gasped suddenly as she felt consciousness fill her mind again. Her sight however was blurred and she couldnt feel her limbs. She was alive though. The memories were hazy. The hiss and sounds of medical equipment surrounded her. Where was she? What was going on? She tried to remember. Blackness. Emptiness. She heard voices coming from a distance but she couldnt move.

So the Illusive Man wants us to fix her again because? I guess I just cant believe that Cerberus has the funds for doing something like this again. The Lazarus Project with Shepard costs us over what? Something like four billion in credits.."

That name.... Shepard... Why did it sound so familiar?! Another voice continued.

"I dont know. Its more than just her biotics though. It has something to do with her genetic makeup. Its rare or something in the Asari. Gibson has a writeup on it. Taking about the next step in the species evolution process and whatnot. Ardat-Yakshi or something like that... [/blue]

Her mind screamed hearing the term "Ardat-Yakshi" Demon of the Night Winds, she knew what it was. But everything still seemed so blank.

Still...given her background?

She could feel chemicals flowing again. They were doing something with the IV equipment next to her.

[color=blue]Hey, I dont ask questions. Human, Asari, Vorcha. I'm getting paid. Atleast with the data from the Lazarus Project we shouldnt need to be on this for two years

She could feel the haze taking back over as the drugs filled her mind. Sleep... Sleep would bring back more memories.

Mother... I cant chose to stop being your daughter, Mother.


The scream echoed in the back of her mind.

Modifié par GothamLord, 21 mai 2010 - 01:57 .

[PillarBiter]

Just_mike wrote...

MrCry0 wrote...

Thought I'd post it here too.

I dont get it D:

[Pwnisher]

Good story! Keep up the excellent work.

[GothamLord]

Gracias. Probably be a day or two before I get the last part of Chapter 1 posted. Work is killer on the weekends so its hard to have the time to concentrate on anything else.

[Cpl_Facehugger]

I too have a soft spot for Kelly. Unlike all the other LI's, she's... In fact, you know what? Mordin says it better than I could.

"Kelly. Sexually adventurous. No unnecessary drama. No cliche backstory. Attractive. Caring. Nurturing. Normal girl in exceptional circumstances. Also feeds fish."

And on those foul and libelous accusations of scale itch, Mordin had this to say:

"Scale itch needs scales. Simple logic. No danger of mammalian infection. Most likely vector Drell Assassin. Gets lonely in the life support bay. Urz provides comfort."

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. 

Modifié par Cpl_Facehugger, 23 mai 2010 - 02:52 .

[Shepard Lives]

Cpl_Facehugger wrote...

"Scale itch needs scales. Simple logic. No danger of mammalian infection. Most likely vector Drell Assassin. Gets lonely in the life support bay. Urz provides comfort."

 

Dude, that's awesome. I'm going to put it in our group description.

[Pwnisher]

Too quiet here.

[GothamLord]

Yeah I got called in for O.T. this week on my days off. Good for the paycheck, bad for the writing. So I havent had a chance to post any new fic stuff. Need more chatter otherwise.