The other day I met some stupid Asari Justicar who wanted to kill me, because I happen to shoot people before questioning them, instead of throwing them against walls as she clearly prefers. Well, I guess you can't expect too much of a person who's named after a car commercial.
I didn't like that. I already died once and frankly, it sucked! Pissed me of it did!
So after spending some time arguing who was best at forcing people to talk, she decided to let me go if I instead helped her kill her daughter, Morinth.
No problem! I kill helpless kids all the time, I thought!
So we moved towards Omega, while I told her all about my past adventures.
She seemed very impressed by the story from Virmire, where I blew up an entire colony of orphanaged baby krogan, using a nuke I stole from some stupid Salarians. I even got half of my own team! Good times..
As we reached Omega we came across some old, whimpy lady.
I think she had gotten something in her eye, cause she kept crying and mumbling something.
I didn't really pay much attention to her, but as I looted the hell out of her place, the Asari figured out that Morinth might be at the nearby club, cause she was an alcoholic or something.. Was hard to hear over the whimpy lady.
At the club the Asari hid behind some boxes, and told me she would wait outside.. I guessed she had some old debt.. Ha! Thats what you get for tossing people around, instead of shooting them, when they start asking for money! Anyhow, I made my way across the floor, punched out some stupid Turians, and reached the Bar.
I demanded a free drink, cause I'm Commander Mother****ing Sheperd, and while threatening the bartender he told me where the girl was sitting.. I then thought about shooting him, but hey.. Dont shoot a guy that gives out free drinks! You might get thirsty!
After chatting the girl up a bit, we quickly decided to go to her appartment. I can't really remember the details, but it had something to do with music and drugs.. Apparently she was not only an alcoholic, but also a drug addict. Reminded me of Dr. Chakwas..
So at her apparment, things starting to look good. I don't know if it was the drinks from earlier, but her sofa was really soft, and.. and now she's sitting in my lap! Damn, I haven't even started offering candy yet!
But then her mother barged in.. Damn, why does this **** always happen right before it gets really fun?
Yes, it was the Asari from before. The car commercial..
She started yelling and cursing, no wonder her Morinth is a drug addict when the mother uses such a language.
Anyway, I started to say something in my defence, like how Morinth told me she was 18, and I had been drinking, and I was just looking for the bathroom.. There was an akward silence for a few seconds, then hell broke lose and the 2 Asari started throwing snowballs at each other.. Big glowing snowballs, true.. But personally I would just have cained the intire place..
Now both of them are locked in some kind of glowing stasis, like 2 snowmen forever stuck in time.. Yep, should have gone with the cain.. Mmm, I should probably kill one of them so I could get back to the Normandy.
But who to choose?
The sexy kid, who clearly loves me, with alcohol and drug addiction? or what ever it was..
The old hag who thinks she's a car, and wants to kill me just because I'm better at interrogating than her?
"Death by SnooSnoo?" I'm Commander Mother****ing Sheperd! I've dismissed that claim!
Modifié par Elnino135, 16 avril 2010 - 02:56 .





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