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[Wentletrap]

In Part One, the Council and I
did not always see eye to eye.
But after they 'sploded,
the humans promoted
would not even let me say "Hi".
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
I once knew a clan called the Urdnot.
For Krogan, they were an absurd lot.
To mess with their brains,
I gave them some Cains.
Since then, from the Urdnot, I've heard not.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
Shepard thought he could go queer
for that Scottish guy engineer.
The two laddies shagged some,
and then daddy-bagged some,
[insert “power-coupling” joke here]
 

[cruellae]

Was it love with Alenko or lust?
Well, when poor Shep bit the dust
Kaiden was a dick
so I think she’ll stick
To the alien crew she can trust
 
When I landed on Illium
I looked up Liara to have some fun
But she threatened to flay
Some guy who wouldn’t pay
I guess it’s her mom she’s become
 
The Widowmaker I adore
It makes all other weapons a bore
That rifle is how
I got Garrus to put out
But I still think he loves the gun more

Modifié par cruellae, 11 mai 2010 - 05:28 .

[RazzlesAD]

cruellae wrote...
The Widowmaker I adore
It makes all other weapons a bore
That rifle is how
I got Garrus to put out
But I still think he loves the gun more

*sniffle* This :'(

[Wentletrap]

The evening of my final mission,
in my cabin, there is a vision:
a picture of Ashley
that stares at me sadly
until my eyes begin to glisten.

[PieLoverMike]

This thread looks like it is fun

So I thought that I would write one

But my limerick endeavour

Well, it took forever

But at last I am finally done.



As hard as he tries to disguise

Jacob is only after the priiize

God I wish he was gay,

Then he’d go away,

So I could give Garrus a try.

[Wentletrap]

Though ME2 has many haters,
I feel I must thank its creators
for doing away with
what I hate to play with:
the long rides on slow elevators.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
Said Garrus, "I miss conversation
that happens during elevation".
Replied Tali, "Not fun,
plus I have a Shotgun",
...so he returned to calibration.

[Wentletrap]

Among open stars I will ride,
set drifting along the light’s tide,
through each dusty shoal
'til I reach my goal -
The Migrant Fleet where we reside.

Modifié par Wentletrap, 16 mai 2010 - 04:59 .

[Wentletrap]

Amonkira , here’s what I need:
some improvement in my foot speed,
a steadier hand,
a truer aim, and
forgiveness, if I don’t succeed.

[phatmarshi]

I head to my quarters to relax
Miranda stops me in my tracks
I've had none since I was revived
The engine rooms clear, be there in five
Miri settles for nothing but the best

In the engine room I approached her from behind
I make it quite clear whats on my mind
But Miri wanted to ride like a cowgirl
So I relax for her to rock my world
Varren style will have to be for next time

==========================================

Tali's immunity she wanted to boost
Herbs and needles she is willing to abuse
Her feelings she will no longer hide
Shes never been more awkward or shy
Doing this she has much to lose

In bed she did not want to flop
Her nervous rambling I had to stop
I cut her off by removing her mask
What style I prefered she did not ask
Miri is not the only one who likes it on top

Modifié par phatmarshi, 15 mai 2010 - 01:07 .

[DPSSOC]

In ME there's an Illusive Man

Who always has a cunning plan

I'm sure that we'd win

If he'd just clue us in

But tells us squat so we do what we can

[Cra5y Pineapple]

Cartims wrote...

I'm commander and this is an order
All women go up to my quarters
And lay on my bed
For I was once dead
And tell me if I'm out of order

It's funny because it's true XD

[Shepard Lives]

TIM is a really cool guy
People hate him and I don't see why
But when he said that phrase
(It was "Gimme the base")
I freaked out and said, "Bye bye"

--------------

"Garrus is cool", this point is moot
Okay, sometimes he can be quite astute
But other than that
He cannot do squat
He's just a nice target to shoot.

----------------

When Shepard walks on the dance floor
Every girl makes a run for the door
The alpha male myth
Takes a terrible hit
He's as limber as a wooden drawer.

Dude, I freaking LOVE this thread. I could write ME2 limericks all day.

Modifié par shepard_lives, 15 mai 2010 - 12:40 .

[DPSSOC]

Zaeed is a grumpy old merc

Who's just gone completely berzerk

He says Vido must die

Let the poor workers fry

Or you'll make him unloyal the jerk



There's a woman, Miranda's her name

Who often can be quite a pain

She's a cold hearted witch

And an enormous b****

And yet I love her all the same



Jack is a super-biotic

Who some people say is psychotic

But she just wants some fun

Running with a shotgun

So clearly she's Neutral Chaotic



Grunt is a rampaging Krogan

Who does remind me of Hulk Hogan

He'll scream and he'll shout

Tossing his foes about

He'd be deadly even if he had no gun

[PieLoverMike]

Niftu Cal was a Volus

A biotic god, so he told us

So he charged ahead,

And now he is dead

He’d be better off in the circus

[Wentletrap]

I once met a justicar’s daughter.
Compared to her mom, she was hotter.
The mother I ditched,
and once they were switched,
none realized her daughter was not her.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
Jane Shepard died floating in space.
Her ship got blown up in a chase.
This crushing defeat
I’m doomed to repeat
until I perfect her new face.

[RazzlesAD]

Wentletrap wrote...
Jane Shepard died floating in space.
Her ship got blown up in a chase.
This crushing defeat
I’m doomed to repeat
until I perfect her new face.

There is a lot of truth in this limerick
Repeating the intro scene sure gave me a tick
In the end I decided to go with the standard
I leaned back and looked skyward
If only there was a way to make it quick.

[Festi]

Shepard's death was a bit confusing
Was it a plot device they were using?
It seems Shepard ate space
So we could replace his face
Which I will be refusing.

[lovgreno]

The tragic story about TIMs last stupidity.

Snuggle up to a quarian or grab a turian.
Order a drink, but not from a batarian.
Put your baby krogan to sleep with a song,
for this tragic story is long.
This is the tale of a most incompetent human.

There once was a man named TIM,
whose chances of sucess were obviously slim
Thorian, husks, rachni and Jack,
all had Cerberus redshirts for a snack.
Cerberus sponsors were obviously dim.

When Liara brought him Shepard, sadly dead,
TIM for once found some intelligence in his head
The resurected Shepard soon among the stars sailed,
and managed to do good despite TIMs plans that always failed.
But TIM continued his failing scemes despite what anyone said.

At last TIM had found his priiize:
"The Collector Base will bring humanity to paradise!"
But Shepard had enough:
"TIMs ideas are solid as dough!
A big explosion will put your plans on ice."

Friends let us be thankull for Shepards wisdom.
The results of TIMs plans are always random.
For Harbringer is hardly a fool.
In the base it would leave no usefull tool.
Messing with reaper things always leads to indoctrination.

The base would not be any Deus Ex Machina to stop the reapers,
but Shepard knows that dreaming is for sleepers.
Unity by thruth wins the masses.
Lies and and wishfull thinking are for arrogant a****
And so TIMs plans stayed in his drawers.

How much a mans fate can switch.
TIM was soon demoted to Andersons b****
Joining Udina whining in vain.
Not daring to complain,
For this demoting task was still better than being dead in a ditch.

Modifié par lovgreno, 17 mai 2010 - 07:19 .

[RazzlesAD]

lovgreno wrote...

The tragic story about TIMs last stupidity.

Awesome! We got another ballad!

[lovgreno]

RazzlesAD wrote...

lovgreno wrote...

The tragic story about TIMs last stupidity.

Awesome! We got another ballad!

You have my thanks RazzlesAD,
I'm glad you enjoyed my ballad.
It is my wish,
to get better at this.
And perhaps even make someone glad.

My poetry have flaws, it's true.
I know I am less skilled than most of you.
But still i yearn,
to more learn.
And become one of the skilled rhymers crew.

Modifié par lovgreno, 18 mai 2010 - 12:07 .

[lovgreno]

Now I often heard it spoken
that to the team he is just a token.
But calling him the Priiize
just isn't nice.
It's just his romance dialouge that is broken.

Though a geth infiltrator I suspect!
A flashlight head in his face I detect.
Teeth and sight,
shining bright.
Legions unknown brother I expect..

Modifié par lovgreno, 18 mai 2010 - 12:40 .

[kglaser]

PieLoverMike wrote...

As hard as he tries to disguise
Jacob is only after the priiize
God I wish he was gay,
Then he’d go away,
So I could give Garrus a try.

Win.  Win, I say.

[kglaser]

The bar is a wondrous addition
To the Normandy's storied tradition.
How great it would be
For once just to see
Shep get bombed before the Suicide Mission

[PieLoverMike]

kglaser wrote...

PieLoverMike wrote...

As hard as he tries to disguise
Jacob is only after the priiize
God I wish he was gay,
Then he’d go away,
So I could give Garrus a try.

Win.  Win, I say.

Thanks  Was the first one I wrote.

[lovgreno]

kglaser wrote...

The bar is a wondrous addition
To the Normandy's storied tradition.
How great it would be
For once just to see
Shep get bombed before the Suicide Mission

To this I fully agree, but more I would like to see:
A asari matriarch making martinis for me!
The thief might protest
Aeythas company will be a test.
But that can be redeemed with alcohol for free.