383 réponses à ce sujet

[Wentletrap]

Each Mass Effect chick wants to do me
except the elusive Kasumi.
From her I get nil –
just free drinks until            
EDI points the restroom out to me.

[Wentletrap]

On Afterlife’s lower dance floor,
a bartender gave me a pour.
Alas, he had drugged it,
so after I chugged it,
my head and my ego were sore.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
Another round quickly was sold,
but this time the barkeep was told
to make this next batch
go down his own hatch.
Revenge is a drink best served cold.
 

Modifié par Wentletrap, 18 mai 2010 - 04:16 .

[Wentletrap]

Miranda stopped being my friend
when Jack's side I chose to defend.
This newfound hostility
reduced her ability
to survive a large fall at the end.

Modifié par Wentletrap, 18 mai 2010 - 08:31 .

[kglaser]

Wentletrap, you are going to rival Alraiis for limerick master

[Wentletrap]

kglaser wrote...

Wentletrap, you are going to rival Alraiis for limerick master

Your praise will give me a swelled head! 
But I'm honored to support this thread,
and read clever jokes
from all of you folks -
I enjoy all the ones that I've read.

[lovgreno]

From this thread I have learned,
that Wentletraps praise is well earned.
But the poetry already created,
have not my thirst slated.
For more of your rhyming I have yearned.

The writing skills of Bioware is great,
but sometime silly misstakes they create.
A friendly joke,
like the ones you spoke,
is something Bioware will surely apreciate.

Modifié par lovgreno, 19 mai 2010 - 06:19 .

[Wentletrap]

I helped the Asari consort
when her client tried to extort.
With her name all cleared,
her booty I speared
while watching her body contort.

[Wentletrap]

In this game, they took out the looting,
and focused it more on the shooting.
Those changes I liked,
but I was less psyched
about all the squadmate recruiting.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
In Dragon Age, what truly rocks
are those random, intra-squad talks.
But ME2’s crew
will speak just to you -
and only if there’s a blue box.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
In ME2, when I began it,
I'd search eagerly for each planet.
Let’s hope, in Part Three,
each new world we see
will let us do more than just scan it.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
When ME3 comes out next year,
I wonder whose voices we’ll hear.
While it never gets stale
hearing Jennifer Hale,
I can’t say the same for Mark Meer.

-----------------------------------------------------

Before ME3 is in stores,
I say, screw the TPS wh#res.
Return to what made
the first game A-grade,
and stop cranking out Gears of War ’s.
 

Modifié par Wentletrap, 12 août 2010 - 05:36 .

[Wentletrap]

For months, I was just meat and tubes.
Then Cerberus rebuilt my pubes.
It’s Science I’m thanking
as I sit here spanking
to Ms. Lawson’s engineered boobs.  
 

Modifié par Wentletrap, 04 juin 2010 - 05:47 .

[Aiaus]

So I thought I'd go mineral fishin'

But ended up on a suicide mission

Looked around all askance

Then did the "Pee-Pee" dance

For my crew, they were all missin'

[Wentletrap]

I'm Shepard and you can be sure
this merchant won't mistreat the poor.
Of all those who sell
in this Citadel
this one is my favorite store.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
The basis of Tali’s mystique?
A spacesuit that hides her physique.
The Tali-Fans’ lust
could all bite the dust
the day that we get our first peek. 

[RigAudio]

Making these poems can be rough
But trying your best is enough
  With adjectives various,
  Your rhymes get hilarious
Come on, guys, let's make more stuff!

Modifié par RigAudio, 24 juin 2010 - 05:28 .

[lovgreno]

There once was a man born in space.

Who to the navy was a disgrace.

Of the soldiers he led.

Many ended up dead.

So in Cerberus he found his true place!

[Never]

Wentletrap wrote...

I'm Shepard and you can be sure
this merchant won't mistreat the poor.
Of all those who sell
in this Citadel
this one is my favorite store.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
The basis of Tali’s mystique?
A spacesuit that hides her physique.
The Tali-Fans’ lust
could all bite the dust
the day that we get our first peek. 

LOVE it!

[lovgreno]

There once was a man from Perth.

Who felt he should go further than Earth.

His pistol and overload.

Killed the geths reaper overlord.

Then sadly the collectors made him eat the dirt.

[Wentletrap]

Poor Tali’s been coughing all day.
My crew asks if she is ok:
"It's from dust... when I went
through the Collectors’ vent...."
she says, looking slyly my way. 
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
Tali’Zorah thought I was a hunk,
and came up to sleep in my bunk.
She leapt off her feet
like a Varren in heat,
pinning me ‘neath her Quarian junk.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
The night before Harbinger's base,
Ms. Tali came up to my place.
She jumped me bareheaded,
a move she regretted
when my Omni-Gel hit her face.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
While taking a break from our duties,
my Tali and I, we knocked booties.
But seeing her suitless
was, in the end, fruitless –
she died from all my human cooties.

[RigAudio]

Shep whined: "I am stuck in a flux.
"There's nothing to do, and that sucks!"
  Suddenly, from the rack:
  "Help! We're under attack!
"To help us, please pay seven bucks!"
 

[Dinnertable]

Shepard has had a tough life,
But 'chieved much through his strife.
From first human Spectre,
To mineral prospector,
But's yet to settle with a wife.

EDIT: I want to change the fourth line to either "To mineral collector" or "To blasting Collectors". As much as I was proud of using the word 'prospector', it sounds exactly like Spectre, so doesn't have the same punchiness.

Modifié par Dinnertable, 27 juin 2010 - 10:45 .

[RigAudio]

I'm tired of this present day.
The future's where I'd like to play!
  They have tons of cool stuff
  That'd be more than enough,
But you'd think they'd have colour displays.

[lovgreno]

A human spectre born among the space migrant.
Who found taking the pill repugnant.
Dated turian and drell.
And it wen't quite well.
Untill both maliens told her they were pregnant.

Modifié par lovgreno, 27 juin 2010 - 10:44 .

[Dinnertable]

I miss the open-world terrain,

From Mass Effect one. What a shame.

Bouncing 'round, planet-side,

In Mako, what a ride.

Scanning just isn't the same.

[RazzlesAD]

lovgreno wrote...

A human spectre born among the space migrant.
Who found taking the pill repugnant.
Dated turian and drell.
And it wen't quite well.
Untill both maliens told her they were pregnant.

I knew this thread could be mean
I love it, it makes me feel obscene
Then I stumble upon this
And I find myself in a bliss
I lost my drink and broke my screen.

[lovgreno]

RazzlesAD wrote...
I knew this thread could be mean
I love it, it makes me feel obscene
Then I stumble upon this
And I find myself in a bliss
I lost my drink and broke my screen.

I apreciate the things you said.
But I got inspiration from this thread.
The fans of Garrus.
Are people most humourous.
Who often makes me wish I could play a turian spectre instead.

[Wentletrap]

I once met a gal with no hair.
Her tattoos were all she would wear.
While gaining her trust,
I gave in to lust
and pleasured her under the stair.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
I rescued my love from the Purgatory,
and then helped her blow up a laboratory.
Now smiling with joy,
she lets me deploy
my Hammerhead into her territory.

Modifié par Wentletrap, 13 août 2010 - 06:06 .

[BlackwindTheCommander]

I hate to be alittle crass,

Been having trouble with the Brass,

I saved thier Citadel.

but they disproved my tell.

So i told them them to shove it up thier A**