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Your Mass Effect Limericks


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#301
btthegeek

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Ambushed by geth,
Ashley Williams did fret
that she abandonded her platoon,
and Shepard did to,
so on Virmire poor Ashley was left.

Modifié par btthegeek, 14 juillet 2010 - 07:20 .


#302
btthegeek

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The perfect weapon remains
that cool M90 Cain,
heavy weapons are sweet
for they allow enemies to meet
their demise in a nuclear rain. 

#303
btthegeek

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I once knew a girl from the quarian flotilla,
she said to Garrus "talk in the elevator, I'll kill ya."
To which he replied,
to no one's great surprise
"Hey, cut to a loading screen, will ya!"

#304
btthegeek

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Many gamers have tried the insanity run,
trading secrets here and there, claiming its fun
to work for hours all day,
doing nothing but play,
and get thier **** handed to them on Horizon.

#305
btthegeek

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Blasto the spectre was living in bliss,
for with this one's weapons, it never did miss,
with heat sink at capacity,
this one states with veracity,
"Criminal scum, enkindle this!"

#306
RazzlesAD

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btthegeek wrote...

Ambushed by geth,
Ashley Williams did fret
that she abandonded her platoon,
and Shepard did to,
so on Virmire poor Ashley was left.


Bwahahahah! This one is rich
since Ashley is the one we ditch
because she abandoned her position
so did we on the following mission
Karma is a real bítch

#307
btthegeek

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Yes, she shot Wrex,
in my first playthrough did vex
me greatly, but then later
I decided I did hate her
since Liara was better at sex. 
Image IPB

#308
Wentletrap

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You’ve made me so mad with your lie,
it’s time to see if you can fly.
Do you think that the sound
of you hitting the ground
will reach your ears, before you die?  
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
This Geth is my friend – please don’t shoot him.
It took me so long to recruit him.
If you guys don’t act nicer,
I'll take off my visor
and cover your ship with my sputum .
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
This is the best bar that I’ve been to.
More glasses, I must put my chin to.
I can’t get enough,
so please put more stuff
in the thing that the stuff should go into.

Modifié par Wentletrap, 19 juillet 2010 - 06:27 .


#309
Wentletrap

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I met a gal who was nocturnal,
and solved all her problems maternal.
She offered romance,
so I took a chance – 
but alas, I embraced the Eternal…

#310
Wentletrap

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Samara, I want you so badly.  
“In another lifetime…” you say sadly. 
My dear, if that’s true,
Project Lazarus II
is something I would endure gladly.

#311
Death_Stalks_All

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Alraiis wrote...
On Kaidan's grave I made an oath
From sacrifice, there would come growth
   I saw Ash on Horizon
   The results were surprisin'
Now I wish I had just killed them both

I Honestly wish I could have just done that
But Bioware don't like that
 So what I did instead
 Was Left Ashley for dead.
For she wanted love
And I wanted Tali
Persistance is such a... Crap, nothing rythmes!
(I abandoned ash because she wanted romance.
I wanted to romance Tali not her, she left me no choice)

When the time had come
To Blow the collectors up their bum
TIM had just called
"What in the heck are you doing?"
"Use the base, it will give me my hidden ace"
And so Shepard did not blow it up.
When TIM had called back, he said without slack
"This is the best for us all"
So Shepard had said, with a plain nodding head
"That's why I didn't blow it up"

One time in a Diner
I had come up to a whiner
 He asked where I got my sword
 I came for my friend, whom wanted me dead
So with a studder in mind
I just pulled a knife from behind
And then one of those men fell dead.
(Dragon Age Origins City Elf Male referance)

#312
Wentletrap

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With Kelly, I’d flirt and act witty.
Our growing romance made me giddy.
I thought it auspicious
when she fed my fishes –
so I, in return, fed her kitty.

#313
RazzlesAD

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Wentletrap wrote...

With Kelly, I’d flirt and act witty.
Our growing romance made me giddy.
I thought it auspicious
when she fed my fishes –
so I, in return, fed her kitty.


Wentle, you're both terrifying and terrific.

#314
Wentletrap

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RazzlesAD wrote...
Wentle, you're both terrifying and terrific.


/bow
/blush         Image IPB

#315
DreVan

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I have a problem,

you should be aware!

its becoming a curse

my thoughts all in verse

Thank you so much, bioware

#316
Wentletrap

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A broker with secrets to sell
was puttin’ my baby through hell.
So we teamed up to fight,
then later that night
I checked into her azure hotel.  
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
Oh, the azure’s an interesting spectacle.
Each Asari has one quite identical.
Just like with their head,
there’s no hair, but instead
the whole thing is covered with tentacles.

Modifié par Wentletrap, 23 septembre 2010 - 06:37 .


#317
Pedrak

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Image IPBImage IPBImage IPB

Some of these are priceless...

#318
Pedrak

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Oh that Cerberus gal from "Chuck"
She was smart, had a wonderful butt
Then I read her dossier
and realized with dismay
that she was some kind of a sl*t

Image IPBImage IPB

Modifié par Pedrak, 24 septembre 2010 - 03:48 .


#319
Wentletrap

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In a room full of dossiers and vids,
overwhelmed by investments and bids,
she dreams of a day
when we’ll both run away
to a marriage and little blue kids.

#320
Pedrak

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Shadow Broker DLC was okay
It was worth the Bio points I had to pay
Shagging Liara wasn't bad
You also get to kill a yahg
And to spy your companion's mails.


...and yes, BioWare, you can use this for the marketing. Image IPB

Modifié par Pedrak, 24 septembre 2010 - 06:41 .


#321
Pedrak

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The next game should be a dating sim

Of romancing a Vorcha I am keen

You should get to have sex

With Samara, Urdnot Wrex

And to sleep with that hot Rachni queen.

#322
PsyrenY

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You are both solid gold (Wentle and Pedrak)

#323
Pedrak

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Optimystic_X wrote...

You are both solid gold (Wentle and Pedrak)


Thanks, but Wentle is the master - I am but a follower... Image IPB
----

Now another one, dedicated to our favourite Justicar



She said "No, let's be friends"
the blue chick that law defends
I hoped that was foreplay
but, alas, she sent me away
"Well", I sighed, "so now this ends."

So I kept thinking "She's a mother,
and a comrade of great power!"
Then I read in her dossier
she buys naughty negliges
Now I need a long cold shower.




Image IPB

Modifié par Pedrak, 25 septembre 2010 - 01:09 .


#324
Wentletrap

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Thanks for the compliments  B)
 
 

The best class for which you can opt,
the Infiltrator can’t be stopped.
You cloak and you zoom,
and head shot the whole room,
as Garrus exclaims, “Scoped and dropped!”.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
Oh Wrex, would you cut me some slack?
We’re here to stop Saren’s attack.
This quarrel must end –
you know I’m your friend,
and Ash over there has your back…
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
The squadmate I want most for me
has a face that’s as green as a pea.
From a Thorian blossom
she sprang, full of awesome –
Shiala for Mass Effect 3.
 

#325
lovgreno

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Though Shep enjoys alien romance,
he misses a certain bromance.
Longing for Wrex,
though not for sex.
As he uses a dominating stance.

Modifié par lovgreno, 30 septembre 2010 - 05:48 .