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[btthegeek]

Wentletrap wrote...

Using Mass Effect terms for hilarity,
I’ll describe my love life with sincerity:
Most girls, to maintain,
are an Energy Drain,
so I’ve come to prefer Singularity. 

Seems you have a flair
with your life to compare
what happens to Shep
to the girls you have met,
but hey, I see what you did there. 

[Wentletrap]

Thanks!



Ode to the Paragon Interrupt
 
(Inspired by Alraiis)
 
If a squadmate is getting upset
with a Maelon / Sidonis / Nikhet,
a right-click from Shep
will holster their wep,
and make them forgive and forget.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
When treating a coughing Batarian
or meeting a wounded Salarian,
right-click to give aid
and you’ll be portrayed
as a human-(er…alien?)-itarian. 
 
-----------------------------------------------------

Oh, give me a Shepard who charms,
who helps and heals rather than harms –
‘cause a Renegade role  
won’t let you console
a grieving Tali in your arms.

Modifié par Wentletrap, 23 octobre 2010 - 02:31 .

[Wentletrap]

She has tats of each color and shape,
and boobs that are held up by tape –
but the kinkiest fact
about my girl Jack:
the carpet’s as short as the drapes.

[Wolfknight581]

EDI so high tech and slick.

Her attempts at humor make me squick.

Though there's one thing I wish.

That she'd take care of my fish.

While I go stomp on some mercs real quick.

[RigAudio]

Hey guys, I hope I'm not late.
I had quite a lot on my plate
And these games as a whole
Had lost some of their pull,
But these Mass Effect limericks are great!

[ElectronicFerret]

RigAudio wrote...

Hey guys, I hope I'm not late.
I had quite a lot on my plate
And these games as a whole
Had lost some of their pull,
But these Mass Effect limericks are great!

Your timing is quite providential
for prolonging this thread is essential.
We need limericks, see,
for Mass Effect 3
(I'm sure someone out there thinks we're mental).

[SpectreSeven]

All those Reapers closing in for the kill,

But the damn humans just won't hold still!

What use is it to waste ammunition

On targets that constantly reposition?

Clearly they lack the necessary skill.

[Wentletrap]

This evening, my gal has intentions
to show me her perfect dimensions.
In main engineering,
some room she’ll be clearing
so we can have fun near the engines.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
Oh keelah, they’re using my station
for sexual gratification.
As I cry in my suit,
guess I’ll go and reboot
that program for nerve stimulation.
 
-----------------------------------------------------
 
I worked for two years to rebuild him –
and then, into romance I willed him.
Now that he’s undressed,
at last I can test
those special parts with which I filled him.
 

[RigAudio]

Wentletrap wrote...
I worked for two years to rebuild him –
and then, into romance I willed him.
Now that he’s undressed,
at last I can test
those special parts with which I filled him.
 

I don't think it's true conjugation
When you're loving your own fabrication.
If I went and I mated
With what I created,
I'd count it as just masturbation.

[btthegeek]

With Mass Effect 3
'Neath next year's Christmas tree,
How long can we wait
to save the human race,
please Bioware we need DLC.

[Wentletrap]

The forums are now full of rage
regarding the rushed Dragon Age –
so EA, with respect
to the next Mass Effect:
please let Bioware out of your cage.
 

[RigAudio]

My preferences are versatile,
But fantasy games aren't my style.
My reflexes worsen
While in the third-person,
Though Mass Effect gave me a smile.

[Ice Cold J]

Shepard ended Saren's gig
The Collectors grave did he dig
for what comes next
he's somewhat perplexed
Cause Reapers are pretty damn big

Ashley is handy with a gun
Off-duty she claims to be fun
she seems to be racist
but in any case it's
Easy to see why Shep won

Kaidan's voice is real dark
Throws bad guys with biotic sparks
yet somewhere deep down
I hear this sound,
Saying, "Why do I think I hear Carth?"

Garrus has fin'ly found his niche'
As Shepard's enemies he defeats
but his greatest strength
might deal with length
Cause word on the street's he's got "reach."

I'll do some more later...

[RazzlesAD]

Ice Cold J wrote...

Shepard ended Saren's gig
The Collectors grave did he dig
for what comes next
he's somewhat perplexed
Cause Reapers are pretty damn big

Awesome mental image

[Stormy-B]

We need a Spectre inductee
To protect the galaxy
Well, what about Shepard?
A Commander that runs lika a leopard
And always gets the job done does s/he.

---

Devastation was great, and so was my ire
For my loss was greater, I am no liar
I could only save one
And when it was done
The ghost of a friend haunted Virmire

---

Aethyta just cleaned the bar
So for sex I could look to a star
But I'll chat at great length
About her daddy's raw strength
And recite the poems of Charr.

---

Kasumi looks tasty but she's no snack
Cloaked and dangerous she's on the attack
A merc guy recieves a kick to the jewels
Making his legs feel as strong as noodles
She's not far from the power of cutscene-Jack.

Modifié par Stormy-B, 17 mars 2011 - 03:55 .

[Skithus]

When my boyfriend does Tali, I'm cool.
But when it's my turn he's a tool.
One little fan-fic
About green alien...members of another species...
And my computer ends up in the pool :/

Modifié par Skithus, 17 mars 2011 - 06:41 .

[Stormy-B]

Skithus wrote...

When my boyfriend does Tali, I'm cool.
But when it's my turn he's a tool.
One little fan-fic
About green alien...members of another species...
And my computer ends up in the pool :/

Your boyfriend sounds kind of lame.
It's just fictious love in a game.
But you might want to use restriction.
On your eroticly tinted fan-fiction.
When sleeping with him, don't mention you're mind is on Thane.

Or maybe it's Shiala.
That's been tampering your amygdala.
I mean they're both green.
And have that special sheen.
That's been known to make people go tra laa la.

---
Vilket fint namn du använder btw

[Homebound]

shepard
shepard
wrex
wrex
shepard

/fin

[Skithus]

When Making Limericks on your boyfriend's account
one should realize he'll prob'ly find out
who thought five lines of fiction
could cause this much friction
if I post no more its because I was drownt

(BTW - All this is in good fun, no actual violence against me or my electronics has happened, or was threatened

Modifié par Skithus, 18 mars 2011 - 03:00 .

[Skithus]

Skithus wrote...

When Making Limericks on your boyfriend's account
one should realize he'll prob'ly find out
who thought five lines of fiction
could cause this much friction
if I post no more its because I was drownt

(BTW - All this is in good fun, no actual violence against me or my electronics has happened, or was threatened

My girlfriend felt she was clever
to engage in this lyrical endevor
And though she sought to cut deeper
I still think she's a keeper
But tonight I shall show her my "reaper"



----------------------------------------------------------

There once was a Shep from Nantucket
Who did IFF too soon, but said **** it
She did her full tour
And then Omega Four
And brought Kelly home in a bucket

Modifié par Skithus, 18 mars 2011 - 07:26 .

[Captain_Obvious]

Mass Effect is so remarkable,
and Alenko and Thane are adorable.
What's that you say,
Kaiden is gay?
Oh wait, ah yes, variables. 

This thread is so funny I'm weeping,
but the rhymers seem to be sleeping.
Here's to rhymers anew
joining the crew,
to the first page I am bumping. 

[Made Nightwing]

There once was a marine named Ash,
Who was confident and sexy and brash,
So my heart became hers,
When I learned that poetry's what she prefers,
Between her and the rest there's no clash.

[Made Nightwing]

It doesn't matter really,
Whether you prefer Liara, Miranda or Tali,
It's all science fiction,
There's no need for friction,
All this hating going on is quite silly.

Because while I love Ashley so sweetly,
And Samara's rejection hurts deeply,
It's up to personal taste,
And there's no need to waste,
All of this buxom space booty.

[kglaser]

ME3 spoiler threads pain me much
I've thought, "I should get out of touch."
But it's painfully clear
I can't stop coming here
--I'll use only PMs as a crutch.

edit:
OK, now I'm becoming irate.
I'm sure ME3 will be great.
But no matter how small,
Any info at all
I don't want before the release date!!!

Modifié par kglaser, 16 juin 2011 - 05:20 .

[JoeLaTurkey]

There once was a naval Commander
And he took a shine to Miranda
He thought he was slick
She saw through his trick
She pulled out her gun
And shot off his...finger