383 réponses à ce sujet

[kglaser]

The turian councillor's crass

Indelicate, rude, and an a**

His airquotes have one finger

His obnoxiousness lingers

So him in ME3? I'll pass.

[Alraiis]

There once was a sleazeball named Fade
Anonymity was his sole trade
   But his business, you'll note,
   With a boot to the throat
Can be very promptly unmade

Gianna, that's two beers you owe me
For Hermia, and Qui'in's testimony
   For her debt she's not sorry
   She "loves nailing asari"
(Which I certainly found true with T'soni)

Thresher maws are quite hard in the killin'
Bring one down, krogan ladies get willin'
   Grunt and Wrex each bagged one
   But Shep has them outdone:
In the first game, he killed like a million

Modifié par Alraiis, 22 avril 2010 - 01:56 .

[kglaser]

Jacob's getting a lot of bad press
I've been guilty of such, I confess
He's not all that bad
But his wardrobe is sad
Should he borrow Shep's Little Black Dress?

These are fun.

The Biotic God got our attention
With powers too awesome to mention.
He was but a volus
Whose one simple goal was
To comedically ease ME's tension.

Modifié par kglaser, 22 avril 2010 - 02:05 .

[Alraiis]

kglaser wrote...

Jacob's getting a lot of bad press
I've been guilty of such, I confess
He's not all that bad
But his  wardrobe is sad
Should he borrow Shep's Little Black Dress?

You can't blame him for what he chose
(Though he does look quite awful in those)
   TIM spent of all his grants
   On your ship and implants
So he didn't have much left for clothes

EDIT: I just saw your update
The biotic god one was great!
   Niftu Cal, like a wind
   Will... uh... what rhymes with wind?
Ah, screw it, it's getting late

Modifié par Alraiis, 22 avril 2010 - 02:15 .

[kglaser]

Alraiis wrote...

kglaser wrote...

Jacob's getting a lot of bad press
I've been guilty of such, I confess
He's not all that bad
But his  wardrobe is sad
Should he borrow Shep's Little Black Dress?

You can't blame him for what he chose
(Though he does look quite awful in those)
   TIM spent of all his grants
   On your ship and implants
So he didn't have much left for clothes

Don't blame Shep for Jacob's weird smile
Or his clothing, which is, frankly, vile.
I mean, where are his hips?
And his freaky damn lips...
I think I'll go date the reptile.

[Cerrydd]

lol, keep 'em coming guys. I'm enjoying myself reading these

[Alraiis]

kglaser wrote...

Don't blame Shep for Jacob's weird smile
Or his clothing, which is, frankly, vile.
I mean, where are his hips?
And his freaky damn lips...
I think I'll go date the reptile.

My FemShep also went with Vakarian
And got protips from Dr. Salarian
   But despite the protection
   She now needs an injection
For the turian virus she's carryin'

[kglaser]

A virus? Sir, frankly, I scoff.

Of a virus, I was not warned off.

For in between strafing

I was just warned of chafing

And have suffered nary a cough.

[kglaser]

Alraiis wrote...

EDIT: I just saw your update
The biotic god one was great!
   Niftu Cal, like a wind
   Will... uh... what rhymes with wind?
Ah, screw it, it's getting late

PURE WIN

[Alraiis]

kglaser wrote...

A virus? Sir, frankly, I scoff.
Of a virus, I was not warned off.
For in between strafing
I was just warned of chafing
And have suffered nary a cough.

I might not know the technical term
Be it parasite, virus, or germ
   But something's been amiss
   Since that passionate kiss
(And the time that she swallowed some... never mind.)

[siltsonata]

The Council talk went like this:
The "Reaper" claims were dismissed
Tried to make me feel small,
but it did not work at all,
In fact all that it made me was PISSED.

Modifié par siltsonata, 22 avril 2010 - 02:33 .

[kglaser]

Alraiis wrote...

kglaser wrote...

A virus? Sir, frankly, I scoff.
Of a virus, I was not warned off.
For in between strafing
I was just warned of chafing
And have suffered nary a cough.

I might not know the technical term
Be it parasite, virus, or germ
   But something's been amiss
   Since that passionate kiss
(And the time that she swallowed some... never mind.)

The turians, they may be dextro-
But that doesn't prevent having sex, so
I will just carry on
'Cause my feelings are strong
I'll thank you not to question my text, ho

[Peppard]

kglaser wrote...

Alraiis wrote...

kglaser wrote...

Jacob's getting a lot of bad press
I've been guilty of such, I confess
He's not all that bad
But his  wardrobe is sad
Should he borrow Shep's Little Black Dress?

You can't blame him for what he chose
(Though he does look quite awful in those)
   TIM spent of all his grants
   On your ship and implants
So he didn't have much left for clothes

Don't blame Shep for Jacob's weird smile
Or his clothing, which is, frankly, vile.
I mean, where are his hips?
And his freaky damn lips...
I think I'll go date the reptile.

Jacob dresses that way to be ready for a fight
he's wearing armor, even if it looks skin-tight
yes, he could be better dressed
and we'd all be impressed
if he borrowed TIM's suit for the  night



(Jacob)
So Shepard, you want to hear about my Ex?
Miranda's a good woman, but too complex
and not perfect for me
I need someone  carefree
Anyway, you want to watch my abs flex?

Look Shepard, I'll try to make this plain
If you want to talk, go hang on Thane
I don't want something deep
doesn't make me a creep
I just don't want to get hurt again

Hey Shepard, let's hit the Dark Star
time we spilled drinks on that bar
I'll pick up the tab
Get us a cab
Even though we don't have to walk far

[kglaser]

Peppard wrote...
 
Anyway, you want to watch my abs flex?

I lol'd

[Alraiis]

kglaser wrote...

The turians, they may be dextro-
But that doesn't prevent having sex, so
I will just carry on
'Cause my feelings are strong
I'll thank you not to question my text, ho

Oh, it might not be amino-based
I'm not trying to ****** off your 'base
   It's a whole separate issue
   And what it comes down to
Is Omega's not the cleanest place

[Peppard]

kglaser wrote...

I lol'd

Thanks That wasn't the first rhyme that came to mind of course
Jacob's easy to make fun of, but harder to understand.

If you need a limerick about mass effect
Just ask Alraiis, it'll be perfect
you'll giggle and smile
those rhymes have style
some even made me reflect


(Tali)
"Shepard, I'm so nervous, almost scared to ask,
but are you really ready to see behind my mask?"
"Don't worry my dear,
I drank Krogan beer
And I'm more than drunk enough for this task."
(Inspired by a very funny video someone posted)

Modifié par Peppard, 22 avril 2010 - 02:58 .

[kglaser]

Peppard wrote...

(Tali)
"Shepard, I'm so nervous, almost scared to ask,
but are you really ready to see behind my mask?"
"Don't worry my dear,
I drank Krogan beer
And I'm more than drunk enough for this task."
(Inspired by a very funny video someone posted)

I lol'd again

And:
The thread is not the issue here.
I should think that the issue is clear
Mordin said "don't ingest!"
yet my heart in my chest
Assures me I've nothing to fear.

[kglaser]

siltsonata wrote...


The Council talk went like this:
The "Reaper" claims were dismissed
Tried to make me feel small,
but it did not work at all,
In fact all that it made me was PISSED.

This made me LOL.

[Peppard]

The problem with Garrus is the lack of lips
Metallic skin also makes me worry about rips
sure, you bought that machine
to heal your scars up clean
But Dr. C might wonder why you need so many trips

[Alraiis]

kglaser wrote...

And:
The thread is not the issue here.
I should think that the issue is clear
Mordin said "don't ingest!"
yet my heart in my chest
Assures me I've nothing to fear.

If you write a rhyme, then I'll match it,
But kg, we should bury the hatchet
   On the lim'ricking art,
   I'm a purist at heart
If I can add a raw joke, I'll attach it
But I certainly don't wish it spoke
That there's anything wrong with your bloke
   He's my MaleShep's bro
   (And my FemShep's his ho)
All that virus stuff was just a joke