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[RigAudio]

Alraiis wrote...

Nightwriter wrote...

Alraiis, that stuff is HILARIOUS.

RigAudio deserves some credit
Few things have inspired as his thread did
   I await his replies
   But his absence implies
That he hasn't yet come back and read it

Apologies, those mose sincere
My music had taken my ear
  I'm so happy to see
  That this thread's filled with glee
I congratulate everyone here

[Festi]

Shep found the Cerberus crew a bit crass
He was glad Garrus took that pole out his *ss
  Then Shepard and Garrus went renegade
  And the Cerberus crew became lemonade
He'd grown tired of listening to their sass

[Reptilian Rob]

Lieutenant Flashlight wrote...

Reptilian Rob wrote...

Usually I'm not someone who's evil
But after this startling upheaval
It could not be fathomed
But It did make me orgasm
When I saw that picture of Garrus spread eagle

....

The pictures people make are terrible
Trust me when I say they are not credible
Just look the other way
Close your eyes for the day
And for god sakes don't think they are ******-able 

[Alraiis]

Ode to the Renegade Interrupt

Some krogans are stuck in your way?
Or a merc has got nothing to say?
   Stay alert and act quick:
   With a simple left-click
Good ol' Shepard can ruin their day

Say you find a batarian mechanic
"He can't fix that gunship!" you panic
   Just a click and you'll find
   He gets zapped from behind
Interruptions can be quite galvanic

Getting bored by a long-winded speech?
Even here, there's a lesson to teach
   It might look like you missed
   But that's when you insist
What you wanted was the gas tank breached

If these interrupts to you seem mean,
Think of them as a tactical scheme
   You'll kill 'em regardless,
   So it pays to be heartless
'Cause Shepard doesn't miss in cutscenes

[LiquidGrape]

Female Shepard had reason to pout,

Her sex life was suffering a drought,

Not Samara nor Jack,

Would cut her some slack,

She cried "why won't these bit**es put out?!"

[RigAudio]

The Collectors had taken my crew
I knew what I needed to do
  I went about-face
  Snuck into their base
And unleashed my Space Hamster, Boo.

[Peppard]

Female Shepard had reason to smile

most guys she'd romanced in awhile

a turian, and a drell

and Jacob, oh well

two out of three were her style

[Alraiis]

Liara hunts the Shadow Broker
And no feelings for me will provoke her
   Though she loved Shepard then,
   Now she's colder than Sten
Where's my Renegade option to choke her?

[RigAudio]

Peppard wrote...

Female Shepard had reason to smile
most guys she'd romanced in awhile
a turian, and a drell
and Jacob, oh well
two out of three were her style

Poor Jacob has tears in his eyes
No-one for his heart ever vies
  A quick extranet browse
  Turns up lines that arouse
Those ladies should fall for "the priiiiiiiiiiize"

[Alraiis]

RigAudio wrote...

Peppard wrote...

Female Shepard had reason to smile
most guys she'd romanced in awhile
a turian, and a drell
and Jacob, oh well
two out of three were her style

Poor Jacob has tears in his eyes
No-one for his heart ever vies
  A quick extranet browse
  Turns up lines that arouse
Those ladies should fall for "the priiiiiiiiiiize"

Jacob needs more than a line
Even Garrus knows to bring wine
   Seduction goes quicker
   With music and liquor
(Or a dead wife about whom you whine)

[1jp2nv]

RigAudio wrote...



The Collectors had taken my crew

I knew what I needed to do

  I went about-face

  Snuck into their base

And unleashed my Space Hamster, Boo.

LOLOLOLOL.........





Reapers like rain come down

Pound on grave and ground

Part vampire and warrior

Carnivore and voyeur

Shepard will silence their sound

[Peppard]

(Samara)



Samara hunts for justice, she will never rest

Swears by a code, thinks she always knows best

the story of her child is so tragic

but she lies, asari must have magic

there's no other explanation for her chest

RigAudio wrote...

Poor Jacob has tears in his eyes

No-one for his heart ever vies

A quick extranet browse

Turns up lines that arouse

Those ladies should fall for "the priiiiiiiiiiize"

There's one lady who would disagree

a cute little thief named Kasumi

she says he's intense

but maybe she's dense

he seems like a jerk to me

[Cerrydd]

Ok, my very first attempt XD. Makes no sense, but who cares.

Garrus the charmer brought some wine
He thought choosing this one would be just fine
  But when Shepard swallowed
  The cramps that followed
Were obviously not a good sign

Garrus panicked and didn't know what to do
He shouted "Don't die please, I love you!
  I wanted something to go right
  This very night
Now, can you please stop turning blue?"

Suddenly all cramps faded away
Shepard smiled and said, "Hey,
  The wine was sweet
  It's just what I need
But your music choice, it's kind of gay"

She walked to the console, turned the music off
Garrus was silent, let out an awkward cough
  "Don't worry Garrus,
   Nothing can stop us"
And the night was filled with making sweet love

[Alraiis]

Morinth is called an "ardat-yakshi"
Be careful: if you try to talk, she
   Will make you her servant
   If you're not observant
But it's worth it, 'cause damn that chick's foxy!

[Alraiis]

Cerrydd wrote...

Ok, my very first attempt XD. Makes no sense, but who cares.

Garrus the charmer brought some wine
He thought choosing this one would be just fine
  But when Shepard swallowed
  The cramps that followed
Were obviously not a good sign

Garrus panicked and didn't know what to do
He shouted "Don't die please, I love you!
  I wanted something to go right
  This very night
Now, can you please stop turning blue?"

Suddenly all cramps faded away
Shepard smiled and said, "Hey,
  The wine was sweet
  It's just what I need
But your music choice, it's kind of gay"

She walked to the console, turned the music off
Garrus was silent, let out an awkward cough
  "Don't worry Garrus,
   Nothing can stop us"
And the night was filled with making sweet love

Garrus had his target in sight
And asked Shepard to move to the right
   She moved to comply
   And Garrus let fly
(Not a bullet---this happened last night)

Modifié par Alraiis, 22 avril 2010 - 07:18 .

[Cerrydd]

My Shepard adopted an adorable baby
Although stepdad Garrus tends to disagree
  Baby loves eating
  So he keeps repeating
"Burning bodies... Anybody else hungry?"

It was Garrus' turn to feed the child
He made some food, not spicy, just mild
  But Grunt is krogan
  He doesn't like ramen
And the 'dead worms' drove him wild

He threw the bowl at Garrus' head
Garrus ducked, his pants almost wet
  He thought "Screw this",
  Gave the baby a kiss
And said "Let's have donuts instead"

[RazzlesAD]

Cerrydd, I love your limericks

[Alraiis]

The files that I gave to Jack did
Little but make her distracted
   All but one name and place
   Had been cleanly erased
So she called Miranda a [[REDACTED]]

[Peppard]

(Morinth)



Night after night, Morinth hunted her prey

She captivated them, then got her way

she lived for the thrill

of getting to kill

Until Shepard decided to play



Shepard entered the club looking quite fine

ordered a drink, some expensive wine

He caught Morinth's eye

kept her attention with a lie

Morinth thought she'd won, then surprise, "End of the line"



Shepard laughed "Yes, Samara told me your tricks"

"I know that you kill just for kicks"

Morinth was confused

"no one's ever refused"

Shepard shrugged, "Guess I'm just not into blue chicks"