The mission was well underway
And Garrus had come back to stay!
There were calibrations at hand
But I had to demand
That he calibrate me that day
Your Mass Effect Limericks
Débuté par
RigAudio
, avril 20 2010 07:04
Retour en haut
#202
Posté 30 avril 2010 - 04:11
RigAudio
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Miranda's as cold as a witch
And Jack kinda seems like a b*tch
It looked like an omen
To lay with they Yeoman
But then I came down with Scale Itch
And Jack kinda seems like a b*tch
It looked like an omen
To lay with they Yeoman
But then I came down with Scale Itch
Modifié par RigAudio, 01 mai 2010 - 09:39 .
#203
Posté 30 avril 2010 - 04:27
Festi
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Though it leaves me fairly amused
Maybe Kelly is unfairly abused
To assume bestiality
When in reality
The mess Sergeant would be fairly accused
Maybe Kelly is unfairly abused
To assume bestiality
When in reality
The mess Sergeant would be fairly accused
Modifié par Festi, 30 avril 2010 - 04:27 .
#204
Posté 30 avril 2010 - 03:10
Wentletrap
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With Kasumi I try to converse.
Alas, all her lines are so terse.
I loved the assault
we led on Hock's vault...
Now, how can I get into hers?
-----------------------------------------------------
When Ashley and I used to chat,
I thought her a petulant brat.
On Virmire I said
I chose Kaidan instead -
Our relationship bombed after that.
-----------------------------------------------------
I once knew a merc named Zaeed,
he was nasty, and scarred, and one-eye-eed.
His scenes made me yawn,
so I went paragon,
and laughed at Zaeed, as he die-eed.
Alas, all her lines are so terse.
I loved the assault
we led on Hock's vault...
Now, how can I get into hers?
-----------------------------------------------------
When Ashley and I used to chat,
I thought her a petulant brat.
On Virmire I said
I chose Kaidan instead -
Our relationship bombed after that.
-----------------------------------------------------
I once knew a merc named Zaeed,
he was nasty, and scarred, and one-eye-eed.
His scenes made me yawn,
so I went paragon,
and laughed at Zaeed, as he die-eed.
Modifié par Wentletrap, 30 avril 2010 - 03:12 .
#205
Posté 30 avril 2010 - 03:20
DigitalMaster37
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Not normally a man heartbroken
Yet when he went to see his love's token
before he could interrupt
she was putting people in cups
Shepard's still in shock, jaw wide open
Yet when he went to see his love's token
before he could interrupt
she was putting people in cups
Shepard's still in shock, jaw wide open
Modifié par Deltaboy37-1, 30 avril 2010 - 03:25 .
#206
Posté 30 avril 2010 - 09:33
ihavetogo
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- 62 messages
kasumi has been accused
stealing keeps her amused
she said "just for the lulz
i will steal these sea gulls"
poor shepard is still confused
stealing keeps her amused
she said "just for the lulz
i will steal these sea gulls"
poor shepard is still confused
#207
Posté 01 mai 2010 - 09:38
RigAudio
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My limerick seemed off when I read it
I had a good fix, to my credit
But there's lots on my plate
And I realized too late
I had clicked "quote" when I meant to edit.
I had a good fix, to my credit
But there's lots on my plate
And I realized too late
I had clicked "quote" when I meant to edit.
Modifié par RigAudio, 01 mai 2010 - 09:45 .
#208
Posté 01 mai 2010 - 09:42
kglaser
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Wentletrap wrote...
-----------------------------------------------------
I once knew a merc named Zaeed,
he was nasty, and scarred, and one-eye-eed.
His scenes made me yawn,
so I went paragon,
and laughed at Zaeed, as he die-eed.
OK, I like Zaeed, but this is tight.
#209
Posté 03 mai 2010 - 03:46
Wentletrap
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I think my most favorite Quarian
has got to be Admiral Daro Xen.
Her small role’s a shame…
do you think there’s a game
where I'd get to hear her voice more/again?
-----------------------------------------------------
I miss my first friend in this game,
and Richard Jenkins was his name.
The poor guy got owned
By a level one drone
in one of the first cutscene frames.
-----------------------------------------------------
Shepard and Kaidan were gay
and frolicked in the cargo bay.
As Kaidan ins
rted
Shep comically blurted
in monotone voice, “Probe away”.
-----------------------------------------------------
I rescued my crewmates and Chakwas
and sent them towards where the dock was.
Too bad I denied them
a squadmate to guide them,
so fatal for them, their last walk was.
has got to be Admiral Daro Xen.
Her small role’s a shame…
do you think there’s a game
where I'd get to hear her voice more/again?
-----------------------------------------------------
I miss my first friend in this game,
and Richard Jenkins was his name.
The poor guy got owned
By a level one drone
in one of the first cutscene frames.
-----------------------------------------------------
Shepard and Kaidan were gay
and frolicked in the cargo bay.
As Kaidan ins
rtedShep comically blurted
in monotone voice, “Probe away”.
-----------------------------------------------------
I rescued my crewmates and Chakwas
and sent them towards where the dock was.
Too bad I denied them
a squadmate to guide them,
so fatal for them, their last walk was.
Modifié par Wentletrap, 04 juillet 2010 - 05:15 .
#210
Posté 03 mai 2010 - 09:42
Ooga600
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I once knew a lass named Jack
I thought she'd stab me in the back
So we took a trip
To a collector ship
And Jack won't be coming back
I thought she'd stab me in the back
So we took a trip
To a collector ship
And Jack won't be coming back
#211
Posté 04 mai 2010 - 09:38
Wentletrap
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There once was a 'Zorah named Rael
whose plan for The Fleet was quite fail.
He got his ship killed
by trying to rebuild
some parts Tali sent in the mail.
-----------------------------------------------------
I went to see Chakwas the doctor.
With ice brandy I had restocked her.
We drank and we schmoozed,
and I was amused
when into a stupor it knocked her.
-----------------------------------------------------
'Twas Wally's first day at his work
at Dantius Towers as a merc.
He earned a cutscene
when he acted mean
to Shepard, who then went berzerk.
whose plan for The Fleet was quite fail.
He got his ship killed
by trying to rebuild
some parts Tali sent in the mail.
-----------------------------------------------------
I went to see Chakwas the doctor.
With ice brandy I had restocked her.
We drank and we schmoozed,
and I was amused
when into a stupor it knocked her.
-----------------------------------------------------
'Twas Wally's first day at his work
at Dantius Towers as a merc.
He earned a cutscene
when he acted mean
to Shepard, who then went berzerk.
#212
Posté 05 mai 2010 - 05:03
Wentletrap
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When Mass Effect 3 is announced,
I hope that the plot’s more pronounced.
Each choice that we made,
the hours we played,
should lead to an outcome that counts.
-----------------------------------------------------
When Mass Effect 3 is released,
I hope we will see, that at least
the devs give a crap
‘bout a Citadel map
whose size is restored, or increased.
-----------------------------------------------------
When Mass Effect 3 hits the shelves,
the Quarians may show themselves.
Now Bio, I’m loyal,
but it’d pi$$ me off royal
if you made them look like Night Elves.
-----------------------------------------------------
When Mass Effect 3 is unfurled,
Ms. Vas Normandy is my girl.
I’ll make her my spouse
and build her a house
somewhere on the Quarian world.
I hope that the plot’s more pronounced.
Each choice that we made,
the hours we played,
should lead to an outcome that counts.
-----------------------------------------------------
When Mass Effect 3 is released,
I hope we will see, that at least
the devs give a crap
‘bout a Citadel map
whose size is restored, or increased.
-----------------------------------------------------
When Mass Effect 3 hits the shelves,
the Quarians may show themselves.
Now Bio, I’m loyal,
but it’d pi$$ me off royal
if you made them look like Night Elves.
-----------------------------------------------------
When Mass Effect 3 is unfurled,
Ms. Vas Normandy is my girl.
I’ll make her my spouse
and build her a house
somewhere on the Quarian world.
#213
Posté 05 mai 2010 - 05:47
Images
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There once was a man, Jacob Taylor
Who wore captain hats like a sailor
Heavy Risk were his tries
In winning The Prize
But his attempts at romance were a failure.
Who wore captain hats like a sailor
Heavy Risk were his tries
In winning The Prize
But his attempts at romance were a failure.
Modifié par Images, 05 mai 2010 - 05:54 .
#214
Posté 05 mai 2010 - 05:53
Images
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A councillor of Turian race
Disbelieved there were monsters in space
"Ah Reapers", a shame
He'd "dismissed that claim"
Because now I'll punch out his face.
Disbelieved there were monsters in space
"Ah Reapers", a shame
He'd "dismissed that claim"
Because now I'll punch out his face.
#215
Posté 05 mai 2010 - 06:03
JediHealerCosmin
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- 2 289 messages
A company rose to fame,
After making an excellent game.
Bioware they call themselves,
And I've got many of their products in my shelves.
They work hard and create great things,
Even with EA pulling some strings.
In 2003 it all began,
When i had the first Kotor in my hand.
A new world was opened to me,
The day when games started to have a story.
And what a great tale it was, divided in many parts,
So great that Revan will remain in our hearts.
Their universe expanded,
And I was grateful that their work had not ended.
They became more bolder,
As I became much older.
When 2008 was set in place,
They released a new adventure deep in space.
This particular beauty was called Mass Effect,
And it's protagonist was a guy named Shep.
By starting to scan some things called Keepers,
He then saved everyone from the Reapers.
This game easily became a classic,
Like Daniel Ericksson says: "It's magic!"
Later, they took us to a past,
Where races had to unite in order to last.
Dragon Age redefined the RPG genre,
And it indeed gave me something to ponder.
Their artists, composers and writers are so talented
That they actually made my heart sank when it ended.
Commander Shepard had then returned,
Not just ten minutes and he got burned.
But, like a phoenix, he rose from death,
Knowing that he had a lot of adventures left.
Regarding my respect for this game, people have asked "why?"
Very simple:
It was the first game to make me cry.
"BioWare" by Cosmin
After making an excellent game.
Bioware they call themselves,
And I've got many of their products in my shelves.
They work hard and create great things,
Even with EA pulling some strings.
In 2003 it all began,
When i had the first Kotor in my hand.
A new world was opened to me,
The day when games started to have a story.
And what a great tale it was, divided in many parts,
So great that Revan will remain in our hearts.
Their universe expanded,
And I was grateful that their work had not ended.
They became more bolder,
As I became much older.
When 2008 was set in place,
They released a new adventure deep in space.
This particular beauty was called Mass Effect,
And it's protagonist was a guy named Shep.
By starting to scan some things called Keepers,
He then saved everyone from the Reapers.
This game easily became a classic,
Like Daniel Ericksson says: "It's magic!"
Later, they took us to a past,
Where races had to unite in order to last.
Dragon Age redefined the RPG genre,
And it indeed gave me something to ponder.
Their artists, composers and writers are so talented
That they actually made my heart sank when it ended.
Commander Shepard had then returned,
Not just ten minutes and he got burned.
But, like a phoenix, he rose from death,
Knowing that he had a lot of adventures left.
Regarding my respect for this game, people have asked "why?"
Very simple:
It was the first game to make me cry.
"BioWare" by Cosmin
#216
Posté 05 mai 2010 - 07:26
JediHealerCosmin
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- Members
- 2 289 messages
The Collectors needed to be taught a lesson,
And so they sent Shepard on a suicide mission.
Towards the Omega 4 relay he was headed,
But upgrades, patience and comrades were needed.
And so his adventure got better,
When he started to put a team together.
Miranda Lawson, with beauty, brilliance and charm,
But also biotics and leadership that would cause a lot of harm.
Jacob Taylor, a soldier and a friend,
His skills and courage would be their enemies' end.
Mordin Solus was the genius of their team,
His reflexes and thinking would make any Collector scream.
Kasumi Goto, the Master Thief,
Though sneaky and powerful, she was a good friend to the chief.
When the fighting would get tough, and they would start to bleed,
They hired a strong mercenary, Massani Zaeed.
Friends were returning, heroes were needed, it was a fact,
And of all of them, Garrus Vakarian was back.
Tali'Zorah also returned, she would not cower,
And her love for Shepard gave her power.
The fury of a strong krogan is deadly as an axe,
And with Grunt at their side, the team could relax.
Subject Zero was recruited out of need,
But her powers and nature make her a real teammate indeed.
When death is certain, it's important to have faith,
Enter Thane Krios, pledging to keep them all safe.
The justicar Samara joined later on,
Promising to fight until the evil was gone.
The Geth offered their help when they were ready,
"My name is Legion, for we are many".
The board was set, the pieces in place,
And the Normandy launched into space.
"Companions" by Cosmin
And so they sent Shepard on a suicide mission.
Towards the Omega 4 relay he was headed,
But upgrades, patience and comrades were needed.
And so his adventure got better,
When he started to put a team together.
Miranda Lawson, with beauty, brilliance and charm,
But also biotics and leadership that would cause a lot of harm.
Jacob Taylor, a soldier and a friend,
His skills and courage would be their enemies' end.
Mordin Solus was the genius of their team,
His reflexes and thinking would make any Collector scream.
Kasumi Goto, the Master Thief,
Though sneaky and powerful, she was a good friend to the chief.
When the fighting would get tough, and they would start to bleed,
They hired a strong mercenary, Massani Zaeed.
Friends were returning, heroes were needed, it was a fact,
And of all of them, Garrus Vakarian was back.
Tali'Zorah also returned, she would not cower,
And her love for Shepard gave her power.
The fury of a strong krogan is deadly as an axe,
And with Grunt at their side, the team could relax.
Subject Zero was recruited out of need,
But her powers and nature make her a real teammate indeed.
When death is certain, it's important to have faith,
Enter Thane Krios, pledging to keep them all safe.
The justicar Samara joined later on,
Promising to fight until the evil was gone.
The Geth offered their help when they were ready,
"My name is Legion, for we are many".
The board was set, the pieces in place,
And the Normandy launched into space.
"Companions" by Cosmin
Modifié par JediHealerCosmin, 05 mai 2010 - 07:27 .
#217
Posté 06 mai 2010 - 05:05
fable13
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- Members
- 9 messages
JediHealerCosmin wrote...
Commander Shepard had then returned,
Not just ten minutes and he got burned.
But, like a phoenix, he rose from death,
Knowing that he had a lot of adventures left.
Regarding my respect for this game, people have asked "why?"
Very simple:
It was the first game to make me cry.
"BioWare" by Cosmin
i completely agree with cosmin
this game is a complete win
with a tear in my eye
i let out a sigh.
fantastic game, not playing is a sin
this is the fist game that has caught my heart strings
knowing my team-mates and all their things
though i have not complete DA:O yet
i still cannot forget
the feeling i had when i saw the crashed normandy actually stings
#218
Posté 06 mai 2010 - 04:19
Wentletrap
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- 659 messages
My friends, I must take all the blame
for spamming this thread with no shame.
But creative writing
I find quite exciting -
sometimes much more so than the game.
-----------------------------------------------------
Blasto the first Hanar Spectre
joined Shepard to fight the Collectors.
But his slimy wet skin
was what did him in
when he tried out his new Arc Projector.
------------------------------------------------------
I once met a smuggler named Ish.
"Please go get my stuff", was his wish.
For a Mass Effect quest,
I was actually impressed -
beats talking to Krogan ‘bout fish.
-----------------------------------------------------
Samara is dressed up the hottest.
Her clothing is sleek and immodest.
In Part Three one day,
I hope that I may
find peace in the embrace of that bodice.
for spamming this thread with no shame.
But creative writing
I find quite exciting -
sometimes much more so than the game.
-----------------------------------------------------
Blasto the first Hanar Spectre
joined Shepard to fight the Collectors.
But his slimy wet skin
was what did him in
when he tried out his new Arc Projector.
------------------------------------------------------
I once met a smuggler named Ish.
"Please go get my stuff", was his wish.
For a Mass Effect quest,
I was actually impressed -
beats talking to Krogan ‘bout fish.
-----------------------------------------------------
Samara is dressed up the hottest.
Her clothing is sleek and immodest.
In Part Three one day,
I hope that I may
find peace in the embrace of that bodice.
Modifié par Wentletrap, 04 juillet 2010 - 06:04 .
#219
Posté 07 mai 2010 - 04:09
Wentletrap
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- 659 messages
In each mission, Jack always tends
to die many times ‘ere it ends.
Wish I could have chosen
to leave her a@@ frozen
and use her and Grunt as bookends.
-----------------------------------------------------
I don’t like the Volus one bit,
they're always seen having a fit.
They act so dramatic,
and wheeze like asthmatics,
eventually losing their… chit.
-----------------------------------------------------
I’ve grown more and more to like Tali
since we met in that Citadel alley
I sure hope she’s cute
Once out of that suit
Or it might be one awkward finale.
to die many times ‘ere it ends.
Wish I could have chosen
to leave her a@@ frozen
and use her and Grunt as bookends.
-----------------------------------------------------
I don’t like the Volus one bit,
they're always seen having a fit.
They act so dramatic,
and wheeze like asthmatics,
eventually losing their… chit.
-----------------------------------------------------
I’ve grown more and more to like Tali
since we met in that Citadel alley
I sure hope she’s cute
Once out of that suit
Or it might be one awkward finale.
Modifié par Wentletrap, 04 juillet 2010 - 05:17 .
#220
Posté 07 mai 2010 - 04:11
Wentletrap
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- 659 messages
I’ve no more ill will towards Cerberus,
and no longer care if they’re murderous.
My hatred subsided
the day they provided
the lovely Ms. Lawson to nurture us.
-----------------------------------------------------
Miranda and Jacob once were
both lovers, from what I infer.
How strange to realize
that line “but the PRIZE”
somehow must have once worked on her.
-----------------------------------------------------
Oh Miri, your body’s a wonder,
a booty that I love to plunder.
And sweet is your voice,
which makes me rejoice
when I hear it come from down under.
and no longer care if they’re murderous.
My hatred subsided
the day they provided
the lovely Ms. Lawson to nurture us.
-----------------------------------------------------
Miranda and Jacob once were
both lovers, from what I infer.
How strange to realize
that line “but the PRIZE”
somehow must have once worked on her.
-----------------------------------------------------
Oh Miri, your body’s a wonder,
a booty that I love to plunder.
And sweet is your voice,
which makes me rejoice
when I hear it come from down under.
#221
Posté 09 mai 2010 - 01:57
NvVanity
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- 1 517 messages
I feel like Shepard should be the prez,
The one controlling everything in the fez,
He seems to do everything,
Mainly the fighting,
Perhaps I shouldn't have named him Ramirez.
(Ramirez DO EVERYTHING!)
The one controlling everything in the fez,
He seems to do everything,
Mainly the fighting,
Perhaps I shouldn't have named him Ramirez.
(Ramirez DO EVERYTHING!)
#222
Posté 09 mai 2010 - 02:04
kglaser
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- Members
- 7 341 messages
This thread I have too long neglected
But it seems to have been resurrected.
This I'm happy to see
As I'm nuts for ME
"Dead thread"? This claim I have rejected.
But it seems to have been resurrected.
This I'm happy to see
As I'm nuts for ME
"Dead thread"? This claim I have rejected.
#223
Posté 10 mai 2010 - 04:19
Wentletrap
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- 659 messages
The Collectors assumed that their goal was
to try and directly control us.
But they picked the wrong prey –
none would oppose if they
made a Reaper instead out of Volus.
-----------------------------------------------------
For Thane Krios, Jane Shepard fell.
Between the sheets, he’d ring her bell.
At night the assassin
would ride her with passion
as she cried out “Drell, baby, Drell!”
-----------------------------------------------------
My lovely Liara, I wish you
had let me do more than just kiss you.
Alas, as it stands,
I’m left with my hands
and pics from this month’s Fornax issue.
to try and directly control us.
But they picked the wrong prey –
none would oppose if they
made a Reaper instead out of Volus.
-----------------------------------------------------
For Thane Krios, Jane Shepard fell.
Between the sheets, he’d ring her bell.
At night the assassin
would ride her with passion
as she cried out “Drell, baby, Drell!”
-----------------------------------------------------
My lovely Liara, I wish you
had let me do more than just kiss you.
Alas, as it stands,
I’m left with my hands
and pics from this month’s Fornax issue.
#224
Posté 11 mai 2010 - 03:02
Ungasa33
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- Members
- 8 messages
I though Miranda's bubble would guide me with ease,
but unfortunately she was unable to please.
"Oh what was that!? What was that!?" cried Thane,
and following that it caused me great pain,
hearing him scream "NOT THE BEES NOT THE BEES!"
Based off a rather entertaining youtube vid
www.youtube.com/watch
but unfortunately she was unable to please.
"Oh what was that!? What was that!?" cried Thane,
and following that it caused me great pain,
hearing him scream "NOT THE BEES NOT THE BEES!"
Based off a rather entertaining youtube vid
www.youtube.com/watch
Modifié par Ungasa33, 11 mai 2010 - 03:07 .
#225
Posté 11 mai 2010 - 03:26
kglaser
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- Members
- 7 341 messages
(disclaimer: I am so, so sorry.)
ME2 has romances galore
But none did involve the elcor.
Nor the hanar, batarian
Geth, or salarian
Thank goodness for Rule 34.
ME2 has romances galore
But none did involve the elcor.
Nor the hanar, batarian
Geth, or salarian
Thank goodness for Rule 34.
