17 réponses à ce sujet

[t3HPrO]

While playing through ME2, I realized that there are a WHOLE LOTTA hilarious one-liners and random moments. So I thought, 'hey reminds me of Horatio Caine in CSI:Miami', so I decided to do some one liners. Enjoy, and post your own funny stuff.

Alexx:"Hey H, looks like Miranda and Jack hated each other so much that they flung each other against the walls telekinetically. Both died of septic shock when their bloodstreams got infected from their head wounds."
Horatio:"Well Alexx, Miss Lawson and Miss Jack should've..." *puts on sunglasses* "...taken some anti-biotics."
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Miranda:"Shepard honey, the Admiralty Board just exiled Tali from the Fleet."
Shepard:"Well Miri, it looks like the Admiralty Board just issued..." *puts on Sentry Interface* "...a Tali-Ban."
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tali:"It's impossible to get our homeworld back Keelah... there's at least 30 million geth orbiting the planet."
Shepard:"Well then, it looks like you poor Quarians'll never..." *puts on Umbra Visor* "...geth Rannoch back."
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Miranda and Shepard launch a coup against the Illusive Man*
Illusive Man:"Miranda, what are you doing?!"
Miranda:"Well...I am..." *puts on sunglasses* "...assuming direct control."
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Shepard stabs a merc to death*
Miranda:"...Wow.Was that necessary?"
Shepard:"It was completely necessary for him..." *puts on Sentry Interface* "...to get my point."
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Shepard freezes some Collectors with the Avalanche*
Shepard:"Whoo, done."
Miranda:"Looks like they really should..." *puts on Sentry Interface* "...chill out."
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*At Purgatory*
Shepard:"I'm hacking it. Be ready."
*Hiss of liquid nitrogen being released*
*Captain Jack Sparrow is revealed*
Miranda:" THAT'S JACK?!!"
Jack:"Sticks and stones, love."

Garrus:"You do know that Quarians and Turians are completely able to have interspecies sex and produce children right?"
Tali:"I have a shotgun... and I'm loading the heat sink."
Garrus:"...Point taken.Maybe...we'll talk later."

[Sailears]

I think you might find this thread of interest.

[t3HPrO]

Thanks...where the hell were the sunglasses though?

[smecky-kitteh]

 shepar tali and the urdnot scout

shepard: you? i said a krogan not some scout whining like a quarian with a tummy ache

tali: im standing right here!

bringing legion on the flotilla

some people call tali *finger quotes "that thing" when we visit ports

garrus on mordins loyalty mission

garrus: hospitals are not fun to fight through

shepard: what is fun to fight through?

garrus: gardens, gift shops, electronic stores but only if there classy.


thanes loyalty mission *my favorite*

docks worker: hey! what are you doing here?!

shepard: what am i doing here? what are you doing here?

dock worker: what?

shepard: quick! run before it blows!

dock worker: blows? what the...

shepard: quick! run!

dock worker: alright! *runs for his life*

shepard: *evil chuckle* i cant believe that actually worked.

[Tlazolteotl]

Why did the Quarian cross the road?

[t3HPrO]

Why?

[t3HPrO]

Tlazolteotl wrote...

Why did the Quarian cross the road?

Why'd he/she cross it? To geth something?

[stdepriest]

t3HPrO wrote...

Thanks...where the hell were the sunglasses though?

If you have ever watched CSI: Miami, the character of Horatio is always doing something with his sunglasses.

I can see him now:  Standing with hands on hips, legs slightly spread and looking up at the sky.
"What have we got, Frank?"

Saying the quotes in my head as delivered by David Caruso makes them LOL.

[VampireCommando]

OMG OP that was epicly done

[Failmaster9000]

want to hear a joke? Jacob.

thats the joke

[SuperMedbh]

Garrus always makes me laugh-- take him to the plague district and he'll say "A quarantine zone with a plague that kills turians. Why can't we go anywhere nice?"

[penp]

I have to say this was probably my favorite:



Legion: Geth do not - intentionally - infiltrate.

[t3HPrO]

Neofelis Nebulosa wrote...

You Sir, are a joke!

OnTopic:

What's a Batarian doing with a Gunship?

Working too hard.

BAZAAP!!!

[Tlazolteotl]

t3HPrO wrote...

Tlazolteotl wrote...

Why did the Quarian cross the road?

Why'd he/she cross it? To geth something?

'cos she has chicken feet!

[thedekker]

HAHA more CSI Miami jokes!! Those are GREAT

[t3HPrO]

Oh, here's another one.

*Shepard kills a merc who wounded Miranda with the Avalanche*

Shepard: "Hope you feel better now, Miri."

Miranda: "I do. Because revenge is a dish..." *strips to check on wound* "...best served ice cold."

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH