194 réponses à ce sujet

[VioletTheirin]

Yay! Love the bees, though the thought of a torturous death by bee sting is not all that appealing to me....being deathly allergic and all; but knowing just exactly how horrible that particular allergy is makes the thought of those bastards dying by it all that much sweeter!

[Gilgamesh1138]

Thanks sweet girl!

[Slim Warden]

The whole idea of being stung to death by bees was a nice little bit of dialogue (considering I've never been bee stung before I can only imagine) and Duncan's interaction with Kai is well done Gil.

So I'm just going to anxiously count the days til you're next chapter.

[LadyAly]

I really envy your creativity Gil. The idea with the bees - OMG - so great.

I'm going along with Slim - ***So I'm just going to anxiously count the days til you're next chapter.***

[westiex9]

I loved that last chapter Gil, the way you describe the Cousland family life really makes the rest of the story so much more tragic, the bit where you describe Oren's toys and his death is really Sad  


ill probably have to go and kill Howe with the Sword of Truthiness....Again....

Can't wait to see where kai's adventures lead her next!

Modifié par westiex9, 21 juin 2010 - 12:19 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

ROFL! Thanks guys! I was feeling bummed about the last chapter. Not much in the way of feedback on FF.net, and then you all come to the forum and you all showed me love! You made my day! Next chapter coming up...

[VioletTheirin]

BUMP. Must bring Gil to the masses!!

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 10

~Cutting Deep~

WARNING! Super angsty chapter.  Just thought you ought to know.

They traveled for a week, maybe more, stopping only when darkness fell and hitting the road again by first light. 

And quite frankly, Kai couldn’t have cared less if it had rained or snowed or fire had fallen from the sky.  She

was numb during the day.  Walking such long distances helped with that.  Putting one foot in front of the other

took on monumental importance.  It was easy to concentrate on nothing else and keep her mind blank. 
 
But after a few days when the walking became easier as her body had gotten used to it, the physical exhaustion that

had allowed her a dreamless sleep was no longer there.  Then, the dreams began in earnest.  Being chased through

Highever in her shift and no weapons, and forgetting she knew how to fight was the mildest.  Her brain rarely gave

her the “nice one” as she had come to call it.  Instead it seemed intent on tormenting her.  There were the dreams

where she was forced to relive that night in gruesome detail or the dream where her brain made up what happened to

her parents (soldiers holding her mother down while her father had to watch) or Howe’s men hacking Gilly into

pieces.  They were all horrid and woke her from sleep without question.  The one that was the worst started off as

lovely.  She would be in Highever castle, and her mind would make her believe that she really had dreamed all the

horrors of that night, that she was really home and everyone was safe and alive.  The dream would lure her into a

sense of joy and relief.  She would be so happy...until Oren’s sweet little boy voice would pop up from behind

telling her he had an “owie” and asking would his auntie fix it for him.  And without fail she would turn to find

her nephew with pale skin, hollows where his eyes should have been, sunken cheeks and a huge spot of black blood on

his front.  He would tilt that skeletal head on his emaciated neck and beg her with blue lips to fix it.  She would

back away and start running with him following after her begging.  Then the others would join in – Mother, Father,

Oriana, Dairren, Lady Landra, Gilly.  All dead and with no eyes, all begging her to fix it until she ran to the

kitchens.  And there Nan would be, same as the rest, a walking corpse, but she wouldn’t ask Kai to fix it, she

would just point and ask if Kai remembered the tale of Hohaku.  And that dream wouldn’t let her wake until she got

to Nan.  She had to go through the whole scenario over and over again.
 
That particular nocturnal specter came to be the one that haunted her the most.  No sooner would she close her eyes

than it would start.  And the feelings of guilt would linger long after she awoke.  She would lie down wrapped in

her blanket and pretend to sleep.  She would try and stay awake for as long as she could, but that only lasted so

long before her eyelids drooped and she found herself in that cruel mockery of home.  It was no more than she

deserved she supposed.  She hadn’t protected her sister-in-law or her nephew, and she wouldn’t blame Fergus if he

never forgave her.  She hadn’t saved Dairren or his mother.  She hadn’t saved Gilly or her parents; instead, she

left them all to save herself.  She cursed herself for promising her father that she would live.  And the more she

thought about it, the more angered she was that Duncan had blackmailed her father into making her a Grey Warden. 

She would have Joined, but to hold a supposed friend’s fear for the safety of his wife and child as incentive? 

That thought kept wiggling in her head like a worm in a rotten apple. 
 
So, she pushed down all her anger and her fear, her pain and her grief, and she locked it all away in a box and

threw it into the inner recesses of the well of her soul.  The guilt was the only thing she couldn’t seem to shove

away.  And it kept getting worse, so much so that her days were becoming haunted too.  She kept hearing the little

voice in her head that told her she should have stayed, should have told Duncan to sod off.  The voice loved to

tell her in sly little whispers that she should have fought alongside her mother until the end.  She would be free

and in the Fade with all of them if she had.  The nasty little imp in her head giggled and laughed and told her it

was too late; Fergus was probably dead too.  Howe must have sent someone to get him and now she was going to have

to live with it.  The little sing song murmur kept telling her that she was all alone now.  Alone, alone, alone it

repeated with each footstep and continued until she couldn’t sleep for hearing nothing but the echo bouncing around

in her head.  She was tormented when she was awake and when she was asleep.  Damned if she did, and damned if she

didn’t.  It didn’t seem to matter.
 
So when Duncan had them stopping at an inn in the Bannorn of Rainesfere, Kai was more than happy to stop walking

and hoped that sleeping in a bed would make the nightmares stop, if only for a night.  Andraste’s holy knickers,

what she wouldn’t do for one night of dreamless sleep.  Maybe then the little voice would, Maker’s blood, also shut

up.  Duncan had insisted that they walk around Lake Calenhad to the western bannorn of Bann Teagan as they both

knew that Teagan was loyal to Cailan and an honest man.  They would book passage on a boat across the lake to

Redcliffe, and then they could continue to the Hinterlands and to Ostagar.  This small bit of information was the

most they had conversed since leaving Highever.  Other than informing her of his reasons for taking the longer

route, Duncan seemed content to leave her be. 
 
The dry Fereldan summer had given way to unseasonable rains turning the roads to small rivers filled with boot-

sucking mud.  They checked into an Inn near Lake Calenhad called the Hunter’s Horn.  Kai, in her mentally and

physically exhausted state, had a moment to wonder which horn on the hunter they meant.  She stifled the urge to

giggle hysterically.  Duncan turned to look at her.  Well, maybe she hadn’t restrained it enough.  She thought she

might be losing her mind; she figured it for a short trip if she was.  She stifled another bit of laughter bubbling

in her throat.  Her physical and mental fatigue gave the world a surreal quality.  She had a wild thought, Can I

die from suppressing grief?  She supposed if one could, then she was well on her way.  Again she swallowed her

mirth biting her lower lip so hard it drew blood; she could taste a sudden spurt of salt. 
 
Both she and Duncan had taken what could loosely be called a bath in the River Dane and then dressed in the

civilian clothes from their packs.  Kai had been right about the clothing of her father and her brother.  Duncan

was broader in the shoulders like Fergus, but the same height as her father.  ‘Had been’, her father ‘had been’ the

same height as Duncan, she had to keep reminding herself.  So Duncan dressed in her father’s pants and Fergus’s

shirts.  She didn’t know how hard it would be to see him in their clothes or how painful washing all the blood off

would be after realizing she had mixed the blood of her loved ones with the blood of the scum sucking bottom

dwellers that had killed them.  Funny how it felt as though she could still feel Dairren’s blood on her feet and

hands, and her father’s too.  It would never come out, not even the blood of those she hadn’t touched, like Oriana

or Oren or her mother.  She was marked with it, branded with it.
 
Kai was grateful that she and Duncan had managed to bathe and change, as the inn was a clean and well run

establishment.  She wondered if they might have been asked to leave if they had come in sweaty, bloody and in

armor.  The place, despite its name’s double entendre, appeared to be the ‘wholesome’ type of abode rather than,

say, a place like The Pearl in Denerim.  Like The Pearl, however, this inn seemed to cater to all whether human,

elven or dwarven.  With the proximity of Rainesfere to the Frostback Mountains, there were quite a few dwarven

merchants in the common room. 
 
Kai and Argus waited while Duncan spoke to the barkeep, a tall beanstalk of a man with a thin mustache, receding

hairline and a square jaw, who nodded and went to the kitchens.  He returned with a red faced, frizzy, brown haired

slip of a woman with a sharp face and a sharp tongue, if the barkeep’s red face and scowl were anything to go by. 

Kai watched Duncan speak with her, even turning to point out Kai and her Mabari.  The innkeeper’s eyes flickered to

the well-behaved Argus for a brief moment before she held up two fingers and tilting her head in their direction. 

Kai also watched as Duncan spoke for a brief moment more and the woman waved her hands in the direction of Lake

Calenhad, nodding.  Duncan smiled, gave her a bow and handed out two sovereigns and a few silver.  She nodded to

the barkeep who reached under the counter and placed two big black keys on its surface. 
 
He returned, “Madam Prunella has assured us two adjoining rooms, hot baths, and both supper and a full breakfast

tomorrow.”  He nodded towards the stairs.  “She has also promised that our very wet clothes will be washed and

ready by morning.  And Argus is allowed to stay in the inn, for a small extra amount of coin of course.”  He smiled

at her, “I suggest we get changed into something dry and eat our supper while they heat water and fill the tubs.” 
 
Kai and Argus followed Duncan from the top of the stairs down the hallway to the two rooms tucked in the left side

of ‘T’ intersection.  She noted that the rooms were in close proximity to the back stairs probably leading to the

outdoor dining area and beer garden.  Duncan was a clever man, putting them close to an exit for a quick and easy

escape if needs be.  He handed her a heavy iron key with the number of the room engraved on it.  The metal was

smooth and worn, as if handled by many generations of hands.  Kai took the proffered key, put it in the lock and

turned it.  She stepped inside with Argus and Duncan at her heels.  The room was small but neat and clean.  Duncan

stepped over to the door on the left hand wall, shot the bolt and walked into the other bedroom.
 
Kai gratefully set down her packs and relieved Argus of his.  Duncan smiled and closed the door after nodding

toward the bags she had set down indicating she should change her clothes.  Kai dug into her packs and pulled out a

linen tunic and a doeskin leggings. She stripped out of her wet clothes and winced as they made a splatting noise

when they hit the wooden floor.  As if in response a roll of thunder rumbled through the walls of the inn, and she

could hear the rain change from a soft pat-pat to a downpour so loud that a conversation would have been drowned

out even if the two conversing stood directly in front of one another.  She took a look around the room and was

relieved to see that there were no leaks from the roof.  The inn was solid and well built. 
 
Kai didn’t know what to do with her wet clothes.  She couldn’t hang them out the window and wring them out. And

there was nothing to wring the water into inside the room save the chamber pot.  So, she pulled it out from under

the bed and wrung the items out as best she could.  She left the sodden clothes on the floor next to the bed.  She

opened the window and threw the water out of the chamber pot before putting it back under the bed.
 
With a pat on her leg and a soft whistle, she called Argus to heel.  She knocked on the door adjoining their rooms,

and Duncan’s voice called her to come in.  When she opened the door it was to find him writing at the writing

desk.  He covered the letter with a clean piece of parchment and rose to greet her, smiling and offering his arm,

“Shall we?”.  Kai took his arm more out of training as a noble than with any real thought.  She was so exhausted,

her brain seemed encased in ice. 
 
The common room was noisy and filled with folks from the town and the nearby docks staying out of the storm that

raged outside, along with the inn’s paying guests.  The air had a fine white mist of pipe smoke lingering over the

heads of the patrons, and the room was bright and cheerful from firelight and the lanterns on the tables and hung

around the room.  Duncan found them a table in the corner, and Argus made himself comfortable in a heap between

Kai's and Duncan's feet.  An elven man with black hair dressed in black with a white apron covering his front came

and gave them the inn’s dinner selections, all one of them.  Duncan ordered three bowls of the stew, one for each

of them, along with a tankard of the house ale and one of hard cider.  
Once the servant had left to see to their food and drink, Kai and Duncan sat in silence.  She could feel Duncan

watching her, so she chose to sit and watch the shadows and light cast by the large fireplace at the other end of

the common room. “You know you couldn’t have saved them don’t you?” he said so softly she almost missed it.  Kai

was rescued from answering by the hot bowl of stew and mug of cider placed in front of her.  Duncan sat the third

bowl down on the floor under the table for Argus.  The servant also placed a loaf of fresh warm bread and a cask of

butter on the table before giving a smart little nod of his head and a jaunty wave then turning neatly on his heel

and leaving.
 
She developed a sudden interest in shoveling food into her mouth hoping to encourage Duncan to do the same and keep

any conversation at bay.  The stew was thick with chicken and spices with chunks of apple and potato thrown in. 

The odors wafting up towards her face smelled heavenly and tasted even better.  It was quite good, and she knew she

wasn’t doing it justice by wolfing it down like a half starved Mabari the way she was. 
 
She shot Duncan a look out of the corner of her eye to see him watching her while eating slowly.  Blast the man! 

He had been content to leave her be all this time now he felt the need to talk?  She huffed silently to herself and

continued to spoon stew into her mouth otherwise occupying her tongue.  She watched his brown skinned hand grab the

loaf on the table, break the end off and butter it.  She flinched when he started speaking again, “They are dead,

Kai, but you are alive.  It is what they wanted, for you to live.” 
 
She felt heat rising in her cheeks, along with a dark rage she hadn’t know was there.  It bubbled up in black

sticky ribbons of contempt, guilt, and disgust.  All aimed at Howe, her dead beloveds, Duncan and mostly at herself

because a small part of her was grateful to have made it out of Highever alive.  That nasty little voice, the voice

of her own inner abyss, was laughing inside her head.  “And what about you?  You got what you wanted didn’t you,

Duncan?  Blackmailing my father into making me a Grey Warden!”  Kai shoved her bowl away in a fury, “My father was

supposed to be your friend!  And yet you dangled my safety and that of my mother in front of him while his guts

tangled between his fingers and he sat in a pool of his own blood!” 
She stood up so fast her chair made a nasty scraping noise.  The tables around them had ceased their conversations

listening in and waiting to see if a fight was going to start.  She suspected the barkeep of wondering that as

well, as he watched them intently. 
 
Duncan’s hand shot out and gripped her wrist gently.  His eyes crimped in sadness which only fueled the fire in her

belly.  In a soft voice, while looking her in the eyes, he sighed a sad sound, “My decision was not made lightly,

and it was not without cost.  But consider this well, Kaidana – the choices I made were for your benefit as well as

your father's.  You already wished to be a Grey Warden, against your father’s wishes.  You told me so yourself.  By

having your father agree in front of you, I freed you from the guilt you would have felt for disobeying what you

would have seen as his dying wish.  Your father was no fool, he was an intelligent and courageous man, loyal to his

king, his family, and his duty.  I freed him as well by letting him know that his other child would be safe.  Your

father and I were friends a long time.  He knew I would have saved you regardless of his promise to let you Join

the Grey.  But I think he knew you best of all.  He knew you would never have left if he had not made a promise to

me and made you promise him.  Is that not so, Kaidana?”
 
“Then more the fool he, more the fool you, and more the fool me most of all!”  Her anger was such that the stew in

her belly was sitting there in a ball.  She ripped her wrist from his grip, snatched up the tankard with the cider

and belted it back.  It helped ease the clenching of her stomach and flushed her body with heat.  She felt

lighter.  The feeling was better than what she had been experiencing.  And the little nasty voice seemed to have

been forced into a whisper.  “Give Argus the rest of my stew.  I am going to take a bath, get pissed faced, and

pass out.”  With that she turned her back on him and went to the barkeep standing at his counter.  She untied the

coin pouch at her waist and paid for two bottles of mead.  She grabbed the alcohol and made her way to the stairs. 

The conversations had picked back up when there was no entertainment forthcoming from their argument.
 
She made her way up the stairs and back to her room where she found a servant putting the last of the hot water

into a big copper tub.  She locked the door between her room and Duncan’s and waited for the servant to finish with

his buckets while she uncorked the mead and took a long swig.  The servant poured in some bath salts, and set up a

small table the height of the edge of the bathtub with the bath salts, a cake of soap, washcloth, and towels.  The

young man grinned again, bowed and closed the door behind him as he left the room.
 
Kai stripped down and took the bottle to the tub with her.  She sat in the tub soaking up the heat and occasionally

taking swigs of mead.  Her limbs were tingling, and she felt the most relaxed she had felt in what seemed like an

eternity.  She stood up in the tub, swaying and putting her arms out to catch her balance.  The water was lukewarm

now so she decided to towel off and get into bed.  That way she wouldn’t have far to fall when she passed out. 
 
She dried herself off as best she could.  But it seemed as if her limbs were loose and the towel missed parts of

her.  Still, she was dry enough to get into her shift she figured.  She tilted the bottle only to realize that it

was empty.  The mead is gone, why is the mead gone?  Kai swayed and almost stumbled on her way to get the other

bottle.  Oh yes, that’s why!  She snorted, then giggled, then the giggles turned into laughter.  The laughter led

to guffaws and deep belly laughs that caused tears to run down her cheeks.  She started to drink from the empty

bottle again, until she remembered as the glass hit her laughing lips.  Dead solider, Kai, this one is a dead

soldier...dead, dead, dead, dead. 
 
And just as quickly her laughter turned into an angry growl and then sobs as she threw the bottle against the

hearth of the fireplace in her room.  It shattered into a thousand pieces, the glass shards catching the firelight,

glittering as they arced out and showered down on the wooden floor and the stone hearth.  She stood there listening

to her gasping breaths, the steady patter of rainfall and the crackle of the fire. 
 
Sod it!  Kai wiped at the tears across her cheeks with the sleeve of her nightshirt.  She stumbled over and tried

as carefully as she could in her inebriated state to kneel down and begin cleaning up the mess she had made.  She

reached for one of the largest slivers first, a triangular piece of brown glass that glinted amber in the light of

the fireplace.  Kai started to place it in the palm of her left hand to hold it and put the smaller pieces in, but

she found herself grasping it in her right hand, watching the point glitter in the firelight... 
 
“You do realize that is a really bad idea, right?  And I really wish you wouldn’t.  Not to mention the mess it

would make on the floor.  Think of that poor servant!  He lugs all that bath water up and down the stairs and then

you would make him clean up blood too?  That doesn’t seem very fair.” 
 
Kai startled awake, her head snapping up and her eyes opening wide.  She had been asleep and dreaming.  At least

the voice wasn’t the nasty little dark one that had been haunting her waking hours.  Nor was it any of the

repertoire of the usual night haunts.  This voice actually seemed friendly and funny, and it made her feel better,

though she had no idea why she deserved such a voice to counter the other. 
 
She was hearing pounding on the door between the rooms along with deep woofs.  And someone was calling her name. 

It took her a moment to realize where she was.  She felt a pain in her forearm above the wrist and looked down to

see one deep cut that went about half an inch and stopped where the glass shard was still embedded the flesh. 

There was blood from the small cut, but the deeper puncture was not really bleeding as the shard kept it from doing

so.  She knew it would bleed all over when she pulled the sliver out.  The hand grasping the glass was cut too and

had bled down her arm and dripped onto her shift. 
 
The pounding was in earnest now, and Duncan was calling her name.  She pulled the glass out and used the cloth of

her nightshirt to staunch the blood from the puncture as she stumbled to the door to unlock it and let him and

Argus in.  She mentally cursed herself.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!  If you really wanted to kill yourself you fool,

you could have stuck a dagger in your own heart.  It would certainly have been quicker, even drowning in the lake

would have been better.  Kai mentally chastised herself.
 
Duncan noticed her bleeding and gently lifted the cloth away from her arm, “The first cut is always deepest, isn’t

it, young lady?”.  He put the cloth back down and clamped Kai’s hand back down on it while he turned back to his

room.  Kai heard him rummaging around, and when he came back he had the box that held health potions.  She watched

him lift the lid of the box and search out the vial that had been partially used right after their leaving

Highever.  He popped the cork out of it and held it up to her lips. 
 
She felt the cool sensation that these potions always began with, making her feel as if she had swallowed snow. 

Once the potion hit her stomach, an intense warming sensation would start in the wounds that needed repair.  She

grimaced, they tasted bloody awful.  She hated those things.  Why could the mages never sodding figure out a way to

make them taste good? 
 
“That will leave a scar when it finally finishes healing.  Your shift is beyond saving, I think, but it will make

bandages.”  He took strips of cloth and gently bandaged the wound on her wrist; the bleeding had slowed

considerably.  Then he wrapped the hand that had held the shard.  When he was finished, he rummaged in her pack for

a clean nightshirt and turned his back and waited while Kai got changed. 
 
Then they set about putting the room back in order.  Duncan took the task of cleaning up the glass this time, which

only heightened her embarrassment.  He left with the glass shards.  Really, Duncan wants me to be a Grey Warden? 

HAH!  Bet he’s rethinking that now.  Kai blushed at her own thoughts while she used the bathwater and a part of the

torn shift to wipe up blood.  The droplets were easy, but it was the puddle, small as it was, which triggered a dam

burst.  Her mind kept flashing on all the puddles of blood underneath all of those she loved.  All that she had

buried and shoved away rose up like a tidal wave on the Waking Sea. 
 
She heard someone sobbing in great gasping howls.  She realized it was she making those whimpering and mewling

noises after Duncan had returned and picked her up like a child and put her in bed, tucking her under the covers. 

Argus whined and jumped up to lay close to her on one side.  Duncan returned with a candle which he set on the

nightstand.  He blew out all the lanterns, pulled off his boots and sat up against the headboard laying Kai’s head

on his chest while wrapping his arms around her.  He simply stroked her back and hair while she wet the shirt that

smelled like Fergus with her tears.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 20 juillet 2010 - 05:45 .

[ladyames]

Poor Kai! Lack of sleep and stress will do that to you!

Poor Duncan! Bet he wonders what he's gotten himself into!

Love the mystery voice in Kai's dreams .. wonder who that could be??!! =D

[VioletTheirin]

Feel so badly for Kai, but I would give anything for a lifesize Duncan pillow of my own; especially one that smelled like Fergus! Wonderful chapter my lady, as always I loved it!

[LadyAly]

Oh my - poor Kai. Awesome writing again my friend -

[Slim Warden]

I enjoyed it Gil, and I can't help but feel for Kai considering what she is going through, but at the least she has Duncan around, thats a good thing.

Modifié par Slim Warden, 25 juin 2010 - 12:16 .

[westiex9]

Awww feels like the end of a long journey! hopefully we'll get to see more of Kai and Duncan(that was one of my only complaints about DAO not enough Duncan!)



Keep up the Awesome work Gil

[Gilgamesh1138]

@Ladyames, I know right? Poor Duncan!



@Violet, I agree, life sized Duncan pillow that smells like Fergus would be fantatastic.



@LadyAly thanks sweetheart!



@Slim, you are a love, I love seeing your posts.



@westie, same to you doll, love your work too! And thanks, we do get to see more Duncan. Including a moment of funny.



Thanks you guys!

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 11  ~Sail Away Sail Away Sail Away~


“This is far more pleasant than what you were doing before, isn’t it?”  That friendly voice that had chided her

jokingly for cutting herself seemed to come from behind her.  But when she turned to try and see him, her ‘dream

person’ as she thought of the voice, it was as if he stayed out of her line of vision.  “See-ee, so many things to

live for!”  And Kai looked out at a table filled with...cheese? 
 
“I lose everyone I love and my brain comes up with cheese as an incentive to keep going?  I must be going insane!” 

Kai pinched the bridge of her nose.  Well, this was better than the horrible nightmares she had been having.
 
“Hey-y!” The voice sounded in mock hurt, “Cheese is the stuff of the Maker!  I’ll have you know that Andraste

herself was an avid cheese lover and that it wasn’t her singing that impressed the Maker, really.  It was her fine

taste in cheese.”
 
Kai couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing.  She was laughing so hard she had to put her hands on her knees to

catch her breath.  “Well, that certainly would have made going to services, and the Chant, far more interesting.” 

The voice gave a chuckle.
 
She stood up and walked over to the table and looked more closely.  There were cheeses from all over Thedas.  What

really drew her eye was a bowl filled with cheese in the shape of mice.  She grinned, “All we need for that is to

have a cat made out of bread to chase the mice, and I could then truly say that is one of the most bizarre dreams I

have ever had.” 
 
No sooner had the words left her lips than a cat made out of bread leapt on the table and started stalking towards

the bowl of cheddar mice, which had come to life, noses twitching, “I think this falls under ‘be careful what you

wish for’, doesn’t it?”  The voice started laughing harder as the cheese mice scattered when the bread cat knocked

over the bowl which fell with a crash of breaking crockery....
 
And Kai found herself awake as the gray light from another overcast rainy day dimly lit the room.  She found only

Argus in bed with her.  And she remembered with a start the cuts from last night and gave her arm and her hand an

experimental wiggle under the bandages. 
 
Argus whined and licked her face, wagging his stumpy tail in a pat pat pat on the bed.  She was swamped again with

embarrassment at her own stupidity, “I am so sorry, boy!  I promise, I am not going to leave you alone unless I

have no choice.  It’s just you and me, okay?”  Argus gave an enthusiastic woof, and his tail hit the bed faster in

rat-a-tat-tat as he started licking her face in earnest, “Ugh Mabari breath!  Doggy germs!”  Kai laughed, teasing

him, and rubbed his belly as he lolled about on his back, big tongue stuck out in a dog’s grin. 
 
“I am glad to see you in better spirits, young lady.  And I hope you count me in on this little group.  It is

hardly just you and the dog.”  Kai looked up to see Duncan leaning against the door frame, smiling.  She noticed he

looked a little damp and that he held her clothes from yesterday all dry and neatly pressed. 
 
She flushed and looked away, the shame rushing back.  She concentrated on looking at and rubbing Argus’s belly. 

She felt Duncan sit on the edge of the bed, and she bit her lower lip.  What could she say?  Sorry I was so

stupid?  That sounded about right, because it had been.  But it seemed so inadequate.  Now that she’d had a good

night’s sleep, the first in what seemed like years, her actions appalled her.  Her father would have been so

disappointed in her, breaking her promise, shirking her duty.  Couslands always do their duty.  She could hear his

voice, and it made tears start in her eyes, and she felt herself flushing again feeling guilt swamping her. 
 
“No, no, child, don’t.  I am partially to blame.  I must confess I haven’t had a lot of experience with young women

your age.  We don’t get a lot of women in the Grey.  I am afraid the impact of what happened had a greater effect

on us both than I thought.  I should have been less concerned with getting us away from Howe and paid a little more

attention to what was going on with you.  I have a feeling we are both dealing with some of the same emotions.”  He

tilted her chin to make her look at him, brushing tears away, “Let’s just say this is a learning experience for

both of us.  Just promise me that you will talk to me or one of the other Grey Wardens if you start to have

troubles again.  Especially sleeping, all right?”  Kai nodded and he planted a quick kiss on her forehead.  “Now, I

think we should get you dressed and go downstairs and eat.  While you were getting much needed rest, I booked us

passage on a ship leaving in about two hours time and restocked some of our supplies.  So pack your bags as well. 

We can leave right after we break our fast to wait on the docks.” 
 
He smiled and walked through the door adjoining their rooms once more, closing it softly behind him.  Kai swung her

legs over the bed and stood gingerly, giving herself some time to get accustomed to standing.  She grabbed the pile

of clothing she had been wearing last night and got dressed quickly, then packed the neatly folded stack of dry

clothes with her shift back into one of her packs.  She pulled on her rather muddy boots, still damp from

yesterday, and grabbed all of the bags before knocking on the door to Duncan’s room.  He bid her enter, and she

found he too had packed and had even made the bed.  She cocked an eyebrow at him, “Old habits.”  He shrugged and

grinned, “I also purchased these while you slept.”  And he produced two rain cloaks made of a canvas material

coated in beeswax.  They would help keep off most of the rain.  He laid them on the bed and offered her his arm as

he had the night before.  This time she took it with a smile and they all left their sleeping quarters to make

their way to the common room. 
 
Duncan chose a table in front of the fireplace this time.  It was early still and the common room was mostly

empty.  The rain continued outside the windows, and the smells of breakfast wafted out from behind the bar in the

direction of the kitchens.  A blond elven woman with her hair pulled back into a bun with loose waves of hair

framing her pretty face took their orders this time.  Again, the choice was breakfast, breakfast, or breakfast. 

The drink choices were more varied, if only slightly less so.  Kai asked for apple juice (no cider, she had a bit

of a headache from last night), and Duncan asked for the same.  The food arrived and there was enough to feed an

army.  There was fried fish from the lake, porridge, scrambled eggs, and bacon.
 
Duncan spooned some porridge into bowls for all three of them and served up the fish, eggs, and bacon onto the

plates.  The oatmeal was swirled with spices, honey and apples, and it was deliciously warm and soothing.  It made

a nice juxtaposition with the saltiness of the fish, bacon, and eggs. Kai found it to be delicious and unlike the

night before decided to take her time eating and savor it instead of wolfing it down. 
 
The elven servant came back to refill their mugs, and Kai asked for a small wheel of cheese and slipped the girl

payment and a few extra coins for a tip.  Duncan raised his eyebrow at her, “You don’t have enough to eat?” 
 
Kai laughed, “I have plenty, but I have a craving for cheese.  A weird dream I had, I think.  It’s getting fuzzy

but something to do with a table full of cheeses, including cheese mice and a cat made out of bread.”  Kai shook

her head and grinned, “I figured my body was trying to tell me something, maybe I need more cheese in my diet?” 
 
Duncan chuckled, “There must be some epidemic of cheese craving in Ferelden amongst young people these days.”  Kai

cocked an eyebrow inquisitively at him, “You’ll see.”  And he laughed again.
 
They both finished their meal, the wheel of cheese was delivered, and the dishes were being cleared away when the

inn door burst open on a heavy wind and the tempo of the rain entered the room with a half drowned man before he

managed to turn and push the door shut.  The heraldry on the shield strapped to his back had Kai’s heart beating

faster, and she flashed Duncan a look.  The shield carried a bear on a checkered field of yellow and white, Howe’s

heraldry. 
 
Duncan nodded at her and towards the stairs.  They both got up slowly and casually, Kai giving Argus hand signals

rather than drawing attention with a verbal command.  Duncan walked around behind her, and Kai overheard the man as

she was reaching for the cheese, “The bloody bridge is out over River Dane the other side of the lake.  I was

forced to come back around this way by the blasted rains!  I am trying to get to Ostagar, my good man.  Can you

tell me if the roads are washed out this side of the lake?”  Kai heard the ****** of coins on the counter.  Kai

heard Basil the barkeep tell the man the roads that he had word on were small rivers of water and mud, but not

washed out completely.  The bridge over the river on this side still rose above the waters running below it.  Kai

had turned towards Duncan who waited at the foot of the stairs for her.
 
Kai heard the barkeep’s wife’s voice screech the man’s name just as she reached Duncan, “BAS-ILLL!”  She saw out of

the corner of her eye the soldier turn and start to look around the common room while the barkeep attended to his

sharp tongued wife.  Kai did the only thing she could think of...she grabbed Duncan’s bearded face in her hands and

planted her lips on his hiding both their faces from view.  She heard his grunt of surprise as he was shoved up

against the wall. 
 
She broke off enough to whisper, “Pretend you are enjoying it.  Put your arms around me, and when he turns back

around to the bar, we make a break for it, yes?”  Duncan nodded once slightly, and his arms wrapped around her, one

hand tangling in her hair.  He pulled her closer, and his fingers danced in her curls.  His beard was soft, and he

was very, very good at the kissing thing.  Kai almost forgot why they were engaging in a lip lock, but she managed

to recall exactly why she was in his arms and opened her eyes to find his closed as well.  She gave him an impish

pinch on his backside which had his eyes flying open, and she chuckled, “You are on look out, remember?”  She

watched his dark green eyes flicker over her shoulder, then he nudged her shoulders indicating she should go up the

stairs. 
 
Kai followed Argus, and she heard Duncan’s deep voice mumble, “What I do for duty, really!”  Kai looked back at him

and laughed and walked to the end of the hallway. 
 
She unlocked the door to her bedroom stepping inside and closing it once Duncan had entered, “Dear Duncan,

rethinking your choice to have me along already?”  And she had to grin when his brown skin flushed a shade darker. 

A good night’s sleep really had helped, she couldn’t help but sniggle. 
 
“You, young lady, are entirely too brazen for your own good.  And for the record no, I am not rethinking it.  But I

will say, the Grey Wardens may never be the same.”  He chuckled as he helped her get Argus into his pack and cover

it with a piece of wax covered canvas to keep the rain off as much as possible.  They strapped on their own bags,

and then donned the rain cloaks. 
 
Duncan unlocked the door to his room and looked out into the hallway before motioning to Kai and Argus that the

coast was clear.  She heard him place the keys to both rooms on the desk before he joined them in the hallway.  He

led them down the stairs to the outside dining area now pounded by the torrential downpour that had the tables and

chair disappearing in a grayed view as rain pelted them and misted as rain drops became many smaller droplets on

impacting their hard surfaces.  The ground was slick, and the mud squelched beneath the soles of her boots which

were soaked through once again in a matter of seconds.
 
They were making their way around the corner of the inn and the side of the building closest to the stables, when

Kai had an idea for something which might delay Howe’s man even more.  She pulled on Duncan’s arm and nodded toward

the building in question.  Duncan raised an eyebrow and followed her.  She noted that the stable boy was sound

asleep in the hay of one of the stalls.  She snuck past grabbing a hoof file and the vice grips for removing

horseshoes from the hooks on the wall while creeping down the length of the building looking for the only wet

animal in the stalls.  She spied some apples in a bag along the way and grabbed one.  She approached the animal and

was relieved to see that, true to Howe’s cheap nature, his man was riding not a smart Ferelden Ceffyl, but a

considerably less intelligent Orlesian Cheval.  If it had been a Ceffyl with the intelligence of a Mabari, Kai

would have had to forgo her plan.  The animal would have been battle trained and never let her get near it.
 
She approached the animal slowly, speaking soothingly and noting that the horse had been unburdened of its saddle

and had been rubbed down, implying the gelding was at least somewhat friendly.  She held up her hand flat with the

apple in it, and the Cheval’s soft nose blew warm air on her wrist before its lips gently scooped up the fruit. 

Kai made her way the length of the horse, running her hand down its side so it would know where she was and not be

startled.  She ran her hand back again and continued running her hand down the wet shoulder, down the length of the

leg past the knee, taking the file and filing the nail heads off of the shoe on one side.  Gently running her hand

once more down the leg and touching the fetlock, she coaxed the animal to bend its leg so she could access the

hoof.  Putting the hoof between her knees she used the vice grips to prise the shoe from the side of the hoof and

gave it a twist, bending the metal, before releasing the hoof and letting the animal set it back down awkwardly. 

She tossed the nails into the pile of manure in the corner where the boy had been mucking out the stalls. 
 
Duncan who had been on lookout appeared at her side, “The man is coming back this way.  I hope it was worth it.  I

suggest we find somewhere to hide?”  His face was a serious, and one eyebrow was raised.  Kai gave him her most

impish grin and nodded to an empty stall further down, and they all ducked into it closing the door just as Howe’s

man came striding in bellowing for the stable boy. 
 
Kai heard the lad scrambling around in a rustle of dry hay.  She heard the lad mumble his greetings and run to

fetch the man’s horse, leading the Cheval from its stall.  The messenger’s voice raised first in anger that the

animal had its saddle removed, then in dismay over the shoe, she supposed, though she could not hear his words

precisely.  She knew he would have to make a trip to the town’s blacksmith in the storm.  She heard the activity of

a horse being saddled and then the man leaving after yelling at the lad, taking out his ire, before creatively

cursing as he went once more into the rain.  When Kai figured enough time had passed to put some distance between

them, she opened the stall door to walked towards a very startled groom.  She handed the surprised servant the

tools and flipped the lad a few coins from her belt pouch, “If the nasty gentleman should return from the smithy,

we were never here.”  Kai grinned and winked, and the boy’s eyes got wide as he smiled and nodded. 
 
She took a look around the door, saw the way was clear and led Duncan and Argus into the continuing downpour.  They

made their way to the docks.  The ship that Duncan had booked passage on bore the name “Storm Crow” painted on its

prow.  The wood of the vessel was dark with rain, and the gangplank was slick.  Kai was more than happy to finally

put boots to the deck.  Duncan sought out the captain who had one of his sailors show them their quarters.  The

captain was anticipating that the storms would be in their favor by putting the winds at their back.  The trip,

normally a two to three day journey, should take no more than one or two. 
 
They got out of wet clothing, Duncan turning his back while she got dressed, as he had last night.  She didn’t know

whether to admire him for being such a gentleman or to be insulted that he didn’t peek.  She suspected her mind was

turning silly due to her strange, spirit lifting dream and the fact that she probably needed more sleep still.  She

started to laugh, and Duncan raised an eyebrow at her.  She shook her head, “Sorry, just my mind turning queerly. 

Nothing like before, trust me.”  He nodded, though he flashed a quick look at her bandages, and she sat on the bunk

opposite from him. 
 
She watched him pull out a deck of cards.  She looked at him, and he smiled and shrugged, “I found them in the desk

at the inn.  Care for a game of Wicked Grace?”  Kai laughed and nodded, and watched fascinated as Duncan’s long

fingers nimbly shuffled the cards and cut the deck.  She knew she was in trouble when he dealt their hands with an

experienced flair.  They played a few rounds, their ante made of a passle of shells some other passenger had

collected from the shores of Lake Calenhad and left behind in the cupboard attached to the wall of the room. 
 
Their game continued pleasantly enough, so much so that Kai actually thought she might win this round when the ship

began to move, shifting under them as it pulled away from the dock.  She felt fine until the boat hit the deeper

waters of the lake and the choppy waves caused by the storm rocked the boat from side to side.  Kai felt her

stomach going side to side, then doing somersaults.  The food she ate earlier sat in a ball in her stomach until

she was forced to grab the chamber pot under the bed and heave into it.  Sod it!  At this rate she would starve to

death.  She hadn’t finished half a bowl of stew the night before, and now breakfast had come back up again.  If she

kept this up, she might blow away in a high wind.
 
And Duncan, damn him, appeared unaffected by the swaying and bouncing of the bloody boat.  She might have been

upset if she had time in between rolling waves of nausea.  As it was, each upward bump of the ship followed by the

sudden drop kept Kai occupied enough as her stomach always seemed to be slow on returning to its position.  She

must have dozed off at one point, which certainly helped the nausea.  When she woke, it was to find Duncan

reading. 
 
He had covered her with a blanket, and Argus lay next to her almost shoving her off the bunk while his legs

twitched in doggy dreams.  “Good evening.” Duncan grinned at her, “Storm has passed, but luck is with us and the

winds are still at our back.  We made better time than even the Captain had anticipated.  We are about to dock in

Redcliffe only a little past midnight.”  He closed the book keeping a finger in between the pages to keep his

place. 
 
Kai swung around to a sitting position, dragging the blanket up and wrapping it around her.  She did an internal

assessment and realized that the sleep she had been missing out on had definitely been bad for her mental state. 

She hurt still for her loss, and she supposed she always would, but it could be borne.  And she would bear it.  She

had made a promise, and she intended to keep it.  She looked up to see Duncan giving her an assessing look.  She

smiled and shook her head, “Just thinking about promises and pain.  And....”  She sighed and ran fingers through

her long ebony curls, “Duty I suppose.” 
 
“Indeed.  I have something for you.  I picked it up in town after booking passage on the ship and buying the rain

cloaks.”  Duncan rose and dug into his packs until he came up with a leather bound journal which he handed to her,

along with a pen of dwarven make.  It held a cylinder of ink inside.  Kai’s grandfather Malcolm had such pens in

his study, another dwarven technological fascination for him and herself as a child, when her father had shown her

how it worked.  The enclosed inkwell, he told her, allowed for travel without having a quill to sharpen or an ink

bottle to cart around and leak.  Most dwarves, her father had told her that long ago rainy day when she had crawled

into his lap her head against his chest listening to his heartbeat while he worked, did not go topside.  They had

no geese to get quills from, unless they traded for them from surfacers.  Instead of having to wait for such

luxuries, they had come up with their own inventions to compensate.  The memory hit her in the gut like a punch

from a fist.  She had to swallow hard, keeping her eyes from filling with the tears that threatened to spill over.
 
“I thought you might write down what your thoughts are, for when you don’t have someone to talk to or don’t want to

share with another.  It can help, trust me.”  Duncan smiled at her kindly.
 
She nodded at him with a small smile in return.  She was startled by the slight bump and the soft grinding noise as

the ship dropped anchor with a loud splash.  “We are staying the night on board, then we will be taken to shore at

first light.  From the dock at Redcliffe village we can make our way to the Imperial Highway.  And from there we

will make our way to the Hinterlands and then to the ruins of Ostagar on the edges of the Kocari Wilds.  Now why

don’t we both get some rest?  We have a long walk tomorrow.”  Duncan placed slip of paper in his book and rose from

the bunk, “I am going to speak to the captain about tomorrow.  I will return shortly.”  And he left their cabin,

shutting the door softly behind him. 
 
Kai ran her fingers along the smooth leather cover of the book sitting in her lap.  She looked at the journal and

cracked it open, the binding making slight popping noises as it was bent open for the first time.  She took the lid

off the stylus and set the tip to the blank paper.  She wasn’t sure what to write, and at first the empty white

space just stared back at her.  Then, her fingers moved the ink across the page and that was how Duncan found her. 

Kai looked up to find Duncan sitting and reading again.  When had he come in?  She realized she was so involved in

writing that she hadn’t heard him return.  She looked at what she had written and decided that where she stopped

was as good a place as any.  She blew on the ink to dry it before closing the book and putting it and the pen in

one of her packs.  She walked over and kissed Duncan on the cheek, “Thank you.”  She was pleased to see him smile,

and he gently patted her arm.  She crawled into bed, shoving Argus over as best she could, before wrapping the

blanket around her and lying down as Duncan put out the mage light, plunging the room into darkness. 
 
Kai felt a gentle hand on her shoulder as Duncan nudged her awake.  She rubbed bleary eyes to see that he had

donned his armor once more and it shown bright silver in the light of the lantern, “Alright, young lady, time to

rise.  I think it best you put on your armor as well.  We should be able to make good walking time.  The rains have

stopped for the time being, and we will be going to a battlefield.”  He smiled and called to Argus to take the

Mabari on deck for a walk. 
 
Kai rose, peeled off her tunic and her leggings and put on her undershirt and buckled herself into her armor.  It

felt good to have it on again.  She strapped on her daggers and the Cousland sword, grabbed their packs and her

father’s shield and made her way on deck to find Duncan and Argus looking over the railing towards the village of

Redcliffe.  Kai went and stood next to them setting packs and shield down upon the planks.  Duncan stood talking to

one of the sailors near a rope ladder leading to a boat below. 
 
Kai put Argus into his pack and looked over the edge to see the boat tied to the side.  There was no way Argus

could jump into the boat below without hurting himself, and no one was capable of catching three hundred pounds of

Mabari muscle.  Duncan and the deck hand must be discussing a way to lower the dog into the boat so they could go

ashore.  The solution was a hoist and net sling used to transfer livestock from the ships down to the boats below. 

It took some coaxing from Kai, but Argus consented to lying down on the netting and the crew lowered him into the

boat below where Duncan unfettered him from the sling as Kai climbed down to sit next to them. 
 
The middy from the Storm Crow began to row them across the water of Lake Calenhad, which held a fine mist hovering

over its glass like surface.  From where Kai was sitting, she could see Duncan’s profile as he looked towards the

dock in the distance.  She rummaged in her pack and pulled out the journal and the pen and began to do a quick

sketch of Duncan.  Again, with the ponytail and earring it struck her how much he looked like a Rivainni pirate.

She had just finished when he turned and looked at her, cocking an eyebrow and smiling.  She grinned and closed the

book stowing it and the stylus safely away once more.  She trailed her fingers across the surface of the icy water

as they neared the dock.  The wooden shanties of the village drew closer.  They passed by some houses on stilts out

in the lake itself and then bumped into the dock, the boat making a scraping noise as it landed ashore.  The sailor

jumped out and waded into the water and up the shore to pull the boat in, allowing Kai and Duncan and Argus to

disembark on dry land.  Duncan slipped the man a few coins and they all turned to face the next part of their

journey.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 20 juillet 2010 - 05:52 .

[Slim Warden]

I have to thank you Gil for continuing to write wonderful chapters for our enjoyment, this was excellence in a bundle.

[westiex9]

Lol love the Alistair reference (cheese is an addiction, fight yours today at cheese eaters anonymous!)

I was wondering about the barkeeper being called Basil, is that a faulty towers reference?

And seriously Having Duncan as a main character kicks ass! i am loving this!

Modifié par westiex9, 30 juin 2010 - 05:28 .

[LadyAly]

I start to love Duncan !!!

Gil this is another wonderful chapter - you are made of awesomeness

[Lynn01]

I have to agree, it is very nice and I like how we see more of Duncan!

[Gilgamesh1138]

I am so sorry my doves for taking so long to tell you thank you! I missed that people were posting. I am so, so sorry!

@westie,  YAY!  westie gets the virtual cookie!  Yes, Fatty Owls to you!

I appreciate you all so much, and thank you for letting me know what you think. It really helps to keep the fires lit under my fanny to write.

And I have to agree, I love Duncan. He will be featuring prominantly in the next few chapters as well.

*HUGS*

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 01 juillet 2010 - 03:34 .

[LadyAly]

Don't worry about dear - it would be much worse if you would stop writing !!!  

Modifié par LadyAly, 02 juillet 2010 - 09:02 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

Aw thanks LadyAly! Du bist mein hertz.

[Lynn01]

Thought I'd make a FF.net account and manage my favorites. You're added! Looking forward to more

[Gilgamesh1138]

Oh thank you! I will be working on the next chapter today. I appreciate it Lynn01, *HUGS*.

[Gilgamesh1138]

Chapter 12

~ A Royal Welcome~

Kai and Duncan left the sleepy hamlet of Redcliffe, heading out of the town proper by way of the muddy unpaved road

of the village until they hit the cobblestone ramp leading to the ancient Imperial Highway built by the Tevinters

when their empire had once stretched across Thedas so long ago. With only muddy footprints left behind them on the

white granite surface, Duncan, Kai and Argus began the last leg of their journey towards Ostagar .    

The traffic on the raised road was sparse as they left Redcliffe and traveled the avenue as it paralleled the edge

of Lake Calenhad.  There weren’t many traveling the raised walkway until they reached the byroad leading into the

Hinterlands and to the ruins of Ostagar. 

They camped on the highway, using the lanterns taken from Highever for light, eating the dried meat and fruit in

their packs which required no heating.   Duncan explained that when the Tevinter Imperium built and maintained the

roads, there were way stations where travelers, for a price could purchase firewood, and other sundries while

staying on the highway.  The stations had long since crumbled to dust being made out of wood and plaster.  The

Tevinters still used such a system today in their now greatly diminished empire to the north. 

The trio spent their second night camping in companionable silence as Duncan read and Kai wrote in her journal, or

lay back against Argus looking at the stars while they danced in a shimmering galaxy.  It turned out that, Duncan

was as addicted to the written word as much as she.  He had not only bought her journal back in Watersedge, but

several books as well.  The one he had been reading on their journey he handed to her once he had finished. 

Kai looked at the embossed cover.   Dragons: Their Nature and Their Habits.   Laying back and using Argus as her

pillow, she cracked the book open.  When she awoke the next morning it was to find the book laying across her

stomach where it had come to rest as she dozed off.  After a breakfast of more jerked meat and dried fruit, Duncan

ushered them under way once again.  Their footsteps made a steady clomping sound on the stone echoing off the high,

sloping arches that graced the boulevard. 

As they drew closer to the ruins of Ostagar the landscape became more mountainous and the traffic flow to and from

their destination increased.  Their fellow travelers consisted mostly the of heavily armed, and armored, men and

women.  Even some warriors with mabari traveled along the road seeking the same destination.   

The day wore on and what had been a distant hardly discernible set of building shaped silhouettes in the distance

filled in and became solid buildings  in the craggy landscape.   When they had drawn close enough that Kai could

see the copper green patina-ed domes shining in the sunlight, she knew it would be a matter of only a couple of

hours and they would truly enter Ostagar.  

Duncan had called for a break to give Argus some water from their water skins, and to rest their feet for a moment.

 The cool wind whistled along the valleys kissing her cheeks.  Kai took the opportunity to plait her long raven

curls into one braid which she tied off with a leather cord.  Taking her sharp dagger, she cut the long ravel of

hair off just below her shoulders.  The sudden lessening of the weight had her almost off balance, and the curls

sprang into tighter silken coils.  She took a moment to look at the braid in her hand.  The symbolism was not lost

on her.  She cut her hair cut to make way for a new role, as Howe’s treachery had cut her off from her old life. 

She sheathed her dagger and looked towards her fate, lying in front of her.  Kai cast one last look at the twisted

locks of her hair and dropped the plait to the ground before she started walking without a backward glance.  Duncan

caught up soon enough and they walked in companionable silence until they came to the outskirts of Ostagar.

Duncan’s deep and resonant voice broke the silence as they walked though the ruins towards the large wooden gate,

“The Tevinter Imperium built Ostagar long ago to prevent the Wilders from invading the Northern lowlands.  It’s

fitting we make our stand here,even if we face a different foe within that forest.  The King’s forces have clashed

with the darkspawn several times.  But here is where the bulk of the horde will show itself.”  Duncan stopped and

waved an arm encompassing the valley spread out before them.  They continued on towards the gate, Duncan announced

their presence and the gate opened to admit them.  They passed through the over-sized portal past the guard who

then shut it behind them.  “There are only a few Grey Wardens within Ferelden at the moment, but all of us are

here. This Blight must be stopped here and now.  If it spreads to the North Ferelden will fall.”

Anything else Duncan had meant to say was interrupted by a jovial voice, “Ho there Duncan!”

Duncan’s face registered surprise before he carefully composed it again.  Kai was sure her own face registered the

same shock at the figure now striding towards them in armor that glowed golden like the sun.  He looked so much

like Maric, it made her heart squeeze painfully.  Prince, no king now, Cailan looked much as he had at eighteen

when she had first met him in the garden oh so long ago; nor did he look much different then when they met at his

father’s funeral not five years later.  He had filled out more, the jaw, widened, the shoulders broadened.  And

that youthful, devil-may-care smile and boyish expression (which had only been replaced at the funeral with one of

infinite sadness) was the very one she remembered him for.  Thinking of that day in the garden at the palace

threatened to take her mind to Dairren, and back again to the devastation of her world.  Kai choked back he tears,

sadness, and the anger that threatened to overwhelm her so unexpectedly. 

She balled her fists and took a deep breath and composed herself just in time to here Duncan’s reply, “Your

Majesty, King Cailan, I didn’t expect...”

“A royal welcome?  I was beginning to think you’d miss all the fun.”  Cailan grasped Duncan’s forearm in a

warrior’s salute. 

Kai watched Duncan’s face make a subtle grimace at the king’s words,  “Not if I could help it your majesty.”   Kai

could hear the eye roll in Duncan’s voice, even if he didn’t actually do it. 

Cailan turned to look out at the valley below, “So,  I will have the  mighty Duncan at my side after all. 

Glorius!”  Cailan’s face wore an almost childlike expression of wonder.  Duncan stood beside him facing out to the

future battleground below.

Kai understood Duncan’s desire to roll his eyes, but it was his response, and the exasperated tone (that Cailan

seemed oblivious to) in which he said it, that made her want to burst into a fit of giggles, “So it would seem your

Majesty.”

Cailan changed the topic in that lightening quick way he was known for.  “I understand you found a promising new

recruit. Is this she?”  Cailan turned and walked back to face Kai.  For a moment he stood looking at her with mild

interest. She watched his sapphire colored eyes get wide as he recognized her.

She barely heard Duncan, she was so busy, trying to read the king’s expression.  That, and he looked so much like

Maric, who had  been her childhood friend.  It reminded her of one more lost loved one in her life.  “Yes, your

Majesty, allow me to introduce...”

Cailan cut him off, “No need, Duncan.  You’re Bryce Cousland’s youngest are you not?  I don’t believe we’ve ever

actually met, or was it that we were never formally introduced, my lady?”  He winked at her and gave her a saucy

grin. 

“Yes, your Majesty, we were never formally introduced.”  She couldn’t help but smile back, his grin so much like

the one he gave her when they went to steal strawberries a lifetime ago.  His next words stopped her smile and made

her stomach feel as if broken glass had been poured into it.

“Your brother has already arrived with Highever’s men, but we are still awaiting your father.” She watched as the

smile left his face as hers paled at his words

He expression turned to shock then concern when Kai grabbed his arm in a death grip, “Fergus is alive?!  Is he all

right?!”  Kai thought her legs would fold under her, so great was her relief when he nodded. At his confused

expression she thought she ought to tell him, “You don’t know what has happened?”

“News from the North is unreliable.  The rains have kept messengers by horse and by bird from reaching us. 

Information has been sporadic  at best, and waylaid, or lost at worst.”  Cailan took one of her hands in his

covering it with the other, “My lady, what has happened?” 

Before she could try and explain, while somehow keeping herself from giving into the tears that threatened to fall,

Duncan explained.  “Teyrn Cousland and his wife are dead, your Majesty.  Howe has shown himself the traitor.”  Kai

and Cailan looked at Duncan.  Kai could hear the undercurrent of sadness, “He used his troops to take over Highever

castle.  Had we not escaped he would have killed us and told you any story he wished.”

Kai felt Cailan’s hand grasped hers convulsively.  His normal tanned face grew grey at Duncan’s words and he

dropped her hand to pace in agitation, “I...I can scarcely believe it!”  He shook his head in disbelief, “How did

he think he could get away with such treachery?”  Cailan turned back to face Duncan and Kai walking to place

himself before her, taking her hand as he had just a moment ago.  “As soon as we are done here, I will turn my army

north and bring Howe to justice.  You have my word.”  He leaned in close so his guards could not hear, “My lady,

Kai, I am so very, very sorry.  I will see justice done, I swear it  I have not forgotten your father’s loyalty

when my father died. And I have never forgotten the little imp who stole apples; or the budding young woman who

wept the few sincere tears for my father at his funeral.”  His lips brushed her cheek lightly before he stepped

back.

“Thank you, your Majesty.”  Kai flushed and looked down.

She looked up when Cailan’s voice spoke in a normal tone again, “No doubt you wish to see your brother. 

Unfortunately, he and his men are scouting in the Wilds.”  Cailan’s expression conveyed regret.

“When will he return?” Kai’s felt relief and disappoint collide with guilt. Part of her wanted the comfort of her

brother; the solid, stable warmth of him, her best friend.  And following closely on the heels of that desire, the

image floating on the surface of the abyss, of her sister-in-law and her nephew covered in blood;and how their

parents had looked in the last moments as she left them to run for the hidden exit.  Would Fergus hate her, once

she finally told him how she had failed to save them?

She felt Cailan’s hand sqeeze her own, “Not until the battle is over I fear.  And we can’t even send word.”  He

grasped her hand tighter, “Again, Kai, I am so sorry.”

She shook her head and cleared her throat, “I am not eager to tell him, your Majesty.”  She gave the king a wan

smile.

Cailan spoke in a conversational tone once more, “Of that I a have no doubt.  But you will see him once the battle

is over.  I apologize but there is nothing I can do.  All I can suggest is that you vent your grief against the

darkspawn for the time being.”  He increased the pressure on her hand briefly before lifting it to his lips and

grazing her knuckles with his lips, his blue eyes looking into her own. 

“Thank you, your Majesty.”    Her heart felt as if it was gripped in a giant fist.  Cailan released her hand and

stepped back turning, to address Duncan once more, “I’m sorry to cut this so short, but I should return to my tent.

Loghain waits eagerly to bore me with his strategies.”

“Your uncle send his greetings and says to remind you that his Redcliffe forces could be here in less than a week.”

 Cailan flashed at grin at Duncan, waving his hand dismissively.

“Ha! Eamon just wants in on the glory.  We’ve won three battles against these monsters and this engagement should

be no different.”  He gave Kai a cheeky wink.

“I didn’t realize things were going so well.”  Kai looked at Duncan trying to gauge his reaction to Cailan’s bold

statements.

Cailan grinned wider, “I’m not even sure this is a true Blight.  There are plenty of darkspawn on the field, but

alas we see no sign of an archdemon.”  Cailan turned and looked longingly at the valley with its wooden defenses

below. 

“Disappointed, your Majesty?”  Duncan cocked an eyebrow at Cailan’s back. 

“I’d hoped for a war like in the tales!  A king riding with the fabled Grey Wardens against a tainted god!” 

Cailan’s voice sounded to Kai’s ears very much like her nephew when he had played ‘imagine.’   He continued his

voice becoming wistful, “Oh well, I suppose this will have to do.”  He turned and smiled at Duncan.  There was

something behind that smile, it wasn’t all as jovial as it seemed on the surface to Kai.  Cailan perhaps sensing

her probing gaze, hurried on, “Now I had best get back to my tent before Loghain sends out a search party. 

Farewell, Grey Wardens.”  Kai did a cross armed warrior’s bow, while Duncan executed a simple bend at the waist as

Cailan turned and walked down the avenue of the ruins, his guards surrounding him.

Duncan turned to Kai and flashed her a rueful smile, while sweeping his arm and indicating they should walk in the

direction the Cailan and his entourage had gone.  “What the king said is true.  They’ve won several battles against

the darkspawn here.”

Kai gave him and impish grin, “Yet you don’t sound convinced.  And quite frankly, Cailan is hiding something.”

Duncan stopped and gaped at her.  “I should not be surprised I suppose, when you pick up on what others miss.”  He

chuckled and shook his head, “Despite the victories thus far, the darkspawn horde grows larger with each passing

day.”  Duncan looked off into the distance, his eyes crimping at the corners, “I won’t lie to you, not that to do

so would do any good at any rate.”  He grinned at her, “They look to outnumber us.  I know there is an archdemon

behind this.  But I cannot ask the king to act solely on my feeling.”  She heard him sigh.

“Why not?  He seems to regard the Grey Wardens highly.” 

“Yet not enough to wait for reinforcements from the Grey Wardens in Orlais.  He believes our legend alone makes him

invulnerable.”  Duncan nodded his head forward, indicating they should continue on.  “Our Ferelden numbers are too

few.  We must do what we can and hope Teyrn Loghain’s men can make up for the rest.” Duncan stopped at the ramp

leading to a long stone bridge where a large statue of a man in armor carved in marble stood, worn from years of

rain and wind.  Pennants flew, snapping in the breezed.  “To that end we should proceed with the Joining ritual as

soon as we have the preparations completed.”

Kai smiled, “What do you need me to do?”

“Feel free to explore the camp as you wish, gather herbs for healing potions like you did on our way to Rainesfere.

 We could use them for the coming battle.  All I ask is that you not leave the ruins or camp for the time being.” 

He cocked an eyebrow at her and grinned when she wrinkled her nose at him and nodded in agreement, “There is

another Grey Warden here by the name of Alistair.  Seek him out as you explore.  He is here somewhere, especially

anywhere there might be cheese.” 

“Pardon, did you say cheese?”  Kai laughed. 

“Yes, well, when you find him, tell him to round up the other recruits.  Argus can stay with me while I attend to

some Grey Warden business with my second Bernardo.”  They both looked at the mabari who had barked his agreement to

the arrangement.  Duncan grinned at the hound and Argus’s tongue lolling in a doggy grin.  He shook his head and

looked at Kai, “The Grey Warden tent is on the other side of the bridge.”  He pointed to the distant archway across

the way, “You can find us there if you need us.”  Duncan smiled warmly at her and reached out and gently gripped

her upper arm, before releasing it and nodding to Argus. 

She watched them walk across the bridge together as she listened to the wind whistling between the mountain tops

and through the valley, the snapping of the flags, the distant calls of the guards.  For a place of war, it was

surprisingly...peaceful.  Kai looked around slowly taking in the crumbling stone ruins, the sparse tufts of grasses

blew in the breeze.  She looked back the way they had come, towards the gate, and the guard that stood there.