Chapter Seven
They arrived at Teagan’s estate, Rainesfere, four days later, where they were greeted fondly by the bann. The look of surprise on his face when he saw Alistair wasn’t traveling alone was almost worth the trip.
“It’s good to see you, Alistair. I’m glad you stopped in for a visit and not alone this time either. Who’s this lovely young lady with you?”
“Bann Teagan, this is Michieri,” he said. “We met in Denerim.”
Teagan raised a brow, his tone amused. “I’m sure that’s an interesting story you simply must tell me over a hot meal and in front of a warm fire. You’re doubtless tired and hungry. Come in and warm yourselves.”
A couple of hours later, Alistair sat in a large chair near the fireplace. Teagan sat opposite him in a matching chair. Both men were having a brandy and chatting comfortably. Michieri had fallen asleep on a thick rug on the floor, her doll cuddled loosely in her hand. Alistair didn’t know how to broach the subject of the girl and was waiting for Teagan to bring her up. Teagan was avoiding the subject, obviously waiting for Alistair to discuss her. Consequently, it had been a quiet evening of discussing anything but the child sleeping peacefully at their feet.
“So, where are you going now, Alistair?” Teagan finally asked.
“I was going to Orzammar.”
“Did you plan on taking her there?” Teagan asked.
“Actually, I planned on leaving her here.”
“Oh? Did you? What would I do with an elven child, Alistair?” Teagan sounded amused.
“Eamon took me in. He found plenty for me to do.”
“Perhaps, but I’m not Eamon. Why not stay here for a time? Your business with the dwarves can’t be so pressing. Surely a week or two won’t matter. Let her get settled in first before you just leave her. From what you’ve both told me, she has no one but you.”
Alistair frowned. “I don’t want to get any more attached than I already am, Teagan.”
“Why not? She’s obviously fond of you already or do you not see it?”
He shook his head in denial. “She’ll forget me. I was just her meal ticket out of a bad situation in Denerim.”
“Surely you
must see it’s more than that. This child has had to grow up a lot faster than she should have. With you she can be a child again and feels like it’s okay to be one.”
“I can’t get close again. I won’t. I always fail everyone I care about, Teagan. I don’t want to fail her, too.”
“So, instead, you don’t give her a chance to get close to you? That’s no way to live, Alistair.” Teagan sighed and rose from his seat. He put one hand on Alistair’s shoulder. “Why not sleep on it? A week won’t make a difference, will it? I kind of miss having you around.”
“I’ll think about it,” he agreed.
“She can have the room third from the left past the stairs. I’ve had the room next to it set up for you. Good night, Alistair.”
“Good night, Teagan…and thanks.”
He didn’t want to admit that it felt good not to make a decision yet. Whether it was from relief that he didn’t have to think about it or because he didn’t want to go, he couldn’t say.
* * *
The next morning, Alistair woke late. He had gotten so used to sleeping on the ground, being in a bed felt like a luxury he hadn’t wanted to deny himself. He looked in the mirror that morning and realized he was looking a bit scruffy. Perhaps he should find Teagan’s barber and get a shave. Maybe a haircut while he was at it. He was beginning to look as shaggy as Duncan.
A grin crossed his face as he thought of the older man who in so short a time had come to mean so much to him. It had been a long while and took killing the man responsible for Duncan’s death for Alistair to recover from that. His own father had abandoned him and he’d loved Duncan and the Grey Wardens as the father and family he had been denied.
He found Teagan, lounging casually against a post outside in the stables, chatting amiably with Michieri, who was up tending his mount. She had faithfully curried, fed and watered that animal on their journey here. Perhaps he should give her to Michieri as a bond had formed there and the less he had to take to Orzammar, the better. He nodded to himself, the decision of what to do with his horse now out of the way. Michieri smiled up at him as he approached.
“Bann Teagan says if I do a good job he will let me tend the horses!” she said excitedly.
“Well, she’s done a fine job taking care of your horse, Aislin and she’ll need to do something to earn her keep,” confirmed Teagan. “Of course tending my horses isn’t an easy job. You’ll also have to take them out riding to keep them healthy, too. I can help in that respect. Alistair, have you given what we discussed last night any further thought?”
Michieri watched him hopefully. That she wanted to stay was evident.
Alistair couldn’t help grinning. “All right, I’ll stay a few days, but I don’t want to wear out my welcome, Teagan.”
“You could never do that, Alistair. You’ll always be welcome in my home. I owe you my life, and more, and you’re family,” Teagan replied with a grin. “Hopefully I can convince you to winter here in Rainesfere.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but thanks. I’ll take it under advisement.”
* * *
Teagan was delighted to play host that night. Rainesfere didn’t often get visitors and Alistair was like family. He had a plan to make these two admit they needed each other and he was determined to see it through. Michieri was already half won over, now he had to make her see that she belonged here, too. Alistair was a tougher nut to crack, but Teagan felt he could fix that, too.
A carefully worded suggestion to the young man about how he should be wearing better fitting clothing and how he could use a shave and a haircut sent Alistair in search of Victor.
Teagan’s household being a small estate and not a huge castle like Redcliffe, his brother’s home, consisted of a manservant, a cook and two maids. Victor, the butler was also quite adept at cutting hair and it was a neatly trimmed Alistair who came to dinner that night.
Teagan was pleased to see Michieri glaring at the new look. Alistair didn’t look like “her” scruffy Alistair this evening. Even his hair was cut short and spiked at the brow line. In Teagan’s richer attire, it was as if he had removed ten years from his appearance.
“Ah, looking like your old self again,” said Teagan with a quick glance out of the corner of his eye at the girl. “It’s good to see all that scruffiness gone. I swear, you were starting to look older than Eamon. How does the clothing fit?”
Alistair chuckled. “Not bad. I guess I’ve lost a bit of weight over the past year. It’s loose in some places. Thanks for loaning me these.”
“Not at all, my boy, now everyone eat up. Cook prepared all your favorite recipes, Alistair, and she’ll be disappointed if you don’t make a pig out of yourself tonight.”
Dinner was animated between the two men as they planned hunts and Teagan talked about some repairs around the estate with which they could occupy themselves. Michieri, however, didn’t seem to have much appetite.
“What’s wrong, Michieri?” asked Teagan. “Don’t you like the food?”
“It’s very good, I’m…just not very hungry. May I be excused?” she pleaded. “I’m really tired.”
“Of course, get some rest. We’ll go riding tomorrow.” He turned his attention to Alistair. “I want to take a look at the northern edge of the estate. We have been having some trouble with wild animals in the area and I need to make sure the fence is intact.”
Alistair watched the girl go, puzzlement on his face and Teagan suppressed a small smile.
From the looks of her, the girl hadn’t had much to eat before Alistair had found her and she was still far too thin for her own good. If she was this upset that she wasn’t eating, then the plan was working. He just had to get them to see how much they needed each other. Preferably before the girl starved herself. There would be time to fill out her limbs once she and Alistair decided staying was the best course of action. Michieri was the easy one to convince, he had to reach Alistair and from the concerned look the young man shot at the girl’s retreating back, it boded well for them.
* * *
Michieri slumped into her small bed and hugged her doll to her tightly. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling. She should be happy that Alistair was happy at last, but she wasn’t. On the road it had been just the two of them and she had thought he was even starting to enjoy having her along with him.
Here, she had to share him with Teagan and he seemed so much happier. He was well groomed for the first time since they met. She was glad for him, but upset that Teagan could offer him a life she didn’t fit into. On the road he had been
her Alistair, here he didn’t need her anymore.
She was able to get to sleep, but her dreams were fitful and her sleepy befuddled mind sought the only comfort she had known. She rose from her bed, slipped out of her room, and went into Alistair’s. He was sleeping fitfully and she wondered why he seemed to always have bad dreams. Then, sticking her thumb in her mouth, a habit she had outgrown years ago but now offered comfort, and cuddling her doll, she lay down on the rug next to his bed, going back to sleep.
* * *
The following morning Alistair awoke to Michieri on the side of his bed sleeping on the rug. He smiled, picked her up, and tucked her into his bed. He brushed a lock of dark red hair out of her eyes and her brow furrowed as if she didn’t like what she was dreaming.
For a bit, he sat there watching her. She was actually putting on some weight now. He could see her face filling out and she seemed much younger than he had first realized now that he looked at her more closely. Here with Teagan she could be happy, safe and well cared for. She didn’t need him anymore. He shouldn’t dally here—he had something to finish and if he stayed any longer he’d grow so attached he wouldn’t be able to leave.
He bent and kissed her cheek and then started to pack his things. Downstairs, he ran into Teagan who was just heading out the door to the stables.
“I have to go, Teagan. Thank you for taking her in. I know you’ll take good care of her.”
“Alistair, I said I would, but how can you not see what she wants is to be with you, not I,” Teagan said. “You haven’t seen the looks she gives you when she knows you aren’t looking. I’ve only seen a face like that once before on a child.”
“Oh? Who would that be?
“The last time I saw a face that wretchedly heartbroken was on a young boy covered in mud and wailing about being sent to the Chantry.”
Alistair frowned and ignored Teagan, instead walking out the door. He paused on the step, the clouds above gray and forbidding.
“Looks like rain,” Teagan said, casting a wary glare at the sky.
“A little rain won’t stop me. I’ve walked through worse.”
“In the mountains it’ll be snow. The pass might even be closed. Why not wait until spring to make your journey?” Teagan ignored his glare.
“I’ll chance it. The mountains are only a week away by foot.”
Teagan shrugged.
“Well, best you be off then. Don’t give her a chance to wake up and say goodbye because Maker forbid you might actually have to deal with it,” Teagan’s voice was measured, but Alistair heard the anger in his tone.
Without another word, he started down the path to the road and didn’t look back.
* * *
Teagan waited until he no longer saw Alistair’s retreating form and then went upstairs. Not finding Michieri in her room, he went to Alistair’s instead and found her sleeping. He cleared his throat rather loudly and the girl startled awake.
“Bann Teagan?” she gasped. “Where…this is Alistair’s room.” She grinned and jumped off the bed. “You promised we’d go riding today. Is Alistair coming?”
“No, riding is off the agenda today, it looks like rain later in the day, though I may still go out to check on that problem I was having. I have something to tell you and there’s no easy way for me to say this, Michieri.”
Touching her cheek, she frowned. “I thought I was dreaming. I wasn’t, was I? He’s gone!”
She pushed past him and raced down the hall, calling for Alistair, but there was no answer. Racing out the front door, calling for him repeatedly, she stopped at the end of the path and looked both ways down the road. He was nowhere in sight. She sat down in the grass and began to weep bitterly.
Teagan joined her and sat quietly next to her until she had collected herself enough to notice him there. She swiped her hand across her eyes leaving a dirty smear.
“Fine! Let him go! I didn’t want to be with him anymore anyway. What’s so special about Orzammar? It’s much nicer here in Rainesfere.”
“I’d have to agree, but then I’m prejudiced. I love this land like no other,” Teagan said, grinning.
“Why didn’t you say something to stop him? He hasn’t been taking care of himself out there on the road. He’s going to get sick up in those mountains. He’ll catch his death of the cold.”
“No, he won’t. He plans on living to get to Orzammar’s Deep Roads. Nothing I could say would stop him.”
She sniffled. “So what’s so special about these Deep Roads?”
Teagan sighed. For him, children were loved and protected, but they shared this world with adults and shared their fates as well. Hoping it would move her to action, he was honest with her. “It’s where the darkspawn live, Michieri. It’s where Grey Wardens go to die.”
She leapt to her feet.
“Die? He’s going up there
to die?” She shook her head emphatically. “Tell me where he’s gone, Bann Teagan! Which way did he go?”
Teagan shrugged and gestured. “He would’ve headed west. It wasn’t that long ago. Perhaps you can catch him?”
“I hope so.”
She turned and raced off leaving a smiling Teagan to watch her. He looked up at the sky. “Well, I hope she brings him back before the weather breaks.”
* * *
Alistair hadn’t gotten very far. He kept stopping and couldn’t get comfortable. His pack wasn’t situated right or his boot had a rock in it or his sword was banging on his leg uncomfortably. Any excuse but the real reason he was so reluctant to go kept running through his mind.
This morning his mind had been made up for him but now that he was actually seeing it through, doubts began to gnaw away at the edge of his resolve. Did he truly wish to die still? Perhaps…he should go back, at least give Michieri a chance to make her goodbyes to him. He stopped and turned back, then shook his head and resumed his journey, his mind in turmoil. When he heard his name being called, and turned to see her come over the rise, he was actually relieved.
She ran up to him and he met her halfway. They stopped and regarded each other for a moment, then he opened his arms wide and she ran to him.
She began to pummel him with her little fists. He put up his arms to spare his face but she rained a few fast blows on his shoulders. Around them the heavens finally broke in a thick rain, but they ignored nature’s fury caught up in a fury of their own.
“Stop! Stop please!” he cried out, half jokingly. “I bruise easily.”
She stopped hitting him and let him hug her then.
“Don’t you
ever scare me like that again! You saved me! I don’t want to be with anyone else,” she said.
“What about Bann Teagan? He’s really nice and I know he’s fond of you. He can take better care of you than I can. I’ve told you, Michieri, I can barely take care of myself, I can’t be responsible for a child, too.”
“And I said I’ll have to take care of you,” she said. “I was actually thinking you’d decided to stay. You seemed so happy and I felt like I didn’t belong to you anymore. Were you trying to make me feel bad so I would let you go?”
“You did? I…I didn’t know you felt that way. I was just feeling better about things and I hadn’t felt like my old self in a long, long time. This is how I used to look before…”
“Before Rhiannon died?”
“Yes. I thought you were settled in and happy and I could go do what I thought I had to do.”
“You big idiot! I was only happy there because you were there,” she snapped and swatted him again. “Why would you just leave like that and not say goodbye?”
“Because I knew I wouldn’t be coming back. And because I was afraid you would talk me out of it and I would stay.”
“Bann Teagan says Orzammar is where Grey Wardens go to die. Is that true?”
Alistair nodded. “It’s true. I did want to die…before.”
Her eyes gleamed with hope. “And now? Do you still want to die?”
He hugged her tightly and buried his face in her hair. “No, she wouldn’t have wanted that. I…I think she sent you to me so I could want to live again.” Then as an afterthought, “You know, Michieri, one day I will have to go.”
“Enough of this dying talk. Maybe you’ll go there one day, but not today. You promised Bann Teagan you’d help him with his fence and you promised you would take me riding with you. Well, maybe not today, but I’m going to hold you to that promise.”
Michieri clung to him and her look of fierce determination melted away to one of youthful optimism, the maturing young lady giving way finally to the child. At least for a time, she could be a child again. She looked at him, imploringly.
“Let’s go home,” she begged him.
As she said the word, he knew no matter where they went, what they did, Michieri had become his home. He shook his head, chuckling. It was going to be quite the task to raise this child, but Alistair felt he could manage it.
Alistair and Michieri arrived back at Rainesfere, covered in mud and running through the late fall downpour, laughing like little children and full of hope for the future.
Modifié par sylvanaerie, 30 septembre 2010 - 03:28 .
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Dawnielle
