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[MHRazer]

Urdaniel wrote...

Okay, the forum's acting funky on me.  I quoted a post here and then hit "submit" and it took me to a thread I'd never seen before, let alone visited.  Let's try this again, shall we?

@york - It worked indeed, thanks.  Read your stuff and left comments on each entry.  Short version: MOAR! Please?

@Razorsedge820 - Ruh-roh, I don't know that this chapter is necessarily the sort of thing that would brighten a day. 

@MHRazer - hope it don't spoil your dinner (well it's not gory or anything, but still).

I won't spoil it for anybody who hasn't read it yet, but as far as not brightening your day... well at one point I got very worried that it would take a severe turn for the worst. But you handled it nicely 


And it certainly didn't spoil my dinner! (Partly because I read it afterwards, but it wouldn't have anyway )

Overall, I thought it was very good. I'm not exactly a literary enthusiast, but you drew me into the story (again) and had me very interested in where you were going to take it (Especially that one scene). Which can be a hard thing to do, so I commend you on that.

I like the way you work toward getting Jack to come out and say what she's thinking. I assume it's a difficult thing to do, getting what's in Jack's head out on the page, since she's generally a guarded person wary of leaving herself vulnerable to disappointment/harm. Like how you made Shep work towards the "To say thanks, okay?" comment, rather than simply having her say "I wanted to thank you for everything."

At times she still seems a little too open for her personality, but you can't beat around the bush forever, I suppose. 

Rather than just spitting out a bunch of accolades, I'll just leave it at: I liked it a lot, and can't wait for the next one.

Also: "Got ... a bod someone once said looked like a peanut with ******."made me LOL