Here's my prompt response. As usual, set in the AOA universe. Probably more than most of my other prompts. So, um... rough summary of background.
-f!Cousland survived the blight, she's getting married to Alistair
-Zevran works for the crown doing assassiny-security type things
-'my' Anders is only obsessed with his own hair in that he would never cut it..
The Queen's Request“So… I have a problem,” Alistair said. It was the night before his wedding, to a very nice young woman from Highever who was currently holed up somewhere in the palace with the female Wardens and a couple noble ladies she was distantly related to. Probably to discuss clothing, Anders thought to himself. That was what women did on their own, right? Talked about clothes and boys? Or, well, men given the age everyone in question was. He looked over at the king. Alistair wouldn’t meet his gaze. The silence was broken only by Eamon and Oghren’s drunken snoring and the hint of voices from the next room, where Nathaniel was deep in discussion with the Queen’s brother Fergus, one of his childhood friends.
Anders sighed, throwing back the last of his whiskey. “Zevran, did you bring those diagrams?”
“I did!” the Antivan exclaimed, picking up a large, vividly illustrated book. Flipping through it he settled on a page, consulted Anders, and nodded before placing it before the king. “That should be suitable for a beginner,” he said.
Alistair looked down and made a choking noise, turning red. “Not
that. I… I know how
that works!” He glanced back down, and, impulsively, turned to a page at random. “Andraste’s flaming sword, is that even
possible?”
“Oh yeah,” Anders said, looking at the picture as he refilled his glass. “In fact, just the other night Maggie and I—”
“Woah, all right, fine, I believe you. Don’t need to hear anything more.”
Zevran glanced over his shoulder. “Oh
that,” he said, grinning. “That is one of her favorites, isn’t it?”
“I
will kill you, Crow,” Anders replied, lightning surrounding his arm to the elbow. “Do not doubt me.”
“Fine, fine,” Zevran said, waving a hand. “I have only my memories while you sleep next to the woman every night, I make one innocent comment...” he sighed, looking sad.
Anders raised an eyebrow. “Did you really expect me to fall for that guilt trip?”
“I hoped for it,” Zevran said, now smirking. He turned to Alistair. “Would you like to borrow the book? You can show our future queen and see what she says.”
“No,” Alistair said, slamming it closed and shoving it aside.
Teagan stood up and walked over, glancing at the source of the king’s embarrassment. “Wasn’t this banned by the Chantry?”
“Yes,” Zevran said.
Without another word Teagan settled down into a chair, flipping through the pages.
Anders sighed, watching the king rub the back of his neck and make faces.
“All right, Alistair. What is your problem?”
“It’s Elissa…” he began.
“Ah, here is the traditional cold feet, I should have expected as much,” Zevran said, sipping his own drink.
“No, no… it isn’t that. She… she asked me to
do something.”
“And?” Anders said, shrugging. “Look, it’s, um, nice and traditional and all that you want to wait until you’re married. But you’re really missing out on a lot.
A lot. ”
“Maker’s breath,” the king sighed. “Is everything about sex with you two?”
“If you would actually get on with it you would understand,” Zevran said.
“Besides, you should be concerning yourself with providing our nation an heir, yes? I believe that would take priority over some outdated Chantry guideline.”
“For your information,” Alistair said, “we have done…
that already. Not that it is any of either of your business.”
The rogue and mage exchanged a quick glance before jumping to their feet. “About bloody time!” Anders said, hitting Alistair on the back.
“And?” Zevran asked. “Was it all you hoped? Better?”
“If you two don’t sit down and never mention this again I’ll have you both thrown in Fort Drakon.”
Zevran laughed. “Alistair, my men are the ones
employed at Fort Drakon.”
“Maggie will kill you. Probably with ice and lightning, and she might hit you over the head with her staff for good measure. She’ll then slaughter her way from one end of the fort to the other and get me out, robbing you blind in the process and, somehow, causing the most expensive structural damage possible for no reason other than to prove she can.”
Alistair stared at the mage. “You know, you’ve just described two years of my life.”
“And three of mine,” Anders laughed. “So… I’m assuming everything
worked as it should. Which makes me wonder what the problem is.”
“Well, I’m just… not sure I’m comfortable with what she asked me. And I don’t know how to tell her since she seemed embarrassed to even ask.”
Anders and Zevran exchanged another glance. “Are you
positive you can’t try what she wants even once?” Anders asked, trying to be diplomatic. “Maybe there’s something you’d like her to do you can ask for in exchange?”
The king sighed. “What could I ask? She’s perfect.”
“Is what she’s asking… something outside of what would be considered normal?”
“Not to you two,” Alistair said, making a face. “I try and picture it, though, and it just seems…
wrong.” Glancing at Anders Zevran made a confused face. Anders shrugged and offered an extremely crude gesture in a rough approximation of what he thought the king was talking about. “If that’s it he’s a fool,” Zevran said with a nod.
“What?” Alistair said.
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” Anders said. “Really. I swear, try it once and you’ll enjoy it a lot more than you expect. Just hearing the
noises women make… Maker’s breath, that alone is worth it.”
“Huh?” Alistair said.
“True,” Zevran agreed. “You are an adult now, no? There is more to it than simply… climbing onto her and moving your hips a couple times. You need finesse, you want to make sure she is happy as well. You are thinking of what should be just the finale as the entire performance.”
“What in the Maker’s name are you two talking about?” Alistair said, looking at him blankly. Anders got up and whispered into his ear. “
What?”
“What what?” Anders said. “That’s not what she asked?”
“No!” Alistair turned red again. “That actually sounds, um… fun,” he blushed even darker.
“Well what did she ask then?” Zevran demanded. “Just tell us or we will be here all night guessing.”
He sighed. “She wants me to grow my hair longer.”
“Thank the Maker,” Anders gasped out.
“She’s a smart one, your future queen,” Zevran said at roughly the same time.
“But… I
like my hair.”
“
Why?” they both asked in unison.
“It’s so…” Zevran made a face, unable to come up with a proper word that wouldn’t earn him a punch in the face from Alistair. The king was strangely obsessed with his haircut.
“Short,” Anders provided. “And you’ve got that wall-of-hair thing in the front. Very unnecessary. It looks… crunchy. No woman wants to run their hands through crunchy hair. How do you get it to stand up like that? Is it some kind of wax?”
“It’s an elfroot balm,” Alistair said quietly.
“You’re
kidding,” Anders gasped, horrified. “No, I think you should listen to the queen. Brilliant plan, really.”
“You know,” Zevran said, looking at Alistair carefully. “I am seeing… oh, what was his name? Maggie’s friend, maleficar… very nervous fellow…”
“Jowan?”
“Yes,” Zevran said, nodding. “His haircut. Subtle. Not too long.”
Anders stared at the king. “Mags’ seneschal has a similar haircut. It looks better on light hair. Yes, I can see that. Absolutely.”
Several hours later, after an almost uninterrupted, increasingly drunken, discussion on the king’s hair, a knock came at Alistair’s study door.
“Party’s over,” Teagan announced. “The girls are back.”
Stumbling arm in arm back to the Warden compound from the palace proper, Anders looked at Maggie, her face flush from drinking. “What did you talk about? The wedding dress?”
“Oh, a bit,” she said. “But I have something even better. I
finally found out what an Antivan Milk Sandwich is!” Anders’ eyes went wide. It had been a notorious joke around the Keep ever since the only book to survive the darkpawn attack was a filthy tome that mentioned it numerous times. “I’ll show you when we get back to our room,” she added with a wicked grin. “What did you talk about?”
Anders looked at her, not wanting to admit he and Zevran spent several hours discussing the care of long hair and suggesting styles to the king upon finding out the women were discussing obscure sex acts at their own party.
“Oh, you know, um… man things.”
“Man things?” she raised an eyebrow. “What in the Maker’s name would that be?”
Unable to actually decide what would qualify as ‘man things’ to a woman who knew more about armor and weapons than he did, Anders sighed. “We talked about our hair,” he admitted.
She froze. “Is he going to do it?” Anders nodded. “Oh thank the bloody Maker. About time he got rid of that damn wall of hair. You know how long he spends on that? I swear, even in the blight he’d be off rubbing elfroot onto his head and shaping it using a shield as a mirror.” Listening to her go on and on about the now-king’s strange fixation with his hair, Anders was suddenly glad he did little more than wash and tie back his own hair every morning.
Modifié par LupusYondergirl, 11 octobre 2010 - 07:35 .