605 réponses à ce sujet

[Shacary]

Huh, I tried to marry Alistair to Anora, while he was hardened, and he out and refused to marry her, told me SHE was not an option. He did not abandon my elf mage [ double whammy there magic and Ears!!!]. He kept her at his side, He thought about dumping her, simply for the duty he felt might be expected [ as someone wrote so eloquently, duty usually makes him miserable and he Is a stickler for Duty and honor].

but once she says but i luv u doesnt that mean anything, he is like u are right! and totally asks for forgiveness. When he is unhardened, it is heartbreaking, [ the abandonment] Been there JUlia, many many times sadly same hurts u spoke of personally Yet i still find the Trueness to your warden alistair provides, way more beneficial than the ready and enjoyable tumble Zev offers. Its obvious he cares for the warden, but... he is by nature not a single person lover.... listen to his stories , he pretty much does anyone! lol But i do adore him too!

Anyways, I thought i might interject the same as the others, that he refuses to let her get away, and that he will take any time they can have together, [ if you go thru all the dialog about where do u see this going while he is hardened this comes up too!]

He is boyish, new to Love, and I think vulnerable to the idea that dreams will never come true [ i think that is why he doesnt speak of them much, but he reveals he did have future dreams abotu the warden and himself, but the pain of her betrayal at allowing loghain the honor his " hero duncan" bestoyed to the worthy was every bit as painful to his character as what your father did to u.

While all this is not an arguement, remember Life can be painful, but it can be very sweet at times, seize the good times if you can, and also PLEASE remember this is a game, there are no wrong choices in your game , or in mine, its all what we want to do at the moment!

[sabreene]

frostajulie wrote...

I certainly don't expect Ali to worship my PC's. But real love is stronger than biggotry and it is stronger than society's expectations. It is stronger than hate. It is stronger than vengeance. It is stronger than duty. And this does not mean those things may not be important and you can't have those things too but the crux is love is stronger. And Alistairs love is NOT.

My PC's never wanted Ali to worship them. They did expect he would love them more than he hated Loghain.

This is why it is so hard for me to see any romantic appeal from a female perspective for Alistair. I like the guy but hes a good friend and a good lay. He has no clue about love. But again my opinion is certainly skewed by how I play and my own personal values as Addai67 pointed out and this is a very true statement for myself. I value love above everything else. From my perspective Alistair does not. Love should conquer all and if it doesn't its not real. Again personal Skew.

Love doesn't conquer all. Real love that lasts a lifetime takes a lot of work, and sometimes those problems can be insurmountable. That doesn't mean that love isn't real. If you go into a marriage thinking that being in love with solve all your problems, it's going to be a very rocky ride.

I agree that love doens't know racial boundaries or care about society's expectations -- but those do play into the relationship. You can't sweep them under a rug and pretend they don't exist, because that will only cause the problems to grow in the long term. And yes, love should be stronger than hate, but love should also include empathy and compassion and flow both ways. One can't expect a lover to put aside his hate, while simultaneously having no empathy towards what he is going through in that moment. There is only so much you can ask of others.

Not that it doesn't annoy me that there is no chance to talk him down, or have another option at that point!

[Lady Jess]

sabreene wrote...

Love doesn't conquer all. Real love that lasts a lifetime takes a lot of work, and sometimes those problems can be insurmountable. That doesn't mean that love isn't real. If you go into a marriage thinking that being in love with solve all your problems, it's going to be a very rocky ride.

I agree that love doens't know racial boundaries or care about society's expectations -- but those do play into the relationship. You can't sweep them under a rug and pretend they don't exist, because that will only cause the problems to grow in the long term. And yes, love should be stronger than hate, but love should also include empathy and compassion and flow both ways. One can't expect a lover to put aside his hate, while simultaneously having no empathy towards what he is going through in that moment. There is only so much you can ask of others.

Not that it doesn't annoy me that there is no chance to talk him down, or have another option at that point!

this this this so much. i see so many young and in love couples marry into this life (army), and just don't realize the work and sacrifice involved in it. The spouse has to put duty first 100%, and be gone, work extremely long hours, not be able to be near family. They just so often don't realize that the spouse's duty coming first doesn't mean he loves her any less.

[Addai]

frostajulie wrote...

I certainly don't expect Ali to worship my PC's. But real love is stronger than biggotry and it is stronger than society's expectations. It is stronger than hate. It is stronger than vengeance. It is stronger than duty. And this does not mean those things may not be important and you can't have those things too but the crux is love is stronger. And Alistairs love is NOT.

This is all a two-way street, however.  If your PC truly loves him, then she would have to love that he wants to do good not only by her but by other people.  And that he's not callously irresponsible.

But it is true that the romance is written such that the PC is not always Alistair's be-all end-all.  My take is that, regardless of whether they stay together or not, he will love the PC his whole life.  If he does not have substantial duty to fall back on- the kingship, basically- then he is devastated by losing her.

My PC's never wanted Ali to worship them. They did expect he would love them more than he hated Loghain.

I don't want to get into an Alistair-Loghain thing again, but as I said, this expectation ought to be a two-way street.

Addai 67 you are so insightful I never considered that my pc was Zev's first love I'm going to have to think about that, but with Zev you get a vetted individual who would probably do the opposite of Alistair in all my Alistair was awful moments.

Zevran has far more life experience, but in some ways he is being reborn in game-time, and experiencing things like autonomy and true love for the first time.  It's one of the things that appeals to me about the romance- that it does in fact have some "first love" qualities, which is not what you expect at first.  Some will also argue that Rinna is his first love, but I don't see it that way.  As for whether he has similar scruples, I don't know.  It's really difficult to compare two individuals and I don't like to do it.  Zevran does have a sense of honor that he won't violate even for the Warden.  Maybe you could compare that to Alistair's sense of duty.  I'll have to think about it.

Modifié par Addai67, 11 juin 2010 - 12:34 .

[Axekix]

Addai67 wrote...

frostajulie wrote...

I certainly don't expect Ali to worship my PC's. But real love is stronger than biggotry and it is stronger than society's expectations. It is stronger than hate. It is stronger than vengeance. It is stronger than duty. And this does not mean those things may not be important and you can't have those things too but the crux is love is stronger. And Alistairs love is NOT.

This is all a two-way street, however.  If your PC truly loves him, then she would have to love that he wants to do good not only by her but by other people.  And that he's not callously irresponsible.

But it is true that the romance is written such that the PC is not always Alistair's be-all end-all.  My take is that, regardless of whether they stay together or not, he will love the PC his whole life.  If he does not have substantial duty to fall back on- the kingship, basically- then he is devastated by losing her.

My PC's never wanted Ali to worship them. They did expect he would love them more than he hated Loghain.

I don't want to get into an Alistair-Loghain thing again, but as I said, this expectation ought to be a two-way street.

Yeah, I never understood why people who condemn him for walking out of the relationship can't see things from his point of view.  It's especially easy to emphathize with him if you play a HN.  Loghain is (in his mind) directly responsible for killing Duncan and Cailan.  Not to mention he planned for Eamon's assasination as well.  He basically attacked all of the family Alistair has left... and you expect him to just go along with recruiting him into the Grey Wardens?  You're asking an awful lot of him (too much obviously).

Even if it were just to sacrifice him later on (which you can't know at the time), I think the last thing Alistair would want is for Loghain to die as the hero of Fereldan.  Would that be a petty/emotional response?  Absolutely, but given the circumstances it is completely understandable. 

[frostajulie]

pudi0072000 wrote...



Double standard much? You stabbed him in the back first, of course he's not going to be 'twu lub' with you after that. Treat him right and he'll be yours forever, same as all the other LI's.

I never stabbed him in the back. Neither did my PC.  My PC did her duty and took the advice of a senior warden and following Alistairs lead because he always went on about duty and Ferelden blah blah blah and so she spared Loghain and Alistair walks away. 

He should have loved her more than he hated Loghain.


True love doesn't just happen and it does take work and yes there can be issues none of which did I ever suggest should be swept under the carpet although some should just be nonissues for a man like Alistair but if they can't be worked out, if the love is not strong enough to fight back the obstacles and stand defiant against them then it is NOT true love. It is affection, it is like like it is companionship, it is an infatuation that aspires to be love but if it cannot stand up and conquer all than no it is not love and a love that will not stand against the landsmeet or overcome race or at the very least be stronger than hate and lust for vengeance than it is not love. 

If by treat him right you mean do what he wants so he gets his way then I say again shallow love.
With Alistair sometimes even if you do what he says he gets mad and yells at you, he said kill connor my pc killed connor and he got mad at her for doing what he said.

Ok ok I know killing a kid is a douche move but he told me to do it and in that playthrough I took him seriously!

With Zev My PC contradicts him all the time and he never storms off in a huff because my PC doesn't do what he says.  He left when my PC told him she didn't feel about him the way he felt about her.  That was understandable since my PC lead him on like the hootchie she was in that playthru.  And Leilani only killed my pc when she was an evil witch who really really deserved to die.  When my pc was a scared little mage who defiled the ashes Leil just left her.  Understandable as I had yet to do her personal quest anyway.  All the LI's do have their breaking points but Alistairs made hate defeat love, vengeance defeated duty, and when vengeance and hate is stronger than love then the love is shallow and not real

It is my opinion that alone any one of Alistairs flaws could be
chalked up to the story.  But collectively when held up to the light it
exposes his romance as incredibly shallow.  I positively adore picking
apart these characters with fellow fans who enjoyed them as immensely
as I myself did I hope to continue pursuing civil discourse with other fans.  I have stated my reasons why I do not find Alistair appealing as a love interest and quite possible derailed the thread entirely since the point was to help explain why he IS so appealing but the discussion was very insightful, thoughtful and I wanted to be a part of it.  

[LadyDamodred]

frostajulie wrote...

pudi0072000 wrote...



Double standard much? You stabbed him in the back first, of course he's not going to be 'twu lub' with you after that. Treat him right and he'll be yours forever, same as all the other LI's.

I never stabbed him in the back. Neither did my PC.  My PC did her duty and took the advice of a senior warden and following Alistairs lead because he always went on about duty and Ferelden blah blah blah and so she spared Loghain and Alistair walks away. 

He should have loved her more than he hated Loghain.

Alistair obviously disagrees.  I always equate it to Howe if you're a HN and roles are reversed.  If Alistair did that to my pc, she would be effing done.  I cannot thing of a single thing you could do that could possibly hurt him more.

Except maybe kill him right after that.

Would your PC ever do that?  Why/why not?

[pudi0072000]

Yes, but even if you kill Connor or Isolde or defile the ashes, side with Branka, or massacre the Dalish, Alistair can still love your character. (I don’t think you can do all of those and have him love you. At least not without plying him with lots of toys.) He doesn’t agree with those choices, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. I believe when you talk to him during his post-Redcliffe tirade, he’ll say he understands why you did what you did, even if he doesn’t like it. It’s not just about doing whatever he says to make him happy. 


The issue with Loghain, that’s his line in the sand – the one thing he cannot and will not do. As far as he’s concerned, you’re giving Duncan’s murderer the highest honor Alistair can think of. Bear in mind that Duncan was like a father to him and was the first person to care what Alistair actually wanted. This is a HUGE betrayal to him. If the PC couldn’t foresee that this wouldn’t go down very well with him, then clearly they don’t know him as well as they thought. (In which case, it’s not ‘true love’). It would've been nice to have an option to talk him down, but I think Gaider said even if you did, Alistair would be beyond listening without knowing about the sacrifice the Wardens make with the archdemon. 

As Lady Damodred said, if you were a HN and Alistair wanted to make Howe a Grey Warden instead of seeing justice done, would you still love him, or would it be an outrage and completely change your views on Alistair? Maybe your PC was trying to be pragmatic and do their duty as a Grey Warden by recruiting Loghain, but to Alistair, it’s a moot point. You’re rewarding his pseudo-father’s murderer and basically saying that you’re choosing Loghain over him, the man you supposedly love. (And maybe the PC really does, but Alistair isn’t seeing it that way during the Landsmeet). To him it’s a big stab in the back and goes again everything he holds dear. 

It’s not that he’s actively choosing vengeance over his love for you. In his eyes, you’ve just betrayed him and apparently lost your mind and he can’t understand why you would do that to him. It’s hard to love or even care for someone when they go off and to the worst possible thing they ever could to you. If that’s true love to you, then I’m sorry, but I couldn’t do it and I don’t blame Alistair for falling out of love either. 

So…. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a lot of give and take. You both have to understand where the other is coming from, and respect that there are certain lines that can’t be crossed if you want things to work. I don’t know if I’m being very clear on that though. (And I do love a good debate too!)

Modifié par pudi0072000, 11 juin 2010 - 02:23 .

[Merilsell]

Alistair doesn't love the Warden and it won't last because his love is shallow? Wow then all my wardens riding off in the sunset with him in the end had been desillusional, I take it. Maybe they only have imagine him to stay forever with her after the blight.... hmm.

IF IT'S NOT TWU WU THEN IT'S NOT TRUE LOVE!!!

Sorry that is what I read in your posts. Meh. Love is struggle, love isn't fluffy bunnies and rainbows all the time but all the more rewarding if it works out in the end. Maybe it doesn't, there isn't any warranty for it as for the game and real life but it is certainly worth the try.

If I want a shallow, twu wu love I read Twilight but that certainly doesn't come near the depth of Alistair's romance. If you are willing to look close enough, that is. Same goes for every LI in the game in their own way.

But oh well....

[maxernst]

Zevran's approval is basically all about how you treat him because (much like Oghren and Shale for the most part) he doesn't care that much what you do to other people. He doesn't have particularly strong beliefs. Unlike Alistair and Leliana, there's nothing you can do in the game to really shatter his image of you except dump him. Alistair's approval depends as much (if not more) on how you treat other people because he wants to love someone who shares his values. I don't think that makes his love more shallow.



BTW, I'm a little confused as to how you get an ending where you spare Loghain, he's not King, and he "runs off". I thought he was either exiled or executed by Anora in that case, so he doesn't really have an opportunity to come back to you.

[ejoslin]

maxernst wrote...

Zevran's approval is basically all about how you treat him because (much like Oghren and Shale for the most part) he doesn't care that much what you do to other people. He doesn't have particularly strong beliefs. Unlike Alistair and Leliana, there's nothing you can do in the game to really shatter his image of you except dump him. Alistair's approval depends as much (if not more) on how you treat other people because he wants to love someone who shares his values. I don't think that makes his love more shallow.

With Zevran, try siding with the slavers, the werewolves, the templars (at Cullen), preserving the anvil, and don't use the persuade checks and see what happens. You can take some massive approval hits from him.

Edit: Added quote for context.

Second edit: I fail at formatting

Modifié par ejoslin, 11 juin 2010 - 04:45 .

[Xandurpein]

Sometimes people fall in love. This can happen very quickly. They see something in the other and fall for that, but maybe without knowing each other completely. They see some fragments of the other ones personality and fill in the blanks with their hopes and dreams and then they get disappointed, as they get to know each other better and discover that the truth was not what they imagined.

Other times, people can go beyond the "fall in love" stage, really get to know each other and truly love and care for each other, but still disappoint each other. Maybe things happens that forces an issue they could (and did) skirt around in the name of love, to the point where it can no longer be avoided.

It can be a career opportunity in another part of the country or it can be the fate of Loghain. It's tragic when it happens, but a couple only breaks up if neither of them is willing to give in for the sake of their relationship. You might feel that Alistair didn't love you enough to give in for your sake, but neither did you. It doesn't matter that you think your reasons are rational and his reasons are irrational, you didn't love him enough to have this moment he needed.

In my experience, if you think that love is not real love unless it's a total commitment where every other need is made inconsequential, then you are simply dooming yourself to an endless cycle of "falling in love" and getting disappointed. Because it's only in that fleeting moment of being "in love", when you don't really know the object of your desire, that love can be that intense.

Real love means knowing there are things about your partner that you find irritating and annoying, and maybe even totally irrational, but it's part of the package and you can't change that. Sharing your life with a person is a package deal, you don't get to pick and choose among his/her traits.

I'm not going to tell anyone whether they where only "in love" with Alistair, or if it was real love, but it broke apart anyway, because neither Ali nor the PC could give in on a crucial issue. Maybe it's a different story for different people.

When love is broken over something it's sad, but it doesn't mean that it was a lie.

End rant.

Modifié par Xandurpein, 11 juin 2010 - 05:22 .

[Miri1984]

Xandurpein wrote...

Sometimes people fall in love. This can happen very quickly. They see something in the other and fall for that, but maybe without knowing each other completely. They see some fragments of the other ones personality and fill in the blanks with their hopes and dreams and then they get disappointed, as they get to know each other better and discover that the truth was not what they imagined.

Other times, people can go beyond the "fall in love" stage, really get to know each other and truly love and care for each other, but still disappoint each other. Maybe things happens that forces an issue they could (and did) skirt around in the name of love, to the point where it can no longer be avoided.

It can be a career opportunity in another part of the country or it can be the fate of Loghain. It's tragic when it happens, but a couple only breaks up if neither of them is willing to give in for the sake of their relationship. You might feel that Alistair didn't love you enough to give in for your sake, but neither did you. It doesn't matter that you think your reasons are rational and his reasons are irrational, you didn't love him enough to have this moment he needed.

In my experience, if you think that love is not real love unless it's a total commitment where every other need is made inconsequential, then you are simply dooming yourself to an endless cycle of "falling in love" and getting disappointed. Because it's only in that fleeting moment of being "in love", when you don't really know the object of your desire, that love can be that intense.

Real love means knowing there are things about your partner that you find irritating and annoying, and maybe even totally irrational, but it's part of the package and you can't change that. Sharing your life with a person is a package deal, you don't get to pick and choose among his/her traits.

I'm not going to tell anyone whether they where only "in love" with Alistair, or if it was real love, but it broke apart anyway, because neither Ali nor the PC could give in on a crucial issue. Maybe it's a different story for different people.

When love is broken over something it's sad, but it doesn't mean that it was a lie.

End rant.

For a rant, that was remarkably eloquent and captured the issue beautifully. 

[Addai]

maxernst wrote...

BTW, I'm a little confused as to how you get an ending where you spare Loghain, he's not King, and he "runs off". I thought he was either exiled or executed by Anora in that case, so he doesn't really have an opportunity to come back to you.

I assume people mean that he prefers exile to accepting your decision to spare Loghain.

[Xandurpein]

Addai67 wrote...

maxernst wrote...

BTW, I'm a little confused as to how you get an ending where you spare Loghain, he's not King, and he "runs off". I thought he was either exiled or executed by Anora in that case, so he doesn't really have an opportunity to come back to you.

I assume people mean that he prefers exile to accepting your decision to spare Loghain.

True. If you spare Loghain and persuade Anora to not kill Alistair, then he is not exiled, he just can't stand to remain with the PC or indeed the Grey Wardens.

[Xandurpein]

Miri1984 wrote...
For a rant, that was remarkably eloquent and captured the issue beautifully. 

Thank you

[sabreene]

Xandurpein wrote...

Sometimes people fall in love. This can happen very quickly. They see something in the other and fall for that, but maybe without knowing each other completely. They see some fragments of the other ones personality and fill in the blanks with their hopes and dreams and then they get disappointed, as they get to know each other better and discover that the truth was not what they imagined.

Other times, people can go beyond the "fall in love" stage, really get to know each other and truly love and care for each other, but still disappoint each other. Maybe things happens that forces an issue they could (and did) skirt around in the name of love, to the point where it can no longer be avoided.

It can be a career opportunity in another part of the country or it can be the fate of Loghain. It's tragic when it happens, but a couple only breaks up if neither of them is willing to give in for the sake of their relationship. You might feel that Alistair didn't love you enough to give in for your sake, but neither did you. It doesn't matter that you think your reasons are rational and his reasons are irrational, you didn't love him enough to have this moment he needed.

In my experience, if you think that love is not real love unless it's a total commitment where every other need is made inconsequential, then you are simply dooming yourself to an endless cycle of "falling in love" and getting disappointed. Because it's only in that fleeting moment of being "in love", when you don't really know the object of your desire, that love can be that intense.

Real love means knowing there are things about your partner that you find irritating and annoying, and maybe even totally irrational, but it's part of the package and you can't change that. Sharing your life with a person is a package deal, you don't get to pick and choose among his/her traits.

I'm not going to tell anyone whether they where only "in love" with Alistair, or if it was real love, but it broke apart anyway, because neither Ali nor the PC could give in on a crucial issue. Maybe it's a different story for different people.

When love is broken over something it's sad, but it doesn't mean that it was a lie.

End rant.

That was wonderfully well said. I agree with every point you made!

[Axekix]

sabreene wrote...

That was wonderfully well said. I agree with every point you made!

Yeah that's pretty much a debate ender. 
Very well written Xandurpein!  You're clearly a man with a lot of life experience

[Elhanan]

David Gaider wrote...

Loria232 wrote...
 well i don't understand  obsession with Morrigan , i mean really ,such a b*****

Oh, that's easier to explain than you'd think.

It's not the looks so much, or even the voice (though both of those things do help, giving her an exotic flavor that many men like a lot). From what I've gathered, the reason many male players fall hard for Morrigan is because she has that hard, hard shell. She pushes the player away and wants nothing to do with love, but when that shell starts to crack he starts to think that maybe he can reach her. Maybe he can save her, bring out that vulnerable side she only rarely shows and which she would never even admit to.

There are certain fantasies that romances cater to, and Morrigan has hers just as Alistair does. It's never going to appeal to everyone, but it certainly doesn't happen by accident.

Men and women simply wish to believe they can make a definitive change in the lives of their romantic interests. Being able to change them could mean that the person themselves have greater worth, or at least more so than they themselves perceive to have. Low self esteem can lead many to slaughter.

But for me, tis the voice....

[Miri1984]

The voice eh? You know, my sister went to school with Claudia Black .

[KnightofPhoenix]

Xandurpein wrote...
When love is broken over something it's sad, but it doesn't mean that it was a lie.

I mostly agree on your point. But we must remember the context.

Alistair ending the romance is one thing and I can completely understand that love being broken. But he isn't just dumping his lover. He would be abandonning her to fight the Blight on her own.

I dont know, but that looks like an unstable and volatile shift from loving to basically hating to me. And I think Alistair would be the first to acknnowledge that what he did was out of blind rage and not an actual thoughout position where he determined that he and the PC no longer love each other. 

Modifié par KnightofPhoenix, 11 juin 2010 - 08:16 .

[Xandurpein]

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Xandurpein wrote...
When love is broken over something it's sad, but it doesn't mean that it was a lie.

I mostly agree on your point. But we must remember the context.

Alistair ending the romance is one thing and I can completely understand that love being broken. But he isn't just dumping his lover. He would be abandonning her to fight the Blight on her own.

I dont know, but that looks like an unstable and volatile shift from loving to basically hating to me. And I think Alistair would be the first to acknnowledge that what he did was out of blind rage and not an actual thoughout position where he determined that he and the PC no longer love each other. 

You can be a basically decent person and still end up in a situation where you totally loose it to blind rage, under the right (wrong) circumstances. I don't know how much is rage and how much is disappointment for Alistair at the Landsmeet, but I think that the morning after Alistair won't hate the PC. He will primarily hate himself. I think that is what breaks him.

Modifié par Xandurpein, 11 juin 2010 - 08:23 .

[Sarah1281]

Xandurpein wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Xandurpein wrote...
When love is broken over something it's sad, but it doesn't mean that it was a lie.

I mostly agree on your point. But we must remember the context.

Alistair ending the romance is one thing and I can completely understand that love being broken. But he isn't just dumping his lover. He would be abandonning her to fight the Blight on her own.

I dont know, but that looks like an unstable and volatile shift from loving to basically hating to me. And I think Alistair would be the first to acknnowledge that what he did was out of blind rage and not an actual thoughout position where he determined that he and the PC no longer love each other. 

You can be a basically decent person and still end up in a situation where you totally loose it to blind rage, under the right (wrong) circumstances. I don't know how much is rage and how much is disappointment for Alistair at the Landsmeet, but I think that the morning after Alistair won't hate the PC. He will primarily hate himself. I think that is what breaks him.

He certianly doesn't sound full of self-loathing or at all over what you did if he's King and Loghain survived although if Loghain sacrificed himself he does sound a little more conciliatory.

[Hyper Cutter]

I don't know where Alistair got his ideas about being a Warden from. Duncan was the "any resource we can use, we will" school and probably would have recruited Loghain without question.

Hell, Alistair's the only person who thinks being a Grey Warden is a good thing who isn't a redshirt, come to think of it...

Modifié par Hyper Cutter, 11 juin 2010 - 08:35 .

[Xandurpein]

Sarah1281 wrote...

Xandurpein wrote...

KnightofPhoenix wrote...

Xandurpein wrote...
When love is broken over something it's sad, but it doesn't mean that it was a lie.

I mostly agree on your point. But we must remember the context.

Alistair ending the romance is one thing and I can completely understand that love being broken. But he isn't just dumping his lover. He would be abandonning her to fight the Blight on her own.

I dont know, but that looks like an unstable and volatile shift from loving to basically hating to me. And I think Alistair would be the first to acknnowledge that what he did was out of blind rage and not an actual thoughout position where he determined that he and the PC no longer love each other. 

You can be a basically decent person and still end up in a situation where you totally loose it to blind rage, under the right (wrong) circumstances. I don't know how much is rage and how much is disappointment for Alistair at the Landsmeet, but I think that the morning after Alistair won't hate the PC. He will primarily hate himself. I think that is what breaks him.

He certianly doesn't sound full of self-loathing or at all over what you did if he's King and Loghain survived although if Loghain sacrificed himself he does sound a little more conciliatory.

The fact that he becomes a drunk is to me a clear indication of self-destructive and quite possibly self-loathing behaviour. D Gaider has also written somewhere that if Alistair leaves the Grey Wardens he will regret it afterwards, but then it's too late.