You've linked it before. I didn't say anything, but as you insist: Writing is OK, but it's not my type of story - too much characters arguing with each other for its own sake IMO. It all seems so pointless, almost like a soap opera. If you intended that, it's probably good but I wouldn't know because I dislike the genre. If not, then you need a plot.
Edit:
Just saw your reply above. I get your point, but her character flaw seems petty, I don't think she'd be like that. That pettiness is why I said it all seems pointless.
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Well, first I appreciate you taking the time to write something more than "LOLOLOL this rawks" or "D00d u suk"
Soap operaish is definitely not what I'm aiming for... it is definitely dialogue heavy, but considering the subject matter and timeframe, talk is what's going to drive it. So if people yakking around at each other ain't your thing, odds are you won't like it.
As far as the pettiness, that's exactly the point. Like I said at the start of my first playthrough, I disliked Miranda intently. I thought she was mean spirited, cold, and vindictive. Shepard's able to get through that, if he chooses, by virtue of being her CO and taking the time to find out what makes her tick. The secondary characters, though, don't have that benefit. In her eyes, they are subordinates to whom she doesn't need to explain herself, and she behaves in very arbitrary ways as a result. Anybody who's worked in close quarters with a group of people, be it in an office, a platoon, or an after school project resents that kind of person.
IMHO pettiness/arrogance is not Miranda's flaw, it's that she doesn't recognize (or even care) that she comes off that way to those around her. Fortunately for the squad, she's as good as she thinks she is. Shepard would recognize it, but I think everybody else might have a problem with her.
YMMV...