I've initiated much of the discussion about Kaidan recently, so I'd like to take a moment to explain why I participate in this thread and what is most important to me.
There are, as I see it, three issues here:
1) Currently, fShep is able to identify as lesbian, but mShep is not able to identify as gay. You can roleplay either as gay, but only fShep is able to actively participate in a relationship appropriate to her sexual orientation. This is an offensive unbalance and one that this thread, and its namesake group, seeks to redress. This is the primary goal of this thread.
2) This thread has also been concerned with the way the ME team have handled the situation since the release of the game. The way questions have been answered by some of them has been very unsatisfactory to some, and been viewed to be obfuscating at best, downright lies and spin at worst. It is this seemingly confusing and hurtful attitude that has upset a lot of people. This thread acts as a place of support for those who are offended by these actions.
3) During discussions of how we would like s/s (and specifically m/m - since that is the option most obviously missing, see point 1) implemented in the game, and discussions of how we believe it would make most sense (based on storytelling, resources, marketing, gameplay, etc) for BW to implement them, we naturally bring up our own preferences for specific characters.
Regardless of what certain people may say, no one here would pretend to be happy if a new bi male squad mate was introduced for mShep, as long as that character was given equal weighting and significance as all other LIs. Yes, I do not deny there will be people who will wish it could have been Thane, or it could have been Garrus, or it could have been Kaidan ... but let's be clear, the single most important thing is that there is an m/m option at all.
As others have said, perhaps the reason Kaidan gets brought up so much is twofold: 1) he's an incredibly popular character that lots of people have grown to love (and the fact he was originally scripted as bi both plants that seed in people's minds, but also means some of his resulting dialogue has been read by many as ambiguous); 2) there are very plausible ways his character could be written to open up to a mShep in ME3, and the fact he's an established character with such a rich backstory serving alongside Shep means that story could be potentially brilliant.
Those points, and my expressing that, doesn't add up to a demand that he be a bi LI in ME3, nor does it add up to a declaration that I or anyone else would scream and stomp our feet and get upset if he wasn't. Those points have been written, by me and others, over time because it's part of us discussing the ways in which we could imagine a male bi LI being implemented.