532 réponses à ce sujet

[Raonar]

Well, Chapter 57: Deconstruction, which I am sure will spark some flames here and there, especially if people skip the author note at the top, is now up and ready.

[Costin_Razvan]

I think you fail to understand why people love Bhelen: Because he is a capable noble.

You disagree with that, fine, but that's the situation in the game. Yes Bioware sucks at making political plots...let's be honest here every ****ing character in the game was transparent as **** when it came to their "Diabolical" plans. Or were you geuinely surprised by any major thing that happened? ( Bhelen's plan, Loghain's betrayal, Cailan planning to abandon Anora, Howe's slaughter, Eamon's plan etc. ). I don't think so.

It does not bother me that you have a warden more capable then Bhelen, what does bother me is that you paint the entire plan as idiotic and Bhelen as a fool in Raonar's eye. I get it you hate it but a writer's job should be to be neutral when it comes to characters. Something Gaider should ****ing learn btw.

It also bothers me a lot when you say Bhelen doesn't give a **** for Orzammar, that's pure bull**** on your end.

That whole chapter comes off as the rant of 16 year old against another 16 year old. That's the best you could do in terms of maturity?

You're also taking of utopia of Orzammar, where the casteless suddenly get rights and everything and is smoth and fine. Really? Look at our gipsies and tell me how equal rights meant a better situation for them.

I get the sentiment, that people should strive to be good people who don't backstab and **** eachother, who care more about their nation or people then about themselves, but that's unrealistic. You hate it due to how our country is run by ****heads and we see no future ahead of us with someone to improve our situation, funny thing but I do to. 

If this fiction is your attempt at sending a message about utilitarian or moral values...well good for you I suppose, but the we live in real world and the real world won't change it's just because people wish for it, nor would the Dragon Age world change it's way due to a noble who is mary sue in overcharge. Or do I have Raonar wrong? Is he not a flaweless character who is highly inteligent, laughs at those who do not agree with him since his logical is irefutably right?

Perhaps using that "I overpowered the Archdemon card" was supposed to make him seem weak, but we already know as readers that Raonar will win, it's not a debate it's a fact. He'll go in, smash the Archdemons head and call it a day.

All in all I see no difference in Raonar then from all those other "badass" hero types who smash heads and win the day with no real hydrance to their plan, those heroes who have the word of God. The only difference is your FF is better written.

Modifié par Costin_Razvan, 04 octobre 2011 - 03:49 .

[Raonar]

Sigh. And I think you fail to understand that the character in this story, name aside, is not, in fact, an Author Avatar. He's a lot more manipulative than I am, for one nad he absolutely loathes his name too. You also seem to have failed to grasp, even after so many chapters, that he never actually does what he seems to be doing on the surface (except when Faren or a kid is involved, and usually not even then). Might makes right is totally antithetic to him, remember? What does that say about all this?

That said, I understand perfectly what you and others think makes someone a competent noble. I'm not going to get into a debate though.

I've only started to go beneath the surface of this climax, there are two/three more parts to go, and don't worry, I'm not naive enough to actually bother writing so many words on a fanfic just for sending some uber message with this. There would be no point and the ultimate effect would be void.

It is definitely interesting that you immediately jumped to that conclusion though. Maybe you're looking for that sort of messgae for some reason?

Modifié par Raonar, 04 octobre 2011 - 06:17 .

[Costin_Razvan]

After so many chapters you say I just jumped that that conclusion really? My problem with your FF is that there is seemingly no challenge for the protagonist, or I assume Raonar is the protagonist, not even a moral one since he is so right about just everything.

It's also quite annoying that you are making all the arguments people have like two people arguing over at a market here. No seriously that's the feeling I get when read it, then there's the shock an all.

I mean the nobility is trained to smile and speak nice words to someone they would like to kill as painful as possible, they also must deal with unexpected situations quite often, yet you leave them dumstruck too often, actually you leave too many people dumbstruck.

Then there's the fact that you need characters to say how great a plan is or how people are idiots etc. Why? I find it much more interesting when I as the reader am left to determine these things on my own, not being bashed over the face repeatedly.

Stories, at least from my perspective can have vastly different meanings for people. Some might consider game of thrones a great political tale which showcaes realistic situations in a country torn by civil war. Other's might find it to the bitter struggles of people during hardships. Both points would be valid.

I fail to see what Raonar wants, besides telling people how ****ing idiotic they are and talking how the society in Orzammar is stupid I do not see any long term plan for him.

And please don't tell me what makes a competent noble. If you think I believe it's good at backstabbing then you miss the point, if you think I believe it's good at manipulating you've also missed the point. Because then our "nobles" or politicians whatever would be good at their jobs, which they are not.

Being a good noble means being a visionary, having a goal that will ultimately benefit yourself and your country in equal measure or more likely one greater then the other. That is not to say there are not people with failed visions but true visionaries with enough ruthlessness and pragmatism can achieve a great deal.

Take for instance Augustus or Temujin, perhaps even a local example of Stephan the Great, They all had a vision of what they wanted to achieved. Augustus wanted to strengthen Rome and improve it's state institutions, and he achieved that despite killing a good number of people.

Ghenkis Khan ( Temujin ) united a bunch of tribes and conquered a great chunk of the world. He created a very strong and stable ( for a short time yes, but it was VERY stable while he was alive and during the rule of his heir ) state for squat. He raped hundreds if not thousands of women, murdered millions yet his legacy especially in China and Mongolia are not to be ignored.

Stephan pretty much told the Turks to **** off then smashed them, then Hungary, then Poland. Yes Moldova did become a vassal of the Turks after he died, but are his achievements meaningless just because of that? I disagree.

That's why I say Bhelen a good noble, he knows what he wants for himself and Orzammar, he believes ( and rightly so ) that will improve Orzammar's situation. That his plan might fail after a generation...well I am sorry but there is no leader in the world who can change that kind of situation.

But do please enlighten me of what makes a good noble. I certainly have a diploma in history for nothing.

It's been tried many times by highly inteligent people who understood politics and the problems of their nations very well to create strong lasting state institutions, but ultimately they all failed. Why? Because of the human factor. You just can't take account of everything.

Modifié par Costin_Razvan, 04 octobre 2011 - 07:26 .

[Raonar]

Sigh.

Modifié par Raonar, 04 octobre 2011 - 07:54 .

[Costin_Razvan]

Is there anything you can do but given constant one liners?

[Raonar]

Even if i do sya something, you miss the point entirely. Still, hearing you say that about challenges is rather amusing, especially after everything that happened up to now. Is that really what you think?

Or is it that you're personally offended that it's not Bhelen that supplies the primary conflict?

Modifié par Raonar, 04 octobre 2011 - 07:55 .

[Costin_Razvan]

Challenges are pointless when the main character just bashes everyone and everything into oblivion, if not with his words then with his spirit powers.

So tell me what challenge was I supposed to care about as a reader? Every single time Raonar is so highly skilled at using his words or spirit powers that it takes any real tension away.

I dunno maybe I am not into the whole Japanese Fantasy superhero thing, or whatever you're using to make the fight scenes, thus there is no tension for me during the fights and with no tension you might as well have no challenge since it doesn't exist. "shrug"

As for the verbal spats, same thing. Raonar just comes off as so bloody competent and getting things the way he wants here that again no tension, no moment when you think he losing and pulls through.

[Raonar]

Hmm... That's strange. the only time he actually won anything with his spirit powers was when he smashed that stone face, and even THAT was because Faren saved his ass. All the other times, he ended up unconscious or otherwise stomped into the ground.

What you're saying actually applies more to Alim than anyone else.

Modifié par Raonar, 04 octobre 2011 - 08:03 .

[Costin_Razvan]

Raonar wrote...

Hmm... That's strange. the only time he actually won anything with his spirit powers was when he smashed that stone face, and even THAT was because Faren saved his ass. All the other times, he ended up unconscious or otherwise stomped into the ground.

What you're saying actually applies more to Alim than anyone else.

It's not necesarily what happens but how it happens and how Raonar deals with it. I dunno you just spent the first few chapters making him such a badass that's it's impossible for me to see him in any way vulnerable, and that's the problem.

Yes I did read all the chapters, and yes I know they go through some serious ****, but the scale of their badassary makes it very unreal, yes yes I know it's a world of Golems, Werewolves, Dwarves and Elves but still the feeling remains.

Maybe I should stop looking at Raonar as God in Dragon Age, but I can't but feel you wrote him like that lol.

[Raonar]

Chapter 58: Demolition is up at last.

Modifié par Raonar, 02 novembre 2011 - 12:36 .

[Costin_Razvan]

Please explain me your thought process on the politics of Orzammar.

Let's just say I'm a fast reader and you've got quite a convoluted chapter right there, though it seems very odd that the Assembly would just freeze up...I mean politicians don't really give a damn to listen what someone has to say when they just want to oppose said person, they can argue with someone very strongly when they are quite wrong and they won't back doiwn just because an argument is logical.

As Tobi in the West Wing once said. "The merits of a good argument take a back seat here" when referring to White House negotiations.

[Raonar]

Oh, that's easy. Half of them were at swordpoint/knew they were screwed and most of the rest were basically on his side.

Modifié par Raonar, 03 novembre 2011 - 05:28 .

[Costin_Razvan]

Oh when I mean politics I also meant Dwarven history. Cause you don't seem to go into too much detail on that.

Should be said though that the last thing you will do is shut up a politician with a sword at their neck. They like the sound of their own voice. "Shrug"

[Glorfindel709]

"You speak of politics and planning, but don't you even know that any plan which relies on more than 2 or three things going right is doomed to fail!" ~ Raonar Aeducan

I lol'd at the irony

[Raonar]

Well, I eventually managed to finish this chapter.

Chapter 59: Reconstruction

[Raonar]

Chapter 60: Collapse is finally ready.

[Raonar]

Chapter 61: The Deal Before the First is ready now.

[Raonar]

Chapter 62: Damage Control is ready.

[Raonar]

Chapter 63: Tranquil Agony ready and waiting.

[Raonar]

Chapter 64: Overdue Overflow finally up. It's a long one too.

[andiewinslife]

Is there somewhere I can get a PDF of this? I'd really like to read it, but it's really long and I'd like to put it on my e-reader so I don't have to be at my computer to read it. XD

[Raonar]

I don't have a PDF anywhere, but there are at least two solutions to your request.

One would be to go and download FanFictionDownloader. I haven't used it, but it should be able to get the story and save it in PDF or one of many other formats. I think I'll even suggest adding this thing to the Synopsis listing thread.

If that doesn't work, I suppose I can use that doanload/backup feature in my account to save it all and put it up somewhere. That, or make a long-ass file of all I've written in Microsoft Word and upload that somewhere instead.

I still think the first option would be best though.

EDIT.

Apparently, the first installer I linked to is an incomplete version that doesn't have the conversion part. The real package is over 40MB instead of five.

Get it here: FanFiction Downloader 0.5.1

Modifié par Raonar, 14 avril 2012 - 06:38 .

[Raonar]

Chapter 65: Nexus Portentous dragged itself to the web at last.

[Raonar]

Chapter 66 (or Myth Chase Arc chapter 2): Regardless of Fault finally made it out.

Modifié par Raonar, 08 juillet 2012 - 09:08 .