532 réponses à ce sujet

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

Something I'd be interested in seeing is some Bhelen-Endrin interaction since all we get in the game is Endrin telling him to shut up and get out of the way so he can talk to the DN. Bhelen's got to have gotten his blatant daddy issues for a reason, right? Not to mention that right now (despite what the letter later says) it seems like Endrin isn't sure what happened.

Hmmmm... I don't think I'll exactly show the scene itself. I was only planning on having it related by a certain other character. I want to keep Bhelen under wraps for as long as possible, since it's very important that people don't understand him too fast. And Bhelen doesn't really have dady issues and, regardless of what the game says, he does care about him. I doubt he named his own son after him just as a political move, though he may very well have I suppose.

I'll think about it I guess.

[Sarah1281]

I cannot watch his reunion scene with the DN and look at the VO notes without seeing daddy issues from Bhelen although more of the 'I'm so much better than the siblings I got rid of just like he did so why is he still obsessing about them and rejecting me again' variety than the 'I hate him' one.

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

I cannot watch his reunion scene with the DN and look at the VO notes without seeing daddy issues from Bhelen although more of the 'I'm so much better than the siblings I got rid of just like he did so why is he still obsessing about them and rejecting me again' variety than the 'I hate him' one.

Hmm, I'll have to check those. I only once did the reunion in the game and kind of forgot what it was like. I'll have to check the toolset or something, though I don't really know where the exact VO notes are, if they are there at all.

I COULD ask you to PM me them of course, but I'm not sure I should.

[Sarah1281]

God knows I've probably overanalyzed all of that but since Gilsa did look them up for me awhile ago, why not? Besides, you don't get a lot of information about Bhelen spelled out for you in the games so you have to read between the lines.

[Raonar]

That part where Bhelen tells you you have forgotten your training is SO not right on his part. He thinks he knows everything, doesn't he? Haha.



As for crying for weeks... I actually can believe that. The same way I can believe that Endrin might have goaded his older brother into fighting that proving.



Thank you very much for the extracts

[Sarah1281]

My reaction was 'Training? I was supposed to have GW training? Someone dropped the ball on that one.'

I don't know, the thought of Bhelen crying - and in front of Rica, too, so I guess that's a point in favor of him really loving her - still strikes me as rather odd. Though being sent away couldn't have been good for his raging Daddy issues that I will never believe he doesn't have.

And no problem. Since I have them I may as well share them.

Edit: When Bhelen was all 'Do you honestly believe Father did nothing underhanded' my response was along the lines of 'It was years ago and he's dead now anyway so by the Ancestors, stop telling me otherwise!'

Modifié par Sarah1281, 06 juillet 2010 - 11:18 .

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

My reaction was 'Training? I was supposed to have GW training? Someone dropped the ball on that one.'

I don't know, the thought of Bhelen crying - and in front of Rica, too, so I guess that's a point in favor of him really loving her - still strikes me as rather odd. Though being sent away couldn't have been good for his raging Daddy issues that I will never believe he doesn't have.

And no problem. Since I have them I may as well share them.

Edit: When Bhelen was all 'Do you honestly believe Father did nothing underhanded' my response was along the lines of 'It was years ago and he's dead now anyway so by the Ancestors, stop telling me otherwise!'

Well, Bhelen IS pretty much still a child, and children don't get so screwed up unless their parents screw them up. And Endrin definitely excelled at that. I mean, even with DN, though he was his favortie, he swept him/her under the rug to prevent a scandal. And when he finally DID send Bhelen away, it was too late anyway. And it was WRONG of him to do that to any of his kids.

Bhelen was desperate. As far as he knew, his father, and his brothers, never really cared about him, so his last desperate act was to remove them, hoping that, finally, his father would notice his existence. I'm not saying I approve of fratricide, I'm saying that I understand why he did what he did.

As for Rica, well, she was practically the ONLY person to acknowledge him, even love him, so even he couldn't prevent himself from being vulnerable in front of her. Most likely he cried not just because his father disowned him, but because he failed to even gain his affection/approval despite how hard he tried.

And we all know how he hates failing.

Modifié par Raonar, 07 juillet 2010 - 11:35 .

[Sarah1281]

Yeah, Endrin pretty much failed as a parent, didn't he? I'm not sure how he failed Trian (well, aside from potentially knowing he was going to die and doing nothing). Maybe not bothering to try and fix the debilitating personality issues he was developing? Do you think Endrin was a better parent before the death of his wife? Or that she was a good parent?

That's a take on Bhelen I've never considered. I kind of assumed that he was just lying to Rica (and he was about some of it like the 'no, I had nothing to do with any of that') but maybe he was confessing to the one person he could trust and who not only wouldn't but couldn't really use the information against him as a casteless noble hunter. Although...I wonder if Trian did care. His treatment of Bhelen - and the DN - in the origin could explain why Bhelen wouldn't think so, particularly if it were a regular thing.

You know, I really think I like this interpretation. And it adds more reasons for and facets of his daddy issues and explains why he's so bitter when you survive. One thing that always confused me is the jealousy the VO note says he has when talking about how awesome Harrowmont would treat you because it didn't seem like he was all that fond of him even in the origin. But if he was truly Endrin's closest confidante then I could see Bhelen blaming him in part for Endrin rejecting him.

Edit: Still, you'd think Bhelen would realize that there's a difference between being fine with killing your brother and rival and being okay with having your children murder each other and since Endrin doesn't even benefit in the slightest from this of course he won't be happy.

Modifié par Sarah1281, 07 juillet 2010 - 06:54 .

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

Edit: Still, you'd think Bhelen would realize that there's a difference between being fine with killing your brother and rival and being okay with having your children murder each other and since Endrin doesn't even benefit in the slightest from this of course he won't be happy.

Well, we all know Bhelen's smart, but no one said he was wise. He's a child, wisdom is learned over time. He moved too fast.

Modifié par Raonar, 07 juillet 2010 - 11:40 .

[Sarah1281]

I find it interesting that he and Vartag both make sure to warn you not to try to become King yourself (Vartag once you convince him that you're actually here about Surface problems and Bhelen if you claim you never plotted against him or Trian). Clearly, Bhelen's very, very paranoid about you despite the fact you have no chance in hell of succeeding at the moment and, at best, would have to find a way to work around your exile later and succeed Harrowmont.

Edit: That was probably my first indication that it was about more than just 'I want the throne. Trian and DN are before me in line for the throne. I'm going to have them killed.' The dynamics of that family really fascinate me.

Modifié par Sarah1281, 07 juillet 2010 - 08:16 .

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

I find it interesting that he and Vartag both make sure to warn you not to try to become King yourself (Vartag once you convince him that you're actually here about Surface problems and Bhelen if you claim you never plotted against him or Trian). Clearly, Bhelen's very, very paranoid about you despite the fact you have no chance in hell of succeeding at the moment and, at best, would have to find a way to work around your exile later and succeed Harrowmont.

Edit: That was probably my first indication that it was about more than just 'I want the throne. Trian and DN are before me in line for the throne. I'm going to have them killed.' The dynamics of that family really fascinate me.

Actually, you do have some chance. Dwarves retain their caste and house when they become Grey Wardens. So if you are exonerated, you actually do have the right to try and become the ruler.

Started working on that seventh chapter too but as I said, I have some things to take care of for now and it'll take a while, though I might finish it this weekend. Anyway, Vartag will have a major role to play in my tale, but that's all I'll say for now.

Meanwhile, I added the portrait of Alim Surana, Circle Tower Elven Mage, to the first post. I know he might not be the most handsome elf out there but his face fits the character I have in mind. His major role will start to be fleshed out as soon as Raonar leaves the deeps.

Modifié par Raonar, 08 juillet 2010 - 06:51 .

[Sarah1281]

That's just it, though: you have a chance if you're exonerated which, according to Gorim's VO notes post-coronation when he tells you about it, has never happened before and you have to stop a freaking Blight for the Assembly to welcome you back. It's unreasonable for Bhelen and Vartag to worry that just because you're alive it means you're going to be competition for the throne. I do wonder, if Bhelen were the GW and Harrowmont's favorite, would he put his ex-House out of power on the slight hope that he could come back and become King? If so then I suppose I could see where he would at least consider the possibility that you'd do the same.

[Raonar]

Chapter 7: Deeps and Skies is now up on FF.net.

By far the shortest of all the chapters I posted so far. Still, it's over 5,300 words so it should be enough. Mostly it's meant to start to flesh out Alim's role, Raonar's odd condition and the relation between that and his unusual hair and eye color.

Modifié par Raonar, 10 juillet 2010 - 04:03 .

[Raonar]

double post...

Modifié par Raonar, 10 juillet 2010 - 04:02 .

[Sarah1281]

They certainly took going to the Surface well. I guess they should count themselves lucky that they didn't have agoraphobia. Nice depiction of the Deep Roads wandering. The game makes it feel like you find Duncan right away - maybe within the hour - but the Deep Roads are huge and game mechanics can't show that. Not to mention already not being in the best condition and Raonar being injured as he was...if it weren't for Faren he genuinely may have died down there without having any idea whether he succeeded or if it were all for nothing.



I'm glad he knows now, though.

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

They certainly took going to the Surface well. I guess they should count themselves lucky that they didn't have agoraphobia. Nice depiction of the Deep Roads wandering. The game makes it feel like you find Duncan right away - maybe within the hour - but the Deep Roads are huge and game mechanics can't show that. Not to mention already not being in the best condition and Raonar being injured as he was...if it weren't for Faren he genuinely may have died down there without having any idea whether he succeeded or if it were all for nothing.

I'm glad he knows now, though.

Well, I definitely don't want to turn him into a god dwarf. I already spent the past few chapters describing how awesome and powerful he is, but really, how much can someone last after bleeding so much?

And yes, they didn't take going to the surface very hard, just because. Raonar, for one, is a great enough man that he would love to see he isn's limited by a rock ceiling all the time. Faren was a bit nervous, but really, who wouldn't like their eyes to be assaulted by so many new colors? Even Oghren loved the sensation, and that's saying something. Orzammar was a mixture of red and brown,with the occasional teal from the lyrium. The surface actually has green, blue etc.

EDIT

I also replied to your review on FF.net. Clarified that misunderstanding about magic immunity. He's not immune at all, that's the point   Next chapter will actually contain Alim's experiments and his verdict.

EDIT 2

Yes, if Faren wasn't there, he would have died.

EDIT 3

I also notice you, Sarah, like my story uncharacteristically much considering I am actually playing on your "Saintly Wardens" peeve, as you call it in your profile on FF.net.

Modifié par Raonar, 10 juillet 2010 - 06:18 .

[Sarah1281]

I also notice you, Sarah, like my story uncharacteristically much considering I am actually playing on your "Saintly Wardens" peeve, as you call it in your profile on FF.net.

Oh, I don't think so. The Aeducan version of Saintly Warden as I see it is a variation of 'OMG, why would my beloved little brother kill our pushy older brother and blame it on me? I never wanted the throne anyway! All I wanted was a military commission of my very own so as to do my duty as I continued to love, honor, and support my brothers and father's as duty requires. I just wanted to be the single actually noble noble in Orzammar! I am so innocent and nice and don't deserve this in the slightest! How could people do this to me? I am so completely shocked by all of this! I never, ever want anything more to do with Orzammar again because they're all mean! Alistair, hold me!'

I don't really get that impression from your story.

Edit: Besides, as I've stated on there after getting a few too many messages from people saying 'Yeah, you have a story on your favorites list that invokes one of your pet peeves! That is so hypocritcal!' as if they don't realize that 'pet peeve' and 'deal breaker' should not be used interchangeably.

Modifié par Sarah1281, 10 juillet 2010 - 06:39 .

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

I also notice you, Sarah, like my story uncharacteristically much considering I am actually playing on your "Saintly Wardens" peeve, as you call it in your profile on FF.net.

Oh, I don't think so. The Aeducan version of Saintly Warden as I see it is a variation of 'OMG, why would my beloved little brother kill our pushy older brother and blame it on me? I never wanted the throne anyway! All I wanted was a military commission of my very own so as to do my duty as I continued to love, honor, and support my brothers and father's as duty requires. I just wanted to be the single actually noble noble in Orzammar! I am so innocent and nice and don't deserve this in the slightest! How could people do this to me? I am so completely shocked by all of this! I never, ever want anything more to do with Orzammar again because they're all mean! Alistair, hold me!'

I don't really get that impression from your story.

Edit: Besides, as I've stated on there after getting a few too many messages from people saying 'Yeah, you have a story on your favorites list that invokes one of your pet peeves! That is so hypocritcal!' as if they don't realize that 'pet peeve' and 'deal breaker' should not be used interchangeably.

You actually got messages about that? And what story was it exactly? (you only added mine to your favorites like, two days ago, so the deal breaker must be another one).

And I have to say: "Alistair, hold me!"=LOL

EDIT

NVM. I noticed you wrote pet peeve. My bad.

EDIT 2

I seem to have found a bit of spare time and decided I'd start on that next chapter right now. I hope my other tasks don't end up cutting my effort half-way through and causing me immeasurable frustration at not being able to continue. Pray to the Ancestors that they help me in this.

Modifié par Raonar, 10 juillet 2010 - 07:13 .

[Sarah1281]

Well, I've gotten a few like I've said but many were about my lack of enthusiasm for Harry/Hermione despite having a few stories with them as the main pairing on my list due to plot/damn good writing.



Actually, most of the issue has been with my HP time travel story. One of my pet peeves is the time travelling character instantly going after his ten-year-old future-wife (or elven if it's Hermione) and they start dating far too young so to me it feels like an inappropriate relationship given how old he really is. So many people sent a PM or review for the first chapter where Harry noted he missed his wife and looked forward to seeing her at King's Cross Station saying something to the effect of 'OMG, you said you hate time travel romances but you're doing the exact same thing! Hypocrite!' that I had to put a note in there pointing out that the story actually contains a ridiculous LACK of romance and a request for people to stop jumping the gun and I guess it's worked as I've stopped getting that kind of message for that story.



But back to the actual topic...glad you're finding time to write the next chapter and here's to hoping you can get it done without too many interruptions.



And it's nearly always 'Alistair hold me!' and then the predictable non-HN angst about making him King and what it means for them as a couple. It is a pretty big issue that needs to be addressed but...well, aside from you and Costin, I've only ever seen two one-chapter stories about a male DN that didn't happen to have been written by me.

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

And it's nearly always 'Alistair hold me!' and then the predictable non-HN angst about making him King and what it means for them as a couple. It is a pretty big issue that needs to be addressed but...well, aside from you and Costin, I've only ever seen two one-chapter stories about a male DN that didn't happen to have been written by me.

That's kind of sad.

Well, at least you don't have to worry about the Alistair angst.

[Sarah1281]

Raonar wrote...

Sarah1281 wrote...

And it's nearly always 'Alistair hold me!' and then the predictable non-HN angst about making him King and what it means for them as a couple. It is a pretty big issue that needs to be addressed but...well, aside from you and Costin, I've only ever seen two one-chapter stories about a male DN that didn't happen to have been written by me.

That's kind of sad.

Well, at least you don't have to worry about the Alistair angst.

Yes, but now I'll be waiting for the line 'Alistair, hold me!' to come up at some point.

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote... Yes, but now I'll be waiting for the line 'Alistair, hold me!' to come up at some point.

Why?

Modifié par Raonar, 10 juillet 2010 - 08:03 .

[Sarah1281]

Raonar wrote...

Sarah1281 wrote... Yes, but now I'll be waiting for the line 'Alistair, hold me!' to come up at some point.

Why?

It's the perfect deadpan response to Alistair's concern about the dreams, especially if the character in question wasn't all that bothered by it or dislikes being fussed after.

[Raonar]

Sarah1281 wrote...

Raonar wrote...

Sarah1281 wrote... Yes, but now I'll be waiting for the line 'Alistair, hold me!' to come up at some point.

Why?

It's the perfect deadpan response to Alistair's concern about the dreams, especially if the character in question wasn't all that bothered by it or dislikes being fussed after.

Oh...

So THAT's what DNF like to do.

Modifié par Raonar, 11 juillet 2010 - 02:18 .

[Raonar]

Believe it or not, Chapter 8: What a Fine Day For Science is already up on FF.net.

Now I really am sure i won't get anything else done for about a week or so.

EDIT

Raonar isn't immune to the taint.

Modifié par Raonar, 11 juillet 2010 - 02:16 .