29107 réponses à ce sujet

[Andaius20]

[Bugsie]

If its the one from the cgi trailer, then I have them, they are in my awesome aliens of ME file!

[Andaius20]

Pm sent your way. Also added 2 pages of pics yeterday, to my gallery.

http://tangentgirls....ius/?g2_page=50 <- work backwards.

[Xsause]

OH GOD.

I just had some fun with the Drabble Generator.

This is what came out:

Golden Love

Shepard finished packing. Ever since Garrus, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Shepard had been crooked.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing moonwalked her, all was illusive. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going on a mountain to become an iridescent bread.

Just then, there was a beautiful knock at the door. Shepard opened it and stood there hornily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her head.

When Shepard came to, Garrus was holding her crotch and looking highlighted. "My love," Garrus said flirtingly, "I'm sorry for the sparkling shock. I've been shipwrecked on a rainbow-colored island for the last ten years, living like a big, meaty sausage. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my butt in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Shepard could hardly believe her Garrus had returned. "I will always love you, butt or no butt. Besides, you can cover it up with a milk."

They embraced happily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was dark.

xD

Modifié par Xsause, 03 août 2010 - 09:26 .

[Andaius20]

*dies from lol overload*

[Andaius20]

Poor Garrus butt, was a casualty!

[Jackalope]

I'm sorry, I was too distracted...big, meatly sausage?

[Nilfalasiel]

Xsause wrote...

OH GOD.

I just had some fun with the Drabble Generator.

This is what came out:

Golden Love

Shepard finished packing. Ever since Garrus, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Shepard had been crooked.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing moonwalked her, all was illusive. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going on a mountain to become an iridescent bread.

Just then, there was a beautiful knock at the door. Shepard opened it and stood there hornily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her head.

When Shepard came to, Garrus was holding her crotch and looking highlighted. "My love," Garrus said flirtingly, "I'm sorry for the sparkling shock. I've been shipwrecked on a rainbow-colored island for the last ten years, living like a big, meaty sausage. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my butt in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Shepard could hardly believe her Garrus had returned. "I will always love you, butt or no butt. Besides, you can cover it up with a milk."

They embraced happily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was dark.

xD

ROFL!!

There are no words for the awesomeness...

[J4N3_M3]

The Drabble Generator says....
Hysterically Tripping

Anderson tripped along ironically. He was on his way to meet his lover,
Velarn, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a krogan hopping along,
carrying a floor in its mouth.

Anderson was almost against the door when he came across a funny cake,
lying alone on a red plate. "That must be a treat from my happy bear,"
he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked blue, so he
ate it.

It gave him the most angry tingling sensation in his plate. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Velarn.

When Velarn came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Anderson cried comfortingly.

"Your lips! And your talon!" Velarn said. "They're crazy! Can't you feel it?"

Anderson felt his lips and his talon. They were indeed quite crazy. "Oh,
no!" Anderson said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry.
"It must have been that funny cake you left for me. Did you know what it
would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Velarn said. "I got you a wall. It must
have been that amazing man who lives nearby. He acts a little
swooshingly, ever since he smooched a shirt."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Anderson sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Velarn said deadly, "but I
actually prefer women. And I think your lips is really beautiful like
that."

"Really?" Anderson dried her tears. Anderson kissed Velarn and it was an
entirely sad sensation, like a quarian with a tummy-ache.

They spent the night having entirely sad sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

DAMN YOU XSAUCE....NOW I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP DRABBLING THERE! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Modifié par J4N3_M3, 03 août 2010 - 10:56 .

[Andaius20]

Grunt: HA HA!

[Nilfalasiel]

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?"
They spent the night having entirely sad sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Ahahahahahaha!

Ok, here's my own contribution:

The Battle For The Meatloaf

Under a cupboard, Shepard licked her meatloaf. She had been busy with the meatloaf for hours and now wanted nothing more than a boring cuddle or a multicoloured massage from her lover Garrus.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her incandescent Garrus appeared at the door, grinning amazingly.

"Put down the meatloaf," Garrus said erotically. "Unless you want me to lick that meatloaf on your knee."

Shepard put down the meatloaf. She was astronomical. She had never seen Garrus so appalling before and it made her orgasmic.

Garrus picked up the meatloaf, then withdrew a microscope from his head. "Don't be so astronomical," Garrus said with an appalling grimace. "A platypus bit my ear this morning, and everything became intriguing. Now with this meatloaf and this microscope I can erotically rule the world!"

Shepard clutched her ingenuous ear hysterically. This was her lover, her incandescent Garrus, now staring at her with an appalling head.

"Fight it!" Shepard shouted. "The platypus just wants the meatloaf for his own incandescent devices! He doesn't love you, not the boring way I do!"

Shepard could see Garrus trembling hysterically. Shepard reached out her knee and touched Garrus's head erotically. She was incandescent, so incandescent, but she knew only her ingenuous love for Garrus would break the platypus's spell.

Sure enough, Garrus dropped the meatloaf with a thunk. "Oh, Shepard," he squealed. "I'm so boring, can you ever forgive me?"

But Shepard had already moved under a cupboard. Like a gender-confused ostrich, she pressed her knee into Garrus's head. And as they fell together in an intriguing fit of love, the meatloaf lay on the floor, orgasmic and forgotten.

Modifié par Nilfalasiel, 03 août 2010 - 11:01 .

[J4N3_M3]

oh mah gaaaaawd xD 
Mordin and his speedo Shakespeare style......

Mordin and his speedo
by William Shakespeare

Enter Mordin

his speedo appears above at a window

Mordin:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the genophage, and his speedo is the krogan.
Arise, amazing krogan, and study the sad science.
See, how she leans her arm upon her crotch!
O, that I were a glove upon that crotch,
That I might touch that arm!

his speedo:
O Mordin, Mordin! wherefore art thou Mordin?
What's in a name? That which we call an eye
By any other name would smell as happy
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a quarian with a tummy-ache"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove interesting.

Mordin:
Lady, by yonder sad science I swear
That tips in his lab the beautiful evidence--

his speedo:
O, swear not by the science, the blue science,
That swooshingly changes in its angry orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise angry.
Sweet, funny night! A thousand times funny night!
Parting is such red sorrow,
That I shall say funny night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Mordin:
Sleep dwell upon thine arm, peace in thy crotch!
Would I were sleep and peace, so ironically to rest!
deadly will I to my amazing eye's cell,
Its help to study, and my happy eye to tell.

Modifié par J4N3_M3, 03 août 2010 - 11:08 .

[J4N3_M3]

J4N3_M3 wrote...

oh mah gaaaaawd xD 
Mordin and his speedo Shakespeare style......

Mordin and his speedo
by William Shakespeare

Enter Mordin

his speedo appears above at a window

Mordin:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the genophage, and his speedo is the krogan.
Arise, amazing krogan, and study the sad science.
See, how she leans her arm upon her crotch!
O, that I were a glove upon that crotch,
That I might touch that arm!

his speedo:
O Mordin, Mordin! wherefore art thou Mordin?
What's in a name? That which we call an eye
By any other name would smell as happy
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a quarian with a tummy-ache"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove interesting.

Mordin:
Lady, by yonder sad science I swear
That tips in his lab the beautiful evidence--

his speedo:
O, swear not by the science, the blue science,
That swooshingly changes in its angry orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise angry.
Sweet, funny night! A thousand times funny night!
Parting is such red sorrow,
That I shall say funny night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Mordin:
Sleep dwell upon thine arm, peace in thy crotch!
Would I were sleep and peace, so ironically to rest!
deadly will I to my amazing eye's cell,
Its help to study, and my happy eye to tell.

and just after reloading the page, i got that one.....I'm dying here....

A Genophage In Time

On a funny and happy morning, Mordin sat in his lab. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His eye ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect his speedo to love someone with a beautiful crotch?

Swooshingly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like an angry interesting evidence, all on a summer's day. I wish his speedo would study me, in her own amazing way..."

"Do you?" his speedo sat down beside Mordin and put her hand on Mordin's arm. "I think that could be arranged."

Mordin gasped hysterically. "But what about my beautiful crotch?"

"I like it," his speedo said deadly. "I think it's red."

They came together and their kiss was like a quarian with a tummy-ache.

"I love you," Mordin said comfortingly.

"I love you too," his speedo replied and studied him.

They bought a krogan, moved in together, and lived ironically ever after.

[Xsause]

Jacob/Illusive Man Rule 34!

To Lovingly Lick



Jacob and the Illusive Man were celebrating a beautiful Valentine's Day
together. Jacob had cooked an erotic dinner and they ate on a playground
slide by candlelight.


"My darling," the Illusive Man said, stroking Jacob's tongue, "I have
something for you." He gave a box to Jacob. "It is but a hot token of my
dirty love."

Jacob opened the box. Inside was a magic time machine! He gazed at it
playfully. Then he gazed at the Illusive Man playfully. "It's slimy,"
Jacob said. "Come here and let me lick you."

Just then, a decaying crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like Tali.
"Your happiness will not last!" she said in a throbbing voice and
dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

The Illusive Man read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other huskily as the crone cackled some more.
Jacob's lips began to tremble. Then the Illusive Man shrugged, pulled
out a toad, and hit the crone on her finger. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Jacob said and kissed the Illusive Man dirtily. "This is a naughty Valentine's Day!"

They condescendingly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they pounced each other all night long.

Modifié par Xsause, 03 août 2010 - 11:21 .

[Andaius20]

NO! why!  face melting scream from Indian Jones.

Modifié par Andaius20, 03 août 2010 - 11:16 .

[Mirlam]

Xsause wrote...

Jacob/Illusive Man Rule 34!

To Lovingly Lick



Jacob and the Illusive Man were celebrating a beautiful Valentine's Day
together. Jacob had cooked an erotic dinner and they ate on a playground
slide by candlelight.


"My darling," the Illusive Man said, stroking Jacob's tongue, "I have
something for you." He gave a box to Jacob. "It is but a hot token of my
dirty love."

Jacob opened the box. Inside was a magic time machine! He gazed at it
playfully. Then he gazed at the Illusive Man playfully. "It's slimy,"
Jacob said. "Come here and let me lick you."

Just then, a decaying crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like Tali.
"Your happiness will not last!" she said in a throbbing voice and
dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

The Illusive Man read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other huskily as the crone cackled some more.
Jacob's lips began to tremble. Then the Illusive Man shrugged, pulled
out a toad, and hit the crone on her finger. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Jacob said and kissed the Illusive Man dirtily. "This is a naughty Valentine's Day!"

They condescendingly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they pounced each other all night long.

Can't....stop....laughing....

[Nilfalasiel]

Ever dreamed of a Jack/Miranda/Santa threeway?

...Cuz I sure didn't...

I Saw Jack Kissing Santa Claus

Miranda woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one pink box that looked like a dishwasher.

Then Miranda noticed that Jack was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Miranda thought that she would surprise Jack. Maybe even sneak up behind her and smack her on her astonishing forehead. That always made Jack cerebral.

Miranda crept ravenously down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its biotic lights, and the presents, heaped up mistakenly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Jack. Kissing someone.

Miranda was so angry, she picked up a mascara from a table and threw it obviously on a chair.

They both looked around.

"Jack, you furious elephant!" Miranda yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Miranda looked and then rubbed her finger and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Jack said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a flabby kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Miranda said perceptively. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be devastating."

That seemed reasonable. Miranda went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like sparkling flipflops. He made Miranda's lip feel all terrifying.

"You see?" Jack said readily and Miranda saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

Things will be devastating indeed...

[Andaius20]

Nil thats brilliant!

[Nilfalasiel]

Andaius20 wrote...

Nil thats brilliant!

I thank the Drabble Generator! Although, out of the two it gave me, I preferred the Battle for the Meatloaf one.

You know what though? I can totally imagine Jack getting drunk at a Christmas party and making out with Santa under the tree. Or the mistletoe. Or anywhere, really.

Needz moar Garrus.

Modifié par Nilfalasiel, 03 août 2010 - 11:36 .

[Chimervera]

I created one, but it's best saved for the NSFW thread.

(Yes, I do still exist)

[Andaius20]

Chimervera wrote...

I created one, but it's best saved for the NSFW thread.

(Yes, I do still exist)

Hey Chim long time!

[Xsause]

I'm going to create a group thread for these, I think.

This one creeped me out a bit:

A Smart Day To Moan

Shepard stepped badly out into the smutty sunshine, and admired Mordin's cloaca. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a fast sight."

Mordin climbed off the ninja and walked amazingly across the grass to greet his lover. Shepard patted Mordin on the neck and then tried to moan him hornily, but without success.

"That's all right," Mordin said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not awful," Shepard. "Not as awful as the time we flashed on Mordin's lab table."

Mordin nodded strangely. "We were reasonable back in those days."

"Our shoulders were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Shepard said. "Everything seems grisly and crazy when you're young."

"Of course," Mordin said. "But now we're blue, we can still have fun. If we go about it sensually."

"Sensually?" Shepard said . "But how?"

"With this," Mordin said and held out a voloptuous shrunken head. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to moan."

Shepard swallowed the shrunken head at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to moan sensually. They flashed like a virgin. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

Modifié par Xsause, 03 août 2010 - 11:42 .

[PseudoEthnic]

Andaius20 wrote...

Miranda? With armor?!?!

[Andaius20]

PseudoEthnic wrote...

Andaius20 wrote...

Miranda? With armor?!?!

http://social.bioware.com/project/2405/#gallery
It's a Texmod.

[Chimervera]

Here's one that's less dirty:

I'm Dreaming Of A Glowing Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Garrus sat dirtily in a fish tank, sipping bright eggnog.

He looked at the rainbow banana hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Shepard had hung it there, just before they looked at each other crazily and then fell into each other's arms and bit each other's mandible.

If only I hadn't been so tickling, Garrus thought, pouring a gushing amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Shepard might not have got so tingling and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a coy tear and held his toe in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a shining voice lifted fishy up in song.


I'm dreaming of a glowing Christmas

Just like a quarian with a tummy-ache



Garrus ran to the door. It was Shepard, looking reflective all over with snow.

"I missed you innocuously," Shepard said. "And I wanted to bite your mandible again."

Garrus hugged Shepard and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Shepard said.

"I think so too," Garrus said and they bit each other's mandible until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted hamster fringe and lived innocently until Garrus got drunk again.