29107 réponses à ce sujet

[Nilfalasiel]

Xsause wrote...

This one creeped me out a bit:

It's the shrunken head.

Also lol @ roasted hamster fringe

I have a variation on the "you're my brother one" that I thought worked well.

To Rapidly Wobble

Blasto and Liara were celebrating a gelatinous Valentine's Day together. Blasto had cooked a formless dinner and they ate in a flowerpot by candlelight.

"My darling," Liara said, stroking Blasto's elbow, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Blasto. "It is but a clinical token of my spectacular love."

Blasto opened the box. Inside was a transparent camera! He gazed at it contemptuously. Then he gazed at Liara contemptuously. "It's psychological," Blasto said. "Come here and let me wobble you."

Just then, a winged crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a nauseous vicar. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a melodious voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Liara read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other professionally as the crone cackled some more. Blasto's foot began to tremble. Then Liara shrugged, pulled out a pear, and hit the crone on her neck. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Blasto said and kissed Liara concisely. "This is an incomprehensible Valentine's Day!"

They bitterly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they wobbled each other all night long.

Modifié par Nilfalasiel, 03 août 2010 - 11:52 .

[PseudoEthnic]

Andaius20 wrote...
http://social.biowar...t/2405/#gallery
It's a Texmod.

Were all these made by you? I have some criticism on some of them, but most are pretty damn good.

[Andaius20]

PseudoEthnic wrote...

Andaius20 wrote...
http://social.biowar...t/2405/#gallery
It's a Texmod.

Were all these made by you? I have some criticism on some of them, but most are pretty damn good.

no I just find them.

[Andaius20]

Hmm how's this one?
____________________

I Saw Tali Kissing Santa Claus



shepard woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he
decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under
the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait
to see his presents. There was one frightning box that looked like a
Console.

Then shepard noticed that Tali was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

shepard thought that he would surprise Tali. Maybe even sneak up behind
her and smack her on her devestating leg. That always made Tali
glorious.

shepard crept hopping down the stairs and into the living room. There
was the tree, with its dreadful lights, and the presents, heaped up
pouncing, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Tali. Kissing
someone.

shepard was so angry, he picked up a deck from a table and threw it swooping in engineering.

They both looked around.

"Tali, you throbbing Vorcha!" shepard yelled. "How could you cheat on me
with...with..." shepard looked and then rubbed his arm and looked
again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Tali said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a huge kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," shepard said Huskily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be Shiny."

That seemed reasonable. shepard went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, and there was much rejoicing. He made shepard's head feel all insane.

"You see?" Tali said lazily and shepard saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

Modifié par Andaius20, 03 août 2010 - 12:13 .

[Andaius20]

-One more-

The Frightning Stranger



The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. shepard
strode along the path, making for Insane Castle with all speed. Hidden
from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Dreadful Deck, which no
other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the
Wizard Head.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he
drew his glorious Console just in time to face the throbbing woman who
flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The woman struck Huskily, and shepard barely raised his Console to
meet the attack. They fought long and hopping until all the air rang
with the sound of their conflict.

At last, shepard found himself forced to one knee, the woman's Console
pressed to his florecent leg. "I am Tali of Insane Castle," she said.
"You are an unworthy guardian for the Dreadful Deck. Prepare yourself,
for I am about to send you in engineering."

But shepard had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his
Console with a twist, overpowered Tali and pinned her to the ground.
"What say you now?" shepard said, looking down upon her.

Tali's arm shimmered and there was much rejoicing. "I have
underestimated you, shepard. I was sent to test your fitness for this
task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

shepard's desire was enflamed. His leg throbbed and all his thoughts
were to smack Tali like a Vorcha. shepard caressed Tali's Shiny arm
and she responded. They came together lazily, and their joining was as
huge as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet shuttle!" shepard groaned and smacked Tali as swooping as he could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," shepard said. "That's where I put the Dreadful Deck for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed pouncing on the grass,
forgetful of all but their devestating love. "We will stay together
forever," Tali said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Head never got the Dreadful Deck and the
forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at
least until the sequel came out.

[Andaius20]

The Drabble craze has been transferred to the Tali thread!

Modifié par Andaius20, 03 août 2010 - 12:35 .

[ThatDancingTurian]

Hey guys, long time no see! I've been lurking here for a couple of days
now, but as I read this drabble thing, I had to post what it came up with because it made me laugh... xD

A Quarian Flotilla In Time


On a badass and Batman-esque morning, Garrus sat in the battery. It was
Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His hair ached in sorrow for the
secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Shepard to
love someone with a turian fringe?

Flangily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is
like an angsty collar poppin', scopin' and droppin' mako, all on a
summer's day. I wish my Shepard would calibrate me, in her own
dextro-amino acid laden way..."

"Do you?" Shepard sat down beside Garrus and put her hand on Garrus's waist. "I think that could be arranged."

Garrus gasped perfectly. "But what about my turian fringe?"

"I like it," Shepard said seductively. "I think it's supportive."

They came together and their kiss was like a perfectly calibrated missile launcher, if you know what I mean.

"I love you," Garrus said obviously.

"I love you too," Shepard replied and calibrated him.

They bought a varren, moved in together, and lived awesomely ever after.

Modifié par Aris Ravenstar, 03 août 2010 - 12:30 .

[Andaius20]

Welcome aboard! You managed to get a nice one indeed!

[ThatDancingTurian]

Thanks! Yeah, I was lucky some of them lined up that way, like 'turian fringe'. Awesome. xD

[Sialater]

Wow, what a way to start the day.



Have a Garrus for making me giggle through my coffee:

[Andaius20]

Hey Sia! Firepower pack released for Xbox today it seems. Laser sighted pistol, Semi auto Rifle and tri barreled plasma Geth shotgun it seems.

[NICKjnp]

As I was drinking my coffe this morning trying to come up with something to ask people... it hit me. I should ask them about whether their favorite character drank tea or coffee in the morning. So what does Garrus drink in the morning... coffee or tea (or the Turian equivalent)? How does he take it and why?

[Andaius20]

He drinks Turian Gator aide. Straight up.

[Sialater]

Assuming they have a stimulant like coffee, I'd think it would be straight black. Though I guess it depends on how badly Gardner made it. (At home, I barely put sugar in my coffee, the swill at work requires sugar and creamer.)

[Nilfalasiel]

Garrus is too awesome to drink. He wills himself to stay hydrated/awake/drunk (when needed).

More seriously...he'd probably drink really strong coffee (or the dextro equivalent) with no sugar, milk, or any of that nonsense.

Modifié par Nilfalasiel, 03 août 2010 - 02:27 .

[Andaius20]

Garrus drinks tea, can't you just see him with the pinky talon sticking out when he sips his tea?

[ciaweth]

Some kind of coffee equivalent, I bet, yeah. Or who knows, maybe turians have some kind of stimulant morning pastry instead of a liquid. Mmmm, pastry.

[Sialater]

A cinnamon roll that gives you a buzz? Count me in.

[Andaius20]

Awesome!

[Pacifien]

Garrus drinks the girly drinks with little umbrellas in them. And coconut milk.

[ciaweth]

Pacifien wrote...

Garrus drinks the girly drinks with little umbrellas in them. And coconut milk.

For *breakfast*?  Hmm.  I can see him getting the girly drinks at a bar, just to throw people off.  (And may I say, them umbrellas can be used as weapons.  Saw a lady fend off unwanted touching once by stabbing a fruity drink umbrella through a guy's hand.)

[Andaius20]

Pacifien wrote...

Garrus drinks the girly drinks with little umbrellas in them. And coconut milk.

Apple tinies? 

[J4N3_M3]

Andaius20 wrote...

Pacifien wrote...

Garrus drinks the girly drinks with little umbrellas in them. And coconut milk.

Apple tinies? 

damn, you beat me to it! xD 

[Pacifien]

ciaweth wrote...

Pacifien wrote...
Garrus drinks the girly drinks with little umbrellas in them. And coconut milk.

For *breakfast*?

Garrus has had a "problem" ever since Omega...

[Sialater]

So... is that the drinking problem where he throws the drinks in his face?