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[IndigoWolfe]

An informant within the enveiling mists of Bioware have leaked the exact reasoning behind having the default appearance of Hawke be bearded.

You see, along with the new combat system comes a revolutionary new gameplay mechanic: The Manliness Meter.

The secret informant who shall remain nameless has laid it out for me thusly:

When you start out in Dragon Age 2, your character will be entirely beardless, and as the game progresses, your facial hair increases in volume --except for female character which I will get to in a bit-- and with it bringing certain combat bonuses.

It starts out with stubble, the irresistable five o'clock shadow offers a +3 bonus to Dexterity and Stamina in proportion to your increasing manliness. It also give a base increase in the Persuade skill by +5 with female NPCs you encounter.

When it starts growing longer, that's when the exact workings of the Manliness Meter start getting complicated. As you might have guessed, it ties in directly to your beard. When you get a healthy, thick beard, the bonuses include increased damage with weapon, as your enemies start to become intimidated by your now impressive soup-catching masculinity. But the persuasion bonus with female NPCs drops with elven NPCs. On the flip side, it increases with dwarven NPCs.

However, if you choose to allow your beard to grow without grooming your Manliness Meter will go up, and the weapon damage bonus increases dramatically, but it will also introduce penalties to your Dexterity and Cunning.

Grooming options will be available at camp. At first limited to a straightedge and warm water, and you will only be able to shave your beard entirely. But as you progress, the option of purchasing better razors and elaborate shaving creams and aftershaves will open up. Along with the ability to trim your beard to keep it at its current length or reducing it down to a less overt --but nonetheless manly-- stubble. However, the underlying quality of the shave with depend on how many Skill points the player dedicates to the Shaving Skill.

And alternative is going to one of the many barber shops around the world of Dragon Age 2 that will be available for player use. Here the player will be able to have their beard be given a professional workover, with stylings available that offer massive bonuses. Different establishments will have different methods however. For instance, a dwarven-run shop will offer a grooming and styling that will lend increases to the player's strength, stamina due to the mental boost of your sheer manliness, while decreasing the amount merchants charge you for goods.

On the other hand, an Antivan establishment might offer a more stylish, subtle beard. Giving increases to the player's Coercion Skills and dramatically increasing Dexterity and Cunning. Rogue's will especially benefit from this, with an exclusive bonus to Backstab damage, as the character's security in their own manliness increases.

There will also be qunari-run shops, but not many details were revealed about those. There were mentions of exclusive dreadlock stylization, but not much more besides that.

An this is not the full extent of the mechanics of the Manlines Meter either. No, there will be much more revealed in the coming months. The final fact given from the nameless informant was that the Manliness Meter's highest level, enemies will often cower in awe at the players sheer manliness. However, darkspawn enemies will be uneffected by this.

Now, there will be an equally complex system for female characters. The Period System. The informant was reluctant to reveal as much about this system, but here are the few facts I was privy to.

As the player goes along with their Female Hawke, the character will experience the female monthly period. This differs in effect. Sometimes being emotional and weepy, which gives penalties to Defense, while increasing the Persuade skill. And other times, the character will be firey and easy to anger, even sometimes lashing out at her companions. This lends a huge bonus to weapon damage, attack speed and Intimidate, however, Friendly-Fire is activated on even the lowest difficulty level. And it is doubled on the difficulty levels when it is activated.

Players will be able to manage these periods with purchasable tampons and other feminine products. Don't be fooled by the lack of details there, it promises to be just as in-depth as the Manliness Meter.

Unfortunately this is all I have at the moment, my interview was cut short by the arrival of the Bioware Secret Police. They stormed the small coffeeshop where the meeting was taking place. Gaider himself was there to oversee the operation. I barely escaped myself, smearing myself over with used coffee grounds and hiding in a nearby dumpster. I do not know the fate of my informant. In the event that he has evaded the long arm of Bioware Internal Affairs, he will remain nameless.

However, before fleeing his own way, my informant did pass on one more bit of information about the upcoming sequel to the 2009 Spike TV RPG Of The Year.


Hang on, there's someone at the door. One moment...





AHHHH!!! Montreal's Top Agents --The AliGaiders-- are at the door! It won't hold them for long, quick, the public must know!

You will have female Mabari party member in Dragon Age 2, but this time it will talk. It will be his lifelong compainion, and will give Hawke story-related quests-

*CRASH*

They're thorugh the door! Stay back!

*Crashing and thumping as I grapple with the AliGaider squad*

*Desperately clings to the keyboard, typing out the last few words*

-but it she turns out to be a manipulative ****, and her ultimate plan is to *Presses Submit before the keyboard is torn from my fingers*






End Of The Line.

[David Gaider]

I had a nice response all typed up to address this, but Hawke's beard erased it! And then slapped me in the face!



Damn his manliness!

[David Gaider]

I'm jealous. My beard only takes me to parties and occasionally mixes me a martini.

[Mary Kirby]

Maiq the Liar wrote...

Dick Delaware wrote...

Don't be naive, Lord Gremlin!

Listen, and understand! That Beard is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Or assimilated.

JUST ONE STRAY HAIR CAN DESTROY CIVILIZATIONS!

The heavens will condemn us for what we have wrought here.