253 réponses à ce sujet

[IndigoWolfe]

SamAnthem wrote...

Lol, is this for real?

 *slow blink*

[kyuubifred]

i... i laughed so hard reading this thread, i stopped breathing and felt all... light-headed....

i need to go lie down.

[Thresh the Qunari]

your not a man unless you have a beard

[JWT2k6]

Almost as manly as Captain Falcon, but not quite.

[IronVanguard]

Maiq the Liar wrote...

Sable Rhapsody wrote...

Maiq the Liar wrote...

And as we destroy the Beard, it will possess us completely, destroy Kirkwall, and lead to the events of Diablo 2- I mean DA3.

At which point Gordon Freeman turns up?  To kill us with a crowbar?  YES!

...I know it's utter crack, but I kind of want to play the Lord of the Beard now, and its sequel, Half-Life BEARD OF BAAL.

Just look at the PC model for the second game.



I also thought of a name for the series: "The Legend of Gor'Dun Hawke's Beard."

Greatest.
Game series.
Ever.
FOR THE BEARD

[0LunarEclipse0]

David Gaider wrote...

I had a nice response all typed up to address this, but Hawke's beard erased it! And then slapped me in the face!

Damn his manliness!

Duncan's was manlier. Chuck Norris he is the real life equivelent of Duncan. All hail Duncan. Manliness and praise to him.

[Lord Gremlin]

dream_operator23 wrote...

So is that why the elves were conquered and enslaved? Their lack of ability to grow beards?

YES. It was part of The Plan. Elves, Cailan, Loghain. T|he Unbeardable ones. They were a threat to ArchBeard.


Look here http://dragonage.bioware.com/da2/ or at the picture in Gameinformer. You can see 19 humanoid figures formed by Blood Dragon's wings. And Hawke in the center. As if he's... leading them...

They're Bearderers, spirits and slaves to ArchBeard's will. Once they were kings, ArchBeard promised them power and manliness but they were fools to believe. They're trapped in Fade now, slaves in ArchBeard's domain. And now they're released into the world to do it's bidding.

Can't you see? Hawke's beard IS the ArchBeard. He's leading the Bearderers. Ha, penniless refugee rises to power... No wonder! The price he'll eventually pay to ArchBeard is the question.

Modifié par Lord Gremlin, 11 juillet 2010 - 08:06 .

[Behindyounow]

The Unbeardable one's destruction was not simply because they could not grow beards, and thus could not be controlled... Oh no... for you see, they had been toiling to build a weapon capable of destroying the ArchBeard. Rumors say it looked like a simple razor, but there was a major difference. Half of this razor existed in the material realm... the other half in the Fade. It was said to be so sharp that even thinking about it could you shaving cuts. If there was one weapon capable of destroying the ArchBeard, that would be it.


The Unbeardable ones locked it away in a prison constructed of mirrors and harderened shaving foam, waiting for the one to use it against the ArchBeard. The BeardTamer, they called him (or her. the prophecies are not Gender specific). One who can grow a beard, and through sheer force of will, hold off the taint of the ArchBeard.


When they finally take the mantle of The BeardTamer and take the FadeRazor, they must let the ArchBeard try and take control of them. As it exerts it's foul will on the BeardTamer's beard, they must shave it off, destroying the ArchBeard, and themselves in the process. Assuming that the BearTamer isn't overtaken by the ArchBeard's malign will of course, or that the FadeRazor is enough to destroy it.

Modifié par Behindyounow, 11 juillet 2010 - 09:15 .

[Lord Gremlin]

So, basically we have ultimate sacrifice again in order to destroy the ArchBeard. But I suppose there must be some dark alternative to sacrificing yourself?

[Behindyounow]

Why yes, there is.

First of all, you can fool a trusted friend into believing he is the BeardTamer. When he is eventually possessed by the ArchBeard after growing his own beard, you shave his beard with the FadeRazor, destroying him in foamy agony.

You will also be able to Bargain with one of the ArchBeard's chosen acolytes who still has a small measure of free will. By allowing him to give a beard to everyone in existence, the ArchBeard will be destroyed by the surging influx of Manly power. However a small sliver of the ArchBeard will live on in everyone's beards, tainting them slightly.

Modifié par Behindyounow, 11 juillet 2010 - 09:58 .

[brain_damage]

That's actually Duncan's beard. It ran away after Duncan was killed and took a new host - Hawke from Lothering. The beard is mind controlling him and making him do heroic deeds. Duncan was a nobody too, at least until he found the BEARD.

[Lord Gremlin]

Looks like female Hawke won't have an option to sacrifice herself then. You should also consider the possibility of use of Darkspawn taint here. Haven't you noticed - Darkspawn have no beards and Grey Wardens, even possessed by ArchBeard minions like Duncan, retain a large part of their personality and will. It's just a matter of choice - what would you rather put up with - Darkspawn taint or ArchBeard's taint?

P.S. This also explains why darkspawn always fail no matter how huge their horde is - they lack beards and therefore lack manliness required to win.

[snfonseka]

IndigoWolfe wrote...

The above poster had far too much time on his hands.

No doubt about it!

[obnoxiousgas]

Dude, come on! At least give spoiler warnings for stuff like this.



Although in the matters of equality, I demand that female options also be given the option of growing beards. My fem!Hawke needs to be the manliest character out there. Either that or we need oestrogen and testosterone to be attributes in DA2.

[Lord Gremlin]

obnoxiousgas wrote...
Although in the matters of equality, I demand that female options also be given the option of growing beards. My fem!Hawke needs to be the manliest character out there. Either that or we need oestrogen and testosterone to be attributes in DA2.

I think you'll be given the option to grow a beard as a female character, but I hope you do understand that at certain point the companion your Hawke romances will force a choice between him and her beard due to inconvenience of kissing.
If you refuse to shave your beard this will lead to break up and massive disapproval with no chance of romancing this character again during current playthrough. And if you agree and shave your beard you won't have the option to sacrifice yourself in the end.

[Behindyounow]

The Darkspawn are actually servants of the ArchBeard. The original Darkspawn were the circle mages who grew the beards that would eventually become the ArchBeard. They foolishly grew their beards into the Fade, where they gained sentience and formed together into the Abomination known as the ArchBeard.



They thought to eclipse the Maker in their manliness, and thus doomed all of creation. So he decided to curse them. Make them into twisted mockerys of men. However, the Maker himself is bearded, (well, he has a soul patch) which allowed the ArchBeard to taint his creations, turning the Darkspawn into foul, yet unbearded minions of the ArchBeard. The Mere presence of the ArchBeard in the Maker's city turned the Golden City hairy. The maker himself vowed never to be controlled again, and so had a shave and departed to the furthest reaches of the Fade, never to be seen again.



It is said that when you enter the fade, you can always see the hairy city in the sky, forever out of reach... and forever in need of a shave.

[Lord Gremlin]

Well, the original Darkspawn are said to be Tevinter magisters. It makes sense: in Tevinter Empire blood magic is widely used and Tevinter robes are hairy. Why? Because Empire is basically ruled by ArchBeard's minions. Blood magic can't harm beards, since they have no blood ("creatures without blood are immune"). ArchBeard doesn't want it's slaves to have weapons against it, yet it wants them powerful enough to enforce it's will upon the world.

Now Andraste's "crusade" makes sense. Maker wanted to weaken Tevinter, otherwise by the time fifth Blight began ArchBeard would have all the world enslaved.

I suspect Hawke will have to fight both darkspawn and Tevinter.

From now on I will destroy every hairy Tevinter robe I find in game. And if that means Anders will be naked, so be it.

[Darth_Trethon]

I think there should be a new Beard ability available to all classes that would have 5 levels instead of the usual 4 of all other abilities and at its highest level(5) it would be called "The Beard Of Doom" which would instantly cause all enemies within a mile of Hawke to instantly drop down in absolute horror and die of fear.

[wikkedjoker]

Hawke's beard might be okay. . . but its nothing compared to Sage's



http://img10.imagesh...1/blamesage.jpg

[Darth_Trethon]

wikkedjoker wrote...

Hawke's beard might be okay. . . but its nothing compared to Sage's

Bwahahahaha no......his beard lost all its power when he decided to make it look silly and stupid. The stats of that beard are:

Charisma -1000
Special Ability: Pile of Suck(all stats -100)

[AlexXIV]

Lord Gremlin wrote...

Well, the original Darkspawn are said to be Tevinter magisters. It makes sense: in Tevinter Empire blood magic is widely used and Tevinter robes are hairy. Why? Because Empire is basically ruled by ArchBeard's minions. Blood magic can't harm beards, since they have no blood ("creatures without blood are immune"). ArchBeard doesn't want it's slaves to have weapons against it, yet it wants them powerful enough to enforce it's will upon the world.
Now Andraste's "crusade" makes sense. Maker wanted to weaken Tevinter, otherwise by the time fifth Blight began ArchBeard would have all the world enslaved.
I suspect Hawke will have to fight both darkspawn and Tevinter.
From now on I will destroy every hairy Tevinter robe I find in game. And if that means Anders will be naked, so be it.

Well legend has it the Archbeard was originally the Maker's golden Beard. And that the Tevinters sneaked into the Golden City and stole it. That caused all power of the beard leave the golden City and it turned black.

[Tennyochan]

every zombie/apocalyptic movie needs a guy with a beard. he usually is
a) the tough guy you can rely on
the psycho guy that will kill you....... oh...
well thats perfect for DA2!


wait...you dont think a chick will pop out of it do you :S

Modifié par tennyochan, 11 juillet 2010 - 12:40 .

[Darth_Trethon]

tennyochan wrote...

every zombie/apocalyptic movie needs a guy with a beard. he usually is
a) the tough guy you can rely on
the psycho guy that will kill you....... oh...
well thats perfect for DA2!

Holy hell you may be onto something!! What if the beard tries to kill Hawke? We'd all be done for.....nobody can defeat such a beard!!