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[MindYerBeak]

Bioware today confirmed that DAO2 is under development. Release date is expected the third quarter of 2011, around Christmas time.

A spokesman for Bioware said, "I can confirm DAO2 is well underway and that the team has been working on it in the background after the success of DAO. DAO2 will include better graphics, an orchestrated musical score and will include a completely new cast of Warden characters."

When asked if players would see the return of Morrigan the spokesman said that she will be making a comeback in order to enhance the storyline, but will be a little fatter than she appeared in DAO. The game will carry a PG 18 certificate and will feature all out nudity. "That way your character starts from scratch and you're able to dress your character appropriately as the game progresses," the spokesman said.

The game will feature the very popular 3.5 D&D ruleset and will contain 366 spells, one for each day of the year, plus a spare. More weapons will be introduced, including a BFG and a Kalishnikov, though ammo will be in short supply. "This was included to satisfy the Console players," a spokesman said. There will be over 2,000 quests and sidequests, mostly handed out by Genlocks during the heat of battle. Silly Mage costumes and hats have been dispensed with and will be replaced by a pair of trousers or a kilt, depending on the sex of your character, with male characters wearing the kilt. All trouserses will be steam pressed to show off the creases and will have deep pocketses to save purchasing extra backpacks. Staves will be replaced with wands, more fitting for a Wizzy Wiz characters. The Charm Spell has been upgraded and you can now use it on your party members instead of chatting them up. Unfortunately it won't work on Morrigan.

There will be 116 characters throughout the game who can be recruited on to your team, including the Archdemon himself. The main boss, who was previously the Archdemon, has been replaced by Duncan, who will be more formidable than the Archdemon. A Duncan spokesman said, "He made us an offer we couldn't refuse." A team will have 14 members instead of the usual 4. By including this feature we were able to extend gameplay to 624 hrs, he said. The Mad Mage will make a comeback, together with his Mad Wife and Mad Kids. They no longer live in an old tree stump, instead they live in a flat in the cemetery above, leased to them by a very kind Revenant. The Rhyming Tree will now also be able to recite Shakespeare and the complete works of Tennyson. Elder trees which attack you can now be defeated with coconuts.

Rogues have now been renamed Rouges in order to satisfy console gamers who can't spell. Rouges will be able to backstab members of their own party during arguments. Stealing has been improved and the Rouge will even be able to steal from party members, including himself. Stealth has also been improved, to such an extent that the Rouge can often get lost looking for himself. Traps will be more numerous, including the Laughing Gas Trap which can also be used on party members. Leliana will now sing Song of Courage whilst strumming a ukelele. Rouges will also be able to backstab with 3 weapons instead of the usual 2. Tri weilding will also be a feature of warriors, especially Oghren and Sten. There are no plans to issue Rouges with makeup kits.

Warriors will feature new attributes. Strength will be replaced with bodybuilding and Steroids have been introduced in place of health pots. Bigger shields have been introduced, now being 9 feet in height and 6 feet in width. Swords are now bigger and Shale will be used to carry them into battle. There will be 2 warriors to weild one sword.

More NPCs are to be introduced and will include lots of beggars which you can take a swipe at. Kids will throw stones at you, do Moonies, and poke out their tongues. Traders will tell you to **** *** if you don't buy anything from them.

Graphics have been updated and now you will be able to see Morrigan and Leliana cry. Bigger and better breasts are to be introduced, but not enough to obstruct anyone's view. Dragons will no longer be red, but pink in order to satisfy the female players among us. Heads will no longer lurch from side to side like a yo-yo when characters talk to you. 

"We hope the improvements in DAO2 will satisfy both console and PC owners", a spokesman said. "Another improvement we've made will be to release a patch within the first 12 months, and every 12 months thereafter."

[Massadonious1]

New and interesting.

[SnakeHelah]

Imagination much?