Saibh wrote...
Sable Rhapsody wrote...
mopotter wrote...
I disagree that being told something about me reminds my LI of a dead loved one is a bad thing, now if he said something reminds him of his x then I'd be concerned.
and I remember once when Carth does make the comparison, he asked if it was inappropriate, but I have to admit I don't remember how often he makes the comparison. I just remember that one time. I may need to dust it off and play again.
I do agree with you that BioWare may be/probably does - use the dead wife because of the other idea of woman hanging around and they may think women have a bad attitude about divorced men, but that's not necessarily true, especially if you are married to the divorced man.
I would love to have another background for future LI, X's are fine as long as he stays with me and doesn't expect me to fight for him. I just don't have a problem with the dead wife one. I wouldn't mind a player - a guy who has a few past relationships, and my character is the last.
The thing is that from a social psychology standpoint, IRL, comparing a current relationship to a previous relationship and continuing to draw parallels between the two, ESPECIALLY if the previous partner is dead, is usually unhealthy and uncomfortable for the other partner. Carth compares you to his wife. Thane has replacement goldfish syndrome up the wazoo, even calling Shep "siha" as he did for Irikah. I understand this is a video game and we can get away with bending or idealizing reality, but there are just some things that bother me IRL or in video games. One is the Cullenmance. The other is this kind of replacement thing.
Worse is that you can't call Carth out on it. And if you try to call out Thane, he interprets it as breaking the romance. If you could just work out your issues, then have it be over and done with, it'd be fine. But as it is, I find it distressing.
To add, it's happened so many times. If it happened once or twice, I doubt I would have noticed. But there's a dead-something in just about every BioWare game. BGII, ME, ME2, DAO, JE, KOTOR, NWN and NWN: HotU. All of them. Some of them are more blatant and groan-worthy than others, but I think that's an overabundance, don't you?
I do agree they need to widen the background stories.
Carth, Sky, Thane - dead wife/live child or dead child
Zev many partners killed his girlfriend
But they do have a few others.
Alistair, no past loves
Liara, no past loves
Garrus, well we don't know much about his background except there was the ummm wrestling match, and he has a super duper voice, which I would not mind hearing as a LI in DA.
Silk Fox, I don't think she had any past relationships or I didn't pay attention.
Leliana has an evil x.
Kaidan had a crush on a girl when he was highschool age and killed a man because of her and that's all we know about his past.
Aaroin Gend was a slave, killed a few people, I can't remember him talking about his past other than that
Valen Shadowbreath, doesn't trust you at the beginning and I don't remember anything else except the tail. Loved the tail.
I know i"m missing the ones from BG and maybe some others, but can't remember them.
So yes, I do agree they could widen the background pool, but they have done other backgrounds. Some better than others and I don't particularly want a dead wife in DA, but I don't want a complete mystery either. I want to know if I need to see a doctor after I've spent time with my LI.

Some hint that he has been meditating in a cave for 20 years or just drifted apart from his last lover. Or played - how many sex partners can I have in 3 weeks. (thinking Barney Stinson here) I'll probably enjoy whatever they write up, and everyone has come up with interesting ideas.
The only thing I'll be disappointed about is if they limit our choices to one. As much as I adore Carth, it would have been nice to have the option of Canderous.