This requires some explanation on my behalf.
Firstly, let us study the current iterations of the Dragon Age phrase. All Dragon Age games released so far begin with 'Dragon Age:', followed by a single-word phrase giving some very vague indication of what the game's about apart from, presumably, ancient Dragons misplacing their canines and forgetting where their naphtha sacks are several times during a rampage. A cunning strategy indeed, on the part of the writers at Bioware, to avoid putting any numbers in the title whatsoever while also deftly side-stepping the rather embarrassing rut of having to call the expansion 'Dragon Age 1.5'.
The two phrases used in place of unimaginative digits were Origins and Awakening, both very strong finishers that are relevant to the events within both games while still managing to sound far more deep and philosophical than such words on their own really deserve to¹. It was an extremely promising start to a naming convention for the Thedas saga that I, for one, was completely unprepared for the market-driven regurgitation of an aspect so mindlessly incorporated into the titles of sequels in several forms of media that it directly alters the mental state of related workers in order to prevent questioning as to why something more imaginative couldn't be used².
Since no-one knows exactly where creativity rests in the brain, especially the inexplicable, conveniently invisible forces of digits, this involves turning the brain off and necromantically controlling their minds throughout production, like zombies. Each numbered sequel in development therefore directly feeds into the power of digits through this zombie enslavement, and the resulting products are directly responsible for the wholesale slaughter of millions of innocent children³.
Dragon Age.
Dragon Age.
Dragon.
Age.
It's such a woody phrase. It has gusto, might, verbal force of the sort you could effectively decapitate someone with. 'Dragon Age' doesn't simply refer to the setting of the game, it assaults the mind, forces itself upon it, and doesn't respect you in the morning. It leaves zero doubt in your mind that there are Dragons, and either they, you, the world, or the universe are very, very old. It makes you realise: you are young, you are not a dragon, and the knowledge sticks to you, never leaving, never letting you rest.
2.
Two.
To.
Too.
What the bloody hell was that? Did someone sneeze? Wait, you said that's the name of the game? Part of the name? Deary me. What can you do with a word like that? What does it say? "Here's another one! I know how to count!" Pah! It doesn't say anything meaningful beyond being the next one in sequence. Overused. Tinny. Boring. Mike Laidlaw likely cries himself to sleep in the knowledge that this child of his is so unfortunately named.
Would you torture your employees so, Bioware? What is your role in this? Can you not see?! All you're doing is embracing the beast we should be so fervently stabbing with deathroot-tipped knives and icy dispositions! Rise, Bioware! Show the industry you will not be cowed so easily by the overwhelming power of digits! They only have as much importance as you give them! Show the world you know this! You alone will lead gaming out of this proverbial rut, and into the blindingly bright° highways of creative ability!
Are you up to the task?
¹ - This is another sign of cunning writing, if you trick your audience into thinking 'origins' means much more than 'this is the first one', it allows you to take credit for anything they think up that's better, because they expected you to have thought of it in the first place.
² - [citation needed]
³ - 'Children' in this context meaning 'fan hopes and dreams', which can and will lead to actual wholesale slaughter of real children, just you watch.
° - Enlightenment, godhood, rising up in any form always seems to involve really bright lights. This, naturally, means that the people on the path have no idea where they're going once they've started. I'd mention that this is related to creative writing in some way, but that'd be telling.
Modifié par General Balls, 24 juillet 2010 - 06:36 .
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