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1000 Envirosuit Reapers
Daro'Xen paced slowly back and forth. Dastardly dread filled her heart.
Tali should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her
to be late. Oh, my intelligent love, Daro'Xen thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Tali had been taken
hostage by Immunodeficient Ass, a supervillain who had the city in a
state of beatiful terror. Daro'Xen fainted dead away, you've got more
curves than a country road.
When she came to, there was a bump on her face and the dastardly dread
had returned. "Tali, my sorry honey bunny," she cried out quickly. "What
is Immunodeficient Ass doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing
occasionally as he kissed her in the hip.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Daro'Xen remembered a story
her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 envirosuit Reapers, then
whatever you wish for will come true.
Daro'Xen ordered in a supply of envirosuit and set to work, folding
Reapers until her face was sore and she could hardly see. It took a
week. She was just finishing up the very last Reaper when Tali walked in
the front door.
"Tali!" Daro'Xen screamed and threw herself into Tali's arms. "It
worked! I folded 1000 envirosuit Reapers and it brought you back to me."
She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing in Shepard's cabin. She
kissed Tali curvy on the hip.
"Actually," Tali said, pulling away huskily, "I was rescued by the
Resentful Quarian. She's a new superhero in town." Tali sighed. "And
she's really sexy."
The dastardly dread came back. "But you're hot to be back here with me, right?"
Tali checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Resentful
Quarian for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay
unintelligible, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.
Daro'Xen choked back a sob and started folding another Reaper. Then she went out and got drunk instead.
The Adventure Of The Reaper
Daro'Xen and Tali were out for a beautiful Valentine's walk in Shepard's
cabin. As they went, Tali rested her hand on Daro'Xen's hip. It was the
most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so resentful,
Daro'Xen was filled with sexy dread.
"Do you suppose it's unintelligible here?" she asked occasionally.
"You intelligent silly," Tali said, tickling Daro'Xen with her envirosuit. "It's completely dastardly."
Just then, an immunodeficient Reaper leapt out from behind a quarian and kissed Tali in the ass. "Aaargh!" Tali screamed.
Things looked sorry. But Daro'Xen, although she was hot, knew she had to
save her love. She grabbed a faceplate and, you've got more curves than
a country road, beat the Reaper curvy until it ran off. "That will
teach you to kiss innocent people."
Then she clasped Tali close. Tali was bleeding quickly. "My darling," Daro'Xen said, and pressed her lips to Tali's face.
"I love you," Tali said slowly, and expired in Daro'Xen's arms.
Daro'Xen never loved again.
An Unintelligible Occurrence
Daro'Xen paced up and down, jiggling her hip. Her very good friend, Mary
Sue Quarian, had arranged to meet her here in Shepard's cabin. "I have
something resentful to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Quarian was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now,
Daro'Xen expected to see her bounce up, her hot hair streaming behind
her and her beautiful eyes aglow.
Daro'Xen heard footsteps, but they seemed rather immunodeficient for a
delicate and sorry girl like Mary Sue Quarian, whose tread was sexy. She
turned around and found Tali staring at her.
"What are you doing here?" Tali said quickly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Daro'Xen had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't
acted so slowly. "Mary Sue Quarian asked to meet me here." As she gazed
at Tali, her face began to throb huskily.
"Oh," Tali said, curvy. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Daro'Xen said and caught Tali by her ass. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Tali said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, you've got more curves than a country road.
From behind a faceplate, Mary Sue Quarian watched with a dastardly light
in her intelligent eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked
off "Daro'Xen/Tali". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man
find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the Reaper from extinction.
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Modifié par Thundertactics, 03 août 2010 - 12:37 .
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