lol.. looks like i'm going off to war? ha!
Off-Topic Story The not so epic conclusion has arrived!
Débuté par
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
, juil. 30 2010 04:50
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#127
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 04:00
Darthnemesis2
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As much as this story makes no sense whatsoever, I want more dammit!!!
#128
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 10:30
marbatico
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Edit: Spam image removed.my owm edit: but its true! it IS a cool story bro!
Modifié par marbatico, 31 juillet 2010 - 04:24 .
#129
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 01:51
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Part: Eleven: Lost, no not the tv show.
Joker was obviously not in Kansas anymore, he was on a planet that appeared to be entirely made up us grasslands and savanas. And Shepard was nowhere to be seen. Joker wished he had his legs, or at least a wheelchair. For the next few weeks he lived off eating grass and drinking his own urine. But his life looked like it was coming to a end; the night was cold and Joker tried to curl up into a ball. But failed because he had no legs and was disgusting, crippled, ugly, smelly, weak, bloated, and brittle and most of all he was ugly! All of a sudden a light came down from the sky and illuminated Joker.
Joker: Ugh, what the hell is going on?
He began to slowly float into the air, at first it was'nt that bad. Then he floated higher and faster, so high and fast he left the atmosphere.
Joker: Where am I going?
He looked aroung and saw the planet beneath him, then he look up and saw the spacestation that he was being taken to. Then he lost consciouness. He woke up on a cold stone floor, he looked around he was in a big white room that appeared to have no entrance or exit. Just like a insane allylem of the future. Was this it had Joker gone insane? Was this really reality? Next to him was a chair and a white stone table with some food on it. Being hungry Joker didn't think twice about eating the food that had been left there for him. Climbing up into the chair was a struggle, after all he had no legs. BAM!!! Then a white object shot out of the wall at superfast like speeds and got right up in his face!
Joker: AH!
Joker fell backward and spilt his food over himself. Because infront of him was the Supreme Dalek.
Supreme Dalek: You will eat and regain strength!
Joker: What why?
Supreme Dalek: Your legs are required and are of need to us!
Joker: Um I don't have any legs. Can I go now?
Supreme Dalek: You have no legs? Then you are of no use to us!
Joker: Amen.
Supreme Dalek: You will be exterminated!
Joker: Wait! Didn't you know humens can regrow our legs? Give me food and I will show you.
Supreme Dalek: You will recive food supplements, then your will regenerate your legs for us!
Joker: *gulp*
Joker was obviously not in Kansas anymore, he was on a planet that appeared to be entirely made up us grasslands and savanas. And Shepard was nowhere to be seen. Joker wished he had his legs, or at least a wheelchair. For the next few weeks he lived off eating grass and drinking his own urine. But his life looked like it was coming to a end; the night was cold and Joker tried to curl up into a ball. But failed because he had no legs and was disgusting, crippled, ugly, smelly, weak, bloated, and brittle and most of all he was ugly! All of a sudden a light came down from the sky and illuminated Joker.
Joker: Ugh, what the hell is going on?
He began to slowly float into the air, at first it was'nt that bad. Then he floated higher and faster, so high and fast he left the atmosphere.
Joker: Where am I going?
He looked aroung and saw the planet beneath him, then he look up and saw the spacestation that he was being taken to. Then he lost consciouness. He woke up on a cold stone floor, he looked around he was in a big white room that appeared to have no entrance or exit. Just like a insane allylem of the future. Was this it had Joker gone insane? Was this really reality? Next to him was a chair and a white stone table with some food on it. Being hungry Joker didn't think twice about eating the food that had been left there for him. Climbing up into the chair was a struggle, after all he had no legs. BAM!!! Then a white object shot out of the wall at superfast like speeds and got right up in his face!
Joker: AH!
Joker fell backward and spilt his food over himself. Because infront of him was the Supreme Dalek.
Supreme Dalek: You will eat and regain strength!
Joker: What why?
Supreme Dalek: Your legs are required and are of need to us!
Joker: Um I don't have any legs. Can I go now?
Supreme Dalek: You have no legs? Then you are of no use to us!
Joker: Amen.
Supreme Dalek: You will be exterminated!
Joker: Wait! Didn't you know humens can regrow our legs? Give me food and I will show you.
Supreme Dalek: You will recive food supplements, then your will regenerate your legs for us!
Joker: *gulp*
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 31 juillet 2010 - 01:53 .
#130
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 01:52
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Part Twelve: Was, was morder?
Vangaurd of Destruction, smecky-ketteh and Norskatt had sucessfully infultrated the Third Reich. They now stood in front of a towering cathedril-like stone building, a giant **** flag hanging from its talled spire. Norskatt figeted in her uniform. She looked hawt, snugg in all the right places. She looked at her too companions, who were staring at her with the utmost of lust on their faces. She thought they was nice people on the forums, but realized they where pervs.
Vangaurd of Destruction: The plot is telling me to go this way!
smecky-kitteh: But that's the Reichstag!
Norskatt: Look a secret enterence!
Vangaurd of Destruction: Look, but Gemaphrodite has the key to get inside!
Norskatt: Gemaphrodite is a ****?
smecky-kitteh: I has a plan! Norskatt will-
Norskatt: I don't want to do it.
smecky-ketteh: Cm'on!
Norskatt made her eyes really big and watery, she faked a tear and got really close up to Vangaurd and smecky. Because both where pervs and wanted her badly they couldn't say no. That was one of the advantages of being attrative, guys just can't say no. She sat back and watched they approched Gemaphrodite.
Gemaphrodite: Ja, bereit sich zu?
Vangaurd of Destruction: Listen give us the key or we are going to have to take it from you!
smecky-kitteh: YEAH YOU TELL E'M VANGAURD!
Gemaphrodite:Wolken wie ein großer Adler auf einem großen!
Gemaphrodite pulled out a MP40 and began to shoot and Vangaurd and smecky.
Both began to run away in terror!
Gemaphrodite: Blitz Zug hat die Segel Arura der stummen Abfälle Gemeinden festgelegt. Es ist verrückt Mann! Wenn die Wolken Teil Hanf und Glanz das Licht der Liebe und der Musik der Regenbogen Doppel-und werdet sein wie.
But Gemaphrodite didn't get far because Gemaphrodite's shoe laces where tied together! Gemaphrodite tripped and fell onto the ground and couldn't get up and died. Norskatt then grabbed the key and her team entered Fia Dan's building.
There was a giant spiral staircase leading up to Fia Dan's office. Then Norskatt decided to pretend collaspe.
Vangaurd of Destruction: ZOMG WTF Norskatt is hurt!
They both ran back down to her and leaned over her body, their deep breaths where like gusts of rotting fish.
Vangaurd of Destruction: Are you okay? Do you need us to carry you out of here and to saftey?
Both of em tried to puff out their stomachs and act tough.
Norskatt: I think I broke my leg, go on assassinate Fia Dan with out me.
Both of them instinctively did as she orders. Once they where out of sight she snuck back down and head to the nearest coffee shop. Norskatt laughed all the way.
Meanwhile in Britain, Shepard paced impatiently. She glanced at the clock, supposedly Fai Dan should have been assissinated by now. Zaeed and Blinky (Legion) was busy emplementing Shepard's plan to track down FDR, so with out bothering them she decided to call up Fia Dan to see if he was dead yet.
She dailed the number and waited for a answer.
Fia Dan: Yeah Hallo?
Yeah Hello?
Shepard: Um yeah... This is Shepard.
Fia Dan: Ach ja, bereit sich zu ergeben?
Ah yes, ready to surrender?
Shepard sighed. This was not her day.
Zaeed: Is he dead?
She put her hand over the phone to talk to Zaeed.
Shepard: This sucks, the assassins have failed.
Fia Dan: Was, was morder?
What, what assassins?
Fia Dan turned around to come face to face with smecky-ketteh and Vangaurd of Destruction, both of which where about to stab the Fuher.
Fai Dan: Morder! Sie arbeiten fur den Mann, Mann...
Assassins!You work for the man, man..
Shepard pick up bits of what was happening on the other end of the line. She could hear Fia Dan swearing in german rage, next came screams and crys from both smecky-kitteh and Vangaurd of Destruction ending with machine gun fire.
Zaeed: These bloomers are itchy!
Vangaurd of Destruction, smecky-ketteh and Norskatt had sucessfully infultrated the Third Reich. They now stood in front of a towering cathedril-like stone building, a giant **** flag hanging from its talled spire. Norskatt figeted in her uniform. She looked hawt, snugg in all the right places. She looked at her too companions, who were staring at her with the utmost of lust on their faces. She thought they was nice people on the forums, but realized they where pervs.
Vangaurd of Destruction: The plot is telling me to go this way!
smecky-kitteh: But that's the Reichstag!
Norskatt: Look a secret enterence!
Vangaurd of Destruction: Look, but Gemaphrodite has the key to get inside!
Norskatt: Gemaphrodite is a ****?
smecky-kitteh: I has a plan! Norskatt will-
Norskatt: I don't want to do it.
smecky-ketteh: Cm'on!
Norskatt made her eyes really big and watery, she faked a tear and got really close up to Vangaurd and smecky. Because both where pervs and wanted her badly they couldn't say no. That was one of the advantages of being attrative, guys just can't say no. She sat back and watched they approched Gemaphrodite.
Gemaphrodite: Ja, bereit sich zu?
Vangaurd of Destruction: Listen give us the key or we are going to have to take it from you!
smecky-kitteh: YEAH YOU TELL E'M VANGAURD!
Gemaphrodite:Wolken wie ein großer Adler auf einem großen!
Gemaphrodite pulled out a MP40 and began to shoot and Vangaurd and smecky.
Both began to run away in terror!
Gemaphrodite: Blitz Zug hat die Segel Arura der stummen Abfälle Gemeinden festgelegt. Es ist verrückt Mann! Wenn die Wolken Teil Hanf und Glanz das Licht der Liebe und der Musik der Regenbogen Doppel-und werdet sein wie.
But Gemaphrodite didn't get far because Gemaphrodite's shoe laces where tied together! Gemaphrodite tripped and fell onto the ground and couldn't get up and died. Norskatt then grabbed the key and her team entered Fia Dan's building.
There was a giant spiral staircase leading up to Fia Dan's office. Then Norskatt decided to pretend collaspe.
Vangaurd of Destruction: ZOMG WTF Norskatt is hurt!
They both ran back down to her and leaned over her body, their deep breaths where like gusts of rotting fish.
Vangaurd of Destruction: Are you okay? Do you need us to carry you out of here and to saftey?
Both of em tried to puff out their stomachs and act tough.
Norskatt: I think I broke my leg, go on assassinate Fia Dan with out me.
Both of them instinctively did as she orders. Once they where out of sight she snuck back down and head to the nearest coffee shop. Norskatt laughed all the way.
Meanwhile in Britain, Shepard paced impatiently. She glanced at the clock, supposedly Fai Dan should have been assissinated by now. Zaeed and Blinky (Legion) was busy emplementing Shepard's plan to track down FDR, so with out bothering them she decided to call up Fia Dan to see if he was dead yet.
She dailed the number and waited for a answer.
Fia Dan: Yeah Hallo?
Yeah Hello?
Shepard: Um yeah... This is Shepard.
Fia Dan: Ach ja, bereit sich zu ergeben?
Ah yes, ready to surrender?
Shepard sighed. This was not her day.
Zaeed: Is he dead?
She put her hand over the phone to talk to Zaeed.
Shepard: This sucks, the assassins have failed.
Fia Dan: Was, was morder?
What, what assassins?
Fia Dan turned around to come face to face with smecky-ketteh and Vangaurd of Destruction, both of which where about to stab the Fuher.
Fai Dan: Morder! Sie arbeiten fur den Mann, Mann...
Assassins!You work for the man, man..
Shepard pick up bits of what was happening on the other end of the line. She could hear Fia Dan swearing in german rage, next came screams and crys from both smecky-kitteh and Vangaurd of Destruction ending with machine gun fire.
Zaeed: These bloomers are itchy!
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 31 juillet 2010 - 01:56 .
#131
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 03:27
Norskatt
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Oh that's classic..lol (and sooo like me!)
#133
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 05:11
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Part Thirteen: A bunch of people going on a trip in ancient Egypt.Ancient Egypt!
JRCHOharry's throne room!
Mordin: Really glad to be getting married!
Anderson: Your a doushe, Mordin.
JRCHOharry: Now is the time for the wedding!
Ashley: What makes you think I'm getting married to these gay lovers?
Anderson: We are not gay!
Mordin: Well, that discription only would fit me halfway.
Dark Liliths: Ewww.
JRCHOharry: Better yet, screw the wedding! We going straight to the sacrifices! Godhood here I come.
In a massive caravan, JCHOharry, Seagloom, the Dark Liliths, MessyPossum, his royal gaurds, a elephant, Anderson, Ashley and Mordin departed into the desert. It was really hott, so hott infact that Mordin was drinking his own sweat to keep hydrated.
Anderson: That's gross.
Ashley: No kidding, salarians are filthy creatures!
Mordin: Anphibians not suited for arid climates!
Ashley: Where are we going?
JRCHOharry was sitting atop his thrown that was strapped to the elephant.
JRCHOharry: I'm not telling you! It will be a massive suprise though! Mah wahahaha!
Ashley: Your insane!
JRCHOharry: That's what the turian councilman told me when I released the Rachni!!!
All of a sudden there was a splat!
Anderson: OMG WTF MAN! LOOK AT THAT!
Anderson looked down to see his shoes sopping wet. He looked back up to see messypossum right infront of him.
DarkLilith: What is that?
Messy Possum: My water just broke. The contractions are 4 mins apart!
He fell onto the ground, but no one cared because a figure in the far distance slowly approched the caravan.
Dark Lilith: I wonder who that is.
The person was wearing a dark cloak and hood, the caravan came to a full stop as the figure stood infront of them. JRCHOharry hopped off his elephant/throne and addressed the shadowy person.
JRCHOharry: Darth Jayder? Is that you?
Rubbish Hero: JRCHOharry! Let my people go!
JRCHOharry's throne room!
Mordin: Really glad to be getting married!
Anderson: Your a doushe, Mordin.
JRCHOharry: Now is the time for the wedding!
Ashley: What makes you think I'm getting married to these gay lovers?
Anderson: We are not gay!
Mordin: Well, that discription only would fit me halfway.
Dark Liliths: Ewww.
JRCHOharry: Better yet, screw the wedding! We going straight to the sacrifices! Godhood here I come.
In a massive caravan, JCHOharry, Seagloom, the Dark Liliths, MessyPossum, his royal gaurds, a elephant, Anderson, Ashley and Mordin departed into the desert. It was really hott, so hott infact that Mordin was drinking his own sweat to keep hydrated.
Anderson: That's gross.
Ashley: No kidding, salarians are filthy creatures!
Mordin: Anphibians not suited for arid climates!
Ashley: Where are we going?
JRCHOharry was sitting atop his thrown that was strapped to the elephant.
JRCHOharry: I'm not telling you! It will be a massive suprise though! Mah wahahaha!
Ashley: Your insane!
JRCHOharry: That's what the turian councilman told me when I released the Rachni!!!
All of a sudden there was a splat!
Anderson: OMG WTF MAN! LOOK AT THAT!
Anderson looked down to see his shoes sopping wet. He looked back up to see messypossum right infront of him.
DarkLilith: What is that?
Messy Possum: My water just broke. The contractions are 4 mins apart!
He fell onto the ground, but no one cared because a figure in the far distance slowly approched the caravan.
Dark Lilith: I wonder who that is.
The person was wearing a dark cloak and hood, the caravan came to a full stop as the figure stood infront of them. JRCHOharry hopped off his elephant/throne and addressed the shadowy person.
JRCHOharry: Darth Jayder? Is that you?
Rubbish Hero: JRCHOharry! Let my people go!
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 31 juillet 2010 - 05:13 .
#134
Guest_MessyPossum_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 05:21
Guest_MessyPossum_*
Guest_MessyPossum_*
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If it's a boy, Alexander. If it's a girl, Lipton Green Tea. *swoons over the miracle of child birth, but needs something to offset the INCREDIBLY MASSIVE PAIN*
Modifié par MessyPossum, 31 juillet 2010 - 05:22 .
#136
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 05:52
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Part Fourteen: Attack of the Klu Klux Pimps!
Narskatt was drinking her tea when in a flash of Garrus, she was aboard Celrath's Intergalatic Space Ocean Liner, she saw Tali handcuffed to Vangaurd of Destruction's mobile stripper pole, the Tardis, Funkcase and the soccer match between Celrath and Dr. Who.
Things wasn't look good for Celrath, the Doctor was ahead by 60 pts.
Funkcase: Don't worry you can win through the power of love!
Celrath: Using your Tardis and sonic screw driver is cheating! And cheating is only okay if I'm the one doing it!
Dr. Who scored another goal, and the game was over.
Dr. Who: Looks like I have won! And Tali is mine!
Celrath: Actually, she still belongs to me.
Celrath held his personal Anti-matter nuke/laser 8500, the most over powered weapon in the Universe right to Dr. Who's head.
Capt. Kirk: Actually she's ours now!
The Captain of the Enterprise stood on the soccer field with his hands on his hips and with a Legion of Klu Klu Pimps behind him!
Celrath: Tell me, where are the rest of your friends?
Capt. Kirk: They will be ariving at any moment and i'm afraid both of you don't have that long.
Then Capt. Cornhole's Klu Klux Pimps rushed the field in a onslaught of racism and bling. The grabbed Funkcase and turned him into a Klu Klux Pimp! Funkcase was now EVIL! But Celrath didn't care, using his most overpowered weapon in the universe he blew the living **** out of the KKP. But where has the Doctor gone?
Celrath flew over to Vangaurd of Destruction's mobile stripper pole, Dr. Who was busy un-handcuffing Tali Zorah.
Tali: Eww, your the most disgusting version of the Doctor ever! David Tennant was wayyy hawter!
Dr. Who: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! Listen, don't blame me for trying to live up to standards I can't achive!
David Tennant is a blight, people always compare me to him. It's not fair! Just make it stop!
Celrath: Don't worry it will.
He bit into Dr. Who's neck, the blood rushed from his body! Dr. Who squimed and squiggled and thrashed about he eventually died from blood loss.
Tali: Thanks.
Celrath: Come with me!
Tali: Aren't you going to untie me?
Celrath: No.
The vampire grabbed the stripper pole and turned around to head down stairs, but Norskatt was standing there. And then wack! She hit him directly in the face with a crowbar. Celrath was kocked out cold.
Tali: Your a little short for a humen.
Norskatt: I'm luke Skywalker, and I'm here to rescue you.
Tali: Luke Skywalker?
Norskatt: Yeah well, I get often Norskatt confused with Skywalker. Come with me!
She grabbed the stripper pole and dragged it down stairs. It was a bumpy ride for Tali, she hit her chin going down every step.
Tali: Why haven't you untied me?
Norskatt: Not enough time!
Norskatt looked behind them and swarms more of KKP stormed down the stairs chaseing them.
Celrath woke up just intime to see the rest of Kirk's pals show up in their starships. He was mad, using the most over powered weapon in the universe he blew a hole in the side of his Intergalatic Space Ocean Liner. He flew in to search for Tali and Norskatt. But Norskatt has haveing a tough time fighting off the Klu Klux Pimps and Capt. James T. Kirk! She swung the stripper pole around and decapitated some KKP.
Tali: Stop swinging me around!
Capt. Kirk: Surernder now or we will be forced to snicker snag on your corspes.
The Anti-matter Nuke/laser 8500, shot a whole in the deck! Lots of KKP died, it was glorious!
Norskatt: Celrath?
Celrath: I will suck your blood later, come with me!
Norskatt: Suck my blood?
Celrath: It's what I do.
Celrath locked the bulkhead behind them, unable to get in the KKP and Krik retreated to their starships.
Tali: Why have they stopped chasing us.
Celrath: They are going to blow up my Ocean Liner!
Norskatt: What are we going to do? We have to escape!
Celrath: What the hell do you think I'm doing?
He dragged them to the bowls of the ship, in the engine room was a much smaller ship. A Interstellar Space Van as a matter of fact. They all managed to squeeze inside, they had some trouble getting Vangaurd of Destruction's stripper pole inside.
Tali: Do we still need that?
Norskatt and Celrath: YES!
Celrath piloted his Interstellar Space Van out the bottom of the hull, the ocean liner behind them exploded as the Evil Villian's ships toar it apart.
GreedIsNoException: Stop him, he is getting away!
Sloth of Doom: I don't wanna!
Celrath, Norskatt and Tali had sucessfully escaped.
Norskatt: Where are you taking us?
Celrath: To a planet so old and grassy that it can feed a million shifty cows!
Tali: What are you talking about?
Celrath: The Forbiden Planet! There is a subteraining dungeon on that planet where I can use Tali's hips to unlock the power that will enable me to rule the Universe!
Norskatt: I just pooped a little.
Narskatt was drinking her tea when in a flash of Garrus, she was aboard Celrath's Intergalatic Space Ocean Liner, she saw Tali handcuffed to Vangaurd of Destruction's mobile stripper pole, the Tardis, Funkcase and the soccer match between Celrath and Dr. Who.
Things wasn't look good for Celrath, the Doctor was ahead by 60 pts.
Funkcase: Don't worry you can win through the power of love!
Celrath: Using your Tardis and sonic screw driver is cheating! And cheating is only okay if I'm the one doing it!
Dr. Who scored another goal, and the game was over.
Dr. Who: Looks like I have won! And Tali is mine!
Celrath: Actually, she still belongs to me.
Celrath held his personal Anti-matter nuke/laser 8500, the most over powered weapon in the Universe right to Dr. Who's head.
Capt. Kirk: Actually she's ours now!
The Captain of the Enterprise stood on the soccer field with his hands on his hips and with a Legion of Klu Klu Pimps behind him!
Celrath: Tell me, where are the rest of your friends?
Capt. Kirk: They will be ariving at any moment and i'm afraid both of you don't have that long.
Then Capt. Cornhole's Klu Klux Pimps rushed the field in a onslaught of racism and bling. The grabbed Funkcase and turned him into a Klu Klux Pimp! Funkcase was now EVIL! But Celrath didn't care, using his most overpowered weapon in the universe he blew the living **** out of the KKP. But where has the Doctor gone?
Celrath flew over to Vangaurd of Destruction's mobile stripper pole, Dr. Who was busy un-handcuffing Tali Zorah.
Tali: Eww, your the most disgusting version of the Doctor ever! David Tennant was wayyy hawter!
Dr. Who: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! Listen, don't blame me for trying to live up to standards I can't achive!
David Tennant is a blight, people always compare me to him. It's not fair! Just make it stop!
Celrath: Don't worry it will.
He bit into Dr. Who's neck, the blood rushed from his body! Dr. Who squimed and squiggled and thrashed about he eventually died from blood loss.
Tali: Thanks.
Celrath: Come with me!
Tali: Aren't you going to untie me?
Celrath: No.
The vampire grabbed the stripper pole and turned around to head down stairs, but Norskatt was standing there. And then wack! She hit him directly in the face with a crowbar. Celrath was kocked out cold.
Tali: Your a little short for a humen.
Norskatt: I'm luke Skywalker, and I'm here to rescue you.
Tali: Luke Skywalker?
Norskatt: Yeah well, I get often Norskatt confused with Skywalker. Come with me!
She grabbed the stripper pole and dragged it down stairs. It was a bumpy ride for Tali, she hit her chin going down every step.
Tali: Why haven't you untied me?
Norskatt: Not enough time!
Norskatt looked behind them and swarms more of KKP stormed down the stairs chaseing them.
Celrath woke up just intime to see the rest of Kirk's pals show up in their starships. He was mad, using the most over powered weapon in the universe he blew a hole in the side of his Intergalatic Space Ocean Liner. He flew in to search for Tali and Norskatt. But Norskatt has haveing a tough time fighting off the Klu Klux Pimps and Capt. James T. Kirk! She swung the stripper pole around and decapitated some KKP.
Tali: Stop swinging me around!
Capt. Kirk: Surernder now or we will be forced to snicker snag on your corspes.
The Anti-matter Nuke/laser 8500, shot a whole in the deck! Lots of KKP died, it was glorious!
Norskatt: Celrath?
Celrath: I will suck your blood later, come with me!
Norskatt: Suck my blood?
Celrath: It's what I do.
Celrath locked the bulkhead behind them, unable to get in the KKP and Krik retreated to their starships.
Tali: Why have they stopped chasing us.
Celrath: They are going to blow up my Ocean Liner!
Norskatt: What are we going to do? We have to escape!
Celrath: What the hell do you think I'm doing?
He dragged them to the bowls of the ship, in the engine room was a much smaller ship. A Interstellar Space Van as a matter of fact. They all managed to squeeze inside, they had some trouble getting Vangaurd of Destruction's stripper pole inside.
Tali: Do we still need that?
Norskatt and Celrath: YES!
Celrath piloted his Interstellar Space Van out the bottom of the hull, the ocean liner behind them exploded as the Evil Villian's ships toar it apart.
GreedIsNoException: Stop him, he is getting away!
Sloth of Doom: I don't wanna!
Celrath, Norskatt and Tali had sucessfully escaped.
Norskatt: Where are you taking us?
Celrath: To a planet so old and grassy that it can feed a million shifty cows!
Tali: What are you talking about?
Celrath: The Forbiden Planet! There is a subteraining dungeon on that planet where I can use Tali's hips to unlock the power that will enable me to rule the Universe!
Norskatt: I just pooped a little.
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 31 juillet 2010 - 05:57 .
#137
Guest_Gameiac_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 06:09
Guest_Gameiac_*
Guest_Gameiac_*
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I see I has returned so I will read the rest of these later(busy right now) >
also @sparrow: you are the sidekick, my name has a capital letter at the beggining showing importance and also chickens are bigger then sparrows 'nuff said
also @sparrow: you are the sidekick, my name has a capital letter at the beggining showing importance and also chickens are bigger then sparrows 'nuff said
#138
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 08:27
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Note this is out of order, read the next two parts below this first.
Part Seventeen: Let MY people go!
Rubbish Hero: I said let my people go!
JRCHOharry: What people?
Rubbish Hero: MY PEOPLE!
JRCHOharry: Can you elaborate on that?
Rubbish Hero: My antfarm! You have MY antfarm! MY people.
JRCHOharry: Oh I totally forgot I had that. Here you go.
Seagloom brought foward a woven basket and gave it to Rubbish Hero.
Rubbish Hero: You the best!
He set the basket down, leaned over and opened it. Then with out warning a cobra jumbed out and bit him in the face!
Rubbish Hero: AH! I need that to for eating, seeing, hearing, smelling and most importantly of all smokeing.
JRCHOharry: Ha ha ha! Never ever ever trust a insane pharaoh!
As Rubbish Hero died Seagloom and JRCHOharry did a bodyslam followed by a double fist pound, they where clearly from da hood.
JRCHOharry climbed back onto his throne and grabbed Rubish Hero's antfarm.
JRCHOharry: Oh I could never part with you, my prize. Oh my prescious prize.
Mordin, Anderson, Messy Possum, Ashley, Seagloom and the eleven Dark Liliths where becoming concerned about the mental state of the phraroh. But they didn't have much time to worry about it because...
JRCHOharry: WE ARE HERE!
Anderson: That's not a pyramid!
JRCHOharry: That's right! This is no normal pyramid, because it is a upside down pyramid!
In the desert sands stood the eighth wonder of the world, JRCHOharry's upsidedown pyramid. The crown stuck out of the ground and went big till the very top where the base was.
Mordin: Incredible! Excensive slave labor required for such feet.
Dark Lilith: Look, it's incredible!
JRCHOharry: Yes, I know I am.
MessyPossum: No it's Ashley!
Indeed Ashley's hair had grown back, and much to the suprise of Chris Priestly it was blonde. And that made Ashley instantly dumb!
Mordin: It now proven in science, blond hair is recessive trait.
Ashley: Eh guys do you have any lip balm, it;s like mega hott out here.
Anderson: Oh my god! She's stupid!
Ashley: I don't wana stay out here, can we go inside I don't wana catch swine flu.
Kaidan: JRCHOharry, JRCHOharry! The Isrealites are escaping!
JRCHOharry: I'm kinda busy, your old enough now. Why don't you take my chariot and chase them down.
Kaidan: Thanks, your the best father a biotic misfit like me could ask for. I just want to let you know I know fow you feel Its like a tapeworm inside of you, forcing its way up your throat and out your mouth in a euphoria of vomit and guilt, and you feel like you can't live on in this ugly world, you look at yourself in the mirror you look at yourself and realized just how lumpy the lump on your head is and how horrible your hair is *sobbing* AND THAT NO ONE LOVES YOU-
Messy Possum: I can't stand him anymore! WHY didn't you die on Vermire!
He ran at Kaiden and beat his head up against a rock, blood splattered everywhere!
Ashley: Look out, Kaidan's lump is actually a bomb.
Anderson: She's dumb! No one listen to her!
Suddenly there was an explosion the engulfed Kaidan and Messey Possum, guts and blood was scattered everywhere. Everyone's jaw dropped.
JRCHOharry: Oh well, into the pyramid!
Several hours of crawling through tunnels later, JRCHOharry, Ashley, Anderson, Mordin, the Eleven Dark Liliths and Seagloom where inside the burial chamber, it was dark cold and really sweaty. There was a sarcophogus in the middle and it was surrounded by all of JRCHOharry's gold and jewlery he had stolen from population of Egypt.
Ashley: It's cold in here, does anyone have any lip balm?
Anderson: Shut up!
Ashley: But my lip balm!
Dark Lilith: Where is JRCHOharry?
JRCHOharry: Here I am!
He poped his head out of the sarcophogus, he had Rubish Hero's ant farm and was busy pouring spices on his body inorder to preserve it for the after life.
JRCHOharry: I just want to say thank you soo much. It sucks to be all of you given about what about is to happen next, but I couldn't have done it with out you.
Anderson: Wait what happens next?
JRCHOharry: I become a god!
He slithered back inside his sarcophogus and sealed it. Then sand started falling from the ceiling onto the floor of the chamber!
Anderson: He is going to burry us alive with him!
Inside the carophogus JRCHOharry was laughing maniacly like a mad man at the situation outside. The DarkLiliths tried opening the sarcophogus back up, but failed the sand was alread up to everyone's knees.
Seagloom: JRCHOharry! I should perma-ban you for this!
When he heard seagloom say that the sargophogus shook with laughter.
Anderson: Quickly spread you weight out, so you don't sink into the sand!
Mordin: Anderson I love you!
JRCHOharry burst out of his tomb!
JRCHOharry: What? A gay salarian?
Seagloom: There he is, lets ban him!
He quickly shut the sargophogus before anyone could get to him.
Mordin: I always felt strongly for you, lets make babies!
Anderson: Salarians sure are perverts!
Mordin: What makes you think i'm salarian?
Anderson: Um.
Then Mordin exploded, Mordin was actually Isabelle Mortello!
Anderson: Holly ****!
Ashley: Lip Balm!
Isabella Mortello: Here you go.
Ashley: This lip balm sucks!
Seagloom: Where are the Dark Liliths?
The Dark Liliths where already dead a burried in the sand.
Anderson, Isabella Mortello, Seagloom and Ashley climbed to the top the chamber, but the sand was still coming in.
Anderson: We are soo screw!
Isabella Mortello: Oh no I have scabies!
Wablam! Part of the ceiling exploded and it was Seaglooms pet sparkly-pink pony/dragon/octopuss/reaper/cheetah, Mr. Sprinkles! And he came to rescue them!
Seagloom hoped on to Mr. Sprinkles.
Isabella Mortello: Wait for us!
Seagloom: Wait for you? Ha! If I remember correctly all of you voted for Stanley Woo as your favorite moderator, not me!
Isabella Mortello: You are pure evil!
Seagloom: Oh btw, consider yourself banned.
Isabella Mortello: NO!
Seagloom swung her banhammer! It hit Isabella ans she recieved a perma-pan from the rest of the story.
Seagloom took off on Mr. Sprinkles and flew of into the sunset, thus leaving Anderson and Ashley to die in JRCHOharry's trap!
Part Seventeen: Let MY people go!
Rubbish Hero: I said let my people go!
JRCHOharry: What people?
Rubbish Hero: MY PEOPLE!
JRCHOharry: Can you elaborate on that?
Rubbish Hero: My antfarm! You have MY antfarm! MY people.
JRCHOharry: Oh I totally forgot I had that. Here you go.
Seagloom brought foward a woven basket and gave it to Rubbish Hero.
Rubbish Hero: You the best!
He set the basket down, leaned over and opened it. Then with out warning a cobra jumbed out and bit him in the face!
Rubbish Hero: AH! I need that to for eating, seeing, hearing, smelling and most importantly of all smokeing.
JRCHOharry: Ha ha ha! Never ever ever trust a insane pharaoh!
As Rubbish Hero died Seagloom and JRCHOharry did a bodyslam followed by a double fist pound, they where clearly from da hood.
JRCHOharry climbed back onto his throne and grabbed Rubish Hero's antfarm.
JRCHOharry: Oh I could never part with you, my prize. Oh my prescious prize.
Mordin, Anderson, Messy Possum, Ashley, Seagloom and the eleven Dark Liliths where becoming concerned about the mental state of the phraroh. But they didn't have much time to worry about it because...
JRCHOharry: WE ARE HERE!
Anderson: That's not a pyramid!
JRCHOharry: That's right! This is no normal pyramid, because it is a upside down pyramid!
In the desert sands stood the eighth wonder of the world, JRCHOharry's upsidedown pyramid. The crown stuck out of the ground and went big till the very top where the base was.
Mordin: Incredible! Excensive slave labor required for such feet.
Dark Lilith: Look, it's incredible!
JRCHOharry: Yes, I know I am.
MessyPossum: No it's Ashley!
Indeed Ashley's hair had grown back, and much to the suprise of Chris Priestly it was blonde. And that made Ashley instantly dumb!
Mordin: It now proven in science, blond hair is recessive trait.
Ashley: Eh guys do you have any lip balm, it;s like mega hott out here.
Anderson: Oh my god! She's stupid!
Ashley: I don't wana stay out here, can we go inside I don't wana catch swine flu.
Kaidan: JRCHOharry, JRCHOharry! The Isrealites are escaping!
JRCHOharry: I'm kinda busy, your old enough now. Why don't you take my chariot and chase them down.
Kaidan: Thanks, your the best father a biotic misfit like me could ask for. I just want to let you know I know fow you feel Its like a tapeworm inside of you, forcing its way up your throat and out your mouth in a euphoria of vomit and guilt, and you feel like you can't live on in this ugly world, you look at yourself in the mirror you look at yourself and realized just how lumpy the lump on your head is and how horrible your hair is *sobbing* AND THAT NO ONE LOVES YOU-
Messy Possum: I can't stand him anymore! WHY didn't you die on Vermire!
He ran at Kaiden and beat his head up against a rock, blood splattered everywhere!
Ashley: Look out, Kaidan's lump is actually a bomb.
Anderson: She's dumb! No one listen to her!
Suddenly there was an explosion the engulfed Kaidan and Messey Possum, guts and blood was scattered everywhere. Everyone's jaw dropped.
JRCHOharry: Oh well, into the pyramid!
Several hours of crawling through tunnels later, JRCHOharry, Ashley, Anderson, Mordin, the Eleven Dark Liliths and Seagloom where inside the burial chamber, it was dark cold and really sweaty. There was a sarcophogus in the middle and it was surrounded by all of JRCHOharry's gold and jewlery he had stolen from population of Egypt.
Ashley: It's cold in here, does anyone have any lip balm?
Anderson: Shut up!
Ashley: But my lip balm!
Dark Lilith: Where is JRCHOharry?
JRCHOharry: Here I am!
He poped his head out of the sarcophogus, he had Rubish Hero's ant farm and was busy pouring spices on his body inorder to preserve it for the after life.
JRCHOharry: I just want to say thank you soo much. It sucks to be all of you given about what about is to happen next, but I couldn't have done it with out you.
Anderson: Wait what happens next?
JRCHOharry: I become a god!
He slithered back inside his sarcophogus and sealed it. Then sand started falling from the ceiling onto the floor of the chamber!
Anderson: He is going to burry us alive with him!
Inside the carophogus JRCHOharry was laughing maniacly like a mad man at the situation outside. The DarkLiliths tried opening the sarcophogus back up, but failed the sand was alread up to everyone's knees.
Seagloom: JRCHOharry! I should perma-ban you for this!
When he heard seagloom say that the sargophogus shook with laughter.
Anderson: Quickly spread you weight out, so you don't sink into the sand!
Mordin: Anderson I love you!
JRCHOharry burst out of his tomb!
JRCHOharry: What? A gay salarian?
Seagloom: There he is, lets ban him!
He quickly shut the sargophogus before anyone could get to him.
Mordin: I always felt strongly for you, lets make babies!
Anderson: Salarians sure are perverts!
Mordin: What makes you think i'm salarian?
Anderson: Um.
Then Mordin exploded, Mordin was actually Isabelle Mortello!
Anderson: Holly ****!
Ashley: Lip Balm!
Isabella Mortello: Here you go.
Ashley: This lip balm sucks!
Seagloom: Where are the Dark Liliths?
The Dark Liliths where already dead a burried in the sand.
Anderson, Isabella Mortello, Seagloom and Ashley climbed to the top the chamber, but the sand was still coming in.
Anderson: We are soo screw!
Isabella Mortello: Oh no I have scabies!
Wablam! Part of the ceiling exploded and it was Seaglooms pet sparkly-pink pony/dragon/octopuss/reaper/cheetah, Mr. Sprinkles! And he came to rescue them!
Seagloom hoped on to Mr. Sprinkles.
Isabella Mortello: Wait for us!
Seagloom: Wait for you? Ha! If I remember correctly all of you voted for Stanley Woo as your favorite moderator, not me!
Isabella Mortello: You are pure evil!
Seagloom: Oh btw, consider yourself banned.
Isabella Mortello: NO!
Seagloom swung her banhammer! It hit Isabella ans she recieved a perma-pan from the rest of the story.
Seagloom took off on Mr. Sprinkles and flew of into the sunset, thus leaving Anderson and Ashley to die in JRCHOharry's trap!
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 31 juillet 2010 - 09:12 .
#139
Guest_MessyPossum_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 08:38
Guest_MessyPossum_*
Guest_MessyPossum_*
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I died?... Boooooooo-urns. Did I ever have that child?
Modifié par MessyPossum, 31 juillet 2010 - 08:42 .
#140
Guest_Isabelle Mortello_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 08:39
Guest_Isabelle Mortello_*
Guest_Isabelle Mortello_*
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Hahaha. How fitting.
#141
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 08:45
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Hope you liked it.
#142
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 08:53
marbatico
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- 2 323 messages
why did you call its part seventeen?
#143
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 09:02
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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- Guests
marbatico wrote...
why did you call its part seventeen?
Lol Thanks for catching that. I skipped ahead accidently
#144
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 09:04
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Part Fifteen: The Intergalatic Council of Really Kickass Good Guys!
The intergalatic council of really kick ass good guys! Randumb Vangaurd, Swordfishtrombone, Kaiser Shepard, Godak, Onyx Jaguar, silver-sparrow and YokoFactor had been monitoring the League of Evil's progress of steeling Tali's hips.
Onyx Jaguar: This is stupid, they are obviously incompotent and are no threat to the Universe.
Randumb Vangaurd: Agreed, now lets order pizza!
A series of cheers filled the cave they where in.
silver-sparrow: Can we get the cheese filling, I like the cheese filling.
Swordfishtrombone: Can we get the pizza that doesn't have swordfish or trombones used in the ingredients. It's feels like canibilism to me.
silver-sparrow: Grow a pair!
YokoFactor handed Randumb Vangaurd the phone to place the order. Then out of the shadows came their leader Kaiser Shepard.
Kaiser Shepard: Are you ****ting me? I'm gone for a miniute and you are all ordering pizza? What about the fate of the galaxy?
YokoFactor: But you promised us pizza the last for the last three days!
Kaiser Shepard: I lied, pizza is bad for you.
Godak: The leauge of Evil isn't a threat to us!
silver-sparrow: EVIL!!!
Kaiser Shepard:If they get Tali's hips they will become unstoppable we will all be wiped out of existence!
YokoFactor: Is that a good or bad thing?
Randumb Vangaurd: Are you trying to tell us we need to stop evil?
silver-sparrow: EVIL!!!
Randumb Vangaurd: Will you stop that?
Kaiser Shepard: So the only choice left is to steel Tali's hips from Celrath, the power inside will allow us to save the Universe! We will be herald as saviors! We will get infinite fame, wealth, power, prostitutes and did I mention wealth?
Randumb Vangaurd: Yeah, and then you could buy a kickass base to have our meeting in. You mom's basement is getting old.
Kaiser Shepard: I told you it's a coop living arangement!
Swordfishtrombone: Lets get those hips!
Godak: Fame and fortune!
Everyone let out a cheer, as the boarded their ships
The intergalatic council of really kick ass good guys! Randumb Vangaurd, Swordfishtrombone, Kaiser Shepard, Godak, Onyx Jaguar, silver-sparrow and YokoFactor had been monitoring the League of Evil's progress of steeling Tali's hips.
Onyx Jaguar: This is stupid, they are obviously incompotent and are no threat to the Universe.
Randumb Vangaurd: Agreed, now lets order pizza!
A series of cheers filled the cave they where in.
silver-sparrow: Can we get the cheese filling, I like the cheese filling.
Swordfishtrombone: Can we get the pizza that doesn't have swordfish or trombones used in the ingredients. It's feels like canibilism to me.
silver-sparrow: Grow a pair!
YokoFactor handed Randumb Vangaurd the phone to place the order. Then out of the shadows came their leader Kaiser Shepard.
Kaiser Shepard: Are you ****ting me? I'm gone for a miniute and you are all ordering pizza? What about the fate of the galaxy?
YokoFactor: But you promised us pizza the last for the last three days!
Kaiser Shepard: I lied, pizza is bad for you.
Godak: The leauge of Evil isn't a threat to us!
silver-sparrow: EVIL!!!
Kaiser Shepard:If they get Tali's hips they will become unstoppable we will all be wiped out of existence!
YokoFactor: Is that a good or bad thing?
Randumb Vangaurd: Are you trying to tell us we need to stop evil?
silver-sparrow: EVIL!!!
Randumb Vangaurd: Will you stop that?
Kaiser Shepard: So the only choice left is to steel Tali's hips from Celrath, the power inside will allow us to save the Universe! We will be herald as saviors! We will get infinite fame, wealth, power, prostitutes and did I mention wealth?
Randumb Vangaurd: Yeah, and then you could buy a kickass base to have our meeting in. You mom's basement is getting old.
Kaiser Shepard: I told you it's a coop living arangement!
Swordfishtrombone: Lets get those hips!
Godak: Fame and fortune!
Everyone let out a cheer, as the boarded their ships
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 31 juillet 2010 - 09:08 .
#145
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 09:05
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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Part Sixteen: The molestation of EDI.
Adams had slowly noticed the the crew aboard the Normandy has been diapearing, one by one a crew member vanished and was replaced with an asari hooker. Adams was convinced Dranklin Delanore Rosevelt was behind it.
Adams: Can you check the number of asari aboard?
EDI: Twenty Seven.
Adams: And humens?
EDI: Two.
Adams: Then that means, he is replacing the crew with asari!
Franklin Delenor Rosevelt: And I would have gotten away with it to if it werent for you meddling kids.
FDR stood in the bulkhead, blocking Adams' only exit.
Adams: EDI!
FDR reached for his pistol, but his polio was like..
Polio: Nu-uh.
So FDR had to sit down and take a rest. Then Adams quickly bolted out of the engine room.
Franklin Delenor Rosevelt: Attack my blue prostitutes! May we stimulate the galatic economy with cheep labor!
Skanky asari chased Adams down the corridor!
EDI: Adams run faster I am sealing the bulkhead infront of you.
Adams leaped through the bulkhead just in time. He tried to get up but realized an asari has grabbed his foot! He was being pulled back through the bulkhead.
Asari: RAWR!
The Chief Engineer grabbed a crowbar and hit the asari, finally she lossened her grip. He quickly made it through before it shut.
Adams went to the AI core, thats where he stored EDI's robot body.
Adams: EDI, I'm downloading you to a mobile platform!
EDI: Affermitive.
EDI's robot body was all silver and platinum and looked like Tricia Helfer from Gattlestar Balatica, except the only notable difference was the Thigh High Boots Adams designed for good measure.
The chief Engineer went *ding* and salivated over EDI's new body, he reached out and felt her breast. He rubbed it till the metal heated up and became warm. He got closer and rubbed his crotch up against her leg. His tounge potruded out of his mouth, he began to lick his creation. He reached for the chocolate, but thats when...
EDI: I do not apprectiate your sexual advances on me, Adams.
Adams: Oh yes, sorry he he.
Wablam! A red lightsaber stuck through the door, it sliced open a circle allowing room for a entrance. Then a great wind came forth a blew the door down, and the room was filled with smoke. And two figures stepped into the open, one was dressed wearing dragg it was Darth Jayder! And the Biotic God and Gamiac appeared behind him.
Darth Jayder:*breathing heavily through mask* I am strong with the Dark Side. You pitiful scum are no match for me. Your fear only serves to increase my hatred. I will crush you all unless you join me. It is your destiny. The Dark Side of the force bends you to my will. *evil laughter* Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as Sith Lord and Peons. You think that just because I wear this pimpin Calvin Klein bikini and designer Oakley mask that I'm not for real? Think again. These thigh high boots do more than just walking. I don't wear the best fashion just because I look godly...which I do, but it is because I can squash you all like bugs and look good doing it.
Darth Jayder reached out and force choked marbatico, marbatico squirmed and died.
Darth Jayder: So...what's it gonna be? Join me or die beneath my gold encrusted pumps and at the hand of my Sony Lightsabre?
Adams: Sweet! can I join the dark side? I want to be just like you.
Darth Jayder: Well too bad, because no one can be as awesome as I am, besides FDR wants both of you dead.
They grabbed and brought em to Franklin Delenor Rosevelt who was at the cockpit.
Adams: You son of a ****! Let EDI go!
Franklin Delenor Rosevelt: I think I might just do that, the polio is kicking in and hardcore robot sex isn't my thing anymore. Gamiac she is yours now.
Gamiac began to peck away at EDI, who he pretended was Celrath.
Biotic God: Fear me mortal! Our sexual intercourse will sweep the galaxy away and into my hands like a great wind!
Gamiac: That made no sence.
Biotic God: It makes more sence then Darth Jayder wearing drag.
Darth Jayder: It isn't drag. Why does everyone say that.
FDR: Now Adams, you have illuded me long enough. And it is time for you to die.
Darth Jayder: Feel the dark side! You turn me on! UGH!
He was about ready to decapitate Adams, when.....
Darth Jayder: ZOMGWTFBBQLOLROFLCOPTERLOLBRBFML!
Everyone looked out the nearest window! It was Shepard and she was attacking the Normandy!
Adams: Holly ****, is that Great Britian!?
Shepard, Zaeed, and Blinky (Legion) had sucessfully dug up the continent of Great Britian, built a atmospheric dome above the major cities and attached baloons as a method of transportation. But even worse for the Normandy was that Harbinger had arived too.
FDR: Why would anyone attack me? Im sexy!
But before Shepard or Harbinger could get a shot off, the Normandy went vroom, and escaped. Immediately Harbinger and Great Britian entered persuit of the SSV Normandy, the Normandy's destination was the Forbiden Planet!
Adams had slowly noticed the the crew aboard the Normandy has been diapearing, one by one a crew member vanished and was replaced with an asari hooker. Adams was convinced Dranklin Delanore Rosevelt was behind it.
Adams: Can you check the number of asari aboard?
EDI: Twenty Seven.
Adams: And humens?
EDI: Two.
Adams: Then that means, he is replacing the crew with asari!
Franklin Delenor Rosevelt: And I would have gotten away with it to if it werent for you meddling kids.
FDR stood in the bulkhead, blocking Adams' only exit.
Adams: EDI!
FDR reached for his pistol, but his polio was like..
Polio: Nu-uh.
So FDR had to sit down and take a rest. Then Adams quickly bolted out of the engine room.
Franklin Delenor Rosevelt: Attack my blue prostitutes! May we stimulate the galatic economy with cheep labor!
Skanky asari chased Adams down the corridor!
EDI: Adams run faster I am sealing the bulkhead infront of you.
Adams leaped through the bulkhead just in time. He tried to get up but realized an asari has grabbed his foot! He was being pulled back through the bulkhead.
Asari: RAWR!
The Chief Engineer grabbed a crowbar and hit the asari, finally she lossened her grip. He quickly made it through before it shut.
Adams went to the AI core, thats where he stored EDI's robot body.
Adams: EDI, I'm downloading you to a mobile platform!
EDI: Affermitive.
EDI's robot body was all silver and platinum and looked like Tricia Helfer from Gattlestar Balatica, except the only notable difference was the Thigh High Boots Adams designed for good measure.
The chief Engineer went *ding* and salivated over EDI's new body, he reached out and felt her breast. He rubbed it till the metal heated up and became warm. He got closer and rubbed his crotch up against her leg. His tounge potruded out of his mouth, he began to lick his creation. He reached for the chocolate, but thats when...
EDI: I do not apprectiate your sexual advances on me, Adams.
Adams: Oh yes, sorry he he.
Wablam! A red lightsaber stuck through the door, it sliced open a circle allowing room for a entrance. Then a great wind came forth a blew the door down, and the room was filled with smoke. And two figures stepped into the open, one was dressed wearing dragg it was Darth Jayder! And the Biotic God and Gamiac appeared behind him.
Darth Jayder:*breathing heavily through mask* I am strong with the Dark Side. You pitiful scum are no match for me. Your fear only serves to increase my hatred. I will crush you all unless you join me. It is your destiny. The Dark Side of the force bends you to my will. *evil laughter* Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as Sith Lord and Peons. You think that just because I wear this pimpin Calvin Klein bikini and designer Oakley mask that I'm not for real? Think again. These thigh high boots do more than just walking. I don't wear the best fashion just because I look godly...which I do, but it is because I can squash you all like bugs and look good doing it.
Darth Jayder reached out and force choked marbatico, marbatico squirmed and died.
Darth Jayder: So...what's it gonna be? Join me or die beneath my gold encrusted pumps and at the hand of my Sony Lightsabre?
Adams: Sweet! can I join the dark side? I want to be just like you.
Darth Jayder: Well too bad, because no one can be as awesome as I am, besides FDR wants both of you dead.
They grabbed and brought em to Franklin Delenor Rosevelt who was at the cockpit.
Adams: You son of a ****! Let EDI go!
Franklin Delenor Rosevelt: I think I might just do that, the polio is kicking in and hardcore robot sex isn't my thing anymore. Gamiac she is yours now.
Gamiac began to peck away at EDI, who he pretended was Celrath.
Biotic God: Fear me mortal! Our sexual intercourse will sweep the galaxy away and into my hands like a great wind!
Gamiac: That made no sence.
Biotic God: It makes more sence then Darth Jayder wearing drag.
Darth Jayder: It isn't drag. Why does everyone say that.
FDR: Now Adams, you have illuded me long enough. And it is time for you to die.
Darth Jayder: Feel the dark side! You turn me on! UGH!
He was about ready to decapitate Adams, when.....
Darth Jayder: ZOMGWTFBBQLOLROFLCOPTERLOLBRBFML!
Everyone looked out the nearest window! It was Shepard and she was attacking the Normandy!
Adams: Holly ****, is that Great Britian!?
Shepard, Zaeed, and Blinky (Legion) had sucessfully dug up the continent of Great Britian, built a atmospheric dome above the major cities and attached baloons as a method of transportation. But even worse for the Normandy was that Harbinger had arived too.
FDR: Why would anyone attack me? Im sexy!
But before Shepard or Harbinger could get a shot off, the Normandy went vroom, and escaped. Immediately Harbinger and Great Britian entered persuit of the SSV Normandy, the Normandy's destination was the Forbiden Planet!
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 31 juillet 2010 - 09:07 .
#146
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 09:07
marbatico
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- Members
- 2 323 messages
your doing it again...
Modifié par marbatico, 31 juillet 2010 - 09:08 .
#147
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 09:09
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
Guest_Captain Cornhole_*
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nah, part seventeen is just out of order.
#148
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 09:15
marbatico
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wait... where the hell did i even come form? i dont even get a smartass line?
#149
Guest_Isabelle Mortello_*
Posté 31 juillet 2010 - 09:17
Guest_Isabelle Mortello_*
Guest_Isabelle Mortello_*
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I just came out of nowhere offering lip balm. And didn't even get my sassy feel, but that's just how it is, bud.
