Part TwentyOne: Setting things up for the final chapter.
Celrath, Norskatt and Tali Zorah had made it past the daleks and to the entrance to the cave. There was a giant stone seal blocking their path.
GhostLightning: None shall pass!
Celrath: What?
Ghostlightning: None shall pass!
Norskatt: What are you doing here?
Ghostlightning: I am the gaurdian of the sacred crotch! Er.. Cave.
Norskatt: How do we get in?
Ghostlightning: YOU MUST ANSWER A RIDDLE!
*suspence music*
Norskatt: I'm good at riddles.
Ghostlightning: WHAT! IS! MY! Favorite Final Fantasy Character?!
Norskatt: What? Huh? I never played that horrible game!
Celrath: Hurry up, cause we have company.
The daleks began to surround them and shoot lasers, but being a badass Celrath used his Anti-Matter Nuke/Laser 8500 to hold them off. He must have killed 1,000 daleks by the time Norskatt took her first guess.
Ghostlightning: Incorrect! You get two more tries! Then you have to fight me!
Several miles away Harbinger touched down, a ramp folded down from it's hull. Husks, abominations and scions swarmed out and got ready to fight. It was a army, a army that Shepard (who apparently survived the crash) would lead. The commander's eyes turned yellow then...
Harbinger: Assuming Direct Control!
Norskatt: Umm, Han Solo?
Ghostlightning: That was your last try, I am afraid I must kill you now! Fear me, for because I'am a Hung-Chow Master in the Black Art of Double-duel Weild Swordery!
Ghostlightning pulled out a huge 10 foot sword and was ready to cut down Norskatt.
Norskatt: Celrath, help me!
Celrath: Can't hear you! Smiteing!
Celrath destroyed another 200 daleks, with the most overpowered weapon in the universe.
Tali Zorah looked on in ****-er as Norskatt was trapped against the stone seal, waiting for Ghostlightning to slice her into little tiny bits.
EDI: Gostlightning, stop right there!
Ghostlightning: Wah?
EDI: Your F******* with the wrong person ****!
Norskatt: Did that just come out of EDI's mouth?
EDI pulled out her sword and attack Ghostlightning! The refined metal clashed and sparks flew as the blades met. Norskatt did somemore sneaking around and opened the stone seal, she grabbed Tali Zorah and Vangaurd of Destruction's moblie stripper pole and set off for adventure.
Celrath found himself in the midst of a three way battle! Explosions and death happened all around him as Harbinger's forces, the daleks and now the Klu Klux Pimps engaged in heavy fighting. Then he realized, that Norskatt had taken Tali Zorah into the cave without him.
Celrath: ARGH! Thar ye maties, avast I have been betrayed! This is mutiney! Norskatt will be walkin the plank!
But a familiar villians stood in his way, it was everyone's three favorite Captains! Obvious, Kirk and Cornhole stood in a line with their hands on there hips!
Celrath: Ahoy mates! You bilge rats best be leaving these parts if you don't want to scrub the decks of my ship!
Capt. Obvious: Quit messing around, you obviously have her!
Celrah: You'd be accusin me under false pretenses!!
Capt. Kirk: Enough, League of EVIL attack!
Celrath: FIRE A'BROADSIDE!
His most overpowered weapon in existence murdered alot of Klu Klux Pimps, but the three Captains where
closed enough to start gangbanging him. Captain Cornhole held Celrath still as Capt. Obvious planted a good kick to his stomach.
Capt Kirk: Look out for those teeth!
Captain Cornhole: What teeth?
Celrath: Prepare to be boarded! Yarrr!
Celrath then bit into the wear-chickens neck, thus drawing blood!
Captain Cornhole: AH!
The Captain was temporarly out of the fight! Celrath pelvis thrusted Capt. Kirk and he flew back into Capt. Obvious. Capt. Obvious got up and used his laser vision to laser Celrath! Celrath ducked for cover.
Capt. Obvious: You obviously can't hide from me!
Celrath was hiding in the tall grass waiting for the perfect chance to strike.
Capt. Cornhole: He's over there!
Capt. Obvious immediatly directed his laser vision to the area pointed at by Cornhole. But Celrath sprang up out of the grass wielding his Anti-Matter Nuke/Laser 8500!
Capt. Obvious: Get down!
Celrath fired, everyone got down except Captain Cornhole, who was pecking at some popcorn on the ground, he immediatly exploded in a explosion of drumsticks and feathers!
Celrath reached down a bit into on of the drumsitcks.
Celrath: Yarg, tastes like chicken!
Then the rest of the League of EVIL arrived, Ryoko, GreedIsNoException, Admiral Ackbar, and Sloth of Doom. They was ready to tear Celrath limb from limb! Then there was a brilliant light that blinded everyone! It wasn't a bomb, but The Intergalatic Council of Really Kickass Good Guys!
Randumb Vangaurd, Swordfishtrombone, Kaiser Shepard, Godak, Onyx Jaguar, silver-sparrow, YokoFactor all was willing to fight the League of EVIL to the death!
Celrath: Argh! You'd landlubber all be getting scurvie!
And he bolted off to the cave to leave the League of EVIL and The Intergalatic Council of Really Kickass Good Guys to their intergalatic pissing match!
Kaiser Shepard: Capt. Obvious!
Capt. Obvious: Kaiser Shepard!
Kaiser Shepard: Ryoko!
Ryoko: Godak!
Godak: Capt. Kirk!
YokoFactor: Greg Laswell, if you where a pair of pants I would never take you off.
Greg Laswell: Get away from me you freak!
YokoFactor: Didn't you get my love letters? We where made for each other. I tried explaining that in all 419 letters I wrote to you.
Greg Laswell: That very kind of you. Well, I guess a little expirementing couldn't hurt.
YokoFactor: That's more like it. Get over here and pucker up!
Capt. Kirk: Can't that wait?
Greg Laswell: I'll be over by that rock when you have a spare moment. *wink* Don't worry I'll get the lotion.
Capt. Kirk: Where wear we? Ah yes.
Capt. Kirk: Randumb Vangaurd!
GreedIsNoException: silver-sparrow!
silver-sparrow: Sloth of Doom!
Sloth of Doom: Admiral Ackbar!
Randumb Vangaurd: Ryoko!
Admiral Ackbar: It's a trap!
Swordfishtrombone: Wait where is Captain Cornhole?
Captain Cornhole the rematerilized into a swarm of tiny angry roosters and chickens.
Captain Cornhole: ME!
Kaiser Shepard: This is the last time any of you will threaten the Universe with your evil!
silver-sparrow: EVIL!!!
GreedIsNoException: You will never be able to put down the sexiest group in the galaxy!
Sloth of Doom: That right, we have even been crowned Universal karoke champions, three years running!
Swordfishtrombone: Damn, how will we ever compete with that?
Randumb Vangaurd: Like this!
He ran over a poked Ryoko in the eyes she stumbed around carelessly eventually crashing into a tree.
Randumb Vangaurd: Wazah!
The pissing match had begun!
Admiral Ackbar: It's a trap!
Godak: I don't belive you!
GreedIsNoException used is super backstabbing skills to stab Godak in the back, he then ripped him apart with his teeth, deficated on his corpse and flung it around like a rag doll. Admiral Ackbar convinced Onyx Jaguar he was walking into a TRAP! So he didn't attack him. Sloth of Doom attempted to scratch out YokoFactor's eyes with his sloth claws. Capt. Kirks was having a shoot out with Swordfishtrombone, while Ryoko was trying to atyack Randumb Vangaurd. Kaiser Shepard who was also a Hung-Chow Master in the Black Art of Double-duel Weild Swordery, fenced off with Capt. Obvious. All while silver-sparrow was getting pecked to death by Captain Cornhole.
Celrath walked past Ghostlightning and EDI who where still fighting! He proceeded into the cave to hunt down Norskatt. The cave was dark, wet, cold and did I mention dark. For being a vampire Celrath was deathly afraid of the dark.
Back on the serface the battle was raging and Ghostlightning was missing a arm.
EDI: Do you give up now?
Ghostlightning: Com'on you yellow bastard!
Ghostlightning swung at EDI again, this time she missed, EDI responded by hacking off the other arm.
EDI: I think you are not equiped to win this match!
Ghostlightning: Com'on and fight me!
EDI: Your arms are missing!
Ghostlightning: THEY are NOT!
EDI: Yes they are!
Ghostlightning: Tis only a fleshwound!
Ghostlighting came up and kicked EDI to the ground, she responded by slicing off hes legs!
EDI: We shall call it a draw.
She goy up and followed Celrath into the cave.
Ghostlightning: Come back here and fight you pansy!
Elsewhere in the middle of the battle Shepard/Harbinger gunned down daleks and Klu Klux Pimps. Dead bodies where everywhere! The RAF flew over head and bombed the enemy to smitheroons, there was no clear winner yet.
Dalek: Exterminate the Commander!
Several daleks tried to flank Shepard's possition. She hid behind a dead pimp and returned fire. Before she new it she was surrounded, all seemed lost until! Fire breathed down from the heavens!
It was Seagloom riding her pet sparkly-pink pony/dragon/octopuss/reaper/cheetah, Mr. Sprinkles!
Daleks: Exterminate!
Dalek: She is wielding the Banhammer! Maximium extermination!
Seagloom: Consider yourselves perma-banned!
She banned the daleks and Shepard was happy. Except Harbinger didn't like Seagloom, it had been banned by her once using the Bioware social forums. It made a vow to find Tali's hips and use them to destroy Seagloom ones and for all!
Modifié par Captain Cornhole, 01 août 2010 - 07:42 .
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