Would result in some of the best walk-ins ever.
Shepard: Hey Garrus still Calibra-WTF?!
Garrus: You're dreaming!
Tali: -Facepalm-
Shepard: So that's what they look like with the buckets...
---
Shepard: -Walking around the engineering deck.- What's that noise?
Jack: -Whip crack-
Grunt: Be gentle with me!
Shepard: What? He's only a week old!
---
Shepard: I wonder if Miranda has filed any repor-ARGHHHH!!!!
Jacob: -Wearing the prize hat- Look at this, me and Miranda sneaking into the Captain's Quarters to film a sex tape, heavy risk...
Miranda: But the Priiiiiiiiiize!
Shepard: Is the worst porno ever or what?
---
Shepard: Wonder how Zaeed's doi-
Zaeed: This isn't what it Goddamn looks like.
Shepard: Zaeed? What are you doing with that rifle?
Zaeed: Don't say nuffin' 'bout my goddamn Jessie!
---
Shepard: Thane, don't lie to me, I heard Kasumi in here.
Thane: Shepard, Kasumi is not present, I promise.
Shepard: Okay -leaves.-
Kasumi:-uncloaks-
---
Mordin: Shepard! Was simply studying Asari Physiology!
Samara: He is correct!
Shepard: Yeeeaaaaaah...
---
Legion: Why are you here Shepard-Commander?
Shepard: I can't stand the rest of the ship. Everyone's having sex except me.
Legion: We have noticed the large increase in sexual activity between crewmates.
Shepard:...Say Legion, are you simply an observer unit?
Legion: We still may...interact.
-Cue sexy music-
On second thoughts, many squadmate romances should only be with Shepard. Otherwise the Normandy would have to be renamed the Love Boat.