Okay, I think I got the last of the guest prompts, I'll look through them later. But for now, I present:
"The Naked Landsmeet"
“Leliana, can I ask you something?” Alistair stood in the doorway of the armory where the lovely bard was sitting and inspecting her bow.
“Of course, Alistair. Come, have a seat.” She patted the empty space of the bench beside her. When he nervously perched next to her before getting to his feet to start pacing nervously, Leliana studied him with concern. “What is wrong? Is everything all right between you and Marlana?”
“Wha? Oh, everything is fine between us. It’s just…I’m nervous about the Landsmeet tomorrow. And I could use some advice.”
She patted a strand of hair behind one ear as she thought over his comment, “If you’re worried about the outcome, you shouldn’t be too concerned. Between all the talks you had before this, plus the prisoners that were freed from Howe.” A look of disgust crossed her pretty features, “Not to mention what those awful people were doing in the Alienage, you have enough leverage to have it go in your favor.”
“No, I’m not worried about that. Well, mostly. It’s well. I know if everything goes as planned, I’m probably going to have to make a speech. And…well, how do you talk in front of that many people?”
“Stage fright, Alistair?” Leliana asked, her brow wrinkling a little in thought.
She was laughing at him, he knew it. She just wasn’t laughing out loud. He shrugged helplessly, “Yeah.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t ask Lana.”
For a moment his anxiety fled to be replaced by annoyance, “I did. She just looked at me and said ‘I don’t think about it.’”
Leliana coughed slightly. Yep, she was laughing at him. There was a gleam in those pale eyes that promised trouble as her pursed her lips in thought. “Well, I might have a suggestion.”
“What is it?”
Too blandly she said, “Imagine everyone present is naked.”
The mental image that conjured was simply revolting. “Ugh, ew.”
“What?”
“I’m not sure which was worse. Naked Loghain or naked Eamon.”
“Alistair! You didn’t have to share that.” Apparently Leliana had as good of an imagination as he did judging by her expression. Served her right for giving him that image in the first place.
He smirked, “Yes, I did. After all, you’re the one who suggested it.” He sobered and sighed, “So do you have any real advice? Since you’re used to performing in front of audiences and all.”
“All right. First of all, you need to have confidence in yourself.”
Alistair muttered, “Easier said than done.”
She gave him a reproving look, “I believe in you, as do the rest of our friends. Even more importantly, Lana believes in you. What does she say when you say something like that?”
He rubbed his forehead, “It’s not what she says, it’s what she does.”
“Oh? Do I want to know?”
“She tries to kick my ass.”
Leli grinned, “Tries? What does she actually do?”
She laughed merrily as Alistair reddened without saying anything. “Well, besides being confident, remember to breathe. The lack of air will make you lightheaded and make your anxiety even worse.”
Alistair sat down on another bench as she continued to give the basics on performing in front of groups of people. The bard was a little surprised, but gratified, to see that he was actually taking notes, though the little she could see, his handwriting was deplorable.
“Thank you, Leliana. I mean it. I’m sure I’ll forget everything by tomorrow, but I really do appreciate your advice.”
She smiled, “You’re quite welcome, Alistair. And just remember, if all else fails, imagine them all naked. Even Loghain and Eamon.”
“You are an evil, wicked woman. You know that right?” He asked before beating a hasty retreat before she could conjure up any more awful ideas.