Here's my offering such as it is for "I am no Emperor Drakon". And yes, it probably is somewhat AU.
Alistair read and re-read the letter that had been waiting for him upon his return to Denerim. He was already angry that no one had thought to forward the letter that had been sent to him by Lana that was marked Urgent, when he saw the date that anger had turned into something closer to fury since it was buried in a pile of other unimportant correspondence. It’d been three weeks since she’d sent it and was probably wondering why he hadn’t responded yet. He knew she hadn’t come seeking him out due to the mess in Amaranthine, which was probably just as well for whoever was stupid enough to overlook the letter.
However as he read the letter again, one in a code they’d worked out privately before she left to take charge of the Wardens, he couldn’t describe just how furious he was feeling.
Alistair,
First of all, I’m fine, but there was a problem with Rylock, that oh so charming templar that disputed my Conscription of Anders. She set a trap for Anders thinking that she could take him back to the Tower for her twisted judgment without me being the wiser. Unfortunately for her, Anders wasn’t alone. I was there, as were Nathaniel and Oghren. Rylock and her fellow templars didn’t survive the encounter even though I did try to talk her down.
He still couldn’t believe she’d recruited Nathaniel Howe of all people. But then again she’d recruited Zevran and that had turned out far better than expected. And since Nathaniel was a childhood friend, he couldn’t blame her for giving him a second chance. He went back to reading.
Yes, love, it was a sincere attempt at diplomacy and not one of my infamous baiting incidents.
She seemed to believe that the Chantry is above Crown Law and didn’t care that she was committing treason when she threatened me. I was…unhappy about that fact. I hope you can forgive me for exercising what is your prerogative, but she threatened me not just as Warden Commander, but also Arlessa (which I still haven’t forgiven you for) and Queen.
Despite the seriousness, he had to grin at the comment about the title of Arlessa. He’d figured that giving the Arling to the Wardens would let them support themselves without having the entire country paying tithes. When Lana had agreed to the idea, she clearly hadn’t thought about the fact that since she was the one who had led them during the Blight and slew the archdemon that Weisshaupt would make her Warden Commander.
I have addressed the situation with Revered Mother Leanna and Ser Rylien, both of whom were not pleased with Rylock’s actions. And I was polite. Bbut if Her Grace the Grand Cleric hasn’t addressed this with you yet, she probably will shortly. I just wanted to give you a heads up if she hasn’t said anything.
All my love,
Lana
He rubbed his forehead as Teagan watched the king worriedly. Alistair explained the contents of the letter tersely and was gratified to see Teagan pale, then flush slightly. “This is inexcusable, Alistair. That templars believe they could attack Marlana and get away with it.”
Alistair snorted, “Inexcusable? Try suicidal. If it were the average hunting party of three or four Templars, Lana alone could have dealt with them. That she had Oghren with her? It would have been even quicker, if not messier. More than that… The only one they would’ve been able to hurt is Anders, since she didn’t mention any permanent harm done, the worst they probably did is drain him. If they even had a chance to do so.”
The other man sat back in his chair and thought hard about what Alistair had said. He thought over the abilities of the people involved and just what the king was capable of if there was a remote chance that he considered someone a threat to the woman who was more than just his wife. And Eamon’s warning about handling the young man carefully when it came to Lana since the older Guerrin had underestimated everything between the two Wardens. Or how Alistair would react to threats to Lana, since they all knew how she reacted to threats to him. Eamon had thought that Alistair’s easygoing nature meant he’d listen to the man who raised the young man, which went horribly wrong for Eamon.
So Teagan was understandably cautious when he asked, “What are you planning to do?”
Alistair gave him a friendly smile, “I’m just going to remind Her Grace that this isn’t Orlais and I’m not Drakon.”
Teagan had heard the term poleaxed before, but he’d never experienced it quite like this before. He rubbed his forehead to stave off the incipient headache, “Alistair, what does the long dead Emperor Drakon have to do with this?”
“The fact that while I may have been trained as a templar doesn’t mean I’m going to going to cater to the Chantry’s whims.”
That headache was really starting to grow, “Please tell me you aren’t actually going to say anything like that to the grand cleric.”
Alistair gave him one of those infuriatingly charming grins of his, “Of course not, I’m going to be polite. Charming even. But I am going to let her know that the particular attitudes Rylock displayed towards the Wardens and my Queen are very much not acceptable.”