I thought he stepped up either way during the Landsmeet. The only difference is hardened and persuading him to marry.. then his pragmatism shows when Anora tells him to chill out. Both Alistairs generally complain though.
Not that it matters, though. The war table missions and codexs in Inquisition show that king Alistair is softened by default.
Ten years later, Alistair still isn't interested in doing this job, like when he says that he is glad Teagan is in the Exalted Council and not him.
He also hasn't evolved in this role at all, like in that war table mission where he needs help smoothing things over with Orlais. Anora has an easier time at it because of her diplomacy skills while Alistair is completely lost.
The GW Order really is the better place for him.
I have only done one Alistair/Anora marry each other save and man, it was painful to watch .That's becuase I'm usually playing either a male or Female Cousland who either get married to Alistair or Anora. (; My Dalish Elf however....didn't romace Morrgian; so he killed himself and left Leliana griefing alongside side a Married Alistair/Anora couplet.
I've no idea why anyone would leave Alistair stuck with a woman that doesn't care about him.
Do you remember his reaction to the idea? "I think I'm gonna need a drink... or ten."





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