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Let's talk about Varric's chest hair! *with 2 Aimo comics and so much more!*


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#426
Calla S

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Dave of Canada wrote...

Alright, serious mode turn ON.

Personally, Varric being a romance option would have a lot of implications on the plot. How much is Varric telling to the Seeker true? Is he saying that Hawke fell in love with him to yank her chain? Is Hawke's cup size a few sizes bigger in his story telling?


Ever since I read about/saw Varric and learned that he was a narrator, I've thought it was a great idea for him to be a potential LI. I'd love to see how his telling changes between someone he's attached to romantically and those he's merely friends with.

And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^

#427
Dave of Canada

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Anarya wrote...

But that just makes it all the more interesting!


Indeed it would, it just puts Varric's questionable story telling to be a lot more questionable!

#428
Enshaid

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Calla S wrote...
And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^

 Monty Pytthon ftw

#429
Anarya

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namedforthemoon wrote...

Well, if he's narrating the story from his point of view, of course he's going to put his own twist on things.

That would be a great way to avoid love scenes of cheese...

(Overlaid on the beginning of the love scene, soft music in the background)

Varric: And then, I laid her down on the broken down Inn bed, and-

Cassandra: *GASP* *sputter* No! NO! I do NOT want to hear this!

Scene fades to black


Ahahahaha oh man I hope Varric messes with Cassandra SO MUCH. Be relentless, Varric!

jackkel dragon wrote...

More
seriously, I (as a male player) want Varric to be a love interest. Then
when I play female Hawke I can have Varric tell Cassandra stories about
his "adventures." The look on that Inquisitor's face will be
priceless.


Yes! 

#430
Dave of Canada

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Calla S wrote...

And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^


Would be even funnier if you dump him in one scene and then in the next time skip, Hawke is suddenly ugly and deformed until the Seeker tells Varric to stop messing with the story.

#431
mellifera

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Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^


Would be even funnier if you dump him in one scene and then in the next time skip, Hawke is suddenly ugly and deformed until the Seeker tells Varric to stop messing with the story.


*giggles* That would be amazing. I am a bit dubious about having an unreliable narrator, but this would be so funny.

#432
Enshaid

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Varric: ...needless to say that horse never raced again, and property values crashed and burned. hehehe



Cassandra: O_o

#433
Anarya

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Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^


Would be even funnier if you dump him in one scene and then in the next time skip, Hawke is suddenly ugly and deformed until the Seeker tells Varric to stop messing with the story.


Oh my god YES that would be hilarious!!! I don't usually dump LIs but I would do it just to see that.

#434
joriandrake

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yukidama wrote...

Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^


Would be even funnier if you dump him in one scene and then in the next time skip, Hawke is suddenly ugly and deformed until the Seeker tells Varric to stop messing with the story.


*giggles* That would be amazing. I am a bit dubious about having an unreliable narrator, but this would be so funny.


tbh Varric is unreliable since start

#435
Calla S

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Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^


Would be even funnier if you dump him in one scene and then in the next time skip, Hawke is suddenly ugly and deformed until the Seeker tells Varric to stop messing with the story.

"And then she lifted her deformed stump of a hand and declared--"
"I hardly think the Champion of Kirkwall has a deformed stump of a hand."
"Alright, maybe not, but the wart stays."
"*put upon sigh*"

#436
jackkel dragon

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The Varric love scenes should be the most elaborate in the game. I'm sure Varric is a voyeur,(spelling?) but he's obviously the kind of guy that screws with people's minds.



Just look at his concept art. He's sitting in a Chantry chair, being interrogated. Yet he's still smirking.



Guess who's now on my desktop background, smirking away.

#437
Anarya

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Calla S wrote...

Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^


Would be even funnier if you dump him in one scene and then in the next time skip, Hawke is suddenly ugly and deformed until the Seeker tells Varric to stop messing with the story.

"And then she lifted her deformed stump of a hand and declared--"
"I hardly think the Champion of Kirkwall has a deformed stump of a hand."
"Alright, maybe not, but the wart stays."
"*put upon sigh*"


I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

#438
Dave of Canada

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joriandrake wrote...

tbh Varric is unreliable since start


But being bitter about being dumped can also make the unreliable-ness even worse.

#439
Calla S

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Anarya wrote...
I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

She's going to leave that chamber with her nice, shiny black hair streaked with gray, I swear. :lol:

#440
Dave of Canada

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Calla S wrote...

Anarya wrote...
I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

She's going to leave that chamber with her nice, shiny black hair streaked with gray, I swear. :lol:


Really? I imagined fully greyed hair with thousands of wrinkles.

#441
Anarya

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Calla S wrote...

Anarya wrote...
I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

She's going to leave that chamber with her nice, shiny black hair streaked with gray, I swear. :lol:


She's going to need a long vacation somewhere quiet on the Rivaini coast.

#442
Enshaid

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Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

Anarya wrote...
I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

She's going to leave that chamber with her nice, shiny black hair streaked with gray, I swear. :lol:


Really? I imagined fully greyed hair with thousands of wrinkles.

Posted Image

#443
Calla S

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Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

Anarya wrote...
I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

She's going to leave that chamber with her nice, shiny black hair streaked with gray, I swear. :lol:


Really? I imagined fully greyed hair with thousands of wrinkles.

Posted Image

Sorry, Cass.

#444
Anarya

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I think I see that vein in her forehead pulsating right now. I don't think Cassandra approves of us, guys. Even though our skills are far below Varric's.

#445
9985

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Calla S wrote...

Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

And hey, if he claims my femHawke has huge tracks of land, more power to him. ^_^


Would be even funnier if you dump him in one scene and then in the next time skip, Hawke is suddenly ugly and deformed until the Seeker tells Varric to stop messing with the story.

"And then she lifted her deformed stump of a hand and declared--"
"I hardly think the Champion of Kirkwall has a deformed stump of a hand."
"Alright, maybe not, but the wart stays."
"*put upon sigh*"

I'm going to put aside my doubts on DA2 if this happens. Please make it so, BioWare.

#446
Enshaid

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Calla S wrote...

Dave of Canada wrote...

Calla S wrote...

Anarya wrote...
I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

She's going to leave that chamber with her nice, shiny black hair streaked with gray, I swear. :lol:


Really? I imagined fully greyed hair with thousands of wrinkles.

Posted Image

Sorry, Cass.


Dammit I have been one upped.

#447
Calla S

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Anarya wrote...

I think I see that vein in her forehead pulsating right now. I don't think Cassandra approves of us, guys. Even though our skills are far below Varric's.

I feel so bad for Cassandra. She looks like the type of character that I do truly love, but oh man. I get so much glee out of the idea that Varric is going to annoy the crap out of her. So much glee.

#448
Dave of Canada

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Anarya wrote...

Calla S wrote...

Anarya wrote...
I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

She's going to leave that chamber with her nice, shiny black hair streaked with gray, I swear. :lol:


She's going to need a long vacation somewhere quiet on the Rivaini coast.


*Cassandra lays down on the the beach, bathing in the sunlight*

Cassandra: Finally free from that despicable Dwarf. I don't even care about the civil war anymore, just me rela-

Zevran: Hello there, beautiful. Do you need assistance applying some oil to that beautiful back of yours?

Cassandra: No, thank you. I'm perfec-

Oghren: Hello there, pretty lady. I've seem to have lost my pants, can you help me find them?

*Cassandra begins to twitch*

#449
Dave of Canada

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Calla S wrote...

Posted Image

Sorry, Cass.


I cannot stop laughing. I can just see that face talking to Varric with Varric's smirk in the backround.

#450
Enshaid

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Dave of Canada wrote...

Anarya wrote...

Calla S wrote...

Anarya wrote...
I can just imagine her eyebrow twitching in that concept art.

She's going to leave that chamber with her nice, shiny black hair streaked with gray, I swear. :lol:


She's going to need a long vacation somewhere quiet on the Rivaini coast.


*Cassandra lays down on the the beach, bathing in the sunlight*

Cassandra: Finally free from that despicable Dwarf. I don't even care about the civil war anymore, just me rela-

Zevran: Hello there, beautiful. Do you need assistance applying some oil to that beautiful back of yours?

Cassandra: No, thank you. I'm perfec-

Oghren: Hello there, pretty lady. I've seem to have lost my pants, can you help me find them?

*Cassandra begins to twitch*




Sten: I don't understand. You look like a woman, but you have not applied your suntan lotion correctly. This should be rectified.