Anarya wrote...
Ack! Mary! Does Varric's ingame model have chest hair (currently?) THIS IS IMPORTANT.
Me: Hey, Varric, you've got to see this thread on the forums. It's pretty much entirely about your chest hair.
Varric: Kirby, what
exactly are you telling these people?
Me: I... uh... may have suggested, vaguely, that your chest hair is a force of nature capable of curing lepers and restoring sight to the blind.
Varric: Not bad, not bad... but you can do better than that. Tell them that I once defeated a High Dragon just by opening my shirt! Maybe insinuate that my chest is part of a secret cabal in Tevinter. Come on! Be a little more imaginative!
Me: *takes notes* What do you think of the fan art?
Varric: It's not bad, but they got my bad side.
Me: Wait, which one is your good side?
Varric: No, I'm just messing with you. Every side of me is awesome.
Me: They're really worried that your chest hair in-game won't live up to the hype.
Varric: You can't blame them for this, Kirby. These folks have been suffering under a chest hair shortage for years now. Decades, even. I mean, it's putting a lot of pressure on me to lead them out of the Desert of Hairlessness and into the promised land, but I'll live with that. I'm taking one for the team so that Hawke can go do that hero thing or whatever without carrying this heavy burden.
Me: That's a noble sacrifice.
Varric: Yeah. I'm just that kind of guy, what can I say?