Yes, coming to the party late as usual here
Has the new podcast been put up yet?John is totally the professor, lol.
Varric Tethras: Chest Hair & Dwarven Goodness 2.0 **Finest Dwarven Craft**
Débuté par
GameBoyish
, août 16 2010 11:29
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#6851
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 03:42
Leonia
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Wow, Futurama. It has been awhile, hasn't it? Always used to catch the same darn episode on Adult Swim..the death by snoo-snoo.
Yes, coming to the party late as usual here Has the new podcast been put up yet?
John is totally the professor, lol.
Yes, coming to the party late as usual here
Has the new podcast been put up yet?John is totally the professor, lol.
Retour en haut
#6852
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 03:45
upsettingshorts
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leonia42 wrote...
Has the new podcast been put up yet?
Delayed for about another 12 hours, give or take an hour.
#6853
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 03:47
Leonia
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Upsettingshorts wrote...
leonia42 wrote...
Has the new podcast been put up yet?
Delayed for about another 12 hours, give or take an hour.
Brock's been posting huh?
#6854
Guest_Temet Nosce_*
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 03:49
Guest_Temet Nosce_*
Guest_Temet Nosce_*
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If I haven't made it clear: That totally destroyed my soul. Today was mostly crap and I really wanted that damned podcast.
#6855
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 03:51
ErichHartmann
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Temet Nosce wrote...
If I haven't made it clear: That totally destroyed my soul. Today was mostly crap and I really wanted that damned podcast.
Meh, I already have DAII on pre-order so any podcast is just icing on the cake for me.
#6856
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 03:53
namedforthemoon
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Can I enlist someone to make a banner for me? Pretty please?
#6857
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 03:54
Leonia
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Already pre-ordered here. Hey it's November.. should be getting my Loghain figure soon. Yay. Totally off-topic.. they better do a run of DA 2 figures sometime. Bianca should get her own.
#6858
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 05:47
MaxDeltree
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- 33 messages
You know, if Nathaniel Howe was in Kirkwall for a while, I think I finally know who told him the warden was 10 feet tall and able to shoot lighting bolts from his eyes...
#6859
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 05:54
mellifera
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Lol, I think that's just Nathaniel's dry wit. But it may be Varric related, who knows!
#6860
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 07:24
Calla S
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What sort of banner are ya askin' for, darling?namedforthemoon wrote...
Can I enlist someone to make a banner for me? Pretty please?
#6861
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 08:49
TheChris92
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If he is Zapp, who is gonna be Kiff then?the_one_54321 wrote...
Varric's new battlecry:
Stop exploding you cowards!
#6862
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:03
Elrena
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- 483 messages
Okay, here is my written contribution to the Varric Worship. It's fairly long, just to warn you now 
Somewhere, in the far, far away
town of Kirkwall, an interrogation is taking place...but not all is
going as planned....
Cassandra fought to restrain her rage as her prisoner subjected her to yet another monologue that had nothing whatsoever to do with Hawke. It was imperative that the Champion be located as soon as possible, yet this verbose and diminutive demon of a dwarf would not cease prattling about his exploits. This time, he was informing her of a particularly sordid exploit of his, one that involved several women of various races, that he had apparently 'summoned' using some bizarre power that he refused to explain. Cassandra literally steamed, both from her rage and the force of the crimson glow that had covered her pale skin from her neck to her ears. Her hand, within the claw-like gauntlet that protected it, clenched into a tight and shaking fist as the sound of his voice pounded on her blistering ears.
On the throne like chair in which he had installed himself, Varric smirked. That chair had been meant for his captor, so that she might look down upon him while he grovelled in chains upon the cold stone floor.
Funny, how well plans like that tended to work out when it came to him.
He noted with a deep and sincere satisfaction, the blush that decorated the back of her neck and added a pink hue to her snowy hair as it spread up into the region of her scalp. He adored the effect he had on Chantry members. His lips continued to move, bombarding his inquisitor with innuendo, description and blatant obscenities as he detailed every last aspect of his night in the Hanged Man tavern. He had fond memories of that night, when Isabella had gotten sufficiently intoxicated that she was willing to share 'her' wenches with him...and what wenches they had been.
His lips twisted in something that may have been a tender smile, though if anyone watching had happened to blink, they would have missed it. That had all been before Hawke had become a major player in his life...
Apparently, he had continued to speak, though it was almost without conscious thought. Storytelling was in his blood-next to drinking wine and wenching, it was one of the favorite activities that he partook in-so the words just flowed from him in all their hedonistic glory. He knew this, because Cassandra had ceased to stare longingly at the cell door and fantasize of escape-or murder, either would do-but had instead whirled to face him, her face flushed a remarkable shade of red that looked positively painful and her dark eyes manic, wide and filled with an almost psychotic rage.
“Have you no shame, Tethras?!” She screamed at him, clutching her holy symbol as though it would somehow banish the demon before her. “Does nothing embarrass you, is any subject taboo? I have no need of your sexual
deviations, nor any other personal biography, in my search for the Champion!”
Varric stroked his lightly stubbled chin thoughtfully, his eyes unfocused and fogged with the mist of memory.
“Has anything ever embarrassed me, you ask?” He said slowly as the memory seized
him and dragged him into its depths...
Ten Years ago...
Varric smirked as the coins changed hands. It had been a profitable afternoon, enough that he was seriously considering buying that new trigger guard for Bianca as soon as his guest left. He took the slim, pale hand in his and bestowed a kiss upon it, looking up from beneath his lashes at the woman who owned the elegantly shaped appendage.
“It was a pleasure, doing business with a woman as beautiful as you.” He said smoothly, rising to his full height-which placed him at the perfect level to gaze into the bountiful depths of her decolletage; which had been emphasized to perfection by the soft collar of silver fur that adorned the robe she wore. He was earnest in his praise, since for once it was a genuine expression of admiration. She was a human woman of average height for her kind, a waspish waist that
looked toned and firm from what insight he could glean from her robes, and as previously mentioned, possessed of large...tracts of land. Her legs made up an almost indecent portion of her body and her face...was simply foxy. A slightly square jaw, plump-but not too plump-lips, a slightly upturned nose, ruffled black hair and excruciatingly high cheekbones were but the least arresting of her features. Her eyes, they were what captivated him-and he could honestly say that that was not normally the first thing he noticed on a woman, especially at his height. They were feline
in shape and a shade of blue that challenged the sky and found it wanting in comparison. But by far, the most astonishing thing was the personality that shone through them, that announced that here was a woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. A woman unafraid to make her opinions known, forceful, demanding and blazing with unrestrained sensuality.
Hawke smiled back at the larcenous dwarf that had sought to fleece her of all her hard-won gold, something wicked sparking in her eyes. They swept up and down his physique, kindling with interest and admiration as she took in the intriguing triangle of chest hair shown to perfection by his shirt, the chiseled jaw that was perhaps a tad too wide for the
taste of most; but struck a lustful chord with her, the thick blond hair and strong features that smouldered back at her. Her voice, when she smoke, was pleasantly throaty and hoarse and her lips were twisted in a playful smirk that caused Varric to recognise her as something of a kindred spirit.
“Thank you. You know, you aren't so bad, yourself.”
Hawke picked up her, much lighter, coin purse, then left.
Varric stared after her for a moment, before feeling an unexpected heat in his chest. He looked down, then saw, to his absolute horror, the pink tinge that was showing through the conditioned rug of hair. He concentrated for a moment, and the downy threads shifted, meshing together and obscuring the damning glow...
Present day...
Varric shook his head, then smirked at the enraged woman who awaited his answer.
“No, never.” He told Cassandra, who roared in frustration and ran from the room, slamming the cell door shut behind her with force sufficient to break a lesser door from his hinges. He sighed, then looked down and saw the familiar red stain upon his chest.
An odd smile played upon his lips as he drained the rest of his goblet and awaited the
next session.
What do you all think?
Edited for structure, silly forum settings.
Somewhere, in the far, far away
town of Kirkwall, an interrogation is taking place...but not all is
going as planned....
Cassandra fought to restrain her rage as her prisoner subjected her to yet another monologue that had nothing whatsoever to do with Hawke. It was imperative that the Champion be located as soon as possible, yet this verbose and diminutive demon of a dwarf would not cease prattling about his exploits. This time, he was informing her of a particularly sordid exploit of his, one that involved several women of various races, that he had apparently 'summoned' using some bizarre power that he refused to explain. Cassandra literally steamed, both from her rage and the force of the crimson glow that had covered her pale skin from her neck to her ears. Her hand, within the claw-like gauntlet that protected it, clenched into a tight and shaking fist as the sound of his voice pounded on her blistering ears.
On the throne like chair in which he had installed himself, Varric smirked. That chair had been meant for his captor, so that she might look down upon him while he grovelled in chains upon the cold stone floor.
Funny, how well plans like that tended to work out when it came to him.
He noted with a deep and sincere satisfaction, the blush that decorated the back of her neck and added a pink hue to her snowy hair as it spread up into the region of her scalp. He adored the effect he had on Chantry members. His lips continued to move, bombarding his inquisitor with innuendo, description and blatant obscenities as he detailed every last aspect of his night in the Hanged Man tavern. He had fond memories of that night, when Isabella had gotten sufficiently intoxicated that she was willing to share 'her' wenches with him...and what wenches they had been.
His lips twisted in something that may have been a tender smile, though if anyone watching had happened to blink, they would have missed it. That had all been before Hawke had become a major player in his life...
Apparently, he had continued to speak, though it was almost without conscious thought. Storytelling was in his blood-next to drinking wine and wenching, it was one of the favorite activities that he partook in-so the words just flowed from him in all their hedonistic glory. He knew this, because Cassandra had ceased to stare longingly at the cell door and fantasize of escape-or murder, either would do-but had instead whirled to face him, her face flushed a remarkable shade of red that looked positively painful and her dark eyes manic, wide and filled with an almost psychotic rage.
“Have you no shame, Tethras?!” She screamed at him, clutching her holy symbol as though it would somehow banish the demon before her. “Does nothing embarrass you, is any subject taboo? I have no need of your sexual
deviations, nor any other personal biography, in my search for the Champion!”
Varric stroked his lightly stubbled chin thoughtfully, his eyes unfocused and fogged with the mist of memory.
“Has anything ever embarrassed me, you ask?” He said slowly as the memory seized
him and dragged him into its depths...
Ten Years ago...
Varric smirked as the coins changed hands. It had been a profitable afternoon, enough that he was seriously considering buying that new trigger guard for Bianca as soon as his guest left. He took the slim, pale hand in his and bestowed a kiss upon it, looking up from beneath his lashes at the woman who owned the elegantly shaped appendage.
“It was a pleasure, doing business with a woman as beautiful as you.” He said smoothly, rising to his full height-which placed him at the perfect level to gaze into the bountiful depths of her decolletage; which had been emphasized to perfection by the soft collar of silver fur that adorned the robe she wore. He was earnest in his praise, since for once it was a genuine expression of admiration. She was a human woman of average height for her kind, a waspish waist that
looked toned and firm from what insight he could glean from her robes, and as previously mentioned, possessed of large...tracts of land. Her legs made up an almost indecent portion of her body and her face...was simply foxy. A slightly square jaw, plump-but not too plump-lips, a slightly upturned nose, ruffled black hair and excruciatingly high cheekbones were but the least arresting of her features. Her eyes, they were what captivated him-and he could honestly say that that was not normally the first thing he noticed on a woman, especially at his height. They were feline
in shape and a shade of blue that challenged the sky and found it wanting in comparison. But by far, the most astonishing thing was the personality that shone through them, that announced that here was a woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. A woman unafraid to make her opinions known, forceful, demanding and blazing with unrestrained sensuality.
Hawke smiled back at the larcenous dwarf that had sought to fleece her of all her hard-won gold, something wicked sparking in her eyes. They swept up and down his physique, kindling with interest and admiration as she took in the intriguing triangle of chest hair shown to perfection by his shirt, the chiseled jaw that was perhaps a tad too wide for the
taste of most; but struck a lustful chord with her, the thick blond hair and strong features that smouldered back at her. Her voice, when she smoke, was pleasantly throaty and hoarse and her lips were twisted in a playful smirk that caused Varric to recognise her as something of a kindred spirit.
“Thank you. You know, you aren't so bad, yourself.”
Hawke picked up her, much lighter, coin purse, then left.
Varric stared after her for a moment, before feeling an unexpected heat in his chest. He looked down, then saw, to his absolute horror, the pink tinge that was showing through the conditioned rug of hair. He concentrated for a moment, and the downy threads shifted, meshing together and obscuring the damning glow...
Present day...
Varric shook his head, then smirked at the enraged woman who awaited his answer.
“No, never.” He told Cassandra, who roared in frustration and ran from the room, slamming the cell door shut behind her with force sufficient to break a lesser door from his hinges. He sighed, then looked down and saw the familiar red stain upon his chest.
An odd smile played upon his lips as he drained the rest of his goblet and awaited the
next session.
What do you all think?
Edited for structure, silly forum settings.
Modifié par Elrena, 05 novembre 2010 - 09:11 .
#6863
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 11:55
Ser Fish
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Elrena wrote...
He concentrated for a moment, and the downy threads shifted, meshing together and obscuring the damning glow..
Elrena. You win everything. Forever.
#6864
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 12:13
Elrena
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Ser Fish wrote...
Elrena wrote...
He concentrated for a moment, and the downy threads shifted, meshing together and obscuring the damning glow..
I'm glad you liked it! I loved that line:wub: with a damningly glowy passion <3
#6865
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 01:28
Neesee
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- 307 messages
*Looks at thread name*
I just giggled for a few minutes there. Then I changed it to "Nobody puts Bianca in a corner" and giggled some more.
Oh Varric thread
I just giggled for a few minutes there. Then I changed it to "Nobody puts Bianca in a corner" and giggled some more.
Oh Varric thread
#6866
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 06:52
Thandal N'Lyman
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- 2 419 messages
^^^ This was purrrrfikt. ^^^Elrena wrote...
...“Has anything ever embarrassed me, you ask?” He said slowly as the memory seized
him and dragged him into its depths..."
Totally saw the dissolve-to-flashback with that, and you evoke such exact moods (of all the characters) in all three scenes.
Thank you, Elrena!
Modifié par Thandal NLyman, 05 novembre 2010 - 06:54 .
#6867
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:42
namedforthemoon
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Elrena... That was AMAZING!! I especially love the part where Varric is remembering his encounter with Lady Hawke.
Would it be too much to ask for moar? I long to hear how Varric becomes one of Hawke's companions.
Really, really REALLY awesome!
Would it be too much to ask for moar? I long to hear how Varric becomes one of Hawke's companions.
Really, really REALLY awesome!
#6868
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:44
Dave of Canada
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So, Varric has his jacket forever! Nobody can take it away!
#6869
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:45
Anarya
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I'm both amused and unsettled by the mental image of partially sentient chest hairs. Conflicted!
#6870
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:47
mellifera
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Dave of Canada wrote...
So, Varric has his jacket forever! Nobody can take it away!
I demand we are allowed to remove it.
Not to switch it for other armor though.
#6871
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:48
Anarya
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Aw this system means we can't make our followers fight things in underwear, doesn't it?
#6872
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:48
lv12medic
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yukidama wrote...
Dave of Canada wrote...
So, Varric has his jacket forever! Nobody can take it away!
I demand we are allowed to remove it.
Not to switch it for other armor though.
Maybe he'll have a summer version of his outfit with jacket removed/left open?
![=]](https://lvlt.forum.bioware.com/public/style_emoticons/default/sideways.png)
#6873
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:49
namedforthemoon
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yukidama wrote...
Dave of Canada wrote...
So, Varric has his jacket forever! Nobody can take it away!
I demand we are allowed to remove it.
Not to switch it for other armor though.
Makes you wonder what the love scenes will be like, if you can't remove the clothes... Hm. I guess we only get to peek at our own underwear.
Did the love scenes get Mass Effected? Oh noes!
#6874
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:52
mellifera
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I dunno, considering Origins' sex scenes, they have nowhere to go but up.
#6875
Posté 05 novembre 2010 - 09:54
Dave of Canada
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A Jacob scene with Varric.
