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Varric at Christmas, or its Thedas equivilant, would be awesome to behold.
His chest hair practically quivering with delight, Varric seized the large parcel offered by his Lady Hawke, who smiled indulgently at the childlike glee that lit his face. The box was rattled, then with little ceremony, rent asunder. Decorative paper shot everywhere, with one scrap determinedly flying with a will of its own to land firmly in the cleft of Hawke's bosum, where she looked down at it with bemused eyes.
"Oh, by the Stone..." Varric whispered, manly tears bringing a shine to his brown eyes, which were staring at the revealed present with the reverence one might hold for a religious artefact. "Pirate Repellant! That'll keep Isa's grabby little hands off my wenches!" He seized Hawke, pulled her down to his level and proceeded to reduce her to a pile of warm goo upon the floor as he kissed her. "First things first..." He picked up the holy aerosol, shook it, then sprayed Hawke liberally with the coconut scented fluid. Then, noticing the scrap of wrapping paper in her bosum, he absently reached down and retrieved it. "I'm afraid I was unsure what to buy you, so instead," he clenched his fist around the paper. "This gift-wrap is now Diamonds!" He kissed the astonished mage again, then smirked as he noticed the avaricious gleam in her eyes as she stared at the fistful of diamons in his hand. "Happy holidays, my Lady Hawke."
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