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[GodWood]

namedforthemoon wrote...
I don't think I'm going to import any of my saved games for the first playthrough of DA2. I'm curious to see what choices the Dev team picked to be their default

fixed

[Pseudo the Mustachioed]

Unflatteringly Selective Memory Varric is now my favorite Varric.
Varric: I can't remember what she ate that day but, by my Ancestors was I smelling it hours later.
Cassandra: Is this necessary? Do I need to be told of the Champion's... flatulence?
Varric: I almost died that week. Ten different times was I a single sword strike from death. And that smell stands out more in my memory.
Cassanda: I... will keep this in mind if I meet her.

*rereads post*
Yep. I made myself giggle.

Modifié par Pseudocognition, 05 décembre 2010 - 05:37 .

[jackkel dragon]

If we actually get to meet Cassandra, everything is going to be tinted by how Varric described us.

Cassandra: By the way, what does Hawke look like?
Varric: He's the ugliest son of a ***** I've ever met.
*Much later, Hawke walks in. He's the hottest guy in Thedas.*
Cassandra: *mind=blown*

Alternate!

Cassandra: By the way, what does Hawke look like?
Varric: She's a total wimp, I'm surprised she can even lift her sword with those toothpick-thin arms of hers.
*Much later, Hawke walks in. She's more buff than Aveline on steroids.*
Cassandra: *mind=blown*

PS: I'm now wishing that rival Varric will exagerrate in a negative way, at least in dialogue sections (not with uber-hard scenes where you're force to die to continue.) Then, I'd like to see Cassandra switch from dismissive to surprised to shameless fangirling.

[namedforthemoon]

After the story, I can see Varric sitting with Hawke and company, laughing their rears off.

Hawke: That's just great, Varric. And then what did you tell that Cassandra about me?
Varric: I told her you and Isabella sailed off for Par Vollen. So now she's sent a party of men to look for you. Boy will she be surprised when she finds out you're right under her nose at home! All those wasted resources...*chuckles*
Hawke: *laughing* I can't believe she actually fell for that!
Varric: *smirking* Well, I AM a master story teller, you know-
*knocking at the door*
Hawke: Carver, get the door, would you?
*Carver opens the door. Cassandra is standing in the doorway, soaking wet, with a super pissed-off look on her face*
Varric: Oh, shi-
Cassandra: YOU MISERABLE SLIMY LITTLE TURD!

Modifié par namedforthemoon, 05 décembre 2010 - 07:43 .

[jackkel dragon]

namedforthemoon wrote...

After the story, I can see Varric sitting with Hawke and company, laughing their rears off.

Hawke: That's just great, Varric. And then what did you tell that Cassandra about me?
Varric: I told her you and Isabella sailed off for Par Vollen. So now she's sent a party of men to look for you. Boy will she be surprised when she finds out you're right under her nose at home! All those wasted resources...*chuckles*
Hawke: *laughing* I can't believe she actually fell for that!
Varric: *smirking* Well, I AM a master story teller, you know-
*knocking at the door*
Hawke: Carver, get the door, would you?
*Carver opens the door. Cassandra is standing in the doorway, soaking wet, with a super pissed-off look on her face*
Varric: Oh, shi-
Cassandra: YOU MISERABLE SLIMY LITTLE TURD!

Way better than mine. It doesn't have the possibility for fangirling, but Varric + Carver = world-ending awesomeness.

[Risax]

And... Now I'm wondering even more how friendship & rivalary will affect Varric's story telling...

[Risax]

Don't die Varric thread!

Alright let me post a question.
Why did Varric, or Varric's family, start a spynetwork?
I mean the Tethras's left Orzammar (I can't remember if it was willingly or not) for a reason.
Maybe because another family of Nobles took their lands (Dwarven Nobles have land, right?), or maybe because the other Nobles where a threat.

But why start a spynetwork in Kirkwall?
Is the merchant buisness really that dangerous there?
Or are there people after the Tethras family for another reason?

Questions, questions always questions. They say it was questions that made me mad.

[ErichHartmann]

Are you trying to spoil the game for yourself?

[Risax]

No.

Maybe.

Ok a little.

[Pseudo the Mustachioed]

I think Dwarves are genetically predisposed towards intrigue, politics and backstabbery.

[Risax]

Pseudocognition wrote...

I think Dwarves are genetically predisposed towards intrigue, politics and backstabbery.

Yes, it must be in their blood or something.
But still, I thought most Surface Dwarfs would live rather peacefully.

[nightcobra]

Risax wrote...

Pseudocognition wrote...

I think Dwarves are genetically predisposed towards intrigue, politics and backstabbery.

Yes, it must be in their blood or something.
But still, I thought most Surface Dwarfs would live rather peacefully.

more like they want to be as far from their sodding traditions as they can.

[jackkel dragon]

Risax wrote...

And... Now I'm wondering even more how friendship & rivalary will affect Varric's story telling...

You indirectly caused dirty thoughts in me.

Varric: And then she ****** my ****, which blew my mind.
Cassandra: Wait, I thought we're talking about her conquest of the qunari invasion?
Varric: Yeah, we are. You heard of "role-playing?"

[jackkel dragon]

nightcobra8928 wrote...

more like they want to be as far from their sodding traditions as they can.

Now Varric absolutely MUST say, at some point in DA2:

"How hard did they sodding hit you?"

[a12boom]

I actually like this new rival thing. I think sten in DA:O would be considered a rival

[aimo_ahmed]

jackkel dragon wrote...

Risax wrote...

And... Now I'm wondering even more how friendship & rivalary will affect Varric's story telling...

You indirectly caused dirty thoughts in me.

Varric: And then she ****** my ****, which blew my mind.
Cassandra: Wait, I thought we're talking about her conquest of the qunari invasion?
Varric: Yeah, we are. You heard of "role-playing?"

*cue sprayed beverage*

'Role-playing'...too much ^o^;;

[Risax]

If there is a chance we go into the Deep Roads in DA 2, I hope we find Tethras Thaig.

[namedforthemoon]

Varric: And then I went down into her deep roads, if you know what I mean...



Cassandra: Vomit.

[Risax]

@namedforthemoon.
You took an enviorment from Dragon Age and made it into a sexpun.
I congratulate you.

Modifié par Risax, 05 décembre 2010 - 09:20 .

[namedforthemoon]

Risax wrote...

@namedforthemoon.
You took an enviorment from Dragon Age and made it into a sexpun.
I congratulate you.

Thanks. But honestly you can take almost anything and make it into a sexpun.

[Risax]

If every Noble House descends from a Paragon, then I wonder how the Paragon Tethras became a Paragon.
Perhaps he was the first Dwarf that figured out the powers of Dwarven Chesthair?

Modifié par Risax, 05 décembre 2010 - 09:59 .

[tmp7704]

namedforthemoon wrote...

Cassandra: YOU MISERABLE SLIMY LITTLE TURD!

If Cassandra never gets to deliver this line i'll be so disappoint.

Srsly, it's pure

[tmp7704]

namedforthemoon wrote...

Risax wrote...

@namedforthemoon.
You took an enviorment from Dragon Age and made it into a sexpun.
I congratulate you.

Thanks. But honestly you can take almost anything and make it into a sexpun.

You can even hear this particular pun in DAO if you visit the Pearl

dwarf prostitute, if the player is female: Ooh, you've been to the Deep Roads before.

[jackkel dragon]

Every legend about Hawke is actually Varric making sex jokes, and Cassandra is really looking for someone else who became champion... someone Hawke was imitating with Varric. In bed.



Biggest twist since Revan and Li. Combined.

[Margaret_TheElf]

I had the most horrible dream last night!
     I was playing DA2, and it was a giant cartoon, Varric was some kind of squirrel and drank sugar-free grape juice, and femHawke had the worst hairstyle choices ever!