Apollo Starflare wrote...

The vampire Bill Compton heard Sookie cry for help a mile away. Within seconds, he was at her doorstep. He ran inside, only to find Sookie in the arms of... a burly dwarf.
"But I thought - Sookie, what is this?" Bill asked, confused.
Sookie looked at the dwarf awkwardly, then back at Bill. Bill himself looked to the smug dwarf, then to his beloved, then back to the dwarf... who was now cradling an iron goblet of grape wine? Where did that come from?
"Bill, I'm sorry, but I was in the throngs of passion with... I said your name by accident" Sookie sheepishly answered. Bill was shocked - not only had he walked in on his replacement with his girlfriend, but she was unrepentant about it.
"Sookie, we've been together so long, how can you be so careless about breaking my heart?"
"Well, you see, Bill: Varric knocked it all out of me. All my memories of you, how much I was in love with you. Poof. Totally gone."
"But Sookie, surely you don't mean that."
"No, seriously, until I said your name by accident, I had forgotten that you EXISTED."
Bill once again looked at the small dwarf, this... Varric. He was about to speak, when he caught glimpse of Varric's glowing chesthair. It was as if a barren hill had sprouted dewy lilacs. They called to him so...
That is how, after 275 years of existence, the vampire Bill Compton experienced his first threeway.