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ACTD (AU FF): Updated: 24OCT | ACTS (AU FF) Updated: 14OCT


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#1
FutileSine

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Update: October 4, 2010
I've decided to make a companion collection called "Always Comes the Spring" that will be highlighting Devona CousCous's experiences in the ACTD world. Her story isn't pleasant...it is rated M and not for fluff (at least not yet...)

Always Comes the Spring

Chapter 1: Convergence
Chapter 2: Filly
Chapter 3: Sight



Always Comes the Dawn

ACTD is the version of Dragon Age: Origins that I would have loved to see my mage (Artalise) go through. I absolutely looooove the story BW created, don't get me wrong....but of course I would have liked to have seen some different outcomes- especially for the mage, and I am able to explore how those options worked out in this fanfic; I'll admit that the first few chapters follow the timeline and really the story of the original DA: O pretty closely, but I *promise* that that'll change in my future chapters. I also plan on having at least cameos by each of the possible origin characters. We'll see how that works. In terms of ratings, I rated it as a T - definitely PG-13 material. Some strong language, violence, and references to "the act" but I don't go into nitty gritty detail. Sorry! ;)

I do include a prologue that I encourage readers to go through as I do make references to well-loved characters in it. I was planning on posting most of the prologue here...but then I actually went through and added all the BBC code to make sure it looked good for the first part of the prologue and realized that would take up waaaay too much time! So, unless someone protests, I'll just add links...

ACTD Chapter Summary Page
Prologue: Part 1
Prologue: Part 2
Prologue: Part 3
Chapter 1:  Quality Time with Duncan
Chapter 2: Old Friends and New
Chapter 3: Tension, Trust, and Treaties
Chapter 4: Ritual and Return
Chapter 5: On Shapeshifting
Chapter 6: Return to Ostager
Chapter 7: Trail to Lothering
Chapter 8: Village of Lothering
Chapter 9: Desperate Times
Chapter 10: Call For
Chapter 11: Desperate Measures
Chapter 12: Darkest Desires
Chapter 13: Blood and Flowers
Chapter 14: An Army of Asses
Chapter 15: Broken Circle, Broken Heart
Chapter 16: Realization
Chapter 17: Priorities
Chapter 18: Darkspawn and Decisions
Chapter 19: Failed Deceptions
Chapter 20: Duty and Loyalty
Chapter 21: Damsels in Distress
Chapter 22: Gaining Trust
Chapter 22A: Two Mistakes
Chapter 23: The Rescue
Chapter 24: A Dream Destroyed

Like anyone who writes Fanfic, I would looooove comments, especially on my interpretations of magic in the DA universe that I make, and will make throughout my story. I figure that posting on this forum will make it easier for people to make critiques...so here it is! Also, I know I probably missed some typos...but I've read each part multiple times so hopefully there aren't any too glaring of mistakes.


Lastly, as an aside, I hijacked my husbands BW account to be able to post here. I think there are a couple of people here in that situation..... :)


Image IPB

Added on August 16. I am absolutely atrocious with faces, but I think the frame came out pretty cool! This isn't relevant at all to how Artalise is right now....but it will be in a few more chapters. :)

Modifié par FutileSine, 24 octobre 2010 - 08:45 .


#2
jackkel dragon

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Welcome! I'll check your work out. I'm a bit comment-starved, so I know how you might feel about lack of comments.

#3
FutileSine

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Prologue: Part 1

~~~5 years old~~~

"Mama!" , the little elf girl grasped out to her mother, who was now surrounded by four humans, their weapons drawn, and by their slight staggering, drunk as well. She couldn't hear what they said to her, but she saw the sneers on their faces and the fear in her mother's eyes.

"Shush. Quiet Artalise," whispered her father, stretching his hand out to block the girl's attempt to run to her mother.

"Father? Why aren't we helping Mother?" question Darrian, his eyes looking up at his father questioningly. The older brother put a hand on his sister's struggling shoulder, trying to reassure her as well, but he was no less confused as to why they just stood there when their mother plainly needed help. Cyrion sighed. How to explain to his children that his presence would only make violence come faster?

"Your mother is the quickest talker I've ever seen. She'll talk her way out of this, wait and see." He smiled down at his children, but he wasn't able to disguise the worry in his face. The scene was starting to draw the attention of other elves in the area. Hopefully it would reach a resolution soon, before the guards come and undoubtedly arrested his wife for causing a commotion, or whatever lie the men now surrounding her came up with. Presumably the only reason humans ever came into the Alienage was to cause trouble.

One of the men, the obvious leader, smiled lewdly, and wrapped his hand around Artalise's mother body and leaned in to say something to her. Whatever it was caused the instant response of the woman slapping the man across the mouth hard, her eyes ablaze with indignation.

The moment the human put his hand on his wife, Cyrion had started to run towards the group, causing his daughter to fall to the ground, unbalanced by her father's sudden movement.

Her wide eyes looked up and saw only the dagger plunge into her mother's stomach and the deep red blood blossoming across her dress, as the man spewed insults at her. " No! MAMA!" Her eyes looked at the man now staggering away from her mother's collapsing body. That man had hurt her mama!

She howled, the sound filled with despair and anger. Mama! Darrian had left her side and was rushing to join his father beside his mother who struggled to cling to life. Artalise watched the humans turn and run, fleeing back to the safety of the human world, unpursued and once they left they would never have to answer for their crimes. NO!

She didn't know where it came from, but suddenly the few elves scattered around her gasped and pulled away from her, as flames appeared and started to lick at her hands. Hello. My name is Artalise Tabris. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.

Suddenly, her back arched and she screeched out in pain, before collapsing to the ground. This would have normally received the attention of most in the square, but today the gasps were directed at the humans who were screaming in pain as they were burned alive by an inferno of flames. So great were the flames that they started licking the wood roofs of a nearby building, and soon were devouring it. All attention was for the moment taken away from the unconscious girl as the elves in the Alienage sought to douse the flames before they spread further.

"Darrian, grab your sister. Let's get her back to the house, " Cyrion said softly to his son, as he himself gently lifted the now lifeless body of his beloved and carried her to back to their house, to prepare for her Final Rites.

Darrian was hesitant at first to touch his younger sibling, the image of flames dancing around her hands still emblazed in his memory. But she had killed them. She had killed the bastards that had killed their mother. While he feared a little her now, he also felt a flicker of pride.

"Come along now, Arty. Time to go home now" At first he tried to pick her up, but he realized that he wasn't strong enough to carry her that way. He leaned down and lightly patted the side of her face. "Arty? Are you awake? Can you hear me?"

Her eyes remained closed but she moved ever so slightly and coughed. He took that for a yes, "Arty, I need you to wrap your hands around my neck. Come on, Arty. We need to get home." He knelt down to make it easier for her. She merely whimpered. Darrian pursed his lips, before grabbing one of her arms and draping it around his neck. "Just hold on, OK? Arty, OK?" He inquired, wanting a response. The only sound that came out of her mouth was another whimper, but he felt her arm stiffen a little, as if she was trying to hold on. It would have to do.

He stood up tentatively, doing his best to both maintain his balance and ensure his sister stayed on his back. He leaned forward as far as he could to make it easier to her to stay on his back before walking briskly back to the shanty they called home.

I love you, Arty.


~~~V~V~V~~~

The sky was dark by the time she opened her eyes again. She groaned and rubbed her eyes. Down below she heard her father and a voice she didn't recognize arguing. Suddenly she grimaced as she became aware of an unpleasant taste in her mouth. What had her father given her? She looked over to the other side of her ratty mattress and saw a small vial. Grabbing it, she held it to the window, marveling at the delicate blue color of its contents in the moonlight. She'd never seen a blue liquid before and tasted a drop of it. Its tastes nasty! She set the vial down and moved to the door, anxious to hear what was being said below. Much to her surprise, the door opened slowly and she saw Darrian look inside, his eyes widening when he saw she was awake and staring right at him.

He held his finger up to his mouth, willing her to be quiet as he quietly opened the door further and slipped into the room.

"They've come to take you away Arty" He whispered to her urgently.

She was shocked by this statement. The guards have come? She didn't want to go to prison! "Who?" She whispered back, tears of worry starting to well in her eyes.

"I think he said he was a Templar."

"A Temp-what?"

"Templar, Arty. They are from the Chantry. They…they guard mages."

She crinkled her nose, not understanding, "So why is he here? Is it about mama?"

He sighed, "In a way, Arty." He paused before continuing, "Don't you remember what happened in the square?"

Her brow wrinkled as she thought back. The men around mama, the dagger, then the blood and then…nothing.

"Mama died."

"Yes, but after mother died. What happened to the humans, Arty?" He pressed on, looking at her intently.

She shook her head, sad that she was disappointing her brother.

Darrian sighed again, and looked down at the floor as if thinking about what to say next, before looking back up at her, "You used magic, Arty. You're a mage."

Artalise blinked, and stared at her brother, not fully understanding what he was talking about. Magic? Mage?

It looked like Darrian was going to continue, but he was interrupted by their father's voice, "Darrian? Is your sister awake yet?" Darrian's eyes widened in surprise and he scampered out the door, "Ye-yes Father! She just woke up"

"Can she walk?"

Darrian looked at Artalise, wanting her to answer the question for him. She nodded numbly. "Yes Father!"

"Good. Can you bring her down here, lad?"

"Yes, Father."

Darrian moved to his sister and wrapped his arm around her, not to help her walk, necessarily, but to give her some comfort. Besides, he gulped, who knows when he would see her again, if ever?

Artalise slowly climbed down the ladder, and turned around to face her father and the stranger, but her eyes were instantly drawn to the largest and shiniest man she had ever seen. She gasped and instantly fled to her father, hiding behind his legs while watching the shiny man with wide eyes.

The man looked right back at her, his own eyes stern and cold, "This is the girl, then?"

Her father nodded, before patting Artalise on the back, and smiled at her, but his eyes were full of remorse, "Artalise, this is Ser Greagoir. Say hello. "

Artalise bowed her head a little bit, "Good evening… s-ser", but she still kept her hands clamped on her father's leg. The shiny man scared her.

The men exchanged a look, and her father nodded in silent understanding before kneeling down beside her and placing his hands on her shoulders and looked straight into her eyes, "Artalise, this man is going to take you away to a much better place than this Alienage. You know that slice of cake you get on your birthday?" She nodded, tears starting to well up in her eyes again. With a gentle hand, he brushed the tears aside, "Now now…no need to cry, child. Where you are going, you'll be able to have cakes and cookies everyday and sleep in a proper bed, and read books to your heart's content. Haven't you always said how much you wanted to learn to read? They have hundreds of book in this place, all for you. Wouldn't you like to go there?"

Artalise whimpered and grabbed a hold of her father in a tight hug, "No daddy! I want to stay here!"

Cyrion shushed her, and gingerly unwrapped her arms, brushing her cheeks again to wipe away her tears, "Arty, you will always have a place here, but now you need to leave, ok?" He dug around in his pocket before pulling out a piece of candy, the type that he knew she loved so much, "Here, look at this? Isn't this your favorite type of candy? Now if you are a strong girl and go with Ser Greagoir, you'll get this piece of candy. Now what do you say, my girl?"

Artalise sniffled but after eyeing the candy for a few moments, nodded her head. Cyrion smiled, "Now that's my strong girl!" he handed the piece of candy over to her, before pushing her gently towards the Templar, smiling, but his entire face etched with sadness.

She looked back at her father once more, her bottom lip trembling from her attempt to hold back her tears, and took a few small steps towards the shiniest man she's ever seen. A shiny hand moved and directed her towards the door, which she opened with a shuddered breath.

She took one final look back at her father, who had his hand on the shoulder of Darrian. Her brother wiped away a tear but said nothing. Cyrion wave to her, and that was the last thing she saw before the shiny man shut the door.

"Follow me, Artalise." He turned and set out towards the gates of the Alienage at a pace that made the young elf jog in order to keep up with him.

~~~V~V~V~~~

Artalise was having a hard time keeping her jaws closed, so in awe was she of the building she found herself in. She had never left the Alienage in her life, but she'd heard stories about the buildings the humans had built just outside the only world she had ever known. This was apparently the "Chantry" and, at this time of night, there were only a few Sisters milling around. Ser Greagoir paused and looked around as if trying to spot one in particular. He seemed to spot her, "Sister Irena!"

A Sister, her head crowned with white hair walked over to the Templar, her hands clasped together. She got within 10 feet before noticing the small elf child behind him. She twisted her head around to get a better look at the obviously frightened girl before turning to face the Templar again, "Found another one, have we?"

He nodded gruffly, "I was tipped off by the Captain of the Guard earlier today that there had been an…incident in the Alienage. Thankfully the men she killed were nameless vagrants, otherwise she'd probably have been locked up by now. Or worse."

"Killed, Ser Greagoir?

"Fireball. Killed the men who apparently killed her mother"

"Oh Maker."

He nodded, "If you could put her in the room with the other one, I'll be back around dawn to take them down to Tower." When the Sister nodded, he turned and left, not noticing how Artalise's eyes followed him sadly. The only person she knew, even if it had been only for an hour, had left her. She was totally alone.

The elderly Sister smiled kindly at her, bending down and extending a worn old hand, "Come, my child. I have a friend I'd like you to meet"

Her eyes wide with fear, Artalise tentatively put her hand in the Sister's, and she was slowly led to a small room down a hallway.

The door opened to a small room with a couple of beds, one of them which supported a waking little boy. He rubbed his eyes at the sudden appearance of light, and asked, his voice heavy in sleep, "Is it morning yet?"

The Sister took a torch from the outside, and placed it in the holder near the door before lightly tapping the elf's back toward an empty bed, "No, Jowan, I've brought you a friend. She'll accompany you on your trip tomorrow"

His face immediately brightened up, and he sat up, "Really? I thought I was going to be all alone with Ser Greagoir and he scares me."

Artalise climbed up into the bed, and the sister moved to help tuck her in, "Ser Greagoir is a good man, Jowan. He will bring you no harm, so there is no need to fear him." She sighed as she stood back up after she finished, "Now you two children go to sleep right away. You have a long journey ahead of you tomorrow and will need all the sleep you can get."

"Yes Sister Irena" Jowan intoned as the sister shut the door behind her. There was silence for a few moments before Artalise heard a whisper, "My name's Jowan. What's yours?"

"Artalise."

"I'm glad you're here."

He chattered on for a few more minutes but when he realized that she wasn't going to respond he turned over to face the opposite wall and she soon heard the soft noise of him falling into deeper sleep.

Artalise, however, didn't sleep at all that night.

Brother! Father! Mama!

#4
FutileSine

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jackkel dragon wrote...

Welcome! I'll check your work out. I'm a bit comment-starved, so I know how you might feel about lack of comments.


Haha.  Oh dear!  Hope I didn't sound too desperate.  :)

#5
jackkel dragon

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I just finished reading the three prologue chapters. Good stuff so far! There are a few minor plot inconsistancies, but the few that aren't fixed in the story itself are so minor most people won't notice. (I pretend that I know almost everything about DAO.) Case in point: I can't remember any of the things I noticed (and I finished reading 4 minutes ago.)



I'll check out the other chapters soon. Keep up the good work!



PS: You don't sound too desperate, at least not the way you said it. Desperate is my fanfic thread where I was the only poster and there were 20 "replies" asking for comments.

#6
FutileSine

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That doesn't really surprise me with the plot inconsistencies....I was kinda in a rush to get the prologue done so I could move onto the good stuff - the actual story! I'm just glad to hear they weren't glaring enough to make you stop reading right away. If at some point you remember them, I'd be curious to hear what they are, but if not, I plan on reading the prologue over again to see if I can spot them regardless. Thanks for the heads up!



Do you have a link to your fanfic? I suppose I could try to search it out....but well, I'll be honest and admit that I am lazy, and I imagine you'd be able to find it quicker than I would be able too. :)



Again - thanks for the comment!

#7
jackkel dragon

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First off: Plot inconsistancies.

Not really that many. There may be one or two that I missed, but they must have been very minor. I was worried about the combination of City Elf and Mage origin, but you introduced a concept in the story that fixed the surname issue. (By the way, does DAO explain mage surnames that way, or was it your creation? Either way, it fit well.)

Another one I thought of should be considered moot. In "The Calling" novel, taking place ~9:10 Dragon, has a different Ferelden First Enchanter. Thing is, that guy dies. Your story also seems to take place ~9:15 Dragon (assuming your hero is ~20 at the opening of DAO.) So... no inconsistancy there.

Then there's Wynne. Your plot "inconsistancy" is actually more consistant than what we get in Ostagar as mages: "Hi, never seen you before." I thought that line (paraphrashed here) was bull****, as Wynne would have seen the hero at least once during the training of the children. So your double negative made the story make more sense. Besides, the hero isn't best pals with Wynne yet, so it doesn't break anything later on.

Then there's Anders. I don't know a thing about his past besides his escape attempts, so you pretty much had free reign. However, a writer supposedly said that Anders is a few years older than Alistair (who is ~21 in DAO.) I never found the quote, though. So I thought Anders's Harrowing was kind of late on, but there's precedent for that: Jowan.

So... the only real inconsistancy I could remember (Wynne) and could be supported by in-game knowledge actually made the story make more sense. No worries for the prologue, I guess.

---------------------

My Dragon Age Story is here: http://www.fanfictio...Legend_of_Tayte

Only one "chapter" so far, I'm not sure when more will come. School and my other projects are not letting me re-write a story people already know, apparently. I'll get to it eventually, I have the next chapter drafted already.

Good job with your story, and keep up the good work!

#8
FutileSine

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Oh! I am so flattered you noticed **and** wrote all those observations! These were actually the sort of comments I wanted my husband (and designated proof reader) to pick out, but unfortunately he's not as obsessed with DA:O lore as I am, or you are! :)



Regarding mage surnames - I came up with it to make the story work, and hopefully in a way that makes sense. I'm really really flattered, again, that you picked that up and liked it, actually. Seriously, I'm blushing.



Timeline for Irving - Phew! Glad it makes sense - I was going off of the codex for Ser Greagoir, which said that the only man who knew of a Tower without Greagoir was Irving...indicating he's been there for a loooong time. I've read "The Calling", but I didn't even bother working out the timeline...good to know! I'll start to do the searching myself, but do you know of any post/webpage that lists all the important dates relevant to DA:O?



Wynne - Totally agree with the greeting the mage gets from Wynne is BS. I mean, I guess the Tower is big....but I can't imagine a mage in it not having at least some face/name recognition of every other mage.



Anders - Interesting - I had no idea of his age before....but I will admit that some of what I will write about him isn't totally canon...but I do it so that it can work in my story. Thank goodness for writing only fanfic and the ability to warp facts a wee bit to make things work!



I enjoyed your story (and I'll be leaving a review shortly.) Is your avatar a picture of Tayte? I thought I could make out a scar on her left side....I also saw that at least your DA projects you were busy with were possibly mods? Thats awesome! One of these days I want to actually dabble with the toolset....but I know it would come at the heavy cost of me writing or drawing, so I hesitate to take the plunge. :)

#9
jackkel dragon

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I'm not sure about sites with specific dates for Dragon Age story lines... I'd try the unofficial wiki first. At least they have the information from the cut codex entry about Maric (died at sea in 9:25.) I always wondered why Cailan was on the throne for five years when Maric was only ~50, then I saw D. Gaider's posts and that wiki entry.

Yes, my avatar is currently Tayte Cousland. Thing is, the lighting in-game is way different from the default toolset lighting. (I used a mod to add scars in the toolset, and exported the face to the game.) So only the left eye scar is visible in the screnshot, and the nose scar is difficult to see even when zoomed in.

And yes, I am also working on the standalone module "Ferelden at War." Because of that and school, I don't have any idea when the Legend of Tayte will update. Luckily for me, the DA toolset wasn't as hard to learn for me; I already have experience with the easier NWN toolset.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your work! I'll catch up after I finish some of my schoolwork...

#10
FutileSine

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Chapter 4 added, with the dull title of "Ritual and Return" . Here's the link:



Chapter 4: Ritual and Return



This is my last chapter, at least for the next two, where I really follow the script of the game, so its a well known path that everyone here probably knows and is probably bored to death reading about....but I do add my own personal twist at the end, if that helps pique the interest level.

#11
jackkel dragon

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I finally caught up to chapter four, great so far! I especially liked the Alistair introduction scene. The other recruits were also more fluid than in DAO. I'm looking forward to seeing where this heads next!

#12
FutileSine

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jackkel dragon wrote...

I finally caught up to chapter four, great so far! I especially liked the Alistair introduction scene. The other recruits were also more fluid than in DAO. I'm looking forward to seeing where this heads next!


Thanks!  I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes too  :).....Right now I am totally having writer's block for Chapter 7 - I know where I want the story to go AFTER chapter 7, but I need to figure out how I want to deal with Lothering.  Ugh.

I'd be curious to see if you think my speculation on how shapeshifting (The core my Chapter 5) works in the DA universe is a reasonable one.  To my knowledge there isn't a codex on shapeshifting that describes the process of learning it or how it works.....?

Might as well include the link to the new chapter in this post...

Chapter 5: On Shapeshifting

Modifié par FutileSine, 19 août 2010 - 11:04 .


#13
jackkel dragon

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I think your depiction of shapeshifting is pretty close to the official one, though pedantics might argue about the timespan of learning forms. It was fun to read, though. I'm not sure how official your depiciton of magic is, but it makes sense and has been consistant so far. (Note: Morrigan has information in-game about some shapeshifting topics, but these questions are only available when you first ask her about it.)



I can see why Lothering might be a roadblock... not much really happens except setting up a few things that happen much later. It's basically what Morrigan calls it: a rest and resupply area, making a story/chapter focused on it hard to write. My first DA fanfic (long time ago) ended right before Lothering.



Keep up the good work! I hope you can get past the writer's block.

#14
FutileSine

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Thanks! I guess I should try to go waaaaay back and see if I have a save from before I asked her about it, cause now I can't remember a thing...Hmmm....
Good call on ending the fanfic before Lothering. Ugh. Such a creativity killer, that dreary little village. Oh, BTW - any idea on when your next chapter is gong to be up?
-~-~-~-~-
And a final update to the Artalise's story before I beg and plead with my muse to help me out with Chapter 7:
Chapter 6: Return to Ostagar
I'm not a very good descriptive writer at all, but reader take caution if you don't like reading about what happens to bodies that have been left on a battlefield for a few days and have been subjected to both nature and darkspawn alike.

Here's a pic I drew of the final scene of the story...No, its not a fantastic piece of art, but I think it shows it well enough. I'm ashamed of how long this took me....


Image IPB


Modifié par FutileSine, 20 août 2010 - 01:54 .


#15
jackkel dragon

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I liked the Alistair response to the above scene. Image IPB

This is great so far, I hope you can get past your block.

As for my story... I started the first actual chapter, but it's still got a bit to go. Maybe by the end of the week, if I find the time.

#16
JHByrne

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FutileSine wrote...

jackkel dragon wrote...

I finally caught up to chapter four, great so far! I especially liked the Alistair introduction scene. The other recruits were also more fluid than in DAO. I'm looking forward to seeing where this heads next!


Thanks!  I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes too  :).....Right now I am totally having writer's block for Chapter 7 - I know where I want the story to go AFTER chapter 7, but I need to figure out how I want to deal with Lothering.  Ugh.

I'd be curious to see if you think my speculation on how shapeshifting (The core my Chapter 5) works in the DA universe is a reasonable one.  To my knowledge there isn't a codex on shapeshifting that describes the process of learning it or how it works.....?

Might as well include the link to the new chapter in this post...

Chapter 5: On Shapeshifting


I haven't read your chapter entry, but I can tell you this:  if you have played through DA:O, in the Dalish village, there is a merchant who sells the Shapeshifter tome.
A good way to deal with writer's block is to walk away from it for a bit.  Don't force writing.  It should be inspired. 

Our brains are actually two brains, left/right.  Your left brain is your everyday functioning brain, and in charge of logic, mathematics, etc.  Your right brain is more creative.  Normally, your left brain is dominant (and manages most of the functions of your right hand, ie, in most people, dominant hand).  It is the waking hours brain.

Your right brain is typically submissive, and dominated by the left brain.  It is the fountain of creativity.  It has a chance to come into play when the left brain is 'sleeping'... such as when you dream.  Artists, or those who use visualization to 'imagine' solutions (such as very high level physicists) are more imaginative because they are more able to access their right brain during waking hours.

So, what's a poor writer to do?  Well, you CAN practice imagination.  Or, you can sneak up on it.  Our brain sections take little 'cat naps', which helps to explain why sometimes you have daydreams.  If you can teach your brain to more easily 'switch' sides back and forth, you can turn on your right brain, check it against your left, and go forward with a working idea. 
Also:  think about a dream diary by your nightstand.  Just as you wake up, write down as much as you can in the 3 minutes immediately AFTER you wake up.  It's the swtiching moment between left/right brains.  Don't worry about punctuation, spelling, grammar, or other 'left brain' issues.  Just write down EXACTLY what your last dream was, no matter how silly, embarrassing, erotic, or whatever it was. 

So, how do you apply it to your current writer's block?  Well, by relaxing, and walking away from it, you are taking the pressure off your right brain (it's like a poor artist trying to produce 'art' while under the watchful authority of the left brain, who insists on product, product, product!).  In a few hours, your more timid, more creative right brain may feel a little more up to the task.  Write the idea down.  Then continue the process.  In a little while, you'll have several ideas that just popped into your head.  Select one or more, and go with it.

#17
JHByrne

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Just read your 'Shapeshifting' chapter, Futile. It's well done, and yes, it's a good interpretation of shapeshifting w/in the DA universe.

However, would you mind a bit of grammar critique? Near the bottom of the chapter, Morrigan tells the other mage that she 'has to get _use_ to it'. Actually, proper grammar would be 'useD' to it. One way to check this is to switch 'use' for 'accustom', just to check for word tense.



So, the phrase would have been 'You have to get accustomED to it'. You see? Past tense. Therefore, if you are going to use the word 'use', it must be in past tense.



NOTE: it's the form called 'past progressive'.



NOTE2: what's the writer's block? Now you have 2 birds, enough to grab the treaties, and avoid the beasties (whatever they are). 'Twould be a pity, mayhap, if there happened to be another darkspawn about, with a small bow...

#18
FutileSine

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Ah shoot! I didn't mean read MY poor attempt at FF.... there are much better ones out there...oh dear.... ;)



Thanks for the grammar correction- Its been changed already in my story!



My writer's block was for Chapter 7/8 - or how to deal with Lothering in an interesting manner. My chapter after the shapeshifting one, chapter 6 entitled "Return to Ostagar" - was actually a breeze and fun to write....and my most viewed chapter yet!! Hahah. People like the dark and gruesome, it seems.



Thankfully, there were no darkspawn with bows in Chapter 6. Or if there were, they were much too busy feasting on the dead to concern themselves with two ravens...at least at first. :)

#19
FutileSine

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Oh! I didn't see you had written another post chock-full of good advice for writer's block- Thanks so much! I really appreciate especially your info on the whole right brain/left brain, as from what I am experiencing right now it makes total sense...



I think that is my issue....I am concentrating waaaay too hard on trying to figure out a creative way to deal with Lothering, but while thinking hard about what to do with it, I am instead getting some great ideas for chapters waaaaaaaaay down the line. Which is great (I now have an outline for the next several chapters minus 7/8), except I really want to get 7/8 written soon. Bah. Thankfully today is my scheduled cleaning day, so hopefully inspiration will strike me while I scrub floors, as my mind has a tendency to wander then....



Again thank you for the advice on creativity - the one thing I like about writing FF is it allows me to flex this "muscle" that I have used so rarely before writing...




#20
JHByrne

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Lothering: do you intend to stick around to 'see what happens' when the DS get there? It's an issue that wasn't dealt with at all in DA:O, but might have been... refugees desperately streaming out of town, while a rear-guard (perhaps the remaining Templars + Chasind + any other person who can pick up a blade, bow, or rock) fighting a holding action. Along comes the party.

History is filled with stories of rear-guard actions fought against impossible odds, to give refugees a chance to escape. (Examples you can find in quick online searches include: siege of Stalingrad, Leningrad 1941; Russo-Finnish War of 1939, Last Battle of Vercingetorix, 50 BC, March of Xenophon 200 BC, Siege of Nanking 1935, Bataan Death March 1942). Don't bother getting too into the details. Just skim the material of one or two of these, and get a feel for the desperation felt by the survivors.

#21
FutileSine

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Wow- In all my thinking about the upcoming chapters, I didn't even fathom doing something so outside the canon of DA:O - which you duly noted in your posting in "FF sucks" that we writers stick way too much to...If I may, I remember reading one part of a FF that kind of touched upon this subject - it was done by Snafu1000 for her FF "Moments in Time" and it was called The Fall of Lothering I thought it captured the desperation of those who remained in Lothering quite well.

I think I would have a really big creative issue including that in my story, because I imagine I would have some difficulty getting my characters out of Lothering alive if they stayed and tried to defend the village. And I've got some ideas down the line for some plot twists that require them to be alive. :) What you have said though, definitely sounds like it would be a very interesting one-shot, or even a short story.

In other ACTD news....there's a new chapter up!
Chapter 7: Trail to Lothering

#22
FutileSine

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Sweet. I am really knocking these out - ahh, the sweet long days of summer! I shall miss thee.....



Chapter 8: Village of Lothering



Just read the "FF sucks" thread and realized that my time frame might be a wee bit off (they should have been recuperating at the hut for a bit longer than I had them)....c'est la vie! Hopefully nobody really minds. :)

#23
FutileSine

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Chapter 9: Desperate Times



Bump for Chapter 9! :)

#24
FutileSine

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Chapter 10: Call For

Aaaaand, a bump for Chapter 10.

Waaay off topic, but I just have to post it here because anyone who reads this will understand - I adopted a female stray cat who turned out to be preggers (With 7 kittens!!!) Now that the kitties are 8 weeks old, I finally went to get mama spayed...and now, when she sits up so I can see all her teats....she looks like a freaking broodmother because they are all swollen with milk due to being gone all day and the kittens not nursing. Seriously. Its the most disturbing thing ever....*shudders*

#25
jackkel dragon

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I'll check the new chapters out.
Cat broodmother? Image IPBImage IPBImage IPBImage IPB