Sylvius the Mad wrote...
I'm not forcing them to do anything. I'm giving them a remark that has clear denotative meaning. What they do with it is up to them.
You're forcing an interpretation of language on them centered around denotative meaning. There really is no neutral option when it comes to interaction.
By removing the interpretive part of my end of the conversation, I would argue I'm making it less confusing and easier to understand.
What do you mean, removing the interpretive part?
And yet they only improve at interpretation if I explicitly tell them what I've done (and even then they'll still screw it up some of the time).
That's because, to use an analogy, you show up in skates at a basketball game. By insisting on using a set of rules different than everyone else, you add to the confusion, not reduce it.
But if I don't include that interpretive content, then I know I haven't included it poorly, and I know that I'm not trying to convey information in a way I can't defend. Plus, it tends to produce the behaviour I want (the other people driving the conversation).
I think I see what you're driving at. You consider anything that is beyond the denotative meaning interpretation. The problem, is lacking any note and attempting to convey only denotative meaning is interpretation. You are asking the other party to make inferences based on that.
More to the point, letting other people drive the conversation is what leads to more misundertands. As I understand you, what you do is try to remove as much emotion or non-word indicators from a sentence as possible, then provide no feedback to the other person up to a point where you feel they are misunderstanding you, at which point you correct them (or don't, since you've actually mentioned that you rarely correct misunderstandings).
Are you actually surprised that you are often misunderstood?
Conversation is something that is interactive and that you have to drive at some point, otherwise you are effectively letting the person go on without any feedback, accumulating misundertanding and errors, until the whole process cascades and the other person just fees confused that you've led the on for the entire duration of your talk.
You've mentioned before that you don't like an unvoiced PC because it makes you feel like a passive participant in the conversation. But I want to feel like a passive participant in the conversation. Those are the conversations in which I am most comfortable.
I don't like an unvoiced PC because it forces you to be passive. I don't have an issue with the option to be passive - it is just that I do not want it forced on me, as I suppose you do not want to be forced to be active.





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